I realize that we create our own environment, our life.
Sometimes people come into my life that say a lot of negative things that I really do not want to hear. Even here I feel like I am reinforcing the problem by talking about it.
The majority of people do not do this, they are quite positive. When I encounter the few that do, I want to just walk away. Intellectually, I know that buying in to their negative stuff does no good for me or them, but sometimes it is difficult to see their better qualities and magnify them into something better.
Sometimes, not very often, I allow myself to get caught up in their stuff. Then I feel bad. I know that I have attracted this situation and don't want to perpetuate it, nor to attract more situations like this.
So do I just permanently walk away from them and work on myself about neutralizing the parts of me that have attracted that person - characteristic?
It seems difficult to stay near them and work on myself. I feel myself being drawn into their stuff.
METAPHOR: I was at Sea World once. They had these huge killer whales that performed all kinds of amazing tricks. Big, dangerous creatures! I talked with one of the trainers about how they got them to learn tricks.
I asked if ALL killer whales were good subjects for training. The trainer replied that a few do not want to do what he is trying to train them to do. I asked what did he do, then? Do you withhold food? Somehow punish them?
He said that he did not do either of those "motivational" ideas because he had to be in the water with them to train them and he did not want to be in the water with an angry, hungry killer whale! What he did was to open a gate in the big tank and let those killer whales swim back into the ocean. They are good killer whales, but he doesn't want them in his show.
So, do we do that with highly disruptive people? They may be good somewhere, but not in my world?
Clearly you are aware that there must be something activated within yourself that is a vibrational match to them otherwise you wouldn't be rendezvous-ing with their behavior.
In that case then yes, as you say, you need to work on yourself and neutralize the parts of you that attracted that behavior. And it is much easier to do that during those times when they are not present.
It doesn't mean you have to walk away permanently though. They will either have to match your improved feeling about them or, if they don't have the matching vibrational range, they will naturally clatter out of your reality. Either way, you will feel better about the situation.
Over the past year or so, I've also been thinking about a re-framing that can be quite helpful to use, not just for unwelcome behavior someone may have attracted, but for anytime in your life when you feel like quite a big change is required in order to get what you want, and the bigness of the change seems daunting.
The basic idea was expressed in a transcript from Bashar entitled Breaking addictions ... by becoming someone that never had them in the first place.
The re-framing applied to your situation is that instead of thinking about how much vibrational effort you may have to do in order to change them, simply acknowledge to yourself that you are not going to change this disruptive version of them in this reality. Rather, you are simply going to leave this disruptive version of them alone and instead, you are simply going to shift yourself to another reality where they already have more pleasing behavior.
In other words...
Rather than thinking that the Universe must change to give you what you want, just move yourself to another Universe where what you want is already there :)
This is a relatively straightforward mindset to adopt once you are willing to come to the realization that from one universe to the next, there is nothing that is "carried forward" except your beliefs/expectations. You have the potential to make the next Universe (in the next 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000539 of a second) as different as you like :)
For some reason, I find that just re-framing it that way feels much lighter and less resistant and it opens up possibilities for some pretty amazing results because you have let go of the need for something to change steadily and slowly. Instead, you have adopted the flexibility of thought that can allow the possibility of "miracles" happening.
I think you know sufficient information about Abrahams clattering theory. To put it shortly, once you raise your vibration, if other once 'common' people were in that particular reality, they shall now disappear, somehow, someway. The point is, they'll no longer be around you.
So essentially, I think what you're asking is, what to do when other people explain of their bad news? We shall expand on the Clattering Theory in a different branch now.
It's great you're evolved enough to accept that you create all of your reality, not just some of it, not just the good things. Otherwise you'll have trouble working around what I'll explain.
Everything in life is your mirror, you know this.
Here is an observational technique you can experiment with. Do you have best friends? Or, are you emotionally close with any people? Assuming you are very, very close with someone in your life, you'll be able to spot what your problems are by viewing what their problems are. Hense, you'll find that whenever they complain, or tell a bad story about something, you'll be relieved to know that it's really just you seeing your own problems, worries, or concerns, reflected in the base of another persons life drama (even if the subject manner is completely different. If you're super close with a person, you may discover that the subject content be the same).
With that said, even seemingly every day interactions will withhold the same style of energy in them to reflect back what you're putting out.
For example, let's say there is a guy out there, called Lonely Nikulas. He is upset because he doesn't have a girlfriend. Now, this will be channeled back to Lonely Nikulas in the form of, perhaps...
