Have you ever had the feeling that you need a change in your life?

A change of environment. job? relationships? ect...

Where dis this feeling come from? how should I act upon it?

asked 25 Mar '10, 19:45

Chris%202's gravatar image

Chris 2

Chris, you are now very frustrated (your assertion). This state isn't a good counsellor.

But you aren't only frustrated. You are now more: unhappy (my supposition). It appears you lost what was the first priority of the last time. Your actual feelings are understandable, It happens frequently, but this is a weak consolation. What pains you so overwhelmingly, is "THE LOSS OF MY LOVE". And you experience this happening like a drama, amplifyed at a universal scale, but referring strictly to your individual life.

This is a very tight and rigid viewpoint caused by the limiting effect of strong negative feelings.

What shows a word-by-word analyze of "THE LOSS OF MY LOVE"?

"THE LOSS OF MY LOVE". "MY" is a possessive adjective; it can show a relationship (my friend, my boss, my mother, my country, my God, my wife/husband), or a true possession of one by another, into an owner-owned relation (my foot, my car, my garden, my dog, my apple, my business and the wrongly conceptualized my wife/husband). Nobody can own another human being, even God respects the freewill which he places in our souls and helps us learn the correct exercise of our freewill, waiting our co-creation. As well as, nobody might submit oneself to another by their own will, without producing suffering to oneself and to the other; such a relationship, even if is correlated with the name love, won't give happiness to either partner, or will not survive too much. When the love is over, the loss of ownership and it's benefits bring the most frustrations. If one partner hadn't truly loved, he/she was deceived that the feelings are love, then the other has lost nothing, except their own illusion to be loved and some "linear" time to be happy. Think about and answer for yourself.

"THE LOSS OF MY LOVE". The LOVE is a very comprehensive effective structure of living, constituting the sensitive and subjective component of reciprocal relation between an individual and the universe. I won't give an exhaustive analysis of the LOVE concept. For use in this topic, I will only make some mention:

  1. LOVE is composed by a "family" of feelings: sympathy, empathy, compassion, gratitude, altruism, loyalty,devotion even to self-sacrifice, disponibility for tolerance and confidence, and others. Love is a harmonized complex of these components. Yes, harmonized, constituting a congruent flow, or how we name "aligned".

  2. The source of LOVE is a native individual spring, resulting by our Divine Nature (God created the Universe and all the beings by manifesting His Love for creating and for the results of His Creation). Don't need learning to love, and it cannot be learned but only felt. Only the expression of flowing love can be learned and controlled. But, if the love is genuine and spontaneous, the hate is only learned by experiencing aggression and by social models. We are born with the spring of love and without knowing hate. See the little children! They love spontaneously the flowers, the animals, the insects, all the humans, are confident and smile to anybody. They love the water , the sky and the sun, but also the mud,,,

  3. LOVE has levels of comprehension area by its vibrational frequency. Inspired by the frequency of visible light and the colours of chakras, I conceived a RAINBOW OF LOVE:

RED: Love between life partner and Parents-children, where the physical body is specifically implied.

ORANGE: Love within the members of a less or more limited community: family, friends, work colleagues, professional profile, town, country, religion, etc.

YELLOW: Love for humanity universally and individually.

GREEN: Love for Earth, Nature, plants, animals and all living beings.

BLUE: Love for the sky, Universe, ETs,

INDIGO (DARK BLUE): Love for spiritual beings.

VIOLET: Love for God

It is intresting that our big problems referring to LOVE, are preferentially concentrated to the levels where sender and destination are the humans (the first three levels) and the last level, where the God image is "remaked" and transformed again and again along the milleniums, especially AD. The implication of human mind into this "masterpiece" doesn't need comments.

