This is perhaps my biggest stumbling block. Eventhough I have fun with my visualizations or imagingations I can't but help noticing that it hasn't arrived yet or become impatent expecting each turn in my life to unveil the manifestation. How does one overcome that if at all? And I feel that is what pushes away my manifestations.

I'll just share an example with you - for years I was in love with this person (actually I loved his attributes rather than him now that I think of it), but because I was thinking of him all the time - nothing happened. Then I stopped (kind of got over him) and suddenly another person appeared on the scene who has all the attributes of the first person and then some more! By chance life started drawing ever decreasing circles around us so that we started communicating via email - my ideal man is always famous, intellectual and good looking :-) so even an email contact was quite a big thing. But then as I thought more and more of him one day he sent me a rather curt response to my mail, at first I was really depressed, then angry and then shrugged it off as just one of those days. But the point is was life bringing him closer and closer towards me and my resistance due to impatience distanced him again or was it just a test??

asked 28 Jun '11, 12:30

I%20Think%20Therefore%20I%20Am's gravatar image

I Think Therefore I Am


well by reading what you have wrote. you like is attribute but not him. what if someone liked your attribute but not you how would you feel about that? has for the second one how would you feel if some one was angry and impatient with you? is it a test you ask. each time you use your free will is it a test? think about it you will find the answer. experience and enjoy.

(25 Nov '11, 01:03) white tiger


You imply you are only doing the visualizing for the fun of it but if that's really the case, how can you be impatient and notice it isn't there yet? Isn't that contradictory?

Yes, if you keep noticing what you want hasn't come yet, you are giving attention to the absence of what you want so "The Universe" keeps manifesting perfectly the absence of it.

So you're not pushing away any manifestations, you're actually manifesting everything absolutely's just perfectly not what you really want to manifest :)

For further information on this point, see: Focus on what we want or ask for it and forget about it?

I notice that with many people there is a fear of loss of opportunity. I'm wondering if this might apply to you because of the way you spoke about this man coming closer and closer and then you missing out. It just feels like there's a bit of a scarcity attitude regarding men that fit your precise though it matters how this particular man behaved because there aren't enough like him around.

The thing is, once you are vibrationally aligned with what you want, you cannot miss it. It's impossible to miss it no matter how hard you try. Even if you tried deliberately to miss it, did everything you could physically think of to stop it coming, it would still sneak into your life somehow. Yes, really :)

You can ignore every vibrational match that the Universe gives you and you will still receive what you are after if you are aligned without resistance.

The Universe has backup plan after backup plan after backup plan so all you need to do is chill out and let it come.

So how about an alternative approach? ...a different way of looking at things...

How about just forgetting about this "ideal man" stuff completely and go live some life regardless of whether Mr Right is there or not.

And now hold within yourself the attitude that no man is good enough for you, that no matter what the Universe brings forth, you are simply not going to pay any serious attention to anyone that appears in your life unless it's absolutely, unequivocally so overpoweringly "Hell, Yeah!" that it's impossible for you to not get involved. Everyone else is just a casual, temporary interaction of some kind - whatever that means to you.

It's like holding an attitude of "Hey, if you wanna be with me, you've gotta prove you're worth it". Though you're not saying this to anyone directly, you're just feeling it within yourself - you're just expressing it vibrationally to The Universe.

In the meantime, you are just going to enjoy your life, have fun, and do everything you want to do anyway. Whatever comes your way comes but it's not going to matter to you unless you feel the "Hell, Yeah!" within yourself.

Can you see that holding this attitude instead is like holding one of abundance regarding relationships with men, rather than one of scarcity?

And if you're holding an abundant attitude like this in your everyday life, you are leaving the Universe no choice but to comply with it. You are forcing it to give you that "Hell Yeah!" relationship in order to sneak that manifestation into your life.

You see, when you let go of what you want, you're not letting go of the desire - that's not possible, because it's already created for you - you're simply letting go of the resistance which is stopping it coming.

Hope there's something here for you to think about.


answered 28 Jun '11, 16:43

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 28 Jun '11, 16:52

Thanks Stingray,you've just answered something for me to here. Truly grateful:)

(29 Jun '11, 12:22) Satori

@Stingray I did exactly what you suggested - I told myself I have a crush on this person and I would like to 'have' him just to work him out of my system but my soul mate would have to be better than this and you know what? The circles started coming closer again. Actually I had forgotten that I used to love the thrill of chase just for the heck of it - thanks for reminding me ;-)

(29 Jun '11, 19:24) I Think Therefore I Am

You're both very welcome :)

(29 Jun '11, 22:36) Stingray

Again, one of your best answers. Splendid Stingray. Much gratitude.

(01 Jul '11, 15:00) Aphrodite

This.Is.My answer. Ok, girlfriend has arrived....NEXT!

