I have gone from ecstasy to utter emptiness..

God is gone, and I am sad.

He seemed so real before...I remember when I saw His Mind, His Love.....

And now, nothing. Nada. I feel the Dark Night of the Soul. I feel the pain, the loss, of my spirituality. There is no one to blame, no one to scream at, no one to cry out to and help me through this, because I always used to turn towards God. But when I do, I feel just a black space. It feels like a bomb went off in my spiritual life.

alt text pic C. by Jai- please credit Jaianniah if you copy

Can you help me?

Jaianniah (Leah)

asked 16 Mar '13, 06:40

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 17 Mar '13, 09:05

I've found all external conceptions of God to be delusions. Not to say the internal conceptions went much better. Who is this God you cannot find? It is probably an idol and therefore it fades in and out of existence based on your attention. The real God is a rock, it is always with you because you cannot exist without him. Maybe the real God is clearing out the idols to remove that barrier in your relationship with him.

(16 Mar '13, 07:24) flowsurfer

I often doubt God's love, resent him, even hate him. My relationship with him sometimes involves fear and sadness. I never doubt God's existence. Neither should you. There is nowhere to go to find God, he is not an object, he is the substance of objects. You can only try to understand him by looking at what he creates in your world, because that is him speaking. It helps sometimes to admit that I don't understand God. I don't know if that is helpful to you but it's the best I can do right now.

(16 Mar '13, 07:36) flowsurfer

@flowsurfer- Great answer- you should convert it to an answer! I like the idea of God cleaning out all the idols...Thanks! <#

(16 Mar '13, 08:16) Jaianniah

@Jai strange, last night, that is, about 12 hours ago, i dreamed or had the clear impression of a bomb exploding in my head

(17 Mar '13, 09:10) ru bis

@ru- Sorry about the bad dream, but it is neat- like the picture I made- you think?

(17 Mar '13, 15:07) Jaianniah

@Jai rather a good dream, i wasn't frightened by the explosion just surprised, there and gone in a flash ... seems to me your picture is a photo of the "bang" in my head ... possible definition of a bomb= destructuration by violent energy using a timing device-seems good to me :)

(17 Mar '13, 15:37) ru bis

@Jai does the large hadron collider ring a bell? :)

(18 Mar '13, 06:15) ru bis

well @Jai, the large hadron collider certainly rings a bell for me, let me explain. Your picture and the picture http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:CMS_Higgs-event.jpg representing the CERN atomic smasher look very similar ... your question "where did god go?" and the publication the 14th march 2013 that the god particle had been found are in sync. ... further more when we name something we destroy it, we absorb it's power; i feel sure that you feel at this time that god has gone simply because

(19 Mar '13, 03:04) ru bis

@Jai it can now be scientifically considered that god has been "captured" by human science and thus his power over us has been destroyed and absorbed by humans.

(19 Mar '13, 03:07) ru bis

@ru- How cool...and how prophetic! (Ahem, meet Jai, the Prophet) Only kidding...but everything is synchronous, everything matters. Neat.

(19 Mar '13, 06:13) Jaianniah

i bow to you great prophet @Jai

(19 Mar '13, 06:20) ru bis

it is interesting that God does not need us to know Him in order for Him to exist, yet creation flows from Him so that we find Him

(21 Mar '13, 14:45) fred

@ru- tee hee!!!

(23 Mar '13, 04:47) Jaianniah

@Jai ... :)

(23 Mar '13, 04:58) ru bis

@ru bis don't fear the explosion. It's either your brain firing up or shutting down for the night. That's the story I tell myself anyway.

(23 Mar '13, 05:19) ele

@ru bis Was the impression of an explosion in your head an image or a sensory perception either visual or auditory. I have the sound of the gun going off on occasion. If auditory, perhaps this will link will be helpful. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exploding_head_syndrome

(06 Apr '13, 03:47) ele

@ursixx what do you think? Past life? Vibrations from a parent? or perfectly logical scientific explanation?

