My gosh, I don’t know how to keep the dialogue going on my request so I had to start a second question. I mean, if I answer my own question or comment on yours or someone else’s comment; how will each of you know that I have responded?
Also, the link to the Google group, is that where I should continue this discussion or is this site the correct place?
So, I am not sure on where to begin…do I start at where I am or do I share what got me to this point? I began preparing a response to one of the answers and in doing so I completed a 3 page word document which summarizes the last 23 years of my life. However, I do not want to overwhelm everyone with such reading and thus cut myself off from the ideas and knowledge that the group has to share. (If it would be beneficial in sharing this, let me know as it could be a classic case study in how one attracts things unto themselves.)
I will share this with the group… Due to my own quest for knowledge and self development I have grown spiritually over the last year and have never been closer to my creator. There are many great resources out there that have enabled me to move from the one end of the scale to the other as relates to my spiritual being.
Unfortunately, I have little time on my side. I have been on a knowledge quest for almost 16 months and in doing this I have neglected many important parts of my life and that is now going to bite me in my rear end.
Additionally, I am way over my head due to my past. I am presently without employment, I burned almost all my professional bridges 6 years ago, I have an excellent credit record in that I have never been late on a payment and yet my credit record is in shambles due to the debt that I am carrying. I am over qualified for many of the jobs I am applying for and yet I have a gap of over 6 years in my employment history due to being self-employed. I am living off of my retirement nest egg but the funds are going to be depleted in less than 5 months. My wife who has watched as my life tumbled and I took hers with me, has been by my side through all this, and now I am going to crush her as I force her to put our house up for sale.
Thus I have grown spiritually, and yet I am near the point of being crushed by a horrid and self defeating past. I make myself sound like a terrible person, truly I am not. I had a great child hood but things started to change as I watched my mother pass of cancer when I was 20. After that my life had its ups and downs until I was 27 at which point the only up was when I was married at the age of 28, other than that it has been a descent for what is now 23 years and whenever I think it can’t go any lower, it goes lower.
I cannot get a foot hold. EFT is keeping me at an even keel for the most part as relates to my peace of mind, but my past is blighted with so many issues that I just need a “Do Over”. I have so much to give to my fellow man, and yet the blind cannot guide the blind. I have such knowledge to offer…I can feel the energy in me ready to go and yet I am for some reason holding myself back. I must turn my life around and then I will have such great experience that I can help my fellow man.
I could ramble on for some time…I am lost and have sought guidance from my spiritual guide but my wounds are so many and so deep that there pain must be preventing me from the Wisdom being directed my way.
I have a nine page document that I review, tap on, and reflect on every morning and yet I am still spinning my tires. I finally asked yesterday for some resource to guide me and that was how I found the Inward Quest site.
I am overwhelmed, I am treading water that keeps poring in on me, I have brought such negativism into my life and I have no idea how to move beyond it…
Thanks again for your responses.
Your question has interesting timing.
I've been secretly :) working on Manifesting Experiment 4 and have been wondering when I should "unveil" it here so that others can give it a try. I'll take this as a sign that it might as well be now :)
The last few bits were inspired into place a few weeks ago and, since then, I've been trialling it out in my own life and the results have been pretty impressive, even by my standards.
The ideal person to try it out would be someone who already knows EFT (or, at least, a belief change process like Focus Blocks) and someone who has some major life issues to deal with mixed in with some time pressure.
That sounds like someone like you. So give me a few days to write up all my notes and I'll post it on this website (probably early next week) so you, and anyone else interested, can try it out.
In the meantime, you might want to read through (or even try out) the first three manifesting experiments and see if they help you at all.
The new fourth experiment basically supercharges Manifesting Experiment 1 (The Manifesting Box) and Manifesting Experiment 2 (The Focus Blocks Method) so they become hugely more effective.
If anyone at IQ wants to get some background on what's coming, it is basically a systematic, workable version of a process I've been playing with for some time now which I call "Surfing Your Desire Into Manifestation". You'll find an explanation of that particular process here: How can I release the “how” and trust the universe will deliver?
answered 09 Jun '11, 18:22
Jim... I too can feel the desperation or plea in your post. You've been offered some helpful advice here so I'm going to try and not repeat what the others have said.
I have a feeling that you've reached a crucial point in your own self development and rather than try and negate it I think you should in fact be celebrating... yes really. You've spent the last 16 mths going within and now all that wonderful stuff that you've suppressed over the years is bubbling to the surface so you can finally look at it and release it.
Yes, it may feel unpleasant and painful and your old egoic way of thinking just doesn't want to look at it because, quite frankly when you do, your ego now realizes that it will no longer hold the reins of control... your higher self will and that is where your true freedom resides.
I have a sneaking suspicion that, over the years, who you were was defined by your status symbols....the job, the house, the car etc. and with the thought of losing those looming on the horizon your ego is now in panic mode or overwhelm. This really is a good thing because it means something way more substantial is emerging and that is your authentic self.
