I am too self-demanding, also demanding with other people, and I get easily frustrated when thinks don't come out "my way", which to me, is the "perfect" way... :P Sounds awful, doesn't it?
I want to know what should I do to learn to be a more laid back sort of person, a devil-may-care, so to speak. I know, I should start a Focus Block on that lol
ADDED LATER: Just wanted to relate one experience I had the other morning: I awoke "feeling good", I could almost say happy. I stood in bed awhile enjoying the feeling, knowing it would be very productive to manifest things that I wished, and I foolishly though I could keep it going for the rest of the day.
Then I turned on my mobile and I had a text message that put me off completely! Nothing I was in control of, I knew it wasn't my fault, and I din't blame myself for it, but the reality is that that text message spoilt most of my day.
It was very difficult for me during the day to reach a "feeling good" place again.
What should I do when this happens???
Hi Bridget, you start the change by monitoring yourself closely and practice responding differently to situations. They say it takes 30 days to learn a new habit so you will have to work on it consistently for that long. You do this one day at a time and before you know it you will become the person you want to be.
answered 20 May '10, 22:53
Offhand, I would say meditate.
Meditation is, in part, the practice of letting go of that part of your self that wishes to control everything. That is how we connect with the Divine, by letting go and letting God.
When you are your own universe (centered in the ego), you become responsible for everything that happens to you, and feel compelled to control all of the details in your life so that they line up. But when you align with Source energy, you tap into that creative, intuitive part of your self that already knows, and the details line up automatically.
It's not the job of the ego or rational mind to control everything so that it all works out, but instead to notice opportunities when they are given, and take advantage of them. It is rather like a ship on the open sea. The ship does not try to control the sea and the wind. Rather, it works with the sea and wind's true nature to get to where it wants to go.
Bridget, I too have been guilty of having a bad temper at times. I have improved it by replacing bad thoughts with better ones, via the method described in the Abraham-Hicks books. I do also meditate, which keeps me more calm in general. I have to remind myself many times per day, that not every thought needs to be expressed. I can keep my negative thoughts to myself and replace them with better ones. In that way, angry, controlling, or negative thoughts just pass, nearly all of the time. (I still get angry and impatient while driving sometimes but I am working on that!)
answered 20 May '10, 20:09
It sounds like you don't appreciate or know yourself very well to me. Honestly, by the fact that you said "my way" which is the "perfect" way...lol...I really think it's something you might just need to take time to honor in yourself as part of your personality. Some people are really good at seeing how to perfect things :). At the same time, you also have to realize that others have their own way. But I do have to ask, do you get upset because you don't think people are respecting you or just simply because you think your way is the only way?
First, I'd suggest you explore personality types. Find a book on the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator or Carol Tuttle's Energy Profiling book. It might help you to better understand your nature so that you can be more accepting of it. Second, truly be accepting of it and find positive ways that you can honor yourself. I truly believe that the most important thing that we can do for ourselves is to show ourselves compassion.
A good tip for something ruining your day is to turn it around. Everytime you find yourself being grumpy or having your day spoiled by something that is out-of-your control take a moment and think about all the things you are grateful for. For example, I woke up the other day feeling really bleh and having no energy and just couldn't think of anything that I was grateful for at that moment, so I just picked my hands. I started making a list of everything that my hands allow me to do that I enjoy. Because I thought it was kind of silly to be appreciating my hands, I started giggling and it completely changed my mood around. I also agree that meditation is a wonderful thing to do to just bring some peace to your mind. If you are like me and have a problem doing it on your own, there are many places that have guided meditations for free on the internet.
Wishing you peace :).
answered 06 Sep '11, 13:59
In response to your "added later" comment:
You are responsible for how you react to things that happen to you. No one else is reponsible for how you feel at any given moment.
Do you feel empowered now? You get to choose how you react.
If you find yourself reacting in a habitual or impulsive way to a particular event, just interrupt yourself, and use one of the techniques on this board for bringing yourself back to a good feeling place.
It doesn't mean that you have to refrain from taking action based on what happened. You can do that, if you want to. But taking action from a good-feeling place is far more likely to produce a positive result.
BJ09, getting upset by other people's actions or inactions is a matter of choice. You are the one who regard any action and interprete it to give it value. If not because of the pains, somebody may slap you and you may choose to laugh. And on the other hand you may choose to cry, depending on what you think about the whole event.
If your friend intentionally spits on your leg, you may get angry and decide to slap him/her. But if you are attacked by an Armed Robber, for example, instead of him using the arms on you and you are lucky he just spits on your leg, you will thank God and be happy. Why? Because you choosed to. It is the same type of spit, the same leg, and the same other people's actions, but different reactions.
So when you are going to drive the next day, just make the choice that you promise not to be upset by any driver today, and minding what you say, you will opt not to be offended in any way on the traffic. You will go happily and come back happily. what ever happens on the way you just attribute it to "that is the will of God," and just get happy. I know it is not easy, but that is just the begining. Try it and see.
answered 21 May '10, 23:40
You have to think, if you hadn't received that message on your cell phone, Would you have stayed happy? Whatever upset you would have still had happened however you wouldn't have known about it.
I know this seems to be going nowhere fast but stick with me in this, it is the knowledge of this news that made you decide to change your day. Was news a situation that you could do something about? If so then you can release it knowing you will handle it. Was it news that you can do nothing about? This is harder news to take, you feel helpless at this news. It is when we get news of this kind that we need process it and then hand it over to God knowing God will take care of it. We must be willing to say this is too big for me to handle but God I know this is not too big for you to handle. After we do this we can again release it as something we have no control over so we turned it over to God and can now relax knowing that it is being handled by another more capable to handle it than you are.
Whether we can handle it or not either way we can release it and until we are to handle it or until God handles it. Either way is letting go and getting out of the way, which means let it go and get back to enjoying your day.
The one exception I can think of is news of death or hospitalization of a loved one, but we need understand all our worry does not change anything for the better it just hurts us more.
answered 06 Sep '11, 17:39
do your best have faith in God he will take care of the rest.meditate.find the right balence. be righteous anger and frustration serve no perpace. if it would be the perfect way you would not be frustrated or in anger.
for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.
Matthew 5:22 But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca,' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Ephesians 4:26 "In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
experience and enjoy.
answered 06 Sep '11, 20:29
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