Regarding this topic there are two major groups of people that I encounter regularly:
the first are people who are severely concerned with what others think and feeling accepted by as many people as possible.
the second are people who claim to not care what others think (the "I don't give a damn about anything" stereotype) when in reality they are even more insecure than the people who are openly seeking acceptance.
I'm of the mind to not be bothered by trivial events, and there is an extremely short list of things I don't qualify as "trivial". Whether or not people who will likely play a very short role in my existence approve of my decisions or opinions is definitely not high on the importance list.
Of course because I live by the third option I feel it is the most suitable for me and my life, and it works quite well for me I think. But I wonder, does it/would it work for everyone?
[This question is specifically aimed from a cultural point of view, such as being accepted by social groups, friends, family, etc. Even searching for acceptance from members here would be an example.]
Just for now: look at life from the perspective that there's only you in your Universe. And see everyone in your Universe as an aspect of you. And realize therefore, that everyone in your Universe is a mirror who's showing you, by reflecting back to you, who you are being in every moment.
Understand: that the Universe, your personal reality, has no way of lying because it's merely a reflection of who you're being.
Realize: therefore, that in order to change the reflection you're getting in your life in every moment, you must first change.
You made a good observation: about the people in the two groups you mention; both groups are seeking for something outside of themselves due to insecurity.
However: in a Universe which contains only you and reflections or aspects of you, what does that tell you about the people within your Universe?
Obviously: it tells you, by showing you, that these ideas and expressions are contained within you, within your way of thinking.
Knowing: that there’s only you in your world, you know that holding the above attitude and viewpoint, will serve to net you the experience of seeing and meeting people with the same or similar attitudes and viewpoints. Do you want to live in a world of indifference?
Rather: than advise you on what to think or how to feel, I’ll offer you a quote that’s helped me to cut through a lot of the chaff inherent in interacting with others:
Yes indeed: and over time, your world will be full of people who resonate with you and all others will fall away and will no longer materialize in your world, they’ll be invisible to you.
Remember: that ultimately, your world, your reality, your Uni-Verse consists of you and aspects of you and you get to choose which kinds of aspects show up within it. Do you prefer a lot of noise or do you prefer the sound of a harmonious One-Song? 8-)
answered 08 Feb '12, 23:49
I can sense when people do not really care about me or my opinion. I know it by their body language and eye contact. I find these people hard to understand and hard to really engage. No one likes to feel that they are being dismissed as not being of great, long-term importance to anyone they encounter, whether it be a cashier at a drug store, or my own dear Mother.
Part of being truly caring is to go out of the door with the attitude that everyone we encounter matters in some way, whether great or small. All people should and do matter. "No man (or woman) is an island". We are an interconnected community world-wide, and now we are seeing just how much the attitude that one person has can affect a community, small or large.
Perhaps you are taking how people care about you personally, and have been hurt. This is a separate issue. Even being hurt by others, or risking being hurt, is part of being human. It is part of being a loving being. I guess I would want people to consider me to be a loving person. It is not that I care so much about their opinion as that I care about my community, and the positive role I may play there. That is what counts!
We are all "imperfectly perfect". I would have to say that perhaps you should consider whether your feelings about others matter as much as your impact on the world.
With Peace and Love,
answered 08 Feb '12, 17:34
Acceptance is important, example you are applying for a college and this could impact your whole life. Your entire future rides on if you are accepted or not into that college.
You have to get on a list for a kidney transplant your condition is evaluated along with your ability to pay these determine if you are accepted or rejected. Of course you are not told you are rejected, you are just told not yet.
You are applying for a loan to build a business, it really matters whether you are accepted or rejected.
You want to join the Army and have to pass the exams this determines if you are cut out for the Army so you are either accepted or rejected.
Now the bad news, if we go into the situation worrying about whether we will be accepted or rejected, we are expecting rejection. As we expect rejection we are setting ourselves up in essence preparing to be rejected. So we experience the worry then the disappointment afterwards then we experience the reward of knowing we were right, "I knew they would reject me!"
Now if we just know we will be accepted, we have met all the requirements jumped through all of the hoops and just know we were really ready for this it is ours! Then afterwards we experience the joy of acceptance! After that the joy of knowing we were right, "I knew I would make it!"
The acceptance or rejection that starts in what we are expecting to experience. Do we believe in ourselves? Are we self conscious and feel inadequate? This influences what we are expecting.
There is a story in Spiritual Marketing that Joe Vitale says about himself. One day he got a letter saying that basically the guy was unsatisfied and wanted to find someone else to handle his contract. Joe was very upset and went to his friend Johnathan, Johnathan said to Joe how do you feel about your ability to handle this contract. Joe said, "Well to tell the truth this is a much bigger contract than I ever had. I am not sure I can deliver on it." Johnathan said, "Ahhaa there it is!" Joe said, "There what is?" Johnathan said, "When we don't believe in ourselves, others pick up on that and mirror that back to us." Joe understood than was cleared to believe in himself. Right after that he received a phone call that said, "Joe you are the right one for this job, I am sorry I was too hasty I trust you to do a great job!" Once Joe realized what he was expecting because he was expecting little of himself that belief fell away clearing the way for him to expect better.
if you are true to your self you do not need acceptance from the society. the society need acceptance from you. you do not accept this? if you do not accept this look at society right( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGvOPeKoh3w&feature=related ) now do you see things that are wrong? do you want to be part of this? you have free will be true to your self.
answered 08 Feb '12, 23:56
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