Even though I know that we are all here for a variety of reasons, and we have chosen the beginning and end of our physical time here, I grieve and hurt when the end time comes for those to whom I'm closest.
The acceptance of the loss of the physical body is something I battle with. Does anybody have any suggestions or solutions for me?
Thank you and blessings.
From my experiences, I would say that Grief and loss is a natural process since life is a continuous process of growth and transformation. Nothing every truly dies but rather is transformed to another state. For example when a plant dies, its nuturients are absorbed into the soil and used to fertilize another plant or to feed an animal. Similarly the human body is eventually transformed while the soul is released into the universe.
Grief is not necessary but most of us have not reached the level of consciousness to understand that. Hence we have to allow ourselves to go through the process of grief and slowly release our attachment to the loss of the physical body. It can be a sad and painful process but it is easier if we do not put up too much resistance and allow ourselves to accept the experience with little or no fear. Usually when we get past all the grief we find that we are in a better place.
answered 17 Sep '10, 16:42
Our Idea of Death
Unless we can actually remember what happened when we died at the end of one of our previous incarnations or life experiences, we don’t really know what happens to our consciousness at the time of our death. All we have is an idea of death and what death will be like for us.
From that state of not actually knowing, we decide what to believe.
This being true, why believe in anything other than a positive after-death experience? In other words, we all have free will to think and believe whatever we want about death or the ending of this life experience, so why choose and project a negative outcome? At the end of the day, whatever we choose to believe in is only an idea or a story that we make up and convince ourselves of anyway.
All of us pick up various negative ideas of death from our family, friends, peers, religion and society etcetera, throughout our life and it’s up to us to unravel all that. Personally, these days I can’t see how any kind of negative idea of death is useful or helpful.
I believe that at the time of my death I’ll wake up and realize that the life experience I just had was a dream. I’ll fully re-member or re-connect to the greater part of me, my soul self. My soul has always existed in a state of pure bliss in a place called heaven, the only real place there is :-)
After hanging out in heaven for let’s say 1,000 years, to use an arbitrary number, I’ll reincarnate into another existential dream, solely for the love and pure joy of peeking into yet another rabbit hole. OK, ok, there may be other reasons that I don’t know about or can’t remember at this time, but if or when I need to know them, I’ll know.
When I have full awareness that I’m my soul, I have zero fear of sending a piece of my consciousness into the dream state. I know that the power of love I hold for myself is so great that ultimately, no matter what reality I’ve delved into I’ll be drawn back to the greater part of me, my soul, like a snapping rubber band. And hence, there’s no need to fear death.
Death is a Celebration and Continuation
So seen in that way, the way I choose to believe, death isn’t something to be feared, it’s something to be celebrated. After all, why mourn someone who’s hanging out in a state of bliss while floating in an ocean of love surrounded by eternal friends and lovers, while having the time of their life? I’m sure that no one who’s currently dead wants anyone still in the dream state to be unhappy on their behalf; it just doesn’t make sense to me.
What is death anyway? De-Energize-And-Travel-Home - death is a withdrawing of focus and attention from the material world of dreams and a return home to where you’ve always been. In other words, by no longer focusing on physical reality you withdraw your energy from it, so it ceases to exist for you, but the soul state always and forever remains and thus, heaven is the only place to return to.
Trying seeing death in the same way as I do, as a new beginning and a continuation of the life that we are. Simply because there can be no ending to life; life is eternal!
answered 17 Sep '10, 08:36
As someone who has worked in the field of death and dying for many years, as someone who has personally lost several loved ones, my suggestions are.....
My Love & Blessings to you.
answered 18 Sep '10, 23:26
I, too, have experienced much loss due to the physical deaths of loved ones. These things have helped me: My mother always used to say "death is a pre-birth state. We've all been there, we just don't remember" Also, I believe the grief we feel is because we give a part of ourselves to those we love, call it a piece of our heart. When someone dies, they take that piece of ourself with them, but they leave a piece of their heart behind - call it memory. Grief is our adjustment to the missing part of ourself. Those that leave us are never gone until we forget them.
answered 17 Sep '10, 12:41
The problem is that we identify with the physical body as being who we are - that self conceptualized version of me so we can't accept or comprehend it never existing.
The only way we can ever come to terms with the loss of our physical body is to come to the realization that we are soooo much more than our physical bodies - they are merely vehicles we use to navigate our way in this physical existence.
Everything that is in physical form is subject to impermanence and until we come to an acceptance of this, I don't think we can ever truly feel happy in this physical existence.
The only way to come to terms with this is to cultivate a journey of introspection - go within and keep going within until you realize the truth of who you are at the very core of your being. I believe that those of us who genuinely look for the truth of our real nature and our eternal connection to All that is will eventually realize and experience it.
Although your loved one's physical body may no longer be here - their love and their spirit can never die and that is what remains.
answered 17 Sep '10, 17:56
My strategy of dealing with the loss of a loved one due to death is simple. I just believe that they have changed form i.e. from physical to non-phsysical and they are around just in another dimension where I cannot see or hear them and one day I will join them too. I sometimes talk to a loved one hoping they will be able to hear me even if I can't. It just makes dealing with death easier because one of the worst feelings about death is its finality to think that we will never see them again.
answered 18 Sep '10, 23:55
I Think Therefore I Am
Wasnt going to answer this thread as ive so little experience with death. My 26 year old nephew died yesterday at 3pm .
Im sure he has continued his journey and feel no sense of loss or pain from him.He was a troubled soul and now is at peace with God and himself.
The remaining family members.....What can i say.What is going thru my sisters mind as she goes to the police morgue to identify him this morning.
I pray the immediate family are filled with a knowledge. A TRUE KNOWING that he is safe and well.The only consolation is surely that we do progress on to something better and more liberating.Also a knowing that this is the truth is important.
This question is without doubt the most imporetant one we must all deal with.It lies at the centre of who we are and what we believe.
The situation in the question is the great common denominator.Regardless of station in life and religion.This seems a scenario that life will force us all to face. Graham
Beloved, I can feel your pain. From my experience, there were things that I'd do like taking an article of clothing of the loved one and try to inhale whatever essence, smell, was still attached to it. I would sleep in their room, touch all that was dear to them and spend days on end grieving. It is ok to miss him/her and their physical presence. In the begining I needed time alone in that room to lick my wounds and heal but later I allowed others to give me solace and relief by substituting them for my loss, I know it is not the same but it really helps if you close your eyes and imagine as though you're actually hugging and being hugged by the recently departed loved one. Please never forget, that your loved one wants you to be happy and joyous and now that he/she is on the other side will be helping you in all sorts of ways to recover and be happy, so stay open for happiness.....
Thanks and Blessings
answered 17 Sep '10, 10:27
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website