For years I had this real fear of marriage and as a result I usually ended up in hopeless relationships. Having worked on my fear and the belief behind it I feel I am now ready to allow my soul mate into my life, so I sat down and for the first time in my life started to write down my description on my idea mate. It turned out to be a 2 pager! Am I being too specific? Will the Universe be able to deliver all the criteria or just the best possible match? My problem is that each of those things are extremely important to me and anything less will be a compromise and I'm not great at compromising:-/

asked 13 Jul '10, 22:40

I%20Think%20Therefore%20I%20Am's gravatar image

I Think Therefore I Am

I think Drham has hit the nail on the head - Be as specific as you want, include as much detail as you want and then hand it over to the Universe to deliver the goods, don't worry how he will arrive just know that he will.

(14 Jul '10, 01:50) Michaela

See also: How specific should your asking process be?

(15 Jul '10, 19:11) Stingray
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

I think the more specifc you are the better. The important thing is that you do not decide on the how. That is the work of the universe.


answered 14 Jul '10, 00:15

Drham's gravatar image


Hi you. You should defo be specific in ordering from the universe. Its the job of the universe to deliver after all!! I always used to say (when people asked me why I didnt have a boyfriend and what did I look for) that I didnt know what I wanted but I knew what I definately DIDNT want! You should never compromise on your hearts desire, YOU are the most important person in your life after all. xx


answered 19 Jul '10, 08:05

Mile3%201's gravatar image

Mile3 1

I was very specific when I wrote down the traits I wanted my future husband to have. And yes, it worked! I am with the right person for me now, and my husband has about 99.9 of the traits I had written down.


answered 14 Jul '10, 03:25

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1

According to buddhists, yes be specific.


answered 14 Jul '10, 04:57

Mari%201's gravatar image

Mari 1

I grow more and more excited as I read this!

I know that Law of Attracion works, but hearing that you already got results makes me feel even more eager.

My list is also very specific - I even dividied it into three columns: looks, character and interests. It would be hard to imagine it all in one person, but I will give it a try.

So do not worry I Think Therefore I Am, as you see a few people are doing the same.


answered 14 Jul '10, 14:39

Asklepios's gravatar image


@Asklepios lets make a deal - whoever finds their soul mate first announces it on this site so that the other one can hang in there:-)

(14 Jul '10, 18:45) I Think Therefore I Am

@I Think Therefore I Am - fine, but I do not think I will be first. I am willing to wait years for my soul mate, and please note that I am only 19. ;)

(14 Jul '10, 20:33) Asklepios

LOL then I definitely hope I beat you to it:-)

(14 Jul '10, 20:51) I Think Therefore I Am
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

I find it scary not to be good at compromise. I think thats what relationships are about. Nothing wrong with being specific in our desires. I think placing a rank of priority on those desires could bring a new perspective and at the same time help the universe out. :-)


answered 14 Jul '10, 15:29

rob%20jones%20in%20rewiew's gravatar image

rob jones in rewiew

Hi Rob, we have to decide whether we will trust the LOA or not. If you ask the universe for a list of things and then you start to prioritize then you are sending the message that you are not trusting that you will receive what you are asking for. Once you are in the relationship there is nothing wrong with compromising but when you are requesting of the Universe there is no need to compromise.

(14 Jul '10, 16:54) Drham

@Drham you are right when I said I'm not good at compromise I didn't mean I don't compromise in relationships just that in my desires I don't like to settle for anything less than what I really want.

(14 Jul '10, 18:43) I Think Therefore I Am

Anyway I think you are being a little too idealistic. You wouldn't get a partner anywhere near your match without using Law of Attraction. Underline what is most important to you and leave the less important feats optional. I too get the impression that I am making a goddess. Maybe we should add "ability to learn" so that she would get the virtues we want. Just joking though. ;) I am not being specific regarding physical appearance because the details doesn't matter that much while the character is great.


answered 16 Jul '10, 16:44

Asklepios's gravatar image


Most of my list also pertains to qualities not physical charachteristics, and the list has come about as a result of all the lousy relationships of the past - let's just say I have experienced the contrast so now I know exactly what I don't want hence what I really want:-) By-the-way I'm really impressed that a 19 year old is such a regular contributor on this site wish I had started this early.

(16 Jul '10, 18:51) I Think Therefore I Am

Thank you. :-) I have to admit that a vast part of my list is also a response to the vices of a certain person.

(17 Jul '10, 07:39) Asklepios
Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website



Asked: 13 Jul '10, 22:40

Seen: 1,068 times

Last updated: 19 Jul '10, 08:05

Follow this question

By Email:

Once you sign in you will be able to subscribe for any updates here



Answers and Comments

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or _italic_
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text]( "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Related Questions