Now you see how these four things are not even seemingly related to Lonely Nikulas' example problem? If you examine this from an emotional perception, you'll understand that all these situations provide almost an exact same overall feeling...We'll just label it as powerlessness or loneliness in this example.
If you are a particularly sensitive person, or you are very habitual in empathising with people when you communicate, you'll be able to address the emotion far more quickly of what is being put out. Very often, if you place yourself in your 'targets' shoes, and imagine what they are feeling, their feeling easily is on par with yours.
I'd say that is exactly what needs to be done here.
The way out of this, is simple: Just clear up your own problem. Naturally, once that is finalised and done, you won't bring about these situations anymore, until, of course, you emit a new problem (hint hint, contrast is not a bad thing).
Besides, as you've even stated in the question, we do all attract certain energy, or personas, from the person you're interacting with. There may be a person out there that some would label as 'nasty,' whilst others label as 'friendly.' The truth is, though it is the same physical body, you could say it's an entirely different person with different people. And that person may have the incline to ramble on about their problems, or their successes, depending what you attract out of them.
This is what Abraham means when they say "you cannot be critical of others and still see your own success" (one of the flawed premesis from their book, The Vortex.) Isn't it cool to realise though, that on the same note, whenever you have a success, you'll attract a seemingly entire world which is experiencing the same thing?
And isn't it cool by basking in anothers glory, you are setting up your own glory to come?
I have a tendency to ramble on myself...Hope I cleared some things up @Dollar Bill :) Otherwise fire away specific questions in the comments section!
answered 04 Sep '12, 09:37
Law of attraction is subject to duality. Therefore, it can not be the answer to problems created within duality.
I'm not going to bother quoting all the great minds here, because I find it unnecessary. The idea is still the same. I'm mentioning this because if I copy/paste quotes of respected people, the idea is not going to be thought about as much as it is, when it is just an idea provided by an unknown person. You simply don't assign any credit to it, solely on reputation of who said it, but you give it a thought of your own to find what's in it for you.
Now, the problems you recognize in your life, exists only within duality. In the state of oneness, they all disappear. The problem with Law of Attraction is, it is just another way of looking at duality of the world. Just another fancy toy to play with. You are still trying to run away from your suffering towards the pleasure... you only changed your ways. Now you are more conscious of how vibrations work and how things attract each other.
But the underlying problem is still the same. You attract A because you want to get rid of B. When you are one with everything, B is not negative, thus you don't want to shy away from it, there is no need to attract A either. Because being one with everything is an experience that leaves you with understanding that "Everything is FINE as it is"..
You are not flattered by praise, not hurt by blame. There are no negative people, because there are no positive ones either. There are just people. And they are fine as they are, whatever way they are, because they are one.
I don't care if people say "Thank you" to me whenever I do something for them. I don't care if they curse and blame me. And when I say thank you, I recognize they are trapped within their own prison of reality. They might think I'm building a relationship with them, but I already have relationship with everyone. I merely recognize my own reality of duality and I choose to comfort their own illusions with something pleasant.
But I don't seek to persuade them nor you to let go of duality and dive into oneness, I only choose to share what I know. Regardless of whether it gets picked up or forgotten. Just like a lighthouse on the shore, you just stand there in silent and share the information. You don't care if ships don't notice or ignore it and crash on the rocks, you don't move and point them in another direction. Crashing or surviving, every ship is just fine. And even if you could move, you wouldn't try to save a ship heading for a certain death on the rocks.
Because in oneness, there are no motives, no choices to make. You just let be. Because you can feel that every choice, left or right, is part of you. To crash on rocks or change a course, is a decision of the ship. But you can feel that decision be part of you regardless of which one it is. You don't judge as to what is right or wrong. Right or wrong is part of you as well. You are one.
Your ego or reality consciousness wakes up to understanding that it is the oneness. If life is a game then getting to the point where you are just one with everything and everyone, is like enabling cheats in that game. You are no longer playing by design of the game following its mechanics (the construct of your mind), you can pass walls and barriers that you see from your ego perspective, because now you have sight of oneness.
But don't give this too much thought, they won't take you there. Only when there are no thoughts, you can feel the oneness, that everything is just as it should.
You have attracted them because of your beliefs. You have also come to expect this behavior from them, so you look for it, even if you aren't aware of it. Like a part of you is waiting like a cat watching a mousehole for them to do this, and a part of you is glad because you are right.
