I was taking out my contact lenses tonight, and caught a glimpse of my hand in the mirror. Because it was reversed, it, just for a second, looked like someone's else's hand...and it looked old! What a shock. My insides feel like they will always be 25, but the shell I am inhabiting this time around is....well, half-cooked, shall we say- and that does not please me a bit.
My Grandmother just passed on last week...she was two months shy of her 103rd birthday. So I hope to have many more years, but perhaps not as many as she...her last years were not so great. We never did get that five-generation picture we wanted...how sad....
I guess this is a bit of a ramble, but we are all on the conveyer belt, so-to-speak, and whether you are 25 or 85, aging affects us all. Just recently, for no particular reason, I have lost my ability to see in certain conditions, but they don't know why. This really bothers me, because it means that I am getting older, and the body parts are starting to show a teeny bit of wear. But how does aging affect you? Do you care? I know some do not. I am somewhere in the middle, I think.
How can i cope with my own aging in a better way/ How do you cope?
This is my Grandma at 102. I am sad she is gone, but am glad her suffering is over. Emma Gorr Hartley May 27, 1910-March 4, 2013
I am sorry to hear of your sadness at your grandmother's passing. Like you, I too like to think more of the end of suffering and the commencement of happy reunions than I do of loss, but it hurts when someone near and dear to us transitions to another state of being than we are used to sharing with them, even if it is only temporary. :)
This awareness of bodily aging and the feeling of dismay that you have somehow "lost" God looks like it has all been triggered in you by this event.(?) Maybe I assume too much, but to me, nothing could be more natural and understandable - and thankfully, also temporary. You want loving, comforting, and reassurance that all is well. Or it may be better to say, I do, when I am in a place such as yours at the moment.
Jai, you are handling it all just fine. We neither of us had enviable childhoods, so no sense in looking back there with any longing! I'm kidding with you :p (sort of), but seriously, being young is about being healthy and resilient in mind and spirit, more so even than in body, I think.
That "conveyor belt" (LOL!) we are all on - we may all arrive at the same destination, but there's no reason to decide you can't enjoy the ride. Pick an age that you like, and stick to it in your mind. :)
I like @ele's suggestion to channel Grandma (thanks @ele, I want to give that a try). Somehow, for me anyway, the term "channeling" seems easier than "contacting the dead". :) I think your first reaction to the idea to "wait a bit" is interesting and intuitive. I don't know a whole lot about the hereafter, but that reminded me of a experience I had when my mom died.
She had been suffering and was very negative, confused, and angry. She had ended up by refusing to speak to me anymore. I dreamed soon after she died of her coming to me and saying angrily and sarcastically that she would not be available to me for a while. (I had been speaking to her out loud since her passing.) A few months later, I had another dream in which she came to me full of nothing but love, in what felt like her full personality somehow - completely free now of all anger, blame, worry, strife, or sadness. She was all joy - she felt whole and completely Mom. It was wonderful, and did seem to go along with some of the things I have heard of people going through something of a cleansing and healing, restorative period after physical death. The dreams were also much more than dreams; more real than reality. As I said, I don't know a lot about these things, but this was my experience.
Hmmm, quite a bit of rambling here... :) Hope something in there was useful for you. I've probably told you that story before, huh? Haha ah well, I felt strongly about sharing it here, so I will let it be. Maybe someone out there needed it.
I hope things feel better to you soon, Jai. All is indeed well. ;)
Love, Grace :)
answered 16 Mar '13, 15:35
like it or not our body
answered 20 Mar '13, 20:22
I think I am handling it pretty well, and I am about to turn 54. I see some of my friends and family get physically sick at the mere thought of their next milestone birthdays, such as 40 or 50, and thankfully I do not have that mindset. These birthdays didn't bother me at all. Would I prefer to always look like I am 30? Sure. But we all know being 30 forever would get tiresome in time....say in about 300 years! LOL! OK, it is pretty much a given that we would all prefer to not age in appearance and only in wisdom and knowledge.
But when I see the struggles that many of those younger than me are going through: trying to raise their children in this century, trying to get ahead at work, worrying about income, kid's college funds, mortgages, promotions, divorce, emptiness, being forced to pursue advanced degrees and too many pressures to even recount....well then I am glad I am in my 50's and past much of that. I am in a comfortable place now where I am not in a constant struggle to achieve what society expects. It is so much more relaxed in this place and that offers a peace and beauty all its own. I have time for gardening, pets, travel and self development. I do still work a bit, but definitely on my own terms; it is much different than climbing the corporate ladder when I was younger. I am comfortable in my own skin now. It's aging skin, but that's OK. The gray hairs I am finding are OK too and even pretty. I never again have to worry about getting pregnant or about any monthly inconveniences so sex is better than ever. I am still learning and growing...and enjoying life more than ever. And that is a beautiful thing. I like this place I am in. I would prefer to not age, but I am accepting it well. And when I move on to the next plane, fearlessly, that will be an exciting new start.
Sadly, I have no advice for you since we all see it differently and I do see so many struggling against it. But it's all in the attitude! If you can learn to accept it in peace, keep your sense of humor about it, and see it's beauty you will be OK.
answered 20 Mar '13, 23:25
The older i get the less i look in the mirror lol, having said that, age is what i feel inside,
sometimes i feel like i'm on death's door
other days i feel sprite as a child
most of the time i feel like i'm 20 years old(i'm a lot more than that)
answered 16 Mar '13, 03:09
I used to be scared...until the day I got to know this guy.
Now aging is a laughing matter to me. And no you don't have to suffer like majority of old folks do.
This answer is marked "community wiki".
I cannot handle the aging process at all and the idea terrifies me to the point where I find comfort in the notion that I am not forced to age because I always have the option of checking out. Actually terror is not the right word, it is sad more than it is scary. I think the aging process is the most cruel thing there is in life and it casts a shadow on it larger than death itself and I wish I could free people from it. At 27 I feel disturbingly old. I will never be an old man and I have no intention of ever learning to handle the aging process. I think for many of these reasons, the death penalty is more humane than any prison sentence lasting more than a decade.
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