I agree that you have to master those points first to be able to feel better. Therefore I want to share a method which I find highly valuable to help with those points. It also uncovers deep hidden limiting beliefs at lightning speed if you master the technique with a little bit of practice.
1- Clearing space
The first step is called clearing space. What I like you to do is just be silent and take a moment just to relax. Inside you I would like you to pay attention inwardly in the middle of your body, perhaps in your stomach or your chest. Now see what comes there when you ask
"How is my life going? What is the main thing for me right now?"
Sense within your body. Let the answer come slowly as a sense in your body. When some concern comes, don't go inside it. Stand back and say "Yes, that's there. That's one thing. I can feel that, yes. That's there alright." And let there be a little space between you and that.
And then ask what else you feel. If it weren't for that, would you be all ok? Wait again and sense. There are usually 3 or 4 things.
2- Getting a "Felt Sense"
The second step is called "Getting a Felt Sense". From among what came select one
personal problem to focus on. And then
just choose it, don't go inside it!
Stand back from it a little! Of course
there are many parts to that one
thing you are thinking about. Too
many parts to think each one alone.
But you can feel all these things together.
Pay attention in that place where you
usually feel things! And in there you
can get a sense of what all of the one
problem feels like. Let yourself feel
the unclear sense of all of that!
3- Getting a handle
The third step is called "getting a
handle". You need to ask yourself
"What is the quality of this unclear
Let a word or a phrase or
an image come up from the Felt Sense
itself. It might be a quality word, a
body quality like "thight", "sticky",
"scary", "stuck", "heavy", "jumpy". Or
it might be a phrase or an image.
Stay with the quality of that Felt
Sense till something fits it just
In the fourth step of focusing you
move back and forth between the Felt
Sense and the word phrase or image. We
call it resonating. You go back and
forth between the Felt Sense and that
word or image and you check how they
resonate with each other.
You see if there is a little bodily
signal that lets you know it fits. And
to do that you have to get the Felt
Sense back again as well as the word
or phrase. Let the Felt Sense change
if it wants to. And let the word
change until it feels just right
capturing the quality of the Felt
The fifth step is called "asking". Now
"What is it about this whole problem that makes this quality, this
which you have just named
or pictured. Make sure that the
quality is sensed again freshly,
vividly - not just remembered from
before! When it's here again tap it,
touch it, be with it, ask it "what
makes the whole problem so ...?"
whatever it is, whatever you called
Or ask "What is in this sense?". If
you get a quick answer without a
physical shift, a little physical
signal that the Felt Sense is
different, just let that kind of
answer go by. Bring your attention back
to your body and freshly find the Felt
Sense again. And then ask it again.
Be with the Felt Sense until something
comes along with the shift, with a
bodily change. It might be very slight
but a distinct bodily change that lets
you know, that answer, or opening, or
step really makes a difference to your
body. A kind of answer that has
some give or release or easing in the
body that goes with it.
The sixth and final step is called
"receiving". Whatever comes with that
little bit of physical shift, receive
that in a friendly way, whatever it
is. Stay with it a little while, even
if it's only a very slight release.
Whatever comes is only one little
There will be many others. And what it
says now will change many times. You
will continue after a little while but
stay there for a few moments and sense
again what actuaally came.