I am fairly new to meditation and have had times when I have meditated that I find tears streaming down my face, and I can't find a reason why that makes sense, apart from one possible one. To get to it I have to go right back to my childhood:
I used to sing in the school choir, and loved singing Christmas carols. I also had a very religious Godmother who made us go to church once a week, though she went every day. One day when I was 11 I observed some behavior by some parishoners at the church I attended that made me see the hypocrisy of many people who go to church. They had not even left the premises before they started their malicious gossiping about someone ahead of them. As an impressionable child I was horrified and decided that I couldn't go to church anymore if it meant so little, and that I would find my own way.
I love Christmas, and since then there have been many times over the years thatI have started singing Christmas carols and got choked up, so I couldn't give my voice to them fully. When I have tried to find an answer inside myself as to why I got so choked, and why I have had tears running down myself when I have been meditating sometimes, the only answer that I can think of is that it is something to do with some feeling of loss or separation from God, or maybe even relief to be rejoining. I can't find a satisfactory answer though.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does anyone have any ideas as to what is behind it?
This goes very deep and is a very hard thing for me to share, but I really want to see if I can resolve it.
Rebecca, singing and meditation are very powerful emotional triggers because they tap into the deepest matters of the heart and mind, or may I say soul. They are, in a real sense, cathartic mechanisms that release the emotions that are attached to significant issues in our lives. I think you've already hit the nail on the head with the background of your question. You've experienced both loss and disillusionment. As an impressionable girl of eleven, who should have been able to look up to adults (especially religious adults) as role models, they showed you the harsh reality of the human condition. We are imperfect. We make mistakes. We do not always treat others as we should. But as life went on, you learned through your own mistakes, faux paus, and deliberate meanness, that you are still essentially a good person inside, despite all of the negatives.
The tears, I believe, are a cleansing for you. An acceptance of people's faults as a part of human nature, but a recognition that we can love them anyway. And I do believe there is a deeper issue you have touched upon--the separation from God. If the human soul was meant to have union and communion with God, if we have experienced any of that "belongingness", then any separation by our choice is bound to impact us emotionally. Your efforts through meditation and the memories and feelings that are stirred by Christmas carols and other songs, have the effect of restoring something that was lost.
I know that in my personal life, I am most deeply impacted by scenarios in movies or on television that portray reconciliation betweeen separated family members and loved ones; and yes, it sometimes makes me cry like a baby.
answered 14 Oct '09, 08:01
When be begin to go within to seek answers, past experiences that have been buried or even forgotten come to the surface. The re-surfacing of these past events are triggered by our longing for answers. When we can't figure out a way to deal with our emotions during stressful events our subconscious steps in to protect us.
Your subconscious kept these events hidden from you until you were ready to deal with your unprocessed emotions. Now that you are searching for answers to questions you have about your life, your subconscious feels that it is time to process the emotions and that it is safe to reveal what was once buried.
Continue meditating through the tears, re-live all of the events that come to mind... Only this time remain conscious of all the emotions that are going on inside of you... Do not allow your subconscious to change the subject (re-bury the emotions)... Don't be surprised if other emotions pop up. Re-living these events may trigger other things from your past that have been buried as well.
After you're done, you'll feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Remember life is a journey, you may not get it all out the first or the second or third time for that matter... Persistence pays...
You're well on your way to a better you!
answered 09 Oct '09, 23:29
Rebecca your body has the answer like your mind does. I heard of an lady her name is Janet Cook and she is on you tube. She practices The Rubebfeld Synnery Method. Her e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org and her web site is www.body.bodywhispere1.com
She says our body holds all of our history in our cells and that we have to listen to our body and hear what it is saying to us. She is very good. She has an office and maybe going to see her will really help you it is worth a try. She is real nice too and it took her years to be able to do her work in her office. If I have typed something wrong and you can't get her let me know. Hope this helps.
answered 10 Oct '09, 08:11
When it comes to music I can be a 'cry baby'. There is a lady online that has a method for curing people that involves recording the patient's voice an sending back a cd with sounds to readjust the person.
Like you, I love Christmas carols. It is music that unites hearts and brings joy to mine.
answered 11 Oct '09, 17:06
rebecca your heart is in the right place but it is not solve with your mind and it is still bugging you. all that is true it might not have meant alot to those hypocrites but it meant alot to you. and you still are trying to find the way to god. i would suggest that you meditate and solve those veils of the mind. be still and calm and know that i am. experience and enjoy.
answered 11 Jan '12, 16:29
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