This question is marked "community wiki".

I figured that we have been so serious lately (which is only proper for the most part), that I'd repeat my actions of last spring and help IQ to develop the best collection of science jokes to be read anywhere...So get out your sense of humor, and write!

Your neighborhood sprite,

Jaianniah P.S. This is Community Wiki, so I won't get a thing out of it, except maybe some good belly laughs!

asked 24 Jun '12, 06:29

Jaianniah's gravatar image

Jaianniah
36.4k648485

These are wonderful! Thanks, Janianniah, for instigating the giggles!

(24 Jun '12, 14:27) Grace
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The question has been closed for the following reason "Question is off-topic or not relevant" by IQ Moderator 30 Dec '13, 13:45


One day a zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - The Bible and The origin of species by Charles Darwin.

In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading these two books?"
"Well", said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I am my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother".

link

answered 24 Jun '12, 08:06

English%20Rose's gravatar image

English Rose
(suspended)

An excellent start! LOL <3

(24 Jun '12, 12:23) Jaianniah

HOW ENLIGHTENED ARE YOU?

IF.... If you can live without caffeine,

If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him or her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender preference, or politics,

--Then you have almost reached the same level of spiritual development as your dog!

link

answered 24 Jun '12, 10:32

Satori's gravatar image

Satori
2.1k2095

A real gem! <3

(24 Jun '12, 12:24) Jaianniah

MANIFESTATIONS ON TIME

Mortal: What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second.

Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you?

God: Like one penny.

Mortal: Can I have a penny?

God: Just a second.

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answered 24 Jun '12, 14:15

Xoomaville's gravatar image

Xoomaville
1.9k226

Excellent! My choice as both scientific and spiritual! <3

(24 Jun '12, 15:55) Jaianniah

@xoomaville what is the mystery of the seven days of creation? a little child of seven days can tell you the place of life. and it takes 40+ mortal days to be born of water and spirit. I tell you this little child of seven days is born of water and spirit.The person old in days won't hesitate to ask a little child seven days old about the place of life, and that person will live. http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/gosthom.html

(30 Dec '13, 12:07) white tiger

"Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love" -- Albert Einstein (1879-1955) [German physicist]

Thought this one was appropriate for me...and Wade, too!

Hahaha,

Jai

link

answered 29 Jun '12, 18:27

Jaianniah's gravatar image

Jaianniah
36.4k648485

Good one:)

(30 Jun '12, 00:04) Xoomaville

Thanks! lol <3

(30 Jun '12, 01:36) Jaianniah

the best science joke is god did not create the universe and god does not exist.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/sep/02/stephen-hawking-big-bang-creator

Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?

http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/1-20.htm

maybe not the kind of joke that you will like but maybe you are not aware that i find it entertainning.

link

answered 30 Jun '12, 01:42

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger
21.7k1972

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Asked: 24 Jun '12, 06:29

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