hi..friends, few days back,i attracted a guy in my life by using LOA. he is exactly the one the had asked..,around 98/100 things matched. in the very beginning,evything went the way i wrote my love-story.but,after that i started feeling negative n so, he went from my life.then, by LOA i again got him back. still,everything was fine. but, he doesn't loves me as i love him.means.."we havn't seen each other yet,but still we love each other". but..,i feel like as i love him madly,but he doesn't loves me madly as i wrote in my dear diary that "my this guy(my soulmate) will be madly in love with me".i told him this thing also n so,he replied,"just bcoz somebody doesn't love u the way u want them to,does't mean they don't love u wth all they have". then,few days passed..n the frequency of sms n calls decreased..like a sms in 15 days n i think its been 3 months ..we havn't talked to each other. i said this to him ..so he said,"i am busy..with lots of work..,what to do". when i call him, he doesn't picks up the call. n when i stop smsing him he gets restlesss n messages me daily. now,i am not able to decide what to do??? 3 days back..i thought,"lets finish this,may be a far better guy must be written in my life." n i said this to him. but,then yesterday itself.i started missing him n i thought how can i let him go when i have actually attracted him using loa n i actualy love him unconditionally.n he didn't said a word..,he said "its fine..,i wont say anything..,its your choice".n then, again today i messaged him n said i am sorry for that day..pls forgive.i want u back in my life. again he said.."its ok..", but again,he didn't picked my any call. now i am not getting what to do? i can't leave him,cos i love him unconditionally. so,if he messages me once in 15days ,i am ok with that also. but,at times when he doen't replies i get annoyed. i feel like why i am doing this for someone "who doesn't even care for me?" ..n see he was the first one to approach me..n he pushed our love story ahead. but..then..,y he is behaving in this way..,plsss..help..

asked 22 Aug '12, 13:01

supergirl's gravatar image


edited 22 Aug '12, 20:33

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

You need to really read the book, Just For Women. Men and women communicate so differently and think so very differently as well.

I have the Just For Men book, I haven't read it in a long while now but I still remember the lessons.

(22 Aug '12, 13:53) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, not a fan of works promoting duality. Men and Women energies and way of looking at things reside in the mind. But in heart everybody's same and unified. Instead of women trying to understand men and vice verse on mental plane, they should learn to understand each other on emotional one. Not only the bond would get stronger and they'd find the understanding, but different ways of looking at things wouldn't matter.

(23 Aug '12, 01:54) CalonLan

@wade casaldi.., thank you dear,for ur reply..i have already read many such books..,,yah!!! bt,still will read this one also.n i agree with you. the thinking n emotional patterns of men n women r quiet different. newayz,thnks dear,love,light n blessings on your way.:))))

(23 Aug '12, 08:55) supergirl

@calonLan..,thanks for ur reply, bt i am not getng how to understnd each othr on emotional plane???

(23 Aug '12, 08:57) supergirl

@supergirl, because you think too much. You can only judge mentally, with your mind. But you cannot do that with your heart, because your heart doesn't construct illusions you believe. Your mind does. Screw the mind, it's no good. Stop thinking for a moment and feel with your heart.

(23 Aug '12, 09:26) CalonLan

yh..,wen i hear my heart..,it just says.."expect nothing in return...just love..love..love unconditionally.."

(23 Aug '12, 12:36) supergirl

@supergirl Yes those books are very awakening. They show why we view things totally differently but as well at the same time expect each other to just know because it is so natural. The strange thing is what a women finds natural like that is just how things are, is like totally off the wall incomprehensible to a man. But the things a man finds that are just taken for granted that is the way things are, is totally incomprehensible to a women.

Very good books, For men only and For women only.

(24 Aug '12, 01:29) Wade Casaldi

Example guys can say relax I'll check on the kids, and forget about it until he decides to get to it. But a women will worry about checking on the kids over and over until they are checked on. It said this is something they can't turn off like a guy can.

These books were written by interviewing groups of people, women about what they wish men could understand and men about what they wish women could understand.

(24 Aug '12, 01:36) Wade Casaldi

While you see this as romantic to him he probably sees it as a trap.

(24 Aug '12, 01:38) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, so the books in other words show you the reasons for how men and women behave. But instead of further addressing those reason, they just hand out guide and understanding how to act in accordance with those reason even though the reasons are flawed in the first place?

Do you see the problem these things create? It's like saying -> this toy is broken -> and this is the reason why it is broken -> so here's the manual how to play with the broken toy. They should fix it instead...