(06 Apr '13, 03:55) ele

I don't know about @ru bis but it's not really scary. A sensation of shock for a moment or two is all. I understand or know I'm not dead. It's a weird sensation/experience. Also, mine happens in the back of the head - like I'm being shot from behind. All this info contradicts the info in the link . . . FWIW @ursixx

(06 Apr '13, 04:37) ele

He's hiding in my closet, says he didn't want to hang out with people who bother him all the time anymore, so he came to my place knowing that I won't beg for anything or put him on the pedestal and stuff. I guess you'll find him in his usual place once he's refreshed his batteries and will be ready to return to his position of being worshiped, begged and followed around by millions of people who don't give him a break.

(06 Apr '13, 04:58) CalonLan
showing 0 of 19 show 19 more comments

God is all things and is in all things, God is everywhere. To find the connection with God, we must simply look in our hearts. Our body is a temple of The Living God, and our heart is the Holie of Holies, to put it in Biblical terms. God is Love. Love is felt in the heart. Live from your heart and not your brain. When the negative thoughts come, replace them with possitive thoughts. Most of our negative thoughts are not our own anyway.

One of the 'voices in my head,' or 'demons' is what I did wrong, after almost every interaction I have. I recognize this voice as being a recording of my mom being replayed in my mind. So I decided that when that nagging voice replays in my head, I will replace it with thoughts of what I did right. So, I want to start listing at the end of each day five things that I did right, well or good that day. I also want to set an intention to be a blessing to others each day.

If we create our reality by what we focus on, we can change our reality if we change our focus. Focus on the good, the lovely, what you desire. If negative thoughts come into your mind, don't add to it by beating yourself up or anything like that, just change your focus to what is good.

Love yourself, as the temple of the Living God. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and veggies, especially green leafy veggies, and a range of colors of veggies. If you are not getting enough sunlight, because of being indoors, or using sunscreen, then you may have Vit. D deficiency.

Love and blessings


answered 16 Mar '13, 13:23

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess


Kind, simple, and from the heart! TY, FP!!! I will take your advice. Love to you, Jai

(16 Mar '13, 17:11) Jaianniah

Thank you. Love to you

(16 Mar '13, 19:35) Fairy Princess

Simple answer to this one.

Youve lost your old concept of God. Your waking up now, you will soon realise who you are.

The old evangelical christian god is dissapearing from you. He never really existed.

You will soon find HIM.....as YOU.

You will soon have and maybe are already having the revelation "OF" Christ. When He gets revealed you will realise that there really isnt anything else. Your ideas learned from bible college will become irrelevant. When i say revelation OF Christ i dont mean this as the saved,redeemed,sanctified nonsense the churches of this world preach.

You will soon physically see Christ.

Your entering the most exciting time of your life.

You can take this or leave it, it makes no difference.


answered 16 Mar '13, 09:12

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera


Thank you for converting my negative into an exciting positive!

(16 Mar '13, 09:55) Jaianniah

love this explication

(16 Mar '13, 10:29) ru bis

How can an omnipresent god ever leave (forsake) you? God is everywhere, through the good and the bad.

Understand that even through the hardest troubles it is all a part of the plan for the larger good.

Everything is unfolding perfectly.


answered 16 Mar '13, 12:42

arpgme's gravatar image


You feel emptiness? then you are well on the road to finding him, or whatever you choose to name it ... "A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet"- Nisargadatta Maharaj.

Here is one way of quieting the mind


and here is a practical vibrational device that can open the passage to multidimentiality, it's the symbol of a 9 petal flower representing the 9 energy bodies

ffalt textff

reinforced with the 4 essential forces; thought, conscience, life and light.

The graph should be placed flat on a table and put in line with the earth's magnetic field by orienting the top of the graph towards the north pole, then place a photo of yourself on the center of the graph for the duration period of meditation. This way your energy body enters into perfect resonance with the earth's energy.


answered 16 Mar '13, 06:59

ru%20bis's gravatar image

ru bis

edited 17 Mar '13, 03:37

@ru bis- amazing..., can u pls tel me ..what are the results of using this graph?

