The people that i have surrounded myself with all seem to treat me and see me OPPOSITE of what i am . to the point where i am questioning me?! that is not how i want to live this life , who am i truly inside

i want to feel that " strong" connection with myself. i no longer want it to be easy for others to have power to make me "unsure" of my true self. I KNOW this is blocking me from having the life for me. i feel that i am a uniqiue individual; who is kind hearted, even to the people who disrespect me, which is y they treat me the way they do ?

please help me to start somewhere positive


asked 07 Dec '11, 10:21

Diane%201's gravatar image

Diane 1

edited 07 Dec '11, 10:38

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

It can really seem like "other" people have a certain kind of power over us. Sometimes we truly feel as if it is easy for them to manipulate our actions and emotions, but this really isn't the way it works. We were not designed to live a life in this way. It usually is something that is learned at a young age, and then happens by default year after year.

We are actually the ones who give our own power away to these other people. You mentioned wanting to feel that strong connection to yourself. That is where all of your own personal power lies. It lies in your feeling place. When your are feeling good in your Now moment, everything else becomes obsolete.

Letting the other people make you feel unsure of yourself is only giving your power away to them. You need not worry about what another person or a group of other people think of you when you are in a good feeling state of mind. Find things that make you feel good and focus on the feeling you get from those thoughts. You are the only one living in your body, so why let anybody else decide what you do or how you feel.

Another way to look at the situation is to separate yourself from these people. If it has gotten to a point where you are uncomfortable around certain individuals, then it may be time to go your own way. You have to care more about how you feel then caring about pleasing others. Once you care more about how you feel, and make it a consistent everyday habit, all the other things that involve people, circumstances, and situations will be automatically worked out for you by the ever expanding universe.

You could also try a technique call EFT. It's an acupuncture tapping technique that is helpful in releasing limiting beliefs, emotional pain, physical pain, etc. This is something you may want to use to neutralize the beliefs that other people hold a certain kind of power over you. FasterEFT created by Robert Smith seems to be the easiest form of EFT and he has literally hundereds of videos on Youtube to search through.


answered 07 Dec '11, 17:51

Cory's gravatar image


A very thoughtful and helpful answer Cory.

(07 Dec '11, 18:03) Paulina 1

Thank you for asking this question! It is a good one.

I believe what everyone is sensing is that you are unsure of yourself...So you are like a feather in the wind, blowing this way and that, not anchored in yourself at all. You can start there! You may be afraid to be yourself, for fear of rejection or ridicule. But this is something you must change. You simply must! I would start by asking yourself, "Who an I? Who am I--Really? Make a list of what you are sure of about yourself. List everything you can think of about you, like this: I hate Brussels sprouts. I like cats. I am a fan of Beethoven. I adore the viola and the piano...Things like that.

Now, you can use some positive affirmations to help you grow into yourself. Make up some cards. On them, write what you want to be. Put on them sentences like these: I am a strong person. I have the right to be me. I am a nice person. People like to be around me....And so on. Then say these sayings to yourself every day- two or more times a day if it helps (which it will).

Finally, stop being afraid to be assertive. When you do not like something, say so. You have just as much right to be here as anyone else! Start small. If someone gives you something to eat that you do not like, say so. Then, when you are feeling more comfortable, you can move up to saying, "Please listen to me. I need you to hear me now."

Try these things and see if they work. I think they will help!

Blessings and Peace,



answered 07 Dec '11, 12:08

Jaianniah's gravatar image


Good and helpful answer Jai.

(07 Dec '11, 17:40) Paulina 1

Hi Diane, and welcome to inward Quest. Being a nice person doesn't have to make people walk all over you if you are nice but firm and like Jaianniah says tell when you dont agree or like something. One needs to be loving but firm and strong in ones beliefs.

I was somewhat like you myself by being too nice and trying to please everybody while not allowing my true self to shine as I didn't want to be unliked. Well that was not good for me or for others for they didnt get the chance to see the real me which was hiden behind a smile. Be jourself in whatever you do still in a nice way but let people know the real you. If you want something say so and if you dont say so too.

On the other hand we attract people that will teach us lessons in life and you still seem to be attracting thoes that will coerce you into doing things thair way. Dont, be firm and say no thank you and pretty soon you will see a diferent stronger and happier you.

Learn to say no.


answered 07 Dec '11, 17:50

Paulina%201's gravatar image

Paulina 1

well diane they are responsible of their mind speak action and so are you. maybe you do not hang out with the right people for you. or maybe you did not meet the people that can understand you. or some that are on the same level of awareness has you.if they are lower then you in some things show them by example. that they follow you or not is not your problem. experience and enjoy.


answered 07 Dec '11, 23:07

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

how you think about yoursef is often
what gets presented even if unknowingly to others,
a desire to learn of who you are ought be constant,
project to them your strenghts


answered 09 Dec '11, 00:33

fred's gravatar image


You are surrounding yourself with people based on how you think they should act. Your interpretations of people are not who they really are. This points to a disconnect with yourself. You are split between your expectations and where you fit based on others. Be selfish when you are trying to progress with your spirit. Don't worry about how others think of you. If you step on land mines, claim your mistake and move on. Your real friends will hang with you regardless. Bring that power of choice back to you where it belongs, and others will respect you more for being you.


answered 11 Dec '11, 06:15

The%20Knights%20Alchemy's gravatar image

The Knights Alchemy

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Asked: 07 Dec '11, 10:21

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Last updated: 11 Dec '11, 06:15

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