I have been harrassed several times on this site. I thought that was against the rules. I have never had a moderator come and stop the bully. I don't care if we attract it. If that's the case, the site should never play moderator for anything, because they attracted it too. What is the point of having rules if they are to be broken and then blame the 'victim' . I am not calling myself a victim, but some people around here can twist things around so that it becomes hurtful instead of helpful. We are dealing with peole here, just because you type into a computer, doesn't mean the computer is answering back. We are real live people with feelings. So, if you want to help people, don't bully people into seeing your view.
Why does Inward Quest, where we should feel safe to come and explore, allow bullying and harrassment? That interferes with our learning.
asked 12 Dec '12, 08:27
The question has been closed for the following reason "Question is off-topic or not relevant. Discussions like this should be taken to IQ Meta" by IQ Moderator 30 Dec '13, 14:36
I think the better question to ask yourself is..."Why do I allow myself to feel bullied and harassed?"
If you truly don't care if you attract these situations, then don't be surprised when they pop up in your life. You are the sculptor and the artist of your world and anything that happens in it comes from you and you alone. There is no other person actually "out there."
Everything in your life is just a (mirror-like) reflection of something inside of you anyway. You are the one creating everything that happens to you, and the particular version of everyone that interacts in your unique version of reality.
If you want to change the reflections that you receive, simply stop giving your power away. Stop focusing and putting attention towards the thing that you don't want. Even if means turning off your computer or staying away from what is bothering you for a lengthy period of time. Use that time away from your problem to focus on other things that make you happy.
There have been comments directed towards me or comments in general that I haven't agreed with here at IQ. I simply don't give them any power or focus. If I don't feel inspired in a positive way to respond, I simply won't respond. Even if numerous comments in a row are made, I know that it doesn't affect me in any way shape or form unless I allow it to affect me.
When you put yourself in the victim mentality, you will definitely attract some kind victimization. I made myself the victim for the majority of my adult life and I sure found plenty of ways to be victimized. Ever since I started caring about "attracting my own reality," I no longer become the victim in any circumstance. If something that I don't prefer happens to me, it is an instant signal to look within and find out what is wrong at the core of my being.
Bashar has stated many times that "the world could be crumbling down around you in all directions, but if you hold the state of being that you prefer, you will not be affected by those things that are not part of your being-ness frequency."
This reminds me of a very unpleasant discussion that i had with my mother a few days ago. I was very angry about the conversation i had and so i did a focus block on this and then i watched an abraham seminar.
They said to someone in the seminar (I'm just rephrasing):
"Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? You usually cannot be both at the same time. So choose now!"
We often think that we have to be right in order to be happy. But often it's quite the opposite. We don't need someone acknowledging that we are right or acknowledging that someone should be punished for behaving not the way we wanted to. We don't need this kind of thinking in order to feel happy now.
In my own experience, I have found the best approach in these scenarios is to ignore, or detach completely.
However, it may so happen that you are in a situation where you must see this person on a regular basis (the workplace, for instance). In this case, if you must sometimes interact with the person, you can still emotionally detach from whatever they are saying or doing. In other words, you find a way to make yourself not care.
This skill can take time to learn and get better at. The ultimate pinnacle of this skill is when someone can literally scream in your face, and you will just not care. Or they throw a punch at you, and in an emotionally detached manner, you parry the blow, strike them back as a purely safety-enhancing move, and then when they are no longer a threat, walk away without feeling anything. This is the highest level of combative psychology that the (good) martial arts teach.
Much easier, however, is to simply ignore the person before it gets that far. And to cultivate a state of being where you do not attract these things.
And it should be even easier on an online forum!
Remember, you never have to respond to anyone here.
Occasionally, I might read a post here that "irks" me slightly. I always take a good moment to think about whether I really want to respond before making the decision to do so, so that I am fully aware and conscious as to why I am doing so...and conscious of the type of energy that is moving through me. Sometimes the person surprises me, and we end up having an interesting exchange of views, and I find myself the better for it.
If the exchange begins to make me feel unpleasant, however, I simply stop posting and abandon the thread.
Bottom line is, non-reaction is key.
Eckhart Tolle has talked at length about this subject in his books...I recommend them. Although he's not a LOA guy per se, this is one of the areas where he particularly excels.
I am confused because I can't find the posts that have led to this "question."
After finishing writing this post, I have come back to the beginning and want to say that it may be a good thing that I cannot find these posts. I might get into justifying and taking sides. Both @white tiger and @Fairy Princess have much to contribute!
It seems to me that the "moderators" rarely interfer with IQ. That they feel that as a person reaches an accumulation of points, they become a moderator. The points are derived from what the other members feel worthwhile and/or valuable.
As a person accumulate a certain number of points they become a "junior moderator". Greater points and they become a "senior moderator" with more editing priveledges, ie, to be able to edit other peoples' posts (not comments). These points can come slowly as a person integrates into the basic ideas of IQ.
Those that don't "fit" here usually leave on their own.
So IQ has been designed to be self-regulating. I think that Simon, Barry and Kathleen are slow to take action, often watching (possibly ignoring) comments between members, preferring that we work out our own resistance. This is one of the wonderful things this site has going for it.
When I first joined IQ, I, too, had a hard time with @white tiger. I am ashamed to admit this, but I found his posts trite and obscure. I was a pompous ass about this. But people here pointed out a lot of the same things, that I was reflecting back disuesful aspects of my own personality.