(17 Mar '13, 07:25) supergirl

@supergirl it's entirely subjective, each person is different and therefore you can only know by experience

(17 Mar '13, 09:05) ru bis

thanks for editing whoever it was

(17 Mar '13, 09:14) ru bis

@ ru bis- still,can u share ur experience? n one more thing i wanna knw , are u from india?

(17 Mar '13, 13:05) supergirl

@supergirl i live in france, as for sharing experience i don't know how :)

(17 Mar '13, 14:39) ru bis

@ru bis- ok..

(19 Mar '13, 05:41) supergirl

@supergirl my way of sharing experience is largely through my postings on inward quest ... thanks again @simon :)

(19 Mar '13, 06:07) ru bis

@ru "i don't know how" ? You don't know how?

(23 Mar '13, 05:22) ele
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

I was reading some texts by J. Krishnamurti on this site, Jai when I saw you question.(many tabs open today) You say you cannot find God but do you really know what you are looking for?
Are you looking for something that maybe you have changed your definition of?
Is it possible that even in that black space resides that what you call God too?

Who, or What, is "God"? (multiple-choice format)

A) A big, bearded authority figure who makes the rules.

B) A word that refers to something mysterious, genuine and sacred.

C) Whatever It (or He, She, etc) is, It (He, She, etc) definitely has a sense of humor.

"TAKE THE QUIZ!" says the cartoon picture. D) Something that people pray to when they get into trouble, and forget about shortly after.

E) A "Something" who created mankind in order to teach them a few lessons.

F) An concept that mankind created in his own ideal image and likeness, which helps us cope with a life of inevitable suffering and death.

G) "Something" that created the universe.

H) Thomas Aquinas: The unmoved mover, the uncaused causer.

I) "I don't know, never will know, and think I don't want to know. Do I know that for sure? No."

J) An absolute, infinite, eternal, transcendent, immanent, intelligent, omniscient, omnipotent, good, something.

K) Richard Rose: A being we conjure up that surmounts all space and time, and then pretend to know on a first-name basis.

L) Something that seems to have been very active a long time ago (in the days of the burning bush, parting of the Dead Sea, etc), but more recently has stayed hidden.

M) J. B. S. Haldane: "He seems to have an inordinate fondness for beetles."

N) A name we give to anything we don't understand or to anything that feels more powerful than us.

O) A something that has many human characteristics: desires, emotions, pleasures, jealousies, dislikes, and so on . . . to the extent that it seems as though we basically create It/Him in our own image and likeness.

P) Job: Something that bargains for your soul, lets you go through utter hell, and if you endure and pass the test, gives you a lot of sheep and cattle and other things.

Q) A highly effective name to drop when trying to win an argument.

R) Something that has a will that we are supposed to figure out and follow.

S) An absolute state of non-duality which is the root of being, unknowable by the mind which cannot be captured by words.

T) "Love." (And what is "love"?)

U) T. S. Eliot: "The still point of the turning world."

V) Voltaire: "If God did not exist, it would have been necessary to invent Him."

W) Something that gives birth to us, and soon after, kills us.

X) Something that is, at various moments in history, angry, jealous, loving, threatening, forgiving, wrathful, comforting. intimidating, and confusing.

Y) A single actor who appears in many plays using a different stage name ("Allah", "Jehovah", "Tao", "The Void", "God", "The Absolute", etc).

Z) Something that enjoys praise and adoration.

AA) The answer to The Problem of Life. And, the one who created The Problem of Life.

BB) It is the Ultimate Advantage that each side of a war thinks is on their side.

CC) Something that created and gives us life, health, love, and sight, as well as death, disease, hate and blindness.

DD) Home.

EE) Something that is "outside" and "transcendent to" the world.

FF) Something that is "inside" and "immanent in" the world.

GG) Something that makes some people blind, sick, maimed, and crippled, and occasionally takes credit for healing a few of them.

HH) H. L. Mencken: "A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh."

II) Something that created only the good things, and created something else which created all the bad things.

JJ) Something which "saves" very few and "damns" many more. (Also, Walter Kauffman (quoted out of context): "Surely, he must have some weaknesses if he saves only those who eat his son."):

KK) Thomas Szasz: "If you talk to Him, you are praying; if He talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

LL) Pindar: "What is God? Everything."