"THE LOSS OF MY LOVE". The LOVE doesn't appear and disappear to command, it cannot be interdicted and cannot be imposed. The LOVE is beyond the power of mind; this is why affirmations or denial of your feelings won't will help you too much. The mind can control only the expression of love. You didn't lose your love, you lost the presence near you of the "object" of your love. You could preserve this love indefinitely if you feel the "object" of your feelings desserve this. After a time, when the pain will decrease, you can live normally, IF YOU WANT. But don't break the old true love, which will watch over your life and happiness, like the glimpse of a remote star.About the separation, decided by your lost partner, there are some different possibilities. Maybe she loves you toward, but for some reason appreciated that it's better for one of you, or for both, to not live together. Then, this is a sacrifice. Not very often, this kind reason for separateness exists truly and sometimes remaids a secret for all the life. Remember the well-known epistle from "Traviata" opera: "When you will receive this letter, I will be within the arms of other". it don't was true, but a pretext to free her lover. If she went off because her love ended, or she discovered that this relation was a mistake from her viewpoint, than it's better to p separate earlier than later. And don't worry" what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

How to re-balance your self?

Evaluate again the story; preserve for your soul what was beautiful, your keepsakes are irreiterable; forgive the attitudes which cause you hatred; learn from your own mistakes; and - very important - be grateful for meeting this great love, not everybody receives this gift, there are so many gray lives. Surely you had some attachments, if not an addiction to this woman. Liberate from (EFT technique?) and let them go in the flow of life.

Take an analysis of your dreams BEFORE you were in love. Find out what you wanted to be and to do with your life. Make them real again and, using smartly and effective, the Law of Attraction and preparing yourself intensively for acting, experience the reality-creation for new goals.

Be open for a new romantic love or, (who knows?), for a revival of your old love. It is essential not to lose hope to reach fullfillment and happiness. Remember, you deserve them.


answered 26 Mar '10, 22:21

Gleam's gravatar image


edited 12 Aug '10, 10:25

What a well thought out,beautiful answer - I edited as best I could, hopefully without losing any of the beautiful content.

(27 Mar '10, 00:30) Michaela

Thank you, Michaela, your appreciation. I very worth it.

(27 Mar '10, 01:01) Gleam

Your Love analogy is beautiful, Gleam, now I know why I see the colours I do. :)

(27 Mar '10, 12:58) Roy

Very nice, Gleam!

(27 Mar '10, 15:09) LeeAnn 1

Thank you, leeAnn and Roy

(27 Mar '10, 18:23) Gleam
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

As a first step I suggest that you figure out what it is you do want. Change is a constant thing. I think the question might be, 'How do you want to change?'. Write it down and proceed to change a few of your daily habits. Also, offering heart felt appreciation for the things you do like acts as a catalyst to bring forth more things you like. Peace


answered 25 Mar '10, 20:58

Brian's gravatar image


My advice is to start by doing things that make you happy, Chris. See the type of movies that you like to watch, cook the foods that you enjoy, purchase things you like the looks of, and go places that make you happy. Get to know yourself again, and take delight in your preferences. As you begin to feel more happy and fulfilled, your direction may become more clear. It's probably hard to see ahead when you are still in pain, and I think the key may be to feeling good again and getting back into the flow of a satisfying life. From there, more good, of all kinds, will come your way and everything will be easier.


answered 25 Mar '10, 23:38

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

Thank you LeeAnn. I see what you mean. I'll begin doing those things. self discovery can be a daunting task from where i'm standing. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin.

(25 Mar '10, 23:45) Chris 2

Hi Chris, What is happening on the outside is a reflection of what is going on on the inside. The change that you need must come from within or you will have the same experience over and over. Try to get to the root of the problem. Whenever I am disconnected spiritually I start feeling that way but this may not be the same for you. The answer is within you and if you dig deep enough you will find it.


answered 25 Mar '10, 20:15

Drham's gravatar image


It sounds like there is some discontent with your current situation. However, I would sit quietly, and as Drham suggested look within and try to discern why you may want these changes.If you go ahead and change your environment, job,relationships etc., you will really only be treating the symptom and not the cause. The job, relationships etc. will turn out to be the same as those you have now only in a different guise - if you don't get to the real reason you want the change. You will only be trying to fill the same void with a 'different' set of circumstances.