(24 Aug '12, 03:16) CalonLan

@CalonLan They are an answer simple and pain. A lot better than "What is her problem, What is his problem?" "Why is he acting this way, Why is she acting this way?"

But if you want to believe there is no understanding barrier and we always understand and act in logical ways to each other, and that there is never a communicating breakdown and misunderstandings that is your choice. I hope it works for you, because for me I would rather understand to have a better loving relationship.

(24 Aug '12, 03:40) Wade Casaldi
showing 1 of 11 show 10 more comments

Hi Supergirl

Here is a chapter from a book called The Astonishing Power Of Emotions by Abraham-Hicks. It is one of my favourite books by them. I hope you find this information useful.

My Lover Left Me Example:

My boyfriend, whom I‘ve been living with for the last two years, moved out. We didn‘t agree oneverything, and we did fight about some things, but nothing very serious. I thought that we were doing OK. And I can‘t believe that he doesn‘t want us to be together anymore. He swears that he is not gonna be with someone else. But how can you supposedly love someone, and then just all of a sudden move out, for no reason?


Most people who want a relationship believe that a mediocre relationship is better than no relationship at all. But we do not agree with that. In other words, since the potential for a glorious relationship always exists, we never encourage settling for less. Remember, that you feel the way you do because of the mix of vibrations within you, and that no two people feel exactly the same way about anything.

It‘s possible for two people to be sharing what appears to be an identical experience, but one person is enjoying it while the other is not, because their individual mixture of vibrations vary. Rather than trying to figure out what the other person wants and then putting your efforts towards satisfying his or her desires, it‘s much more productive and satisfying for you to be directing your thoughts toward the things that you desire.

Whatever you‘re living is causing you to make regular deposits into your vibrational escrow account. So, anytime something happens that you do not want, you send out a request for what you prefer instead. So, for example, now that your lover has left your experience, your request for someone who wants to be with you has been submitted in a stronger clearer way than ever before.

Many of your experiences throughout this lifetime have caused you to make request. And so you‘ve created a magnificent relationship that waits for you in vibrational escrow and calls you toward the fulfillment of it. And as you find more downstream thoughts, you get closer to the realization of these desires. But today while your heart is breaking, you‘re going against the current, and you‘re not allowing yourself to get closer to the relationship that waits for you.People are often amazed when we tell them that every bad thing that‘s ever happened to them in a relationship is part of the reason why such a magnificent relationship now waits for them.

However,if they continue to beat the drum of those bad things that have happened, they‘ll continue to deprive themselves of the discovery of that wonderful creation. Some might argue that even though it seems that someone abruptly made a decision and left, there had to be signs of your relationship breaking down you were missing, and that if you had been more tuned in to your boyfriend, you might have been able to turn this around, if you had caught the trouble at an earlier stage.

But we are quite pleased that you did not see this coming, because that means you were not looking for trouble, and we can also tell that you were predominantly focused upon the positive aspects of your relationship."So, if I was predominantly thinking positive thoughts, then why did he leave?" Well, this is something we really want you to come to understand. When you are predominantly feeling good, allthings are aligning for your ultimate satisfaction.

In other words, your life with its ups and downs has caused you to create a vibrational escrow of a wonderful future life experience, and you‘re being called toward it. So, whenever you‘re feeling good, that wonderful future is in the process of making its way to you, and you to it. Simply put, anyone who moves out of your experience for anyreason, was not a match to the wonderful future that‘s waiting for you in vibrational escrow.Here is something else that you might find fascinating. Let‘s say that you‘re watching your boyfriend closely, and you desire to please him in every way possible.

And you had begun to notice that he was beginning to be unhappy and no longer completely satisfied in your relationship. And then, in your awareness of his unhappiness you began to feel worried and so you tried harder and harder to make him happy. The most important thing that we want you to understand is that in your focus, which caused your unhappiness, you‘re no longer a match to your own desires. So now you‘re moving upstream, not downstream.

You‘re a match to his unhappiness, not to your true desires. And in that situation you would probably hold him in your experience longer. In other words, in focusing upon your boyfriend‘s unhappiness, and in your efforts to modify conditions to bring him to a happier place, you‘re actually becoming more out of alignment with who you really are and what you really want. You soothed him, and so he stays longer, and many think that is success. But from the bigger picture what has happened is that you have worked to please him instead of yourself, and under those conditions, in time, you would be the one who would be wanting to leave.

By being unaware of his discomfort, and by continuing to focus upon positive aspects in your relationship, you remain true to your real vision of the relationship. And since he is not matching that true vision, he is leaving. And friend, we promise you, that is not a bad thing.