So before you go dismissing people, try redirecting the conversation. You can start by listening for possitive things and then reinforce that. If you don't hear them say possitive stuff, but they say something negative, gently redirect the conversation. If you are too abrupt, they shut down as you have said. You can either steer it if you can or ask them if they have any happy stories. In the case with the AC guy and he starts telling you about a spider he encountered, ask him if he ever found any treasure, any good stuff.
I have a client with developmental disabilities. She loves to tell me bad news that she heard. It was getting stressful for me, so I decided to not let her tell me. Now I stop her and ask her if she has any good news. I remind her that I don't like bad news. I don't watch the news or read the paper because I don't like all the bad news. I suspect with your employees, they will be faster to get it. You can even explain to them that it's not personal, you don't listen to bad news in general.
You can also see these as clues to things you might be afraid of or judge or whatever belief you need to work on. Maybe you are afraid of spiders, or of losing your dogs and these stories bring out the fear and discomfort. You can do Two Hands Touching with affirmations to help with the fears, etc... and also to send them love. You can say, "Salute the divinity in _ and send him/her love," sandwiched between the THT. This helps you to allow yourself to see the possitive in them too. By changing your focus, it's like reaching into a different reality and getting a different version of them. And sometimes that means a version where they aren't in your reality. They end up moving or getting a different job.
Dollar Bill - I have been thinking about this question and the answers and I couldn't quite put my finger on what is was I wanted to say. Anyway, this came into my life today and I'd like to share it with you:
"The attributes of the pure Match Bearer are to push love. They have tolerance for every single Human Being who they come into contact with. They assume love is present in every situation. They create light.
I want to tell you about dark and light, yet again. If you've got a light lit, darkness cannot invade you. How can darkness, which has no energy at all, be around and invade you when you're holding the light? Darkness, as defined, is the absence of light. Some Lightworkers have a strange 3D concept that says, "I don't want to go there because the darkness may get me. I'm very careful where I go. I don't want to go around these people because they have dark energy." Why don't you go there and shine your light in their lives, oh courageous one? Are you only going where there is other light? Do doctors go to work and only see doctors?"
The entire transcript comes from the Kryon website - a channelling entitled "The Matcher Bearer".
My point is that from what you have shown me on IQ, you have more than enough love to handle a few difficult people - they can be around you but you aren't affected by them in any meaningful way and who knows they may even be affected positively by you.
answered 05 Sep '12, 07:40
@Dollar Bill - I love the whale example! Excellent comparison, I think. I work with some killer whales, and sometimes would dearly love to let them swim out to sea. :)
I think that if you we somehow get all of the negative people out of our lives, but don't do the vibrational work, we will just attract more and more of them, so we might as well work with what we've got in front of us. I would say, spend as little time as possible around them, though.
I agree however that it is difficult to stay around them and work on your vibration at the same time. I don't know why it is that I can be drawn into their dramas when I know so much better, but I am a work in progress.
However, when I invest the energy in the intention to change myself (my vibration), the payoff is exponential. Any effort pays off huge dividends, and really is well worth it, in my opinion.
"When you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change." ~ Wayne Dyer.
When you focus only on the positive aspects of those people or the situations you are in, eventually those will be the only aspects that can be presented to you, because the negative side will have nothing to latch onto, no vibrational match to keep it anchored in your life. They will have to change, or clatter away. :)
what i prefer in any such situation is.."i never say a word.., remeber what goes cooms back..so, its better to keep ur mouth shut..,if other is pouring their anger on you. secondly.., immediately i say in my mind.."GOD BLESS HIM/HER". by doin this.."we know tht the person is actually suffering from some or the other prblm wth himself thts y he is ouring it on u"..,so he needs GOD'S blessings. n thn, we don't evn feel bad.., why u need to feel bad..? see, that person is caught up in negativity n needs just love ..,so bless him..,love him.., u have enough of it in you to give tht person. i hope u hav gt wht m saying. love,light n lots of blessing ur way dearo...:))))
answered 04 Sep '12, 11:09
I just learned that someone i loved was juts kinda sucking my life and energy out of me. I was somthing they wanted to have in themselves and couldn't find it. This was poison for them and for me when i couldn't give of myself as they wanted. This is why i made this vid. It is ok to love someone from a distance.
Rob talks about Relationships. (loving urself)
love n light
answered 04 Sep '12, 20:58
TReb Bor yit-NE
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