I am a INFP, but just barely not a INFJ on the Myers Briggs Test.
Introvert 12%, iNtuitive 25%, Feeling 47%, Perceiving 3%
I have been attempting to make it as a blogger/digital artist for many years while working as staff in a library. Apparently, the library keeps on overlooking me for hiring into full time positions. I survive on part-time because I also have disability income. For a while I had been sleeping 16 hours a day, and thought was difficult. Many things changed so that I would like to get full-time employment, but as my skills are in art and writing... such employment is hard to time.
So I have been spending my free time in study. Finding a teacher like Neville Goddard, Bashar, Abraham, etc. I will pass my extra time listening to these teachers in my own personal university of the internet/audible.
Apparently, the universe is okay with this path of study because I am continually rejected for other part-time or full-time employment.
After studying the LoA for many years and tending to look at the world in rose colored glasses as part of my personality as an INFP, I am ready to give up on such studies. I like listening to Abe because it helps me relax, but the reality of what she says does not reflect in my life.
What is an artist to do? My writing and art continue to fail to bring me income. Even after getting a showing at a local coffee shop. Not a single picture sold and the cost of printing out digital artwork is not low.
Lately at work, I have been working the night-shift 12am-5am almost full-time. Only because I need 10-12 hours sleep (lately tending towards 12) and I take 1-2 hours to fall asleep (all my life, they say it is a sign of high intelligence) I only see the sun when I am attempting to sleep. Except when they schedule me to work 10am-6pm on Saturday. They give me Friday off to dramatically switch from night hours to day hours (every week.)
A night position is opening up full time and while nighttime at the library tends to be slow enough that I can listen to long audiobooks and study while at work (or browse forums/write) I am wondering how much I want the position. Can I get used to seeing no sunlight in the winter?
I do enjoy the night, but I enjoy the day too.
The true artist will paint with no immediate intention of selling their paintings. For to desire something to sell, you are desiring external validation. You are desiring somebody else to say "yes this is valuable." You are seeking confirmation because you do not trust your own judgement of your art. And this means you do not trust yourself.
For until you receive the happenings of a stranger to say, "Yes, this is beautiful. This is worth $3,000"- you are postponing life. You are a gigolo and a prostitute if you insist other people to anoint you with their approval. An artist is a creator who is not in hungry need for permission to paint. The artist and creator creates because that is how it is.
Is your painting beautiful? You are to say. If you say it is so, then nothing in this world can argue because your judgement is the ultimate authority that will never be shaken.
Do you not trust life?
Here is a pragmatic approach. If you agree with this then do so. If not then ignore me) Set yourself a time limit of 2 months. In this period take all of your art off for sale or otherwise give it away. Continue to paint or sing or whatever your crafts are.
Otherwise, raise your standards and set the prices higher. If you believe they are beautiful and worth that price, why not raise the price? Do you feel worth it?
Paint your new painting and put it on sale for $15,000. Hmmm.....How does that change your reality? Do you believe you are powerful enough to raise your price that way? If your paintings do not sell as they currently stand, then you might as well raise the prices. Perhaps people need to be shown how valuable you are.
True art has no price, because price is a definition of subjective value. Subjective value is a contortion of our physical brain. Your Higher Mind, in Bashar speak, knows the path and is telling you to continue your paintings.
Is it not sufficient to have potential customers view your craft? That sounds enough to me.
answered 14 Oct '17, 22:30
How are you feeling most of the time? Are you feeling apathetic-to-worried, angry, frustrated, irritated? Are you sort of half-winging it in all areas, because nothing is working like you want it to, but you're not fully committing to anything?
Is there anything in your life that is going how you like? Can you focus on the good feelings that thing or situation brings you, and not so much on trying to figure anything out right now?
From the perspective of someone who buys art and is opening an art gallery as my latest venture, I can 'feel' when an artist is doing something in order to be pleasing to others, rather than creation from a place of joy and genuine inspiration.
It's the difference between finding a folk art wooden animal carved for the tourist market, or one someone carved as a present for someone they loved. It's a vibration that translates into the actual physical object, and people respond to that, consciously or unconsciously. When you create art in order to sell, to be validated as an artist, it feels "off" to people, even if they don't consciously recognize it. And it's not about talent! Some really terrible art is highly collected because the artist doesn't care that anyone likes their stuff, and that irreverence is almost tangible in the artwork! It's all a perfect dance.
1) Focus on what is good, 2) create your art from joy of expression, leave everyone else out of it, 3) appreciate things about your current job. This will start shifting things, it's like lines of direction will suddenly start appearing for you to follow.
Myself, I went through a phase in my art where I would create small paintings or sculptures and leave them behind anonymously in public spaces. This helped my resistances and increased my joy tremendously (it was fun and exciting to me), so I super recommend it! :)
Edited to add: I think that there is a lot of joy to be had in just having your coffeehouse show. I can almost guarantee you that even though you didn't sell, people thought about and talked about your art, and enjoyed it as part of the overall ambience. Congratulations on the display, that in and of itself is really wonderful, IMO.