When you consistantly feel good, even when people are freaking out around you, and even leaving you, what you really want must find you. It will be more difficult now, but in the same way you did not let his increasing unhappiness effect you, if you can now not allow his leaving to upset you, then the realtionship that you‘ve been crafting all along will come to you. And then your work will be the same again – to look for positive aspects.Do not get drawn into anyone‘s drama.

Do not stand on your head to please others in a distorted way of soothing their misalignment. It‘s better to let those things that are not a match leave your experience.This pain you‘re feeling is multifaceted, as it touches on so many things that matter to you. Not onlydo you feel unloved when what you want is love, but you feel insecure when what you want is security. You feel abandoned while what you want is to be adored. And while we understand that so soon after your lover has left you, is not easy to find good-feeling thoughts, still that must be your dominant intention.

The LOA is matching you up with circumstances, events and other people who match your vibration. And so, if you will deliberately choose your vibration, especially one that matches your own specifically created vibrational escrow, someone you would consider to be a perfect mate must come to you. Conversely, if you do not line up with the lover you really want,you will attract the lover that matches how you feel. And if you feel abandoned, you can only attract another who will behave in the same way.With far less time and effort than you think, you can come into alignment with your idea of a perfect relationship, and there will be a time, not so far from now, when you will look back on this lover who just left you, with great appreciation for the serious contribution he helped you make toward the creation of your perfect mate.

You may want to write him a letter that says, "Thank you for breaking my heart, and in the process helping me to clarify what I really want. Thank you for the painful experience of giving birth to such powerful rockets of desire, that when I turned in the direction of that desire, I was swiftly transported into this blissful relationship. It is my desire that your interaction with me has provided you with the same wonderful benefit.“Many people work very hard to try to make things work out. But we want you to understand that when you work to bring yourself into alignment with you, rather than into alignment with what someone else wants you to be, then the Universe will bring you the match. Just work to maintain your alignment, and the Universe will deliver to you partners who are aligned. It is Law.

So, start where you are and reach for increasingly better feeling thoughts. For example,

I am in a state of shock and depression. I don‘t know what to do

I can‘t believe this has happened.

I thought he was the one.

Why would he leave me on like that?

Why would he pretend that he wanted to be with me forever?

Now, see if you can move from your feeling of powerlessness. Reach for something that makes you at least feel like getting out of bed. For instance,

This is the last time something like this will happen to me.

I don‘t deserve to be treated like this.

I am glad that he left because clearly he is not what I thought he was.

Negative as these thoughts are, they are giving you a feeling of relief. Keep going.

Clearly we aren‘t right for each other.

There is no point in wasting more time figuring that out.

This was an extremely clarifying situation for me.

I‘ve learned so much in such a short period of time.

Thinking back, I can sort of feel this coming.

At the time I didn‘t want to see it, but now I realize it had been coming.

I am not sorry that this has happened.

Nothing terrible has really happened here.

It‘s not a bad thing to find out that what I really want is somewhere else.

This relationship has helped to more clearly define who I am and what I‘m lookng for.

I feel newly energized regarding relationships.I am gonna take my time as I move forward.

There is no urgency about figuring this out.I am actually happy to have some breathing space.

In a strange way I‘m looking forward to what comes next.

I know that what will come next will be better because of this relationship.

Some day I may thank him for helping me to get clear about what I do want. However, that day is not today.

Well, maybe it is.. a little.You have to admit, you do feel better. And that is your only work. If you will continue to feel good,everything that you desire must come.

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 23 Aug '12, 09:47

Satori's gravatar image


edited 24 Aug '12, 10:34


@Satori, great post. I will read it whole at home, but right off the bat I can say it's great. The first paragraph is just loaded with wisdom.

(23 Aug '12, 10:05) CalonLan

@CalonLan-Thanks.Yes this book is great and loaded with examples like this. I hope you find some benefit from it :)

(23 Aug '12, 10:30) Satori

@satori.., SUPERLIKES..SUPERLIKES..SUPERLIKES.... amazingingly amazing post. thank you so much dear. its awesome. the perfect answer that i was looking for.so..i have decided to give him time to fall in love with me again. somewhr in the huss-buss of busy metro life he has forgotten ..how beautifully we fell in love with each other. so..its like i am completely leaving this to GOD N universe.cos i suppose universe knows best for me. i will happily accept what universe will decide for me.

