I have frequent nightmares, and have had them ever since I was raped in 2007.

I have a rape counselor, and I have gone through their award-winning program for victims of sexual assault.

Yet, I still have nightmares.

I am now terrified of being alone at night, and wake frequently.

My dreams are typical anxiety dreams; I am usually being chased by a frightening person who has a gun, and he gets closer and closer, until I wake up.

I also have dreams of intense frustration: I dream that I am injured and near death. My mother happens to be giving a party. I go to my mother, and show her my cut-off arm or whatever injury I have suffered in the dream. She tells me to go away; I am disrupting her party. I wander from person to person, and they all ignore me. I cry in my sleep; When I wake up, my pillow is soaked with tears.

I have a psychiatrist who is trying two different medications to calm my sleeping mind, but I have this feeling that this is something that goes really deep.

What do you think? Should I seek counseling for the dreams? Or should I try to ride this out?

Thanks, Jai

asked 07 Jan '10, 10:31

Jaianniah's gravatar image



I know a rhetorical question when I see one Jai. You obviously know the benefits of counseling if what you've said is true. I have NO clue anymore. You've claimed you've been in therapy off & on since your early 20's & for the last 20 yrs, fairly consistently. First I've heard about the rape in 2007 & I thought your nightmares & sleep issues started as a young child. Perhaps one of your 29 alters wrote this question.

(19 Nov '13, 03:00) ele

Well, she did ask the question almost four years ago, @ele.

(19 Nov '13, 19:11) Vesuvius

@ele- I have asked you once to stop any and all comments to my questions. You have not. Therefore, you are nothing more than a very sophisticated troll, and have picked me out because you are jealous of me. Get a life. Please read the IQ by-laws, and obey them.

@Vesuvius- Thank you for your observation. Watch out for this one - this troll will bite ... Jai ♥

(19 Nov '13, 20:50) Jaianniah

"If you find that you strongly disagree with another's viewpoint, it is up to you to express your own viewpoint more eloquently and persuasively than the other person. If instead you resort to confrontation and verbal violence towards others, we will suspend your account without further warning. We don't care what your viewpoint is (everyone's point of view is welcome here) but we do care how you say it. Disruptive behaviour is of no value to anyone here and simply suggests to us that you've ...

(19 Nov '13, 21:27) ele

you've ... run out of anything worthwhile to say. @Jai calling me a jealous sophisticated troll is a personal attack as well as verbal abuse. Telling another member to watch out for me because I'm a troll who bites is another example of a personal attack as well as flaming. This is a Q & A forum. You have NO right to order or tell anyone they cannot answer or comment on one of your Q's or A's & this is NOT the 1st time you have done this. Please stop bullying me - thank you.

(19 Nov '13, 21:41) ele

@jai Name calling & insults are totally uncalled for & I think you owe me an apology. I would like to respond to the the comment you made to me on the Holy thread which you edited. You deleted the reference to Wade. Please let me assure you once & for all - I AM NOT INTERESTED IN WADE - not in the least. Please stop worrying about this -- it's your imagination, dear - nothing more. @Vesuvius ok -- fair enough. I'll try again when I have more time.

(19 Nov '13, 21:46) ele

@ele you obviously don't know a rhetorical question when you see one. You don't know Jai at all. Your response to her disgust me. I don't understand why you keep attacking her. I guess you'll have to experience her pains in through Karma.

(19 Nov '13, 22:29) Wade Casaldi

@ele I feel there is something in your life bothering and upsetting you that you decided to take out on Jai. It is something that needs healing within you. Go within and find why you feel justified in the provocation of Jai to impell a response that emerges from the pain of what you choose to write her. Find that within and identify with it so you can heal it and stop writing to cause pain, instead write to heal pain.

(20 Nov '13, 00:35) Wade Casaldi

Wait I'm lost here. Is this a real event(the statements in the question)? or just made up?

