First of all, I would like to say that this may sound like a rant, if so I apologize and Barry or any other moderators can feel free to close this thread! :)
So, basically I have been chasing self-development stuff, learning about the Law of Attraction, listened to tons of Abraham-Hicks videos on youtube and did a couple of Abraham's processes for a few weeks, etc for this 1 year (You can check my profile and see that I have been here for 1 year +)
I was really negative then one year ago,complained a lot and jumped at every little single thing and sometimes have suicidal thoughts. Now, I can withhold my words and thoughts a lot better, but instead it falls on the verge of sometimes completely not replying (cause I do not know what to reply - I mean, like I have a reply but I know it may offend him/her, so I keep it instead and can't think of something else fast enough to substitute that) and this instead made people misunderstand that I am "blur"/not listening or rude..
Even though I have changed noticeably (Albeit only to myself) in this one year, I can't really say that I have found myself in the Vortex at all during this one year? It's like sometimes by reading the answers on this site and listening to some videos I get the "Aha" moment, but only for a while... like sometimes reality just contradicts your "aha" moments and thoughts. And the sucidal thoughts are slowly coming back again?
I have thought about these myself and can probably say that my main problems lie in these areas:
1) I have difficulty continuing to do something for a long period of time. The furthest I went for the Master Key System was until chapter 5 or 6, and the 2nd or 3rd time I read it I couldn't even get past Chapter 2. Abraham-Hick's processes, Manifesting Experiment 1/2(By Stingray) didn't go too well either, it was like the first time I did it was for 2 weeks, and the next time I try to do it again I lasted even a shorter amount of time, like just a few days? (?)
2) I have difficulty believing that Abraham is real. I do believe there are spirits, non physical stuff etc, but being able to channel an entity(or entities) whenever you like at whim is something that seems impossible to me? And when you don't believe a teacher is real, it is difficult and hard to accept all their teachings even when some of them reasonates with you. The more I listen to them, the more I feel this way. (But I think this has some link to do with me not experiencing the vortex before at all too)
This probably also has something to do with me & other religions. Sometimes I just find that the things my Muslim friends have to do are just ridiculous (no offense to any Muslims here..) and also I have had bad experiences with my friends who converted to Christians from other religions (again, no offence to any Christians here)
3) When you have physical obligations, it seems to be very difficult to see yourself forward? Like Abraham always say the present is the past, and all you need to do is to align yourself with the future.. but if you have pressure to do well in school or pressure to feed your family etc, it seems to be really difficult because you would feel the harsh face of reality (not sure if you know what I mean by this, kind of like you slowly slipping back into reality - this is a completely different world from the outside)
Wew, that was a hard post to type, since I sometimes have trouble conveying my thoughts into words too. But do feel a lot better now :) Actually I don't even know what I plan to get out of this question, but maybe pointing me in the correct direction or just some comments or suggestions would be good?
asked 16 Feb '11, 15:36
I dont think the above is a rant, in fact i hope it doesnt get moved off the site.
WHY.. Because its a very real list of complaints/problems and frustrations which have personally dogged me for many years. I suspect im not the only person who can relate to the above either.
For me the journey from being where i was to at least heading nearer what i want has been fraught with problems,most of which have been my fault,even if not consciously.
My only advice is to use your greatest gift ( your mind ) to dwell on the positive,lovely,joyfull,blissfull and uplifting.
I dont do this all of the time....i must be honest. BUT over the years ive gone from hardly ever doing this,to predominantly doing this. Have i nailed this....no. Have i reached the tipping point...yes.
Has it made my life on this earth better, damn right it has.
Kakaboo, i would give this piece of advice. Forget the questions about Esther Hicks credibility,forget any other religious systems credibility .
Just move as far as you can to thinking thoughts which move towards relief,even if they move only a little way towards this.Move them even if they only last a little while...its better than no while.
Do it because it makes you feel better.Try to forget the results,in fact try to forget why your doing it.
Just do it Kakaboo.Do it day by day,thought by thought,minute by minute.