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a * divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others." Martha Grahamn
You're focusing too much on (your lack of) money. You're using effort and action to make what you want happen. Can you blog and create digital art just for fun? Can the pleasure of content creation be enough for you right now? There's an audience for your blog, and there's a market for your artwork. All the people who'd enjoy and benefit from your creative endeavors will find you, but you've got to get into alignment before you write anything or make a new piece. Have you ever seen a musician play live and just sensed how much fun he was having in the moment and how much love and passion he had for his craft? Those feelings draw people into the audience to hear him play. If you're writing a post just because you think it will drive a lot of traffic or if you're creating a piece to appeal to the masses, then your work probably won't have enough energy to attract the number and type of people who'd feel inspired to patronize you. If an idea or concept for a blogpost/art piece doesn't excite you, light a fire under you, then don't pursue it. Go for a walk, watch a movie, do whatever it takes to relax. Trust that the right ideas will come. They always do.
Is there anything about your job that you enjoy or can appreciate, even if it's as simple as "I like writing and it feels good to be surround by books"? Does any of the cover art speak to you? Try focus blocks if you feel that your job is a source of resistance for you. There are also really good Abe videos on YT that explain what it means to be tired. Watch a few and see if they shift your perspective.
May you have possibly have visualized the art, but not necessarily the people enjoying it? The two experiences of creating great art and reaching an audience are distinct. They are on a completely different frequency energetically- as different as chewing gum and playing baseball. Further, there is having money, which is distinct from the other two. You need to sufficiently focus on all three in order to achieve that desirable combination of fortune, fame and accomplishment.
In order to achieve the necessary lubrication of the universal machines, so to speak, you must also systematically eliminate negative beliefs, and increase the amount of energy you are used to having. The best ways to do this are these:
(1) Argue negative voices out of existence
Inner voice: I'm terrible.
You: No you're not, you're good. You're good. You're good.
Repeat the triple opposite statement every single time you habitually think a negative statement about yourself, whether it takes 100, 1000, or a million repititions- stick to it, you will get results
(2) Appreciate things
Rose-tinted glasses are a poor metaphor- they imply the reality behind them is not rose. Since 90% of reality is interpretation anyway without even taking an energy world view (if you do it's 100%) by changing your point of view you are rose-tinting the world. If you're not, that's a negative belief, and it needs to be argued out of existence as above.
You need to do this a lot. Once won't cut it. Couple a minutes out of every hour is getting there. As close as you can get to non-stop is more like it.
(3) Increase energy
Use a couple of the many energy boosters that are available to you. My favorite is a combination of Picopico, and the La'a Kea from the Huna philosophy.
(4) Clearly mark beginnings and endings of formal sessions. I have found all spiritual exercises give a much greater feel (and hence energy flow) if I start them dramatically, and end them even more dramatically. For example, for visualizing, I will say in a very dramatic voice to myself: "Yeeeeeeeeeeeah and now for paying a visit to the realm where all things come from! All right!" You don't have to go full on World Wrestling Federation tonality if you don't want to, but use some kind of showmanship that you like. The reasons showmanship uses it is that it's impressive- that's what you're after. For ending it you can keep it simple- use a physical gesture, a stance, or white out your visualizing- mark that you're done now and can go and party.
The effect of this is that you have better concentration with the beginning, and more satisfaction in the end, which improves energy flow.
(5) Combine stuff
My best results have aways come from doing a bunch of techniques at once because it overwhelms disbelief so nicely. My favorite is Haipule from Huna:
Practice doing all of these at once daily until you get really, really good at it. You know you are getting really, really good at it when the intensity of positive emotion gets really strong- or when you get all kinds of physical ailments or emotional shivers that try to stop you. Take a moment to deal with them, for example by arguing them out of existence, and then take up the Haipule again. You should be able to take it further.
Enjoy! You're doing great- keep working on your spiritual side! You will succeed if you keep it up.
Personally, my favorite teacher is Serge King. If you want to learn from him, I suggest starting with his book "Huna - Ancient Hawaiian Secrets for Modern Living", followed by "Urban Shaman" if you want to take it is far as you can.
answered 16 Oct '17, 08:53
I do agree with all the answers above. Being an artist myself, I have gone through the same process, more or less, and I really thought a lot about your question before getting to answer it, because I wanted to add something to what other people have already brilliantly exposed: Art is not an income generator in the first place. Art is fun, it is play, it is all about freedom and joy and life.
"Apparently, the universe is okay with this path of study because I am continually rejected for other part-time or full-time employment."
"I am ready to give up on such studies. I like listening to Abe because it helps me relax, but the reality of what she says does not reflect in my life."
I would say that the Universe is always okay with this path of study, because I believe this is the reason that we come into this Time-Space reality. However, I went through periods in my life when I felt exactly like you did, and periods in which I completely gave this studies up because "they didn't work for me".