(20 Nov '13, 02:04) ursixx

@ursixx This is all 100% real. I ought to know, I live with her everyday.

(20 Nov '13, 11:22) Wade Casaldi

@ursixx Good ? & I was wondering the same. If I said what you just said to Jai, the reaction would be much different. Jai would claim I personally attacked her. Wade would rush in, pass judgment & strike out with a verbal lashing. @Wade Just because you live with someone does NOT mean you know. Jai has stated numerous times she is mentally ill. She also stated she suffered from schizoid personality disorder, DID & has a mental disability. Her reality is subject to ? & memories could be false

(20 Nov '13, 12:55) ele

I don't know what Jai has done to deserve this from you @ele - it does seem .... unnecessary.

(20 Nov '13, 12:57) Catherine

@Catherine I've finally come to the stark realization that Jai does NOT want to change. The reason most ppl do NOT heal is because they don't want to. The simple fact or reason being is because they are getting something out of it. This is a well known & recognized concept among mental health professionals & spiritual teachers. I'm NOT going to feed her addiction to drama & attention anymore. She is not going to manipulate me by playing the victim or shaming or blaming me ...

(20 Nov '13, 13:10) ele

me ... into compliance. I'm actually trying to help her.What are you doing Catherine? Haven't you noticed the regulars were not responding to her cries for attention anymore. Why do you think this is? New members & ppl who have never posted before or since responded.

(20 Nov '13, 13:19) ele

@ele your constant attacks on Jai, trying to ruin her are enough. I'm going to Meta IQ to complain.

(20 Nov '13, 13:56) Wade Casaldi

@ele Just saying my piece ele. Maybe my comment doesn't help Jai but then again maybe it does. Mental health professionals have their opinions - good for them.

(20 Nov '13, 14:10) Catherine

This concept is far from new. Not just medical professionals @Catherine. Caroline Myss, medical intuitive, spiritual teacher & author explains this concept in her book & dvd presentation "Why people don't heal & how they can". The vintage audio cassette is worth its weight in gold. She terms it woundology. Ppl who do not heal are choosing not to & use their 'wounds' (illness or victim status) as a type of currency or leverage to gain power over others. They constantly remind (A)

(20 Nov '13, 15:16) ele

(B) ppl of their 'injuries' to gain attention & as a way of controlling others. Ppl do not heal because they are getting something out of it


Please read the reviews for the book at Amazon & ck out the DVD too



(20 Nov '13, 15:20) ele

(C) Here's a you tube link -- it does NOT compare to the audio tape which I can not say enough about; but its worth a listen.
. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kGZfZsTYgo

I know someone else who claims the seminar by Caroline Myss & Wayne Dyer saved their life.


(20 Nov '13, 15:21) ele

@Wade This is the cassette I told you about last year. I didn't push it because Jai said she knew the difference between a spiritual crisis and a psychological issue & she said she was not suffering from a spiritual crisis.

(20 Nov '13, 15:22) ele
showing 0 of 20 show 20 more comments

My last gf I was with about year ago was raped as well. Multiples times. My mother also was too, but my past gf took the cake of some of the most Stephen King ### I have ever heard.

It was really tough because she would have the same things you would describe. She couldn't sleep every other night and would toss and turn and sometimes just wake up crying. It was pretty horrible to witness. I wanted nothing more in the world, but to help her and make it go all away.

Part of what made it so bad with what she went through at the time was that no one believed her and no one did anything about it. Not even the cops. I recognized that part just the same with you with how your consciousness was projecting the dream from your true feelings.

You being seriously injured with the arm cut off and the people that mattered and were close to you ignoring you IS a pretty obvious translation of your consciousness replaying that out again, but with different props.

I know this was a post from a really long time ago, but I figured I would still add in my input anywho. I strongly feel that it is important that you or even someone else who had this same type of experience reading this realize that you never deserved this, and that it is not your fault that it happened. That is step one. You will constantly go back to those memories and re-experience them if you cannot get past that first step.