MM) Something you are born knowing, but soon forget.

"So . . . if man is made in God's image... - what does that say about God?" - Mike White NN) Something you are born knowing nothing about, and must find.

OO) Something that can be known, found, or experienced after death.

PP) Something that can be known, found, or experienced during life - for example, in "spiritual enlightenment.".

QQ) The guy who lit the fuse on the "Big Bang."

RR) The "something" that created the whole of the immensity of the universe, the incomprehensible origin beyond the most staggering reaches of the mortal imagination, the designer of the splendor and magnificence of all of creation, and is only able to communicate with humans through a book.

SS) "Why, oh why, do you prate of God? Whatever you say about God is untrue." (Meister Eckhart)

TT) "You," if you knew who "you" really are.

UU) "God is sex, unconscious and buried in the body."

VV) The Force: ". . . is what gives a Jedi his power. It is an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together."

WW) Nyogen Senzaki: "You cannot see it with your eyes. You cannot hold it with your hands. You cannot smell it with your nose. You cannot hear it with your ears. You cannot taste it with your tongue. You cannot form it in your thoughts. Here it is!"

XX) Whatever It is, if you are in touch with It, you'll be happy; if you're not in touch with It, you'll be miserable.

YY) Alexander Pope: "Know then thyself, presume not God to scan; The proper study of mankind is Man."

ZZ) Something that can be found by: chanting, lighting incense, praying, having sex, hugging, meditating, stretching, reading, being still, observing, worshipping, bowing, doing nothing, introspecting, immense effort, no effort, dying, sitting, being quiet, all of the above, none of the above, or various other methods.

AAA) Saint Augustine: A "circle whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere."

BBB) It is what is there when we - our "egos" - get out of the way.

"Yeah, it's a pretty good view from here." CCC) Lee Lozowick: "The Divine is not meant to be discovered in heaven. If that were the case, we would be in heaven, not here."

DDD) Ananda K. Coomaraswamy: "...an incessant multiplication of the inexhaustible One and unification of the indefinitely Many. Such are the beginnings and endings of worlds and of individuals beings: expanded from a point without position or dimensions and a now without date or duration."

EEE) Meister Eckhart: "To get at the core of God at his greatest, one must first get into the core of himself at his least, for no on can know God who has not first known himself. Go to the depths of the soul, the secret place of the Most High, to the roots, to the heights: for all the God can do is focused there."

FFF) God is "IT".

GGG) The Old Testament: "I Am that I Am."

HHH) Something that must be known and understood in a very real way if we are to find any true happiness.

III) I don't know.

JJJ) Richard Rose: "We take too big a step when we conjure up a God that surmounts all time and space and then pretend to know Him on a first-name basis."

KKK) Ranier Maria Rilke: "My God is dark, like a knot with a hundred roots that drink in silence."

LLL) Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov: "We can sense the presence of God, but we cannot say who He is. Even the greatest initiates will not be able to tell you. And if you ask them, they will answer with silence, because only silence can express the essence of the Deity. Indeed, it is not enough to try and say everything God is, and to say what He is not is not enough either. To say He is love, wisdom, power, justice . . . is true, but these words overlook the divine reality, they say nothing about the infinity, the eternity and the perfection of God. We cannot know God by talking about Him or listening to others talk about Him. The only way of knowing Him is to enter deep within ourselves in order to reach the region of silence."

MMM) Simone Weil: "It is not for man to seek, or even to believe in, God. He only has to refuse his ultimate love to everything that is not God. This refusal does not presuppose any belief. It is enough to recognize what is obvious to any mind: that all the goods of this world, past, present, and future, real or imaginary, are finite and limited and radically incapable of satisfying the desire that perpetually burns within us for an infinite and perfect good."

NNN) None of the Above

OOO) All of the Above

PPP) Other ___

What Is Your Answer? __

Only you know this answer.


answered 16 Mar '13, 06:59

ursixx's gravatar image


edited 16 Mar '13, 07:14


Love this...long but entertaining and really makes you think! Thanks!

