Emotions are a reflection of the relationship between our values and our (REAL) beliefs. The gap in my case is so deep that it is causing me a lot of pain. As in, I think of suicide several times a day and will break into tears at random times during the day because my beliefs tell me that my values are outside my reach, that my life essentially no longer has any value.
I will see people giving advice which attempts to bridge this gap by modifying values; please don't, what that feels to me is like you are siding with the beliefs and trying to force me into submission, sort of like being raped. I have struggled a lot to get a different set of beliefs to stick and to the degree that they do, I feel absolutely wonderful. That feeling fades (sometimes faster than others) as evidence keeps piling up to contradict it.
I'm heartbroken everytime I see people living much fuller lives while I struggle to even keep myself together emotionally. What I mean by that is, I feel great for a while and then I compare my actual life to that of other people and I think "I'm just lying to myself, this is not the life I want for myself and I'm not truly happy". I feel like I have wasted my youth and this has created an immense time pressure to get things done.
Yes, I have read the material, you don't have to repeat it to me. I just can't get it to stick and there are some ideas in them (particularly Bashar's material) that actually make me feel worse. Listening to Abraham has taken me out of the vortex as often as it has moved me in. I have tried doing focus blocks and my mind literally goes blank because I can't find any "better feeling thoughts" which feel believable. I have tried distracting myself with whatever I can and even if I manage to do that, once I'm done with it (and quite often the distraction itself triggers awareness of lack) I am back in the exact same, if not worse place.
I don't know how to handle my existence anymore. I wake up and I go to sleep. Then I wake up again and this isn't my life, I don't belong in it. There is a sense that I can't change my beliefs because they are simply the truth and it is hurting me.
EDIT: So the answers I have received so far are basically this: you can't, just abandon all your values. Not that anyone really cares, I'm not going to say this to get some kind of sympathy just to make myself understood. It is not the pain that makes me seriously consider suicide, it's the meaninglessness and futility of life. I don't need a process to "not feel bad" because when I am considering suicide, I am NOT feeling bad, I'm in a serene state of acceptance, you could say I am emotionally exhausted. I need a process to feel good, which from my experience happens when I align my beliefs with my values.
I hear your feelings of deep desperation and powerlessness speaking. But understand that this is not you. This is just your emotion speaking (writing). I don't want you to do anything or be obedient or whatever. I'm just a person who was there where you are right now. I'm not better than you and you are not better than me.
I just know how it feels when it seems if there is no way out. So i know that this is just the fog of emotion keeping you under control right now. You will find the best answer yourself anyway. You are your own teacher...always! You don't need any advice!
But i will give you one tool to loosen that grip of emotion so you can make better decisions for yourself. If we want to make any changes for the better at all we have to first come out of deep desperation.
Give it 15 minutes if you are at least 1% willing to change anything. Or just ignore it if you don't and you only want to justify yourself. And always remember: You don't have to justify anything at all. People here really, really, really............really don't care about your life and about you. It can sometimes seem as if they do. But they only care about themselves... including me, which is not a bad thing at all. Because everything every human being does is for his own benefit...everything. That's the nature of this thing called earth. You are your own master, teacher and judge. You are responsible for everything. Nobody will pity or dry-nurse you.
Just a tip here. Watch this video and do this technique for your feelings of desperation and powerlessness. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=y2nBjyTPvTI
If it helps, good for you. If not, you won't loose anything and you won't have to justify anything. And in both possible cases just remember that nobody cares at all what you say, do or think. Oh, and if you ignore this whole answer... nobody will care either. And nobody cares what you will get from this tip. Nobody knows you. You are just a nickname with 10 letters in here.
answered 17 Jan '13, 19:41
I found this from Abraham quotes in my emai just now, and it made me think of you.
I think this is about how you do it, this is is how you start: Dare to dream a dream, and don't lose sight of it. Think, wouldn't it be wonderful if.... And run with it.
