I ask this question because I still cannot understand how I find myself in a situation that I know I did not consciously create. In one overnight my relationship with my spouse was over (He did not die) and I never even had the chance to ask him what happened or why? as he has cut off all communication with me. I know that I did not create this consciously. So who did?

asked 10 Mar '10, 22:32

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Drham
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edited 11 Mar '10, 06:46

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Stingray
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You didn't give him/her what they wanted.

Now I am NOT saying that this is right, fair or decent. It undoubtedly sucks, from your point of view. But your partner had the freedom to choose, just as you have the freedom to choose. Doesn't make your partner any less of a creep, if that's what he/she is.

It might, however, be useful to ask yourself what it is about you that attracted a person that was eventually going to leave. Maybe the answer is nothing. But I do wonder why your partner thought it was OK to leave without explaining why.

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answered 10 Mar '10, 23:20

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Vesuvius
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edited 10 Mar '10, 23:26

I've been looking at the way you phrased your question "Do we create our reality consciously as well as unconsciously?" and have been wondering if you used that terminology because of something I wrote yesterday.

I was a bit sloppy in that answer (written in a rush!) when I used the word unconsciously.

You cannot create anything unconsciously ever...but you can create without conscious awareness that you are doing so, which is the phrasing I should have used.

Every time you project a thought that has the power to create something of significance in your reality, it will always be accompanied by an emotional reaction. This emotion is always there if you look for it.

But there is a trap that people fall into with this and I think it is responsible for most, if not all, of the things that people attract that they don't want.

Consider the situation when you buy a new pair of fashionable shoes. You might buy them for the look of them rather than the comfort of them. And so, at the start of the day they might feel painful to wear but, by the end of the day, you might not notice the pain any more because you have become used to the pain.

The same situation can apply with a thought that has generated a negative emotion. Initially, you feel the pain of it but, over a period of time, if you are unaware of what the emotional communication represents, you become used to thinking that thought and even though the pain of the thought still exists, you now no longer realize the sharpness of that pain.

One way to avoid falling into that trap is with daily meditation or deliberate daily appreciation. Doing this gives you a taste once again of what pain-free feels like (in relation to your thoughts) and those painful thoughts that you have become used to, now stand out clearly.

So how does this apply to your situation?

Well, I would ask you to consider whether you were really happy and joyful in your relationship right to the end of it, and then suddenly (apparently from nowhere), you were left in unhappiness.

Or do you think there were emotional indicators along the path to where you now are that perhaps you may have gradually acclimatized to and perhaps have disregarded?

I say this because in all the extreme situations I have been in (and I have been in quite a few!), none of them ever came from nowhere...there were always emotional indicators that I had ignored.

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answered 11 Mar '10, 06:43

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Stingray
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edited 11 Mar '10, 07:58

What a tragic thought, that we all live with some degree of constant pain that we have acclimated to. Unfortunately, it is probably true.

(11 Mar '10, 15:04) Vesuvius

Drham, you are suffering because your loved one abandoned you and will not speak to you. It seems to me that you are trying to understand in what way you are responsible for what happened. As you get to know me, you will find that I have trouble believing that we create these situations somehow. What is worse is being told that you are responsible for another person's behavior.

If we look at what happened, we must first look at the history between you and your loved one. Stingray has said, "Well, I would ask you to consider whether you were really happy and joyful in your relationship right to the end of it, and then suddenly (apparently from nowhere), you were left in unhappiness.

"Or do you think there were emotional indicators along the path to where you now are that perhaps you may have gradually acclimatized to and perhaps have disregarded?

"I say this because in all the extreme situations I have been in (and I have been in quite a few!), none of them ever came from nowhere...there were always emotional indicators that I had ignored."

These are good points. This is a logical way to think. There had to be something happening in your relationship that was "off". But saying this does not make you responsible for the way your loved one left you. S/he left very meanly (in my opinion). It would have been nice if s/he had sat down with you and told you what was happening, and why.

Your subconscious is only responsible for helping you pick up the hints of unhappiness coming from your partner. It did not "create" this situation.

This is what I believe. You have my support and prayers as you work your way through this.

Many blessings, Jai

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answered 11 Mar '10, 08:49

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Jaianniah
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Asked: 10 Mar '10, 22:32

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