(16 Mar '13, 08:45) Jaianniah

Please explain here why you downvoted

(16 Mar '13, 09:56) Jaianniah

I goofed up- I forgot I already up voted the question.

(16 Mar '13, 09:57) Jaianniah

@ursixx - This is wonderful, thank you for sharing. All of the ways humans have been trying to describe/identify/label the god thing... It's like nailing Jello to a wall.

(16 Mar '13, 11:37) Grace

@Jaianniah - I've done that soooo many times! Thought it was just me. :) Sometimes it just doesn't seem to "take" right away. Sometimes, my fingers just slip on my tablet.

(16 Mar '13, 11:40) Grace

Me too , I like to call it a blonde moment , lol

(17 Mar '13, 03:03) Starlight

I do too & I'm not even blond.

(23 Mar '13, 05:23) ele
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

There is no abandonment with God. This is like a fish saying it doesn't know what water feels like. We can feel ourselves like God is not there but that is do to what we are choosing to place our attention at. Remember all the blessings God has given us. We received lots of free furniture, top quality stuff too that looked as good as new. God stopped blessing us because we haven't need of furniture.

We were blessed with an entire house of our own!

We have so much to thank God about! Look at our blessings and know that God is here.

I know we have bills and no money, things are being shut off from us. Your health really hasn't been too good. We can't give up on God, that is like drowning and you see a life preserver but reject it. God is our life preserver.


answered 16 Mar '13, 18:55

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

Jai , Last night I was rereading an old book by Genevieve Behrend , called Your Invisible Power , I know you can find it free online , it may even be in


a brilliant resource place

In her book Chapter 2 ...how to attract to yourself the things you desire , there's this line

"The Great Architect of the Universe contemplated Himself as manifesting through his POLAR opposite -MATTER - and the idea expanded and projected itself until we have not only a world , but many worlds ."

Once you get it that you are a thought of God/Universe , made from essence of GOD , you'll realise you are never ever disconnected , you CAN't be ,it's impossible

Everything there ever was or will be is God , solidified into matter .

I want to THANK YOU so much , because you triggered me to go back and look at this book , some how ;-) , I didn't SEE this the first time I read this book , but I SO DO GET IT NOW. Appreciation for any "thing" in my life is telling God I appreciate Him , for the thing is Him in hard form , WOW , what a revelation !

As you can see I am on top of the world now :-)


answered 16 Mar '13, 22:08

Starlight's gravatar image



Thank you for the reference! Thanks also for the encouragement! Love always, Jai

(17 Mar '13, 02:22) Jaianniah

Most Welcome :-)

(17 Mar '13, 03:05) Starlight

I just had this as an answer, It is from this previous question.

As for god. For me I do not see God as a driving force more than the force of creation and consistent gift of love and light, this would make me believe that he has no biases on what we do or do not do. It was once explained to me that love and light is a constant, that it is great gift. But also understanding that we may take or deny this gift. The only true test of us giving or receiving it is through using the love for ourselves. It sounds selfish to some when I say use it for urself, but it is the truth. We have to be able to make this gift useful. If we attempt to love those around us, but not ourselves first, well it will not work. It is a reality of manifesting from the inside to the outside. It is only the caliber of how we are able to perceive ourselves of being worthy of that love and light(wisdom). He will not step in and do anything for us, and this includes preventing us form doing it for ourselves. This is the law of free will.

To add to this, i must explain that the lack of god is not true, It is only a reiteration of our own insides. I have had many many people feel so so disconnected lately. I assure you god has gone no where. In fact he IS a part of all things u experience and do not. God is not external whatsoever. He is not an outward driving force. This is the best explanation I have ever heard.

God is more than the sum of all the probable systems of reality he has created, and yet he is within each one of these, without exception. He is therefore within each man and woman. He is also within each spider, shadow, and frog, and this is what man does not like to admit. God can only be experienced, and you experience him whether or not you realize it, through your own existence. He is not male or female, however, and I use the terms only for convenience’s sake. In the most inescapable truth, he is not human in your terms at all, nor in your terms is he a personality. Your ideas of personality are too limited to contain the multitudinous facets of his multidimensional existence. ~Seth Speaks.- Jane Roberts.


answered 17 Mar '13, 15:28

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 17 Mar '13, 15:33


love is with u, because u r love

(21 Mar '13, 07:32) TReb Bor yit-NE

"love is with u, because u r love' love, love, love that Rob!

