someone asked a question about men that cheat on their wife. but there is some women that are looking out for men like that. they know from the start that the men is a cheater.do they really think that they will change him and keep him? if he did that to is wife he can do the same to the mistress. what is so attracting for a women to search for married men? the money the material possesion? the experience? the quick fuck with no tomorrow? from jealousy the competition to say i have add him also? for women that put the fault on men,there is 2 person in a couple a men and a women. so women are as guilty as men. be aware of that before casting stone.
I think that for many people sex is something they try to fit in the "God Shaped Hole" in them. People also use things, cars, possessions, to try to fill that hole, that emptiness inside them.
These things only work for a short time. Some people feel the thing, be it another person, or a material object is at fault, so they move on to another object, or person.
But as you often point out the inside of the lamp, the cup is not clean, so they keep trying, but their vision, their light is dim.
My personal opinion is that the single soul of Adam was split into male and female (Eve). That our curious draw to sexual union relates on a much deeper level to the Soul seeking union with male and female parts.
It's their perception... people only have what they feel they deserve. And just like @Dollar Bill said, they try to fill their insecurities and fears through people and objects. Maybe 'winning' the affection of a man who is abusive or cheats makes them feel loved and special.
It sounds crazy to the rest of us- we look and say, "why put up with that? There are so many men who would treat you so much better."
But they don't fully believe this- maybe they saw their own parents this way and have grown to feel that it's just the way relationships are.
It's just like all the people I've seen grow up and just take a minimum wage job- sure, there have been people who popped in and said, "hey! You can go to college, you can make good money and live an easier life." But this advice would always go in one ear and out the other- they don't believe it. They don't expect to be able to make enough money or live an easier life than their parents did. They don't expect good things and they don't pursue their dreams because they just simply don't believe its in any shape or form possible. Its just something they feel is just out of their reach.
It's the same with relationships. These people aren't expecting more- they expect the relationship to be hard and dramatic.
I wish, just like many of you, I could take these people and show them they really can have better. I read a blog from Steve Pavlina once about this though. He used an interesting example. Say there are two people, living in the same world but perceiving it completely different. Say one can only perceive the shapes of squares while the other can perceive a variety- squares, circles, triangles. How can that person introduce the other to new shapes? Even if they try to show them a circle, they still only see a square. This isn't the exact example SP used, but you get the idea. :)
answered 29 Dec '12, 10:52
I don't know, White Tiger. When I was still working in the security field, I would have to send my officers out to break up fights all the time. It would 95% of the time be females fighting over a man who was cheating on the both of them obviously. Why fight over a man who was cheating on them? Why want him at all? Worse yet, sometimes these ladies would each have a child fathered by the same man and knew it or had just discovered it. When we would question them, it seemed to be more of a competition over which was going to "win" the cheating man and thus seem on top more than it actually was about the man himself.
Even among older people who are cheated on, and seem to want to save the marriage, it is often about pretige, material goods, and "winning" the competition than it seems to be about love ad forgiveness.
Just my observations over the years!
answered 29 Dec '12, 09:57
This I have seen on the Jerry Springer show I used to watch. It would start with one woman, then another, then another, then another. All these women arguing and yelling, trying to pull out each others hair. Yelling "That's my man! We have three children!" All of them saying the same thing basically. If that is not bad enough, then finally bring out the poor guy that is now made to sit in the middle of this big brawl! So they are all beating on him saying you tell her what you told me, I am the one and only you love! He says something like no all of you are like my bouquet of flowers, I love you all! That never works and they all beat him!
It was a crazy show, they should have just given the women boxing gloves and a ring to fight out out for them selves.
answered 29 Dec '12, 16:14
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