*Abraham giving the empowered version of the story of Martin Luther King to a mother to give to her 7 year old son: "So, the empowered version goes like this, the story through the eyes of Source goes like this: All of us are born into this environment of contrast, and some of us really hit the ground running. And there was a man that you will hear a lot about. His name was Martin Luther King, and he was such a man. He was born understanding that things could be so much better than they were. And he, rather early in age, after a lot of struggle and living with things that were injust, which I don't want to go into, HE DISCOVERED in all of that an IDEA that was so much BIGGER and so much BRIGHTER that he gave his undivided attention to that dream. In fact, he became FAMOUS for that dream. He gave SPEECHES about that dream. And people gathered from far and wide because they SO LOVED hearing him talk about what was coming because in his talking about what was coming, he distracted them from what was. And EVERYONE felt uplifted about it.
But (pause for audience applause) he practiced it for a while, and as long as he was telling the story to himself and to those who were close, to those that really believed the dream with him, he held himself in vibrational alignment with the dream. I practice that every day, son, say to your child. I practice that every day. It is my quest to stay in vibrational alignment with my dream and not let the reality of what-is bind me. I want to be progressive and continue to move beyond. And then, this dear man - I suspect that what happened was that as he got out there with so many others looking at him, that somehow, someway, he lost sight of his dream momentarily. His stream moved faster and faster and faster and faster but he was surrounded by those that he began, even though it was never his plan to do it, to begin to push against. And when one pushes against in a very fast-moving stream, abrupt things happen. He was shot, say to your son, he was shot by those who did not understand him and by those who did not even WANT to understand him.
And in one fell swoop this man, who had conjured and given birth to this magnificent dream re-emerged POWERFULLY into the Nonphysical, where he lives it fully. Say to your child: I believe that he still speaks to you from his broader, Nonphysical perspective. I believe that his dream still LIVES. And I believe that NO ONE needs to get shot over it if NONE of us PUSH IT in the FACES of those who do not understand. It's trying to get others to AGREE with us about out dreams that causes BACKLASH. But when we just DREAM them ourselves, when we come into alignment with who we are, the RESOURCES OF THE UNIVERSE come into alignment with us, and ALL DREAMS are answered from ALL PERSPECTIVES, no matter who is asking. THAT'S the story of this man that I want you always to remember, because there are a lot of versions going on.
There are those who are still dreaming the dream, and I KNOW with every fiber of my being that that's the way HE would want you to hear this story. THAT was his dream."*
("OK," and "Thank you," from guest (the mother), and lots of wild audience applause, cheering, whistling.) From the Abraham-Hicks Mexican Well-Being Cruise, 1/20/08"
Maybe, just maybe, if you're open to this: look into vitamin deficiencies and how they affect our thinking. I am not a medical doctor, yet it's something I wish I could have discovered decades ago. Just maybe you can look into it, or simply drop this suggestion altogether :)
Google "Niacin and Depression". Read testimonials and watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7K2tqxKf2EE. It's quite encouraging. Niacin is 100% natural, yet reacts like an anti-depressant in larger doses. I am not assuming you are depressed, yet from your post, I sense a deep level of sadness, and felt moved to share what transformed my long-term depressed state. For I totally understand when depressed (or profoundly sad for long periods of time--which is medically titled depression), it's beyond challenging to see the "light" and feel good or even open and receptive about any-thing! It's an uphill battle. I know first hand, as I have had huge, massive challenges with clinical depression since adolescence--a long, long time. Vitamin therapy (Niacin) has done wonders for my life and created space to feel better, which led to the ability to focus more on what I want, and even the ability to grasp and apply concepts of Law of Attraction.
answered 23 Jan '13, 11:09
life as always value it is what you make of the time imparted to you that makes the difference. if you have reach the bottum of the barrel and decide that you have experience it enuff and tortured your self enuff,you can make the first step on your journey of a thousand step,start by knowing your self meditate. if you do not know your self how can you know others?
It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle.
how long did you live only on the outside trying to conform to the patern of this world? is this world you? why do you take the wide gate of destruction? take the narrow gate and know your self. if you do not know your self you live in poverty and you are that poverty.why do you let the world dictate who you are? many in this world are in darkness and they do not know them self and they are that poverty in this world they cause war,famine,sickness,judgement,hate,discrimination,etc... all for their ego that want money,power,success,popularity,etc... if you lose your self to gain annything of this world is it worth it? but if you know your self then you will be your own light and will help your self and your brother and sister. the truth will set you free.
so let there be light,Be the light that you can be,experience and enjoy.
answered 18 Jan '13, 07:54
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