I am trying to make my life better overall; new career choices, moving out of the house, getting more formal education...I am trying to really get happy with my life cirucmstances.

However, a huge trap I fall into is that I will only allow myself to feel better once circumstances on the physical plane have actually changed/ gotten solved. Eg: I take action to look for a new job, get resume done, email it out, talk to people etc...I actually will only be allowed to feel joy and 'acihevement' once I have concretely accepted the job offer.

Extremely hypoctrical to the vast majority of teachings on IQ- where you change your feelings first, and then you go out and take action.

Seriously, can somebody tell me as it is straight- how can I fix this, so I can feel better (in the example) even before I go out looking for a job?

The feelings is what creates, not the action or thinking. How can I positivly utilise myself here?

asked 10 Dec '12, 23:41

Nikulas's gravatar image


@Nikulas Do any of the techniques that you found here (focus blocks, eft etc.) work for you reliably? Or are they all don't seem to work at all to make you feel better? I don't mean to manifest things or achieve any kind of goal. Do any of the tools make you feel better every time when you apply them?

(11 Dec '12, 00:07) releaser99

@releaser99- I don't want to admit it, because it will sound like I am lazy, or haven't read the instructions properly...But focus blocks just cannot do anything for me. I try many times to do them (sometime, yes, they work), but for the majority of time it's all a matter of me taking physical action before I let myself feel better.

(11 Dec '12, 00:25) Nikulas
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

The easiest way I have found to take my mind off the big things that I want is to focus on the background noise - a bit like one of those paradigm shift pictures where you start off thinking it is one thing and then it morphs into something else as your focus shifts in subtle ways. Instead of really really trying to work on feeling good about your major issues you just seamlessly shift to raising your vibration on any number of minor issues. Stingray explains brilliantly about this technique here - http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/5901/manifesting-experiment-2-the-focus-blocks-method-manifest-what-you-want-by-deliberately-feeling-better-about-it.

The problem for you is that you mention above that you don't find focus blocks that useful. I find they are much easier when you do them on minor irritations. I find when I do them on the really big things they quickly lose their power to make me feel better and I end up just pressing really hard on the big issue and usually making things worse. Shift your focus to the background noise issues BUT you have to be diligent about it and commit to doing it daily for at least thirty days.

The key thing is to have a number of minor and a few major issues on the books and then work on them randomly, maybe 2 - 3 in the morning and a couple during the day. To give you an example, I get on reasonably well with my mother but there is one aspect to her character that really irritates me. This came up and at the appropriate moment I did a focus block and of course re-affirmed all the many things I love about her (not difficult) and ended up calling her and telling her I loved her ... good feelings all round. It would have been really easy to just let the day drift by focusing on that one irritation.

I know you know this Nikulas because you've been on this site long enough but I can't stress how important it is to just systematically shift your focus away from the highly resistant things, those things that you really want to see results on. Abraham talks about this but if you don't have a system it is easy to just keep backsliding to square one. I find that as I focus less on the highly resistant issues (by focusing on the little things) I am less bothered about results on the big things because as I'm feeling good I'm more confident about the big things eventually coming.

My feeling about you is that you have indeed hit on your one big problem - I confess it is mine also. The good news is that you've done the heavy lifting, you understand what needs to be done - it is a matter now of fine tuning and shifting your vibration in subtle ways to get the results you desire. Good luck!


answered 11 Dec '12, 04:17

Catherine's gravatar image


edited 11 Dec '12, 04:28


@Catherine - I think you've highlighted the major mistake people make when applying Focus Blocks - not having enough "minor" blocks to play with. I rarely have less than 50 going on simultaneously at any one time - currently 91. I dump my entire life into it and just filter out no-longer-relevant stuff when it randomly comes up. If one were to tackle the big subjects one at a time then the method morphs into Abraham's Focus Wheels method, which needs a bit more discipline and effort. I'm lazy :)

(11 Dec '12, 05:18) Stingray

@Catherine- Thankyou for your contribution, and I feel very touched being able to sense your intention to help me <3

(11 Dec '12, 06:40) Nikulas

And yes, I am going to avoid 'big issues' with focus blocks and perhaps just start again, this time with miniscule subject matters and build up from there.

(11 Dec '12, 06:45) Nikulas

@Nikulas I've re-read my answer and decided it sounds like I'm a parent nagging you - sorry about that. When I have a bit of breakthrough I can get a bit over excited in wanting to tell others about it - Satori's answer was the sane and brief version of my answer minus the focus blocks!

(11 Dec '12, 09:53) Catherine

@Stingray I have mentioned your original post twice without thanking you - THANK YOU. It has been a real bonus to have a system that I can apply the Abraham advice of getting general and taking your focus off the resistant topic. It wasn't enough to just think yeah I agree with that, that's great advice - I needed the system.

(11 Dec '12, 09:55) Catherine

@Catherine Really fantastic answer here. @Nikulas From my experience the major obstacles you might see in implementing what Catherine wrote are: 1. Your ability to focus is not cultivated sufficiently. So the major issues won't let you focus on the minor ones. Meditation and stopping thoughts will help here imo. And then do the minor focus blocks. 2. You aren't connected to your feelings while doing FB. Then you are lost. Inner body meditation can help cultivating this skill. http://goo.gl/QnAQQ

(11 Dec '12, 09:58) releaser99

@Nikulas I don't think it's about "avoiding big issues" completely with focus blocks. Its just that if you only have big issues focus blocks completely, it might have a reverse effect instead as you would facing all of them every single day, reminding you of your current circumstances, and that makes it even difficult to make feel better about this particular subject. Having a mixture like what Catherine has said would be better

(11 Dec '12, 11:59) kakaboo

Anyway, I understand how you feel because I feel the same way as you sometimes. But if you don't have much debt or aren't facing any major difficulties in your life, sometimes it is just great to just sit back and let your life unfold by itself instead of worrying about it all the time and take a break from all of these and come back to it again in the near future

(11 Dec '12, 12:01) kakaboo

@Catherine- Excellent answer. I agree. Tackling big issues head on daily just wouldn't be practical. Big issues and small issues are all linked anyway. So by just moulding the smaller issues, you also chip away at the bigger issues indirectly. :)

(11 Dec '12, 13:22) Satori
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

Hi Nikulas,

Its pretty simple really. The better you feel the less your attached to outside circumstances.