You do not need to wait for those people involved in the incident to come back and apologize or have yourself understand the whole story of why they did or why it happened the way it did. Their apologies and explanation are typically not the missing pieces of yourself that you assume you would get back from them and fill in those voids they made within you is what I have witnessed.

I'd also like to add in,

This is hard for me to word, but pretending we took a time machine back to a year ago of the girl I am talking about in this story,

Even though it was a harsh and horrible set of experiences, I could still see that there were parts of her that actually believed some of the horrible ways they made her feel about her herself were possibly true deep down at times. I feel that this is where the nightmares come in and actually play out how she truly felt about herself, even though she didn't realize it about herself.

So basically what I am trying to say with all of this, is a part of you still doesn't feel your worth it, your loved, your undeserving of this tragedy, you were telling the truth. A part of you actually still buys into the b u ll #### of what they made you feel about yourself, WHICH IS TOTALLY AND ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE EVER EVER!!! REMEMBER THAT!! PLEASE!!!!


answered 20 Nov '13, 00:42

ikaruss21's gravatar image


edited 20 Nov '13, 01:15


You understand. Yes we both know about trying to calm and heal the one we love after these nightmares. She is doing better now but still has episodes from time to time. Progress and healing a little at a time, the power of love is amazing.

I gave you 100 points, maybe Jai could switch and give you best answer. I don't know if you could change once you pick, but I'd say yours is best. You understand her. Thank you....

(20 Nov '13, 01:42) Wade Casaldi

Well done! You know just how I feel...and your sympathy and understanding are greatly appreciated. The nightmares have lessened...thanks to Wade. I also took a drug called prasosin- they give it to Vets with PTSD, and it really calms those nightmares. Things are better with me all around. What I went thru as a child was the stuff of hellish nightmares. When you spend a night in a coffin with a dead body, it does things to you. You never quite recover. Thank you so much. ♥♥♥♥

(20 Nov '13, 02:18) Jaianniah

I join Wade and give you 100 points also-your post took a long time and means a lot to me. Hang in there- you have a great heart, and ought to do well here. Post more! Blessings, Jai ♥

(20 Nov '13, 02:23) Jaianniah

"When you spend a night in a coffin with a dead body" That's a great example of what I was referring to. If that actually happened, it happened 50 yrs ago. You can't let your story die. Make sure you remind ppl of your wounds & make sure ALL new members know your story. Most ppl would never dare say anything to you because you suffered enough & that is what you are counting on & how you manipulate ppl & gain sympathy. It could also be a great ruse to illicit money. Someone tells a ...

(20 Nov '13, 15:40) ele

...hard luck story on a national forum like IQ - ask for prayers & perhaps some kind hearted person chooses to send this person a check. Easy for someone to do ...

(20 Nov '13, 15:44) ele

Im really happy that my input helps. Thank you for the points as well. It makes very happy to hear you guys say that it has such a positive affect on you.

I think though with what ele was saying for this particular subject, I can understand the positive intent, but I don't think it would be a good idea for Jaianniah to ressurrect this life event to everyone else in the sake of spreading awareness as I can't see how that would help her, when this is about her healing and seperating from it.

(20 Nov '13, 18:42) ikaruss21

This post really hits close home to me, as in my life I have had a lot of people very close to me go through things like this and spent so long after that point in their lives it happened struggling to free themselves from it.

I have never been raped, but had the very beginning of my childhood up unto my twenties riddled with more of the supernatural interactions with demons and was constantly tortured from it and felt trapped, but the most hardest thing for me to free myself from all of it was

(20 Nov '13, 18:54) ikaruss21

how no one believed me and thought I was making it all up. It made me angry for so long and also made me feel like maybe I deserved on this some level, or that this was a karma serving somehow.