After a while, I would always come back to my studies. Why? Because they were "logical" to me, and that's the reason I believe we create our reality with our thoughts: it's the only logical explanation for Time-Space Reality. Is there something about Life that sounds more logical than this?
And then I thought: well, maybe I didn't interpret this in the right way... And that was what kept me going, you know. I refused to believe these people are fake and telling lies, because deep inside I knew that what I have found on these Teachings were far more logical to me than any other kind of explanation about what reality is about.
This new way of thinking changed everything, because I sometimes would not agree with everything I heard Abraham say. I would then repeat to myself: well, maybe it's my interpretation that is "wrong"... And you know what, later, it could be months later, I would shift, and then understand, and then I said to myself: you see, now, they were right, I just didn't know it, I just didn't understand what they were saying, because I was not in the same vibrational frequency.
It happened to me over and over again. It happened to me recently, when I could not understand why they would insist that "effort" and "action" was in the way of manifestations. I really rebelled against it, because, being a musician, and being lazy sometimes, I know I have to drag myself to the bench and force myself to play the piano even when I don't want to. After I did it, after I went against what I believed they were saying about it - and followed what my Inner Being was screaming for me to do, make that effort and act - I shifted, and then I understood: I really enjoy the effort of studying the piano, it is something I enjoy - to drag myself there and play -, because, in a distorted way, it makes me feel like I am winning over lazyness, and it brings me some kind of distorted satisfaction to think that I am winning over laziness, which is really crazy for me to undertand! I love the feeling of forcing myself to do things I don't really want to do - so much so that, when it's over, I feel good! Then, it's no effort at all, even though I thought it was, before dragging myself there, because I enjoy the obligation of practicing; otherwise, I would have given up a long time ago.
I even think this world is so miserable because the human race, in reality, enjoys misery - there is a scene in the movie The Matrix when the agent says that, in the beginning, the Matrix was a perfect world that human beings could not stand.
How can it be? Are we not screaming against such misery?
Well, I am a writer, too, and I write fiction. I realize there is no way into fiction without problems to be solved. Imagine a book where there's no problem to be solved, just eternal bliss - would that be an exciting book?
What is the most exciting thing we can think about, in terms of manifestation? Well, I think that it is to be born in poverty and become rich by our endeavors. And that's exactly what Abraham says it's wrong with us: we want to act and make the effort and get what we want - and they say: No, that's the hard way, that does not work. But we, the human race, we love effort and we love the hard way! We find it exciting! If we heal that from our system, we will not even have to move from the bed in the morning, because we won't have to - what bliss to sleep and wake up only to eat!
Wait a minute - not for me! I respect people when they are lazy and enjoy to be lazy, I don't really see any problem with that - but I like the effort, and since I like the effort, it's no effort at all and Abraham is absolutely right: anything that gives you pleasure will lead you there. I have pleasure in the effort!
All of what I wrote about means the following: you are not "there" yet, so it will be a very bad move to quit your studies. I am quitting my studies now, but not because I think it does not work - I am coming back into the world to act on it because I do understand what to be in the Vortex means and feels like; I do understand the use of imagination to create the feeling that makes it possible to receive what I want; I do understand that manifestation is a process that may take our whole lives - which means that maybe it will take a long time for me to fine tune myself into seeing what I want into the physical world - and the finest thing of all: I don't need it to manifest anymore, because what I really wanted was to understand all this and know it's coming, it's coming, it's coming...
Dear, I know you will not like this, but in the future you will thank me for being sincere: you are not manifesting because you are far from understanding what you've been reading so far. I know, I have been there, too. Remembering The Matrix again: there's a big difference between knowing the path and walking the path...
It means: there's a real difference between learning the theory of it and learning how to feel and create with imagination.
I see you are the very kind of person that has everything needed to walk this path successfully, otherwise I would not be telling this to you, I'd not risk your anger :). You are just in the middle of your journey, so don't give up, don't give up, don't give up! When you get there, you will understand all of this in such a different way that you will think: well, Abraham fooled people into believing that they can manifest big red beautiful cars out of the blue. But what they are really teaching is: you don't really need the car!
answered 25 Nov '17, 10:16
My writing and art continue to fail to bring me income. What is an artist to do?"
stop saying that.
answered 25 Nov '17, 21:38
It's all about finding your bliss.
It's been said well in the above answers. But sit yourself down, and ask yourself: What really makes me happy??? What do I do when I want to feel good about myself? What do I do whether I'll get any applause or not??? It wasn't until I asked myself this question that I figured this out.
I was a gifted child who grew up into a very messed-up adult. I am gifted at more than one thing. So, when I hit college, I just couldn't figure out what to major in. I wanted to major in everything!
Finally, I understand that part of my fear was committing to only one path. Now, I go with my own flow, from activity to activity, and am much happier. IQ is one, art, music, writing, etc. I try not to think about earning a living; I try instead to just be happy in whatever I do. Right now, it makes me happy to be here on IQ.
Be happy! Happiness attracts more happiness.
This answer is marked "community wiki".
answered 25 Nov '17, 11:41
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website