When your in the Vortex you certainly notice what you dont have but you dont care that you dont have it. Stingray

Keep yourself in the Vortex as often as you can. Find ways to feel good. Everyone has the the ability to do this and that includes you Nikulas.

The question is if you were truly in your Vortex would you have asked this question?:)


answered 11 Dec '12, 04:28

Satori's gravatar image


edited 11 Dec '12, 04:42

@Satori - Yes, well said. We only want the stuff to feel better so if we're already feeling better anyway, the stuff becomes less important, or even not important at all :) How can I find something concrete to replace the 'stuff' that should have been reality but wasn't?

(11 Dec '12, 05:04) Stingray

@Satori- You've really developed this golden skill of being able to pull me out of the dumps all the time. Thankyou very much. My favourite @Stingray quote, ":)"

(11 Dec '12, 06:39) Nikulas

@Satori This is really the best answer you can give to someone every time. "I am so desperate. What should i do? - Get into the vortex NOW!", "My boss is going to fire me. Any ideas? - Get into the vortex NOW!", "I just thought that my left leg is longer than my right one. What do you... - Get into the vortex NOW!", "How should i tie my shoes? - Get into the vortex!" :) @Nikulas You might ask how to feel better. Just try to ALWAYS put feeling good first all day every day http://goo.gl/ciXEk

(11 Dec '12, 09:40) releaser99

@Stingray- Thank you, I agree. Thanks for that link to your answer. I would love to frame that one:) @Nikulas- Your welcome, glad I could be of some help. Yes that's an excellent quote and very true:) . @Releaser99- I agree, it really is the answer to everything:)

(11 Dec '12, 13:11) Satori
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

I have situations similar. I want to feel good about something, but when I think about that something, I feel bad. So how can I, or you, change our feelings in realtion to some "problem"?

The simple answer is that I cannot change my feelings about a particular negative situation, all I can do is change my focus to something I enjoy. Usually something completely differnt. Soemthing I CAN feel good about then Source has a chance to answer with a great solution!

Imagine that you have a powerful friend who can solve any problem. You take that problem to your friend and implore him to help you. You hand the problem over to him, but as he begins to tell you the solution, you restate the problem and how you are trying to solve it on your own.

He stops working and listens to you. You ask his help again. You interrupt him again. You ask his help again. You interrupt him again. It seem you don't really want his help, you just like restating the problem.

You must release and allow. How do you do this? You can say, "I am allowing you to work on this problem. Where is my ANSWER? Lord, give me patience, right now!

You can imagine your resistance dissolving, resistance to what? Solving the problem -- well, you just interrupted him again.

Go on vacation. Mentally. Emotionally. Enjoy. You can't forget the problem, so you must find something else to focus upon. Since we can't think about two things at the same time, Source has a chance to work on the answer.

Actually Source knew the answer all along, but you had too much mental clatter to hear it when you are focussing on the problem. Remember you really can not think of two things at the same time.

When you are focussed on the problem, you just plain can't hear the answer! Just change your focus to something else and the answer will appear.

I have a double your money back guarantee on this!


answered 11 Dec '12, 08:23

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill

@DollarBill "Just change your focus to something else and the answer will appear". Really good advice!

(11 Dec '12, 10:05) releaser99

if you want to make the world a better place take a look at your self and make that change. rely on your self and what you can do. that is your free will. you cannot change the free will of other and are not responsible of it. the only thing you can do with other is talk to them if they are willing to hear. if they are not willing to hear and refuse you 3 time don't waste your time turn around and go.each things you do is something you achive what ever the result outside everything start from the inside.experience and enjoy.


answered 11 Dec '12, 00:56

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

Extremely hypoctrical to the vast majority of teachings on IQ- where you change your feelings first, and then you go out and take action.

Never noticed it was this way around. Thoughts provide sparks for inspired actions, and action needs to be taken afterwards to realize those inspirations. The only reason to summon inspired actions within oneself first is to prevent undertaking action in defeatist-like manner. Which would be doomed to fail from the beginning. And it is inspired action that makes your eye light up and open up reserves of energy, which upon flooding your system makes you feel better.

Thoughts are not the only ultimate game changers, there are a lot of other things that can trigger feelings - music, pictures, scents.

Just like you can influence outer part of life, outer part of life can influence you.

One has to keep the balance between both worlds to use best of them both.

“Action is the antidote to despair.”

Joan Baez quotes


Seriously, can somebody tell me as it is straight- how can I fix this, so I can feel better (in the example) even before I go out looking for a job?

Thinking it's gonna be the best job you'll ever have, that's gonna bring a lot of joy and financial stability should get you fired up. Or insert whatever your expectations of your next job would be. Something to look forward to.


answered 11 Dec '12, 02:08

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 11 Dec '12, 02:12

Thankyou for your take on this.

(11 Dec '12, 02:24) Nikulas
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Asked: 10 Dec '12, 23:41

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Last updated: 11 Dec '12, 13:22

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