I think it is super important to let it go. And once you do let it go, not let it be part of your life anymore. Such as getting yourself into topics that talk about it and bring you back into that experience again. Nothing good can come out of that, you worked so hard to evolve yourself out of it.

(20 Nov '13, 18:59) ikaruss21

I am guilty of doing that I must admit. I got to the point where I hated God, hated everything, because I felt so undeserving of life and love, and felt that people couldnt understand me and no one could help me.

I guess what I am trying to say here is that it's important to not let yourself slip back into these things that made the particular past intense event that you had grown from real again, because you go back to being that person again and undo the person who you are now.

(20 Nov '13, 19:04) ikaruss21

The collision of our egos, clears the way for our souls...

(20 Nov '13, 20:54) Roy

@Roy . have you been talking to @fred . ;-)

(23 Nov '13, 11:04) ursixx
showing 2 of 11 show 9 more comments

I wouldn't presume that I am qualified to answer this. But I would never tell anyone that it's inappropriate to find help if they think they need it.

I would suggest that you try to find someone who specializes in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.


answered 07 Jan '10, 16:06

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 07 Jan '10, 17:13

I agree completely @Vesuvius. It is always appropriate to seek help when you truly need it, and I believe Jai does want help. She does want to get better and is trying everything she can think of.

(26 Nov '13, 17:53) No Brainer

I answered this here about TFT, EFT and TAT for trauma. I do believe one of the things you can do is accept that it is okay to feel this way, you have a right to feel this way, so don't fight that but accept that. Don't say for example I should be over this by now, like there is something wrong with you, say I have a right to feel this way, I accept that I feel this way, it is okay if I feel this way, this is natural to feel this way.

This acceptance is a first step to recovery.


answered 08 Jan '10, 20:18

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

wonderfully jaded answer...

(19 Nov '13, 17:44) Roy

Points up, @Wade Casaldi, you are a good man - she does have a right to feel this way. Accept that and then see what is next in the healing.

(26 Nov '13, 17:51) No Brainer

"What do you think? Should I seek counseling for the dreams? Or should I try to ride this out?"

Dreams are non-physical, they are astral space..

Here I'm going to tell you a SECRET..

You may not want to hear it.. but I'm going to be straight with you..


Let me give you a example.. your a baby.. and someone took your lollypop away.. that's your entire RAPE SPIEL in a nutshell.. your so busy crying for your lollypop.. you really can't live your life, or have fun, or love yourself or even let go.

So I have to tell you baby.. stop crying over spilled milk. Let go of this experience, love yourself.. and if you continue to have problems. Go heal in any form you can listen to beethoven (this is a bashar permission slip to heal) http://youtu.be/9AjFN4uD3h4 see a professional healer, practice healing tools and techniques there are billions.. and if you do all that baby.. you will be done with spilled milk.. and a NEW sucker will manifest in your hand.. and love joy can then flood your life because you've taken your attention off your owie/your pour me

And then the love can come in.. it's my suggestion.. "misery is optional" you don't have to choose or create that is your choice creator god :)

Also I want to be clear.. "a counselor" can be a excuse/permission slip to heal but there are easier cheaper and even sometimes LESS painful methods :)


answered 26 Nov '13, 18:23

themaster's gravatar image


edited 27 Nov '13, 16:23

My dear @Jaianniah. I just noticed this post for the first time! So sorry. Yes, if you can, seek counseling. I know that you want to improve, to get this off your mind. I have never had anything like this happen to me so I can only barely imagine what you must have gone through and are still going through.

But I do believe in therapy, especially group.

I have not really interacted with you before, but @Dollar Bill speaks highly of you. You and he have a mutual friend, BW. He knows some of your heartaches.

Know that we care and are praying for peace for both you and Wade.


answered 26 Nov '13, 17:49

No%20Brainer's gravatar image

No Brainer

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Asked: 07 Jan '10, 10:31

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Last updated: 27 Nov '13, 16:23

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