The delicate little riff-raffs of my questions have all been really jumbled. This answer is goooooooood. Um, stingray, aren't you an angel by now???

(09 Nov '11, 14:30) Nikulas

@Nikulas - Nah, would never be any good at being an angel...all that sitting around on clouds and playing harps and stuff...not really my style :)

(09 Nov '11, 23:13) Stingray

HaHaHa angel do much more then this:Worship and praise,Revealing,Guiding,Providing,Protecting,Delivering,Strengthening and encouraging,Answering prayer,Caring for believers at the moment of death.

(25 Nov '11, 00:36) white tiger
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

When you were focused on the person you were in love with, your mind filtered out anyone else whom you might have had a relationship with.

For most people, this is an issue of control. To get what they want, they try to control the people and things around them, when what they should be doing instead is being clear about what they want, grateful for what they already have, and open to exploring the opportunities around them that will help them get what they want.

Most people, however, are focused on the opposite, which is not having what they want. They get impatient because the thing that they desire has not arrived yet; they forget that it's about the journey, not the destination, that the joy and beauty is in the seeking, not the obtaining.


answered 28 Jun '11, 14:27

Vesuvius's gravatar image


very good answer vesuvius.people should be less self fish and think more of the other person. and ask them self this am i doing to that person what i would like to be done to me.

(25 Nov '11, 01:23) white tiger

With every question of yours I feel like you are asking the questions for me and not just for yourselves!!! I actually truly feel that!

Thanks for asking these questions cos I myself could have never mustered up the courage to be so frank and infact admit to myself what I am doing.. I can understand every bit of your pain.


answered 04 Aug '11, 14:29

Asha's gravatar image


Asha you have more courage than you realize, you just posted this answer! :-) Good for you and welcome to Inward Quest, I mostly answer questions and sometimes rarely ask questions my self, but there are many that just read and vote. It is always nice to see some gather up the courage to answer even to just show "I am here."

(04 Aug '11, 15:25) Wade Casaldi

The question is were you testing yourself, or is it a case of self imposed sabotage?

But to answer your posted question: absolutely yes, but the important thing here is that you were able to recognize the issue of your insisting failure of manifesting your desire appropriately, without being cognizant of your own self sabotage!


answered 03 Jul '11, 04:34

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦

yes i agree self sabotage by not doing to other what she would like to be done to her. and the test is free will.

(25 Nov '11, 01:26) white tiger

Stingrays answer is good because.....

1) It implies trust. Trust also means zero resistance. When there is doubt, like looking for your man, or your mind thinking "is HE the one?...", then this is all just subtle forms of resistance. There is a phrase a lot of people use (that I dislike because they don't really know why or how this phrase works), that goes something like "when you stop looking for something it shows up." IQ users are wise enough to understand that this just means you are going to just allow, via trust, via zero resistance. If you knew you where going to win the lottery no matter what, would you honestly be that bothered by which numbers you pick?

2) It allows for your life to expand in other areas. If the subject of a lover is such a big thing, then the best thing to do is to just 'drop it' via EFT; you aren't 'not looking for it,' you're just getting a vibrational match to other things. When you're in alignemnt, using a subject about ANYTHING, all other subjects increase their flow to you. Since most people (like myself) hold themselves in such strong wires of habitual thinking towards certain topics (like yours, romance), the most practical way to manifest this would be to focus on something that doesn't involve this subject at all.

Also remember, 99% of manifestation occurs before you physically see it. This is why a lot of IQ people are 'lost'- they think they're doing the wrong things with metaphysics, when, really, all they need to do for a manifestation to occcur is to just use objects of attention that make them feel good and persist at doing this.

If there are things in your life that you dislike, (e: no lover, abusive people), then the Budhist principle of acceptance is another way of describing the mind of allowing zero resistance; because you no longer have the conscious desire to change something, resistance disolves, and what you desire now pops up.

What can you already do in your life that is exciting right now? If you want your man to arrive, why not get happy and learn to ride a motorbike, or set the goal using manifesting experiment 3 to become an Elton John with the piano in a month...If it's fun, do it. And remember, if it's not HELL YES!! then it is a direct, in the face, Hell NO. You watch, your man will show up once your pattern of beginning to feel good comes into place.

At first, you'll have to go through the stage of 'viewing' yourslef to know where you are on the emotional guidance scale through awarness. Make the goal to not feel good, but just to consistantly be aware where you sit vibrationally.

After this becomes a subcsconious activity, then the 'trickiest' part is to find attention to good feelings. EFT and focus wheels are pretty failproof at this.


answered 25 Nov '11, 00:18

Nikulas's gravatar image


Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website



Asked: 28 Jun '11, 12:30

Seen: 1,741 times

Last updated: 25 Nov '11, 00:18

Follow this question

By Email:

Once you sign in you will be able to subscribe for any updates here



Answers and Comments

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or _italic_
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text]( "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Related Questions