(23 Aug '12, 12:53) supergirl

@Supergirl-Thanks, your welcome, glad it helped :)

(24 Aug '12, 04:21) Satori

@Satori this is wonderful. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't benifit from keeping this wisdom close, hard as it may be to accept at times. Thank you.

(24 Aug '12, 18:02) Grace

@Grace- Thanks, glad it helped:)

(24 Aug '12, 21:43) Satori
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

If you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask no one to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself of all of that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world, or control your mate. - Esther Hicks


answered 23 Aug '12, 01:50

CalonLan's gravatar image


nice quote..

(23 Aug '12, 04:34) Satori

@calonLan ..thanks for ur reply, yah..very true. but,hw long u l feel good alone. at one point u l need ur mate..

(23 Aug '12, 09:00) supergirl

@supergirl need? The Need is a product of a fear, and whenever you are driven by a fear not curiosity you are heading into a disaster. Fear makes a puppet of you, curiosity cuts the strings and lets you be whoever you want to be. Why do you fear idea of being alone? What beliefs make you need to have someone else in your life.

Only when you learn to depend on no-one. You will free yourself of your fears and worries.

(23 Aug '12, 09:38) CalonLan


(23 Aug '12, 12:36) supergirl
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Hi Supergirl,

From the tone of your message it sounds as though you are coming on very strong with him. Maybe you need to take it easy a bit and enjoy the journey - not be so 'forward' about the things you wrote in your love story, at least not yet, as this could scare him away. Let the love story be between you and the Universe and just let it unfold between you and him. I hope my writing is not confusing. I suggest you just let it be and see if he comes back to you - if he doesn't then the Universe has a better guy queued up for you - you just have to let him in. I'm taking a few minutes off my studies to write this to you so I hope it helps. All my love and best of luck...


answered 22 Aug '12, 17:38

MoonWillow's gravatar image



@MoonWillow-Good advice.Letting things unfold instead of forcing something to happen is definately the less painful option:)

(23 Aug '12, 04:35) Satori

@MoonWillow, thank you dear,for ur wonderful reply...,n yup..i thought of this today morning only..,my intuition guides me very well..,i l leave it on GOD n UNIVERSE. newayzz,thnks dear..,u took out time out of ur studies to repply me. well, ur exams are gonna be awesome..for sure. best luckk to u dear..., sending lotts of love,light n positive vibes for ur best exams. :)))

(23 Aug '12, 09:11) supergirl

@satori..yup..true, now m trying to flow freely n lovingly wth the life,leaving evrythng on the universe to decide.

(23 Aug '12, 12:56) supergirl
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Supergirl, moonwillow is right, your expectations might be a lot for a man to handle. They don't deal with their emotional life in the same fashion we women do. Telling him your every plan for him and so on May be very intimidating. It may put pressures on him that make him back away. It's best to revel in the moments you have. Also, It's difficult to say, but just because he showed up after you wished for him does not make him the one necessarily. He could just have been receptive to the energies you sent out. I would just wait and not text or call unless he does first. In this manner you will be able to determine if he is wanting a relationship, but perhaps at a slower pace than you imagined. I hope this helps you, blessings!


answered 23 Aug '12, 06:55

eclectic1's gravatar image


@eclectic1..,thank you fr ur reply..,i did the same "waiting n al", bt at one point i am annoyed of waiting.u see how long u wil wait. but, few dayz back only he msged me n said tht he ws actualy busy n al. n so,he apolojized also. so,i suppose now he is responding. now,i l give him time to miss me n i know he will. after he is my "future husband"..he has to..:))), sending lots of love,light,n lots of positive vibes on your way dear..:)))

(23 Aug '12, 09:21) supergirl

When we attract people using the LOA it isn't necessarily our soulmate. If you had a list of 100 things and he met 98 of them...first of all, why 100 things? Sounds like you have pretty high and unrealistic expectations. Could you meet anyone's expectations 100%?

Also, if he's not contacting you every moment that you think he should, then you are also being unrealistic. People do have lives and are legitimately busy. SoulMates are not there for instant gratification. You probably came across as too needy to him and he was pulling back in response to that.

If sounds like you were infatuated with each other and when things "got negative" is when the real work of a mature relationship should have begun. I hate to be so blunt, but stop pestering the guy and let him come to you.

Also, when he says he's showing you love with everything he's got, he means it. Read The Five Love Languages. You will see that he may show love in a way that you don't prefer, but it is love nevertheless.


answered 19 Jul '14, 16:55

EliteSoulMateCoaching's gravatar image


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Asked: 22 Aug '12, 13:01

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Last updated: 19 Jul '14, 16:55

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