(23 Mar '13, 05:25) ele

I just had to post some reflections of my own.

The first is that the answers here are all very good, and it will be very hard to award Best Answer..so maybe I won't. But thank you for all your work and care.

The second thing I'd like to say is that it is not unusual for someone to lose their connection to God for a time. Many people have written about it. Quoting from Wikipedia:

The term "dark night (of the soul)" is used in Christianity for a spiritual crisis in a journey towards union with God, like that described by Saint John of the Cross. Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, a 19th-century French Carmelite, wrote of her own experience. Centering on doubts about the afterlife, she reportedly told her fellow nuns, "If you only knew what darkness I am plunged into."[1] While this crisis is usually temporary in nature, it may last for extended periods. The "dark night" of Saint Paul of the Cross in the 18th century lasted 45 years, from which he ultimately recovered. Mother Teresa of Calcutta, according to letters released in 2007, "may be the most extensive such case on record", lasting from 1948 almost up until her death in 1997, with only brief interludes of relief between.[2] Franciscan Friar Father Benedict Groeschel, a friend of Mother Teresa for a large part of her life, claims that "the darkness left" towards the end of her life.[3]

I do not claim to be a St. Therese, but I am sometimes very spiritual, and at other times hit spells of dryness, as described above. I think it is all part of the spiritual journey, and I am glad I cried out, for your answers buttressed me as nothing else could.

I thank you for them.



answered 20 Mar '13, 04:53

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 20 Mar '13, 04:54

(23 Mar '13, 02:53) ursixx

nice one ursixx :)

(23 Mar '13, 03:07) ru bis
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

God is always in the kingdom of light being aware of everything from the beguinning to the end eternal.Why do you say where did God go? You are made in is image,Be aware know your self,know the truth and the truth will set you free.Jesus was telling the truth I also told you the truth.I know where i come from and i know where i am going.

Jesus answered, "Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid, for I know where I came from and where I am going. But you have no idea where I come from or where I am going.


When you lift up the son of man that you are,above by being born of water and the spirit,then you will enter the kingdom(blessed are the peacemakers they will be called the sons of God.),With a pure heart you will see God.(blessed are the pure of heart they will see God.)

Jesus add teach all this can you not understand is word?

The word is truth,seek the truth and the truth will set you free.


The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."


Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony.


I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?


No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven--the Son of Man.



So let there be light,Be the light that you can be ,experience and enjoy.


answered 16 Mar '13, 23:08

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 17 Mar '13, 09:00

It is always darkest before dawn, have peace for this ecpilplse well pass and the light of your soul will surely return. For the those who are tested are those who will find greater reward to, so be strong, you're a warrior of God do not let the darkness dismay you.


answered 22 Mar '13, 12:55

Prophet%20Uknown's gravatar image

Prophet Uknown

I see you have been troubled lately. Your power is in your choice. All levels are represented. We choose by our feelings of which level we want to communicate. Feelings can be extended beyond ourselves, that is when we lose our sense of control. If you are depressed, the communication is cut off. The power of yourself has been given to a person, place or thing. When you realize that You are the creator of your life, your power returns. Don't blame. Do not make comparisons. You run the show. You always have, you just did not believe it.


answered 23 Mar '13, 02:35

The%20Knights%20Alchemy's gravatar image

The Knights Alchemy


"you run the show. you always have" absolutely my friend :)

(23 Mar '13, 02:40) ru bis

Good to see you @The Knights Alchemy

(23 Mar '13, 02:57) ursixx

God is with you no matter what, it may feel like he's not listening to your prayers but he is. He beside you any where you go. Pray do not lose your faith the devil is testing you stay strong and keep on praying.


answered 16 Mar '13, 17:08

Silvia's gravatar image


edited 16 Mar '13, 17:13

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