I think when we begin a spiritual journey our soul will always guide us in exactly the right direction we need for optimal growth. Your soul is showing you right now what you need to look at in order to grow.However, you have to be willing to let go of any attachment to those staus symbols because they really do not define who you are. There is nothing wrong with having those material things per se, but what feels wrong is the atttachment to them. Ironically enough, I think when you manage to let go of the attachment to them they'll probably end up coming into your reality in a plentiful amount.
As some of the others have pointed out you really shouldn't make time the enemy. I can feel your panic at what you think is looming around the corner. However right Now you are helping to create that and by greeting the present moment with panic, you're only creating a future that will be filled with that... I know you've probably read enough spiritual literature to realize that.
Do what streetsanto suggested and find anything in the moment that you can appreciate or be thankful for... I can't stress enough how significant such a small thing can be. And to add to this I would even suggest looking for someone you can help...either through doing something or through teaching. It really will make you forget your own problems and will leave you feeling good in a way that can't be matched by anything else.You can even be thankful that you found IQ... you're obviously supposed to be here.
As jai suggested...communicate with your wife. If she truly loves you it really won't matter if you live in a 30 room mansion or a 2 room shack. But, what will destroy the relationship is your unwillingness to communicate and let her know what you feel. The fact that she is still with you and part of this means that she too has contributed in some way to this creation albeit that she sat back and allowed it to happen.Who knows, she may even see something that you're not able to see at the moment in your state of overwhelm.
I don't know if you've talked with anyone regarding your Mom's illness and death...maybe you haven't gone fully through the grieving process and talking to a counsellor may help you
Please just remember Jim that you are never lost... you're here asking for help and that is a major step in the right direction.I can't promise that all your problems will be solved in a few weeks or a few months but I do know that if you continue on this path that you will begin to come alive and begin to find those answers you'er looking for. Listening to this may help you feel a little less lost.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VosFiY1SifA
You're going to be fine... stop treading and just float :)
answered 10 Jun '11, 00:13
You have plenty of time Jim. Time is an illusion. It makes the virtual game here on earth seem so freakishly real at times. I know and I too have felt it's crushing but illusory grip.
What I want to draw your attention to is your concern on time... and doing something because of lack of time. Shake that feeling, by focusing on something that makes you feel good and smile. I feel Desperation in your letter. Walls closing in on you. You feel guilty because you "are taking down your wife" in a crash and burn scenario...even though you feel compelled to man the ship until it goes under.
When depression or any negative set of emotions set in...it is like quicksand. The harder you fight, the deeper you sink.
Your entire letter you make it quite clear of things going wrong. But....what is going right? Focus on the things going right in your life...and you will attract more. Notice them. Look for them. It's really all in your control. This may seem cold and too direct. This may seem too easy and simple for you to believe that it would work ... but what have you got to lose ? I can tell you how to change your life around right now. Everyday for the next 30 days: spend 5-10 minutes in the morning.... noticing the good things that support you. Play with it...make it light, not a chore. Enjoy the feel of fresh air and the fact that your lungs are programmed to breathe..without your control. Start there if you need. Make a list and add one thing a day to this list. Start each day reviewing the list...should bring a smile to your lips. Your vibration will be tuned up... ready to hook into law of attraction and bring you more. Try and do this before you greet anybody in the morning. If necessary keep a book by your bed...or text a memo on your cellphone.
answered 09 Jun '11, 19:08
More people than you can guess have been in your shoes- including me. I have been down and out, up and down, for years...I even got to the point that I was attempting suicide on a regular basis. I just saw no way out. That is the trouble, I think. We see no way out! It always seems like the answers to our troubles just will not come; we cannot seem to catch even a wisp of a break; we reach bottom, only to find out that it was false, and there was another bottom below it! Grrr....
I can only tell you what pulled me through my life time and again.
1.I found it soothing to find an open church (or to get permission to sit in one all day), and to write letters to God. I saved those letters; moreover, I expected answers! I thought that being in the house of my Lord somehow made it seem more official. More often than not, in those churches, I found my pen moving slower and slower, my thoughts moving less chaotically, and felt myself just being in the Presence of God.
2. I made sure I sought a professional counselor. This was because counselors have networks of help- lists of places and people that are ready and waiting to offer a hand to you. Counseling is not just for the "crazy". It is nice to have at least one person on your side.
3. You already have done this third step- you are talking about it! That it vital! But perhaps you might want to sit down with your life's companion, and just ask for her support and understanding. Please do not underestimate her! You may find you have a gem, a rock, at your side! Be honest and point no fingers at anyone. Include her. Love her. I assure you, it feels terrible when you know your husband is troubled and will NOT talk to you!
4. PRAY!!! Prayer is a form of energy. It stirs up Heaven itself. Remember, God is a Gentleman, and will not bother you unless you ask for help. Please know that Wade and I will be praying for you. I also ask anyone who reads this to pray for Jim. The more, the merrier!
