Why do I think so negatively about my husband, knowing that he is not doing anything wrong? It really bugs me. It disturbs my peace of mind.

I don't know why? Help.

asked 03 Mar '10, 14:16

tania%20tellez's gravatar image

tania tellez
412

edited 03 Mar '10, 15:11

Vesuvius's gravatar image

Vesuvius
32.0k429180


If you always focus on the negative things about your husband, that is all you will see. Also, by thinking negatively about your husband, you influence his behavior negatively; he will do things and say things that meet your expectations.

Instead, focus on the good things about your husband. What are the things that you like about him? What are the qualities you appreciate in him? Remember the reasons you married him? They are still there.

I'm going to give you some exercises. These come from Anthony Robbins' Personal Power series. You need three 3x5 cards to do this properly.

Think of six things about your husband that you love him for, and you feel are the most strongly positive qualities about him, write them down on a 3x5 card, and put them on your nightstand.

On the second 3x5 card, write the following questions. When you get up first thing in the morning, ask yourself these questions, and contemplate each one. How do they make you feel?:

  1. What am I happy about in my life now?
  2. What am I excited about in my life now?
  3. What am I proud about in my life now?
  4. What am I grateful about in my life now?
  5. What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
  6. What am I committed to in my life right now?
  7. Who do I love? Who loves me?

On the third 3x5 card, write down the following questions. Each morning, ask yourself these 5 questions:

  1. What is great about this problem?
  2. What is not perfect yet?
  3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?
  4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?
  5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

Finally, take the 3x5 card with your husband's good qualities, and dwell on that for a few minutes. The entire exercise should take about 5 to 10 minutes. It is important to spend a moment with each question, and take in the essence of how that question feels to you. You should feel invigorated afterwards.

Now you can go on with your day. I encourage you to try this out for 30 days every morning just before you start your day, and see what happens.

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answered 03 Mar '10, 14:36

Vesuvius's gravatar image

Vesuvius
32.0k429180

edited 03 Mar '10, 14:42

Make sure you check in here in 30 days, and tell us how things are going. :)

(03 Mar '10, 15:13) Vesuvius

I AM SO GREATFUL THAT U GAVE ME THIS EXCERCISE I LOVE THE SECRET AND I STARTED READING THE MASTER KEY SYSTEM I GET EVERYTHING I WANT THATS THE ONLY THING I HAVENT MASTERED BUT I AM READY TO RECEIVE AND GET IT DONE WITH THANKS ALOT!!!!!!!!!1

(03 Mar '10, 15:40) tania tellez

Maybe you married out of NEED rather than LOVE ?

If your husband has done nothing wrong then I suggest you give him a break and make sure that he has peace of mind too.

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answered 03 Mar '10, 23:09

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦
259110135

They say we are the hardest on those who are closest to us. I have read many explanations for that, such as that we truly consider those closest to us as extensions of ourselves, or that "familiarity breeds contempt".

Whatever the reason, we are sometimes more polite and kind to complete strangers than we are to those we live with. With those we are close to, we are not afraid to display our jealousies, inadequacies, lack of tact, and other darker sides of our personalities. We sometimes resent those around us, who are also not perfect.

You can catch yourself when you are thinking the worst, and replace those thoughts with pleasant, loving, appreciative ones. It may be tedious at first, but you really can change your thinking and get out of this negative habit. And it may just be a habit that has been built upon over and over.

Let us know how it's going and best wishes!

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answered 04 Mar '10, 00:51

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1
16.7k1517

going to try this :)

(09 Feb '11, 11:34) realityVSimagination

I think you need to get some goals to focus on and let go of these thoughts.Maybe you may have been influenced by some past events or by something some one said in a conversation and you took it on subconciously.

Find some thing to do ,and put your thoughts into it.I normally focus on the positive about the other person and deal with anything that comes up when it comes up.

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answered 05 Mar '10, 04:29

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Paul 1
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Asked: 03 Mar '10, 14:16

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Last updated: 05 Mar '10, 04:29








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