Do it for the rest of your life on this earth. Unless your an ace meditator and can slip into a Tolle style ( no offense Eckhart ) state of unconscious bliss then your going to have millions of thoughts in your life. Your going to have them anyway....you just are. So steer them,little by little to where you want them to go.
Its your mind,your will and your decision.
I hope you steer your way free of the situation your in.My thoughts and prayers are with you. You have hit on quite a nerve with this post because i can relate to this in a more real and visceral way than i can most posts.
answered 16 Feb '11, 16:07
Hi Kakaboo; Sounds like there is alot of stuff going on for you at present and I know what that feels like as I have gone through many years of going in and out of alignment. The key word here is "PROCESS" and that requires patience.
Firstly: As "seekers of truth", I too have fallen victim of becoming a Spiritual Vagabond, scattering my energy by going every where (reading books, attending seminars), until one day my Guides or Higher Self explained to me that I was making this whole process difficult for myself. The way they explained it to me was, that firstly I had to acknowledge that I was already creating, be it in a positive or negitive mode, but the fact remained that I was creating.......with that acceptance within myself, I then let go of scattering my energies by applying simple changes, like creating positive affirmations which I ran through my mind throughout the day.........Yes I did slip up from time to time, but I also forgave myself and reaffirmed that I was still learning (so I did'ent feel so bad)
Secondly: When it came to interacting with other people, I too found it difficult. I was always the one that felt I had to add to the conversation and now more than ever, it had to be something positive ( talk about pressure), but then I realised that I was the one that had the problem with Silence. The other person was usually more interested in hearing their own voice, so I quickly learned to smile or nod ( to indicate that I was listening) and if they directly asked me "what do you thinK" I always responded by asking them " do you really want to know what I think? Once agreement was given, I followed by starting with "In my opinion ................". This allowed me to express my opinion and get them to take responsibility for asking for my opinion in the first place.
Thirdly:I agree with you that it can be difficult to try to stay positive when dealing with basic survival mode. However, we were never meant to walk this path alone, so the agreement with Source, God, whatever you want to address it as, was that we ask for help if we needed it. Just put the request out there " I need help with............." and then trust that your request will be answered. I know what I suggesting sounds too simple to be real but trust me on this one I have walked the path of believing that life was dealing me a lousy set of cards UNTIL I took responsibility for my creation( through positive or negative thoughts and words) and asked daily for help with everything that I did...............I NEVER GO ANYWHERE NOW WITHOUT MY INVISIBLE FRIENDS
Hope this has helped in some way.
answered 16 Feb '11, 18:17
kakaboo, you need to take a break and relax. You are too hard on yourself. Do only the things that bring you joy. There is no way you are going to be of use to anyone, least of all yourself if you are unhappy with your life and what you have to do. Don't take life too seriously no matter what others may say. Don't allow anyone to push you. You matter and you are loved.
As far as getting into the vortex and whether the Abe hicks exists or not,what does it matter? You can't make use of anything if you're not happy and appreciative of your life and the world around you. Snap out of the victim mode and start taking responsibility by living your life the way you wanted to. Live it by doing the things you love and not the things you feel you have to do out of fear of becoming homeless, ridiculed....
Trust that all is well and that you'll be well no matter what you decide to do. Follow your dream and listen to your heart. No Fear in any step, only Love.
Kakaboo, I love you
answered 16 Feb '11, 16:26
Don't get hung up on being in a vortex, I have been reading about it for along time and have not been in the type of Vortex either. Not sure it is realistic or normal to be in some extreme state like that either. As far as the Abraham thing, I think that is BS but I just listen to the concepts she is discussing, about trying to get in a better feeling place about things, etc. It sounds like you are in a place of "movement" the fact that you are questioning some things may be a good sign that you are awakening to the better version of you and doing what is right for you as well as your family. If you are just living a life instructed by other peoples self help concepts you are not quite living either. Hard to explain, but I think I am getting at is some sort of balance....stay strong.
answered 16 Feb '11, 19:15
vortex is just a concept and you are not missing anything that you do not want to miss.
answered 22 Feb '11, 20:12
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