Jim, I wish you all the best! Please know that this IQ Community is a Great One, full of life's true wisdom and strength. They have pulled me through life-threatening illness and more. Try Stingray's suggestions.
Know you ARE loved.
Blessings, with Great Love, Jai
answered 09 Jun '11, 20:38
I also say interesting timing.
I almost want to congratulate you on your breakthrough Jim.
You are on the verge of some really great things. In order for you to grow you need to face some difficult challenges. Without these, we cannot understand ourselves.
This site might also help Positive Disintegration
You wil see many of us here guide you in our own caring ways.
I know you are going to be fine, because you are fine right NOW!
answered 09 Jun '11, 18:30
Your past is just that.Past. Gone by .No longer here.That train left the station.
I go farther than that.I try do this all day, everyday. When the negative stuff gets in your head change the subject. If your in your car and a song comes on that's not to your liking what do you do?Keep listening, turn up the volume? No you change the channel or turn it off.
answered 09 Jun '11, 23:05
Hi Jim, this is the right place to ask a question about these subjects. However, by asking one person, Simon, you are limiting the answers that the Universe can bring to you. We never know which channel, how, who, when etcetera the answers will arrive from.
I’ll answer the various parts of your question; see if you can pick up on the clues which are there. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers from the members of this forum; there are only the answers which may be solutions to your particular challenges. You have obviously made a request and answers have come forth, so choose the ones which resonate with you the most.
I’m not picking up a strong sense of ego-action in your writing, which implies to me that you’ve worked on yourself and have gone a long way towards moving away from judgment. However, you have to relax any and all judgment towards any and all of your own past actions, because self-devaluation and self-incrimination is judgment nonetheless.
I think the key issues here are that there’s a sense of impending doom in your question due to, in your estimation, a lack of time and fear that your money will run out and your belief that you’ll have to sell your house and the imagined response of your wife if you do in fact have to sell.
By appreciating everything in your life right now, your vibrational frequency will rise closer to the vicinity of love. You’ll feel better and will be able to reflect upon and consider the next step that’ll serve you best. Start appreciating everything as soon as you wake each morning.
Here’s something that helped me and it’s worth considering. If you go into it you will discover that each of us creates/selects the version of reality that we wish to perceive and experience. There’s no fundamental reality other than the reality that we define and believe to be reality. So our definitions and beliefs are what create the experience of the reality we perceive. All versions of reality are equal because there’s no fundamental underlying reality that exists for us to compare against.
Total freedom to choose any reality and trust that it will manifest comes with this understanding. So through your definitions and beliefs you and only you are creating your own reality. Your wife has also decided, at some level, to experience your current reality with you, you’re in it together. You did not create her reality, she did. Therefore, you can relax on that part of your current challenge and focus on creating the version of reality that you say you now prefer.
Our present moment 'NOW' reality is not created from our past (there is no past), it’s created from our present thoughts. We move through life by perceiving our now moment, which came about through our beliefs and definitions and then we decide if that’s really what we want. If not, we adjust our now reality by thinking different thoughts and choosing different beliefs and definitions; thus our current reality is a feedback loop that reveals our thoughts, beliefs and definitions to us.
You don’t have time? You have 5 months of savings to change your reality. I’d be surprised if changing it significantly took more than 2 months. It takes approximately 40 days to change a habit. You seem to be in the habit of projecting a version of reality which you don’t prefer into your future, so changing that habit, which is a belief that’s defining how your future will pan out, is the catalyst that will cause positive change in your life.
I find the teachings of Bashar to be most helpful as they resonate most strongly with me, so maybe they will with you too. Let’s see what he says about your fear:
Always monitor your thoughts and choose to only focus on the ones which serve you. Automatically forgive yourself each time you fail to do this. Awareness of your unawareness is awareness.
Peace & Love & :-)
answered 10 Jun '11, 08:22
It sounds to me like you are not doing what you love. You need to decide, discover what drives you. We each have a common thread in our lives that shows us what we are inclined to do. For example, I am a teacher and encourager and inventor. So when I look for jobs to do, I look at ones that involve teaching and/or encouraging. I can do other things, but I don't thrive the same way. There are also counselors who usually do things like bartendending, hair and nails, and other jobs that also provides listening/counseling/talking. There are people who thrive on excitement and enjoy an adrenaline rush as often as possible. These people are emergency workers. This is a very limited example of what I mean. There are tests that you can do that help you decide what you should be doing. Or you can just search yourself, look at patterns in your life, decide what you enjoy and pursue a healthy outlet for that. Then employment will follow that. Have faith that it will.
answered 09 Jun '11, 18:40
Do not loose heart Jim; the good Lord will not give you more than you can bear, have faith, and have patience, everything in good time!
In the time of troubles, and hardship, my mother would always recite these words: “If God will provide for the Birds in the Air, he will provide for his Children.”
answered 12 Jun '11, 01:55
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