If after contemplating, you do feel it will help your growth to switch up some stuff in your life, then by all means make the appropriate moves to do so. Only you can really find the right answer - I would suggest - if it feels right do it.


answered 25 Mar '10, 21:26

Michaela's gravatar image


Chris I was trying to add a comment but the system is not allowing me to so I am posting another answer.

I suggest that you get a good spiritual book to read. There are many available on the PSI Website for free. Whenever I am down and out, I focus intensely on my spirituality because it gives me strength. Sometimes I feel that the Higher Power knows how to get my attention. By giving me a tough problem to deal with (taking away my man). I just went through a breakup so I can relate to your situation. Since then I have been doing a lot of spiritual reading and it helps to soothe my soul. Dont be afraid to cry and let the sadness out and then pick up the pieces and move on. You will be fine.


answered 25 Mar '10, 23:49

Drham's gravatar image


Drham, I completely agree with you, it is very important to let all the pain and grief out of you r system, simply by allowing yourself to feel it. Cry when you are alone or with a good and trusting friend and cry until you stop from within, do not hold yourself back at that moment, take your time for that. And meditate to find the way back to yourself again. Start with just sitting still and concentrating on your breath for a couple of minutes and then start listening to the voices inside you. Go and do some fun things with your friends whenever you can. They will help you. Something that has helped me a lot in the past is laughing. Once you are done with your crying and you feel relieved and a bit better again, just start laughing out loud for yourself. For no other reason than that it will make you feel good. It sounds funny, but it really helps. I also recommend that you look in the internet for EFT and use some of the techniques you will find no doubt to help you get back on the right track. You tube has a few very good videos for EFT and dealing with pain and traumas. You will get better, you'd better believe that, I will send you some Reiki energy to help you on your way and I wish you lots of love, health and prosperity.


answered 26 Mar '10, 03:47

Marlina's gravatar image


I have been there before.

You have to take the power back you gave to her and others.

You have to be strong.

You have to work on the relationship with yourself at this point.

That is all that matters. Why? because even if you do move to a different location, you are still with YOU.

however, change in location has been scientifically proven to help depression... so if you do that, use is as a stepping stone to work on yourself too. Make the most of it.

You no longer have the luxury to just lala around. You owe it to yourself to TRANSFORM your mind and life.


answered 12 Aug '10, 19:04

Back2Basics's gravatar image


I thank you guys for your comments.

I understand what you mean about looking inside. I just don't know what i'm looking for inside.

My girlfriend and I just broke up and although I know it was probably for the best I'm having a hard time shaking the feeling of wanting to be with her again.

I mean although i know it was probably wrong my life was kind of rooted in her. I believe I loved her with everything I had and now that we aren't together my life has changed.

I feel very confused, and discontent. I don't know what I want anymore. I try to stay positive but i'm having trouble shaking this feeling.

I'm so fustrated.

I look around and although i have people around me that love me. My life as become a bore. I looked to her for excitement and assurance i guess.

help me help myself please


answered 25 Mar '10, 22:16

Chris%202's gravatar image

Chris 2

I say this totally from a nonjudgemental point of view - it sounds as though you depended too much on her and in some way were looking for her to fill a void for you and I tend to think this might be why she ended the relationship. I would suggest taking this time to really get to know yourself and what makes you tick as a person, without the dependency of a relationship. If you can get yourself to a place in your mind where you can begin to do this I have a feeling your next relationship will be much more rewarding. Take this time as an opportunity for self exploration.

(25 Mar '10, 22:46) Michaela

I understand what you mean and I agree. I just don't know where to begin. I feel like she was unable to love me because I didn't love myself enough. I became a burden in her life and too needy. I just want things to get better. This is a rough patch in my life.

(25 Mar '10, 23:04) Chris 2
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Asked: 25 Mar '10, 19:45

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Last updated: 12 Aug '10, 19:04

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