I went to work on this and a marvelous thing happened. I began to see a depth and profundity in @white tiger 's posts. It almost seemed that someone had edited his posts and took away all the things I had found objectionable!
But then I realized that the posts had NOT been edited. I was seeing with different eyes. Suddenly his posts (and others) took on a depth and profundity that I found very meaningful. A lot of other things in my life also changed for the better!
Yeah, I can still get my ass on my shoulders and decide that someone should be different, that they are posting disuseful stuff. But then I have a strong look at myself and reaize that there is value in the person.
Now, I enjoy @white tiger's posts and see no attacks. He states his point of view very simply and there is value there for me. Like all of us he is not perfct. You may have to read slowly and carefully, but he has much to contribute.
I also enjoy @fairy princess's posts, her passion, her THT and her explorations.
"As iron sharpens iron, so men sharpen men." (and women)
It is through our relationships with others that we define ourselves. Let us value the differences rather than trying to change them!
You know what to do. Stop these "it isn't fair" and "the moderators should do something..." posts and dwelling on this unfortunate episode.
You have an enormously powerful technique! THT! USE IT!!!!! The rest of this crap doesn't matter. Focus on your power!!
If you give attention to anthing, from any perspective, you are largening the problem and causing it to heat up more; hence it will be in your reality regardless. Energy flows where attention goes. It doesn't matter if you want to end bullying, you are still putting the spotlight on bullying.
Also, why not try the approach of welcoming 'bullying.' I agree with @Cory; use this experience as a springboard approach to discover your beliefs that are causing you bad feelings!
And I think you will find Bashars explanation of judgement to be very helpful as well, again, this ties in with his whole philosophy of 'passing the test.'
answered 13 Dec '12, 09:00
C'mon people..If the spiritual enlightened cant live together in one place peacefully, what hope does the world have?
answered 12 Dec '12, 13:39
The entire universe responds to your anticipation and constantly brings forth your anticipation into a "physical experience"
Everyone that is in your life psychically (unconsciously) responds to your anticipation and tries to participate with you in making all your anticipations into "real" experiences.
Examine everything that is within you right now (ideas) and let go of that which you do not want to happen to you.
When you clarify within yourself and loudly to the world the list of things that you DO NOT WANT TO HAPPEN TO YOU, The thing, which you do not want, now begins to exist within you.
As you think it, discuss it, and complain about it, IT begins to gather more and more momentum and validity within your consciousness as a valid experience that is intertwined with your physical experience.
As long as you express it in ideas, IT is waiting in the wings for the next opportunity to exist, physically, in your life.
Others that interact with you, psychically pick-up your ideas that exist within you and unconsciously act towards you in a manner to help you experience those ideas.
Their behaviour towards you is a product of your own anticipation and the inner "living picture" of what you see happening to you next.
The statement "I have been harassed several times in this site" maybe a recalled memory to you, but when you express it, it is still alive within you right now.
The fact that it still exists as an experience right now (as a memory) within you allows that experience to be broadcasted as an anticipation of something that you want to avoid in the future.
This living picture within you of "that which you want to avoid" becomes the psychic blueprint that everyone around tries to "live up to" every time they interact with you.
Therefore, everyone around you behaves in the manner in which you do not want them to behave.
Because that is the "living picture that is in your mind".
If you want the "bullying" to stop, you have to stop dwelling upon the memory of being bullied.
answered 13 Dec '12, 23:43
As in life, as on this site...
Some people believe they know the ultimate truth and they've defined their truth as the only truth...
And inspired by their own definition and belief they're standing atop a giant pedestal of their own creation...
And sadly, from their vantage point they can only look down upon the ignorant masses who need their guidance...
And in their sanctimonious tone they call others to their truth, the only truth; and that's their folly...
Although everything is a reflection within your Uni-Verse, Pop1...
To end the unwanted reflection, no reaction and no response is always prudent ♥
I have only seen a few unkindnesses here over the years and all of those were later apologized for. However, I have an open mind to what you are saying. Could you please provide some examples of harassment and bullying here on IQ for the sake of clarity?
answered 12 Dec '12, 09:15
I'm surprised to find that there are actually rules here on this site, given the fact that free thinkers like many of people are over here, would not need them.
Rules and moderation defeat the purpose of free thinking society.
answered 12 Dec '12, 09:07
Fairy princess the reason is that you are the one doing it. there is no bullying or harassing coming from me. you are the one trying to ignore and delete some pieces of the puzzle to play the victim. you have asked a question i have answer. if you are not able to accept it and want to push the issue judge and blame and not understand what i said to you. is it my fault? if you call me name drunk,monkey etc....... and delete it from the site so it does not show. is it my fault? if you spam my mail box with a load of comment is it my fault? if i answer you to help you out and you still do the same thing is it my fault? to the mesure you judge also will you be judge. am i telling you the truth? do i need to judge you? you are doing a pretty good job of judging your self. are you not? but if you do not want to see it keep deleting pieces of the puzzle. but the puzzle is still there. and it is not because you do not see,that some other will not see it.
answered 12 Dec '12, 13:14
same reason God allows suffering on earth, to help with the learning of those who don' t understand it yet.
answered 07 Jan '13, 15:28
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