A couple years ago I got this thing called Depersonalization Derealization Disorder.
I've slowly been recovering from it but its been about a solid two and a half years since I have literally been able to feel anything- feelings, my environment, connection to nature or people, somtimes I get burns on my skin from hot water and things and can't even notice the disconnection is pretty bad.
I can't tell the changing of the seasons anymore either or feel environments, things like that. Its been a devastating experience for me since I used to be really connected, so deeply so to my world, my calling, other people and even spirits ( I have seen ghosts in the past).
I got DPDR from an extremely traumatic event but I have processed it and it is no longer relevant in my life anymore. So why is DPDR still here? Ever since I got DPDR my life has become horribly bleak and when I read about manifesting and "feeling good" it really confuses me- feelings have dissapeared entirely and I can't even seem to conjure up much outside of just basically existing.
I just want to believe that I got DPDR as a way to somehow teach me a spiritual lesson that I need to overcome.
Would anyone have any insight into this? I ask everyday what it is this is telling me and what adjustments I need to make. I take care of my body pretty well and I am a pretty positive and optimistic person and I care about others, but this is my dry valley period in my life.
There must be something that I need to learn from this poverty of experience.
There are very few people around who actually have it apparently. If you have it there is no question and its nearly impossible to explain completely the reality to someone who doesn't have it but the nearest way to describe it its pure torture. I'm no longer in the torture part of it ( in the spectrum of it) but I would do anything to feel the changing of seasons again in all its glory and feel my body and connect with the environment and my inner self and others again! That was where all the color in the world was! I think about it everyday!
Any thoughts or anyone else on here experienced this or know someone who has?
It's going to be tough, but you have got to believe that it will get better with time.
Are you on the correct meds? Are you in therapy? These are my first questions. If you are not, then things will stay pretty much the same...bleagh. I know it seems as if it will go on forever, it will not. Especially if you are getting proper treatment. Are you?
Secondly, this is a panic disorder. Perhaps you need to get to the roots of that, rather than concentrating on being something or doing something you really do not or can not do right now. What is freaking you out? Figure that out, and you have your ticket to getting well.
The people here all are supportive and care about you. Be sure you stay connected with yourself enough that you continue to care about yourself, too.
Good luck...and Blessings,
Do Two Hands Touching Place the palms of your hands together and close your eyes. Ask yourself quietly in your mind, "What do my hands feel like?" Then feel the answer in your hands. Don't try to name the feelings, don't try to think or not think, just feel your hands. Do this as long as it takes to feel that peace, usually just a few seconds.
You can also use THT with affirmations that suit your needs/wants. You can change them to fit you, just keep them possitive and present tense. You can alsoe use it with visualization. Have fun with it.
I just thought of this yesterday, and wondered how I would share it, I haven't tried it yet. I will try it when I am done putting it here.
Do THT then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with my family" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with _ (where you work)" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with _ (your town)" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with _ (your state/province)" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with _ (your country)" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with _ (your continent)" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with everybody associated with the whole planet" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with the whole planet" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with the whole solar system" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with with the whole galaxy" Then do THT. Then do THT.
Then say, "I am connected in love with with the whole universe" Then do THT.
Then say, "I am love." Then do THT
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