Couple with same beliefs or a couple with opposite beliefs?

What should one do when in a relationship/marriage with a person that has opposite beliefs and really desires to be with someone that understands and believes in the same things?

Is it wrong of me to desire a new mate that I can meditate with, talk about aliens and astral projection with, that understands that there is more then we are aware of and dont just think im crazy lol.

I know variety of belifes in a relationship is good to keep it interesting or just for the contrast lol. But how much of each way is..too much?

Surely a couple with similar beliefs would feel more connected, understanding, fun more as if they are a like, together, two ones that go together...conpared to opposite.

Is is okay to want a mate that has more beliefs alike then unlike?

Thoughts please...Thank you :)

asked 21 Mar '13, 16:56

ALI6NMENT's gravatar image


edited 22 Mar '13, 13:24

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

Any view point can be justified if you want to. But once you start defining what relationship is and what it means to you, you take life out of it. It will become hollow sum of definitions to fulfill.

It's the aspect of security and set ways people are looking for to hold on to. A way to secure that tomorrow the fulfillment of the void they've been searching for wakes up next to them.

And would you dare to live a life where you don't know if the other person is ever coming back...

(22 Mar '13, 03:24) CalonLan

Im sorry CalonLan, I don't understand.

Correct me if im wrong but are saying that there is no right or wrong because any way can be right or wrong by choice by the individual?

And putting things into boxes makes it more hollow when things are more complex and depend on many things and the individuals preferences?

(22 Mar '13, 05:45) ALI6NMENT

Which is missing the most important thing the... feeling, integrity, desire of the individual and connection to oneself to feel whole and complete without needing outside validation?

Enjoying the moment, following your bliss... not judging, labeling into boxes without feeling, trying to fill a void that can really only be whole and fullfiled by oneself?

(22 Mar '13, 05:46) ALI6NMENT

Seems like you understand very well, after all :)

(22 Mar '13, 05:51) CalonLan

I'm glad I understood your words CalonLan :) thank you for sharing your wisdom!

(22 Mar '13, 06:22) ALI6NMENT
showing 0 of 5 show 5 more comments

My ex and I had almost nothing in common, and it proved to be the downfall of our relationship. I just could not see what was so fascinating about his machine tool work, and he thought I was nuts for doing things like IQ and Reiki training.

No, you are not nuts for wanting more. The thing is, can you build on what you do have? Can you expand yourselves to each other? In my case, the answer was a resounding, "No!", but for you, it might be salvageable.

Think carefully, and tread softly, especially if you have children. You are asking yourself some good questions. The answers lie in your own heart. I suspect that you would have never asked this question if you did not already have some serious doubts.

Good Luck,

Jai <3


answered 21 Mar '13, 19:49

Jaianniah's gravatar image


Thank you Jaianniah, it seems that one can find bliss in any way you look at it but there must be more to it... maybe a stronger desire to stay with partner or stronger desire to find a new partner?

Maybe it is just I have a desire for something else but me ignoring it makes me feel uneasy. Maybe I thought its our opposites beliefs but really its something else. I will need to ponder and feel into this more, thank you

(22 Mar '13, 06:36) ALI6NMENT

Speaking of good questions - I suggest anyone contemplating marriage check out this book "Lies at the Altar" (the truth about great marriages) by Dr. Robin Smith. She makes some good points. It's worth a read.

(22 Mar '13, 22:47) ele

My husband and I are complete opposites in many ways. I tend to be introverted, and he has tons of friends. He couldn't care less about astral projection, reincarnation, meditation, travel, or Inward Quest. And I couldn't care less about the sports pools, softball games or the country music that he is interested in. He is a person of action, and I am sometimes too laid-back. I sometimes have a bad temper, he is calm. I like quiet and he loves to blast sports games on TV.

Who does he turn to when he needs to lower his blood pressure for a doctor's exam? Me! Who do I turn to when the sump pump needs fixing or the tire needs changing? Him! We balance each other out and I love it. Why would I want someone just like myself? That would be boring and one dimensional to me. And we do share some loves....our dogs, our families, baseball, Italian food, and keeping our garden and landscaping looking nice.

I can talk about my interests with my sister, my best friend, my Facebook friends, here at IQ and more. I don't need to share every interest with my husband!

My first husband was much more like me than this one is, and well.....we are divorced after many difficult years. Shared interests aren't a guarantee of happiness often times.

Of course, you would not want to be with someone who ridicules or disrepects your beliefs or interests though; that is another thing altogether. There should be mutual freedom and respect always.

If I had questions about all of this, I would read the Abraham-Hicks material on relationships. This might help with your decisions!

Best Wishes!


answered 21 Mar '13, 21:26

LeeAnn%201's gravatar image

LeeAnn 1


Nice answer LeeAnn..

(21 Mar '13, 22:02) Roy

Thanks LeeAnn for your words. I'm thinking it must be more to my feelings then just beliefs of opposition. I will ponder this some more, thank you

(22 Mar '13, 06:27) ALI6NMENT
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Asked: 21 Mar '13, 16:56

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Last updated: 22 Mar '13, 22:48

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