My husband and I have been studying Abraham--Hicks, Eckhardt Tolle, Charles Haanel, and several others. As we progress we began to realize that much of our talk was "telling it like it is", gossiping about other people, complaining, problem solving and a lot of other things which we now consider negative/resistance.
We like to drive places and used to carry on long conversations, but now we find we don't have a lot to talk about with each other. We both realize that we now edit our internal conversations away from negativity by focusing on positivity.
I may be thinking of some past event, and then (silently) replace it with looking at a beautiful sky, or tree, or something in the Now. But how many times can we say to each other, "Did you see that beautiful tree?" Usually we were looking at the same thing.
Please understand that we are very happy where we are. We share on a deep intimate level and would never go back to where we once were.
It is particularly noticeable when we are with others and they begin to talk about "issues", and their problems. We don't have a lot to say back! Sometimes I think that we just "fuzz them out," and don't really hear their negative talk.
So, unless you are Eckhart Tolle in front of an audience, what do you talk about?
asked 16 Nov '12, 12:05
@No Brainer, boy do I ever know what you mean! It has been quite a surprise to me to find that I have so much less to say these days! You almost have to retrain yourself in the art of conversation, don't you?
I have had some old friends pretty much "clatter" out of my life, because they seem sort of disgusted with my more positive outlook (and even more so with my positive outcomes), and I really just can't understand why they seem to actually want to be miserable. It's a fact, though, that I can only just barely understand what the heck I had been thinking up until recently, so I sure don't blame them. We just can't even really hear eachother anymore.
My own conversation has changed so much, and I'm fortunate to have a good old friend who has been very happy to sort of come along for my ride. She and I talk about a whole lotta nothing, as girls do, but also a lot about things we really enjoy about life such as our own progress and that of our family members, our efforts to continue on this fruitful path, plans and hopes for the future, travel, music, and fun, goofey things like pets and kids... sometimes indistinguishable from one another.... :)
For me personally, this site helps quite a bit in finding interesting and diverse topics for conversation, and to expand my mind and interests. Also, have you ever heard of the radio show Coast to Coast? Its a late night talk show that covers many of the same out of the ordinary subjects that are discussed here. If you like it here, I would highly recommend giving that show a listen. It sometimes seems to get a little silly, but for the most part, I find it facinating. The topics are rich fuel for interesting conversation, and can spark further study and investigation.
Just my two cents. I loved this question. I don't remember anyone ever talking about this before, but I've sure felt it. Thanks for bringing it up.
answered 16 Nov '12, 21:09
Communication is not always about the noise we can make with our mouth, in my journey I am seeking inner peace. Enjoying time with each other does not mean we have to open our mouths, only our hearts and eys to what is is and always has been in front of you. Focus on the positive things you want to do in life like helping other people and the conversation will start again with your husband. The reason you seem to be looking sometimes at the same thing is that you are. When you married each other you became one.
answered 16 Nov '12, 12:11
Ok this seems to be a common problem. what to talk about if the negative is not an option anymore? this is especially an issue if you have friendships build on negativity. i can see now that i have many friendships like that. even with my parents i can't seem to talk to in a usual way.
my solution: just always have fun!
tell jokes, learn to tell jokes, watch comedy stand up shows, talk about them with others, tell funny anecdotes. buy books on how to be funny etc and always have the mindset of "how can i make this situation more fun?" and be always in the now while telling storys and jokes. be fully present.
and watch your thoughts! in my experience there will be fearful thoughts in you! because you will begin to think about what others will think about your new attitude. what if say judge you for how you are now? what if they don't like your new self that is having fun all the time? the answer is: so what?
realize that your only job is to have fun to make all your dreams come true. so having fun should be your highest priority. your feelings first, everything else (such as empathy and compassion for others) second.
so if anyone tries to talk about negative stuff you just change the topic or try to make yourself feel good otherwise. probably many will not like that but so what?
and remember the negative is only negative if you see it as negative. in fact everything is just neutral. we give meaning to things and call them negative or positive. so just call it positve.
and remember Circumstances Don't Matter Only State of Being Matters.
When I was going to college, I would talk about what I was learning in class. I would find connections between what I learned in a class, and something in life. Some people were interrested, some were not.
When I decided not to talk about the things that were happening in life that I don't like, there became a void of conversation. Lately, I have been studying and developing emotional healing techniques, Two Hands Touching and Ez Deletion Sequence. That is my main topic of conversation with anyone who will listen.
When I am with my son, I will ask him about his goals and dreams. I encourage him and help him learn about it. I never squash his dreams. I let him dream whatever he wants. I might ask questions about why, etc... but I always encourage him to explore and learn about it, trusting that he will make good decisions.
Most people I wouldn't trust with telling my goals and dreams because they squash them. That is why people say not to tell your wish or it won't come true. Because of doubters put doubt in your head. (In typing this, I can see that since I create my reality with my beliefs, then if I change my belief about this, I can change it in my reality.)
However when I am with the right people, I can talk about my goals and dreams. Different people get different kinds, some more fantastical than others.
I too am relearning this after going into negative talk and experiencing the affect. It was that period that taught me that my thoughts and beliefs were creating my reality. Even The Bible talks about idle words and how words can create or destroy, and words that lift up one another. I asked what that meant and I got an answer.
When people talk about negative stuff, I get really uncomfortable. I don't know what to say. Now if appropriate, I offer them Two Hands Touching.
answered 17 Nov '12, 10:44
What a wonderful topic! I've had many of the same observations Grace has. I've enjoyed all the responses so far though. Nothing to add, I'm just going to read (with great interest) for now. :)
answered 17 Nov '12, 11:34
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