Feeling quite down today. Probably the last question I'll post on this website for a good while, so any feedback and hearing your personal stories would be greatly appreciated. I am not trying to be a downer here nor am I trying to discourage anyone, I am however becoming very discouraged on my own journey.
Let me explain, I have been aware of the law of attraction for 3 years, I have been practicing it religiously for 2 and every day try to improve my knowledge by studying a variety of different teachings on these principles. These things include The Secret, The Power, Abraham Hicks, CWG, Bashar, Hermetic Principles, Quantum physics at it's very basic, and then study the bible. I say this to put it into perspective that I have a solid grasp on these concepts.
Now, the reason behind why I am growing quite discouraged and especially today is for the simple fact that I came to this realization. I have been practicing these concepts for quite some time, though I have my negative days and cycles of depression from time to time, I can honestly say that I am positive and in that state of receiving (vortex) WAY more often than I am not and I have yet to see any clear results come from any of it. At this point in time and for the first time in a long time I am almost considering writing it off.
I am grateful, have been genuinely thankful for where my life is at this moment, I meditate on what I want, I am strong willed, purpose driven, treat people with kindness, and also analyze every single thing I want in life and WHY I want it, which I feel is the most important part of manifesting. Everything I want in life is for the sheer love of it, not any fear based, egotistic and avarice driven reasons. Every single time I get something going, whether it be career related, friendship, etc. it always is (and pardon my language) half assed manifestations. Something will build momentum, I will be feeling grateful for it and ready to see something solid and then BOOM, something happens in the midst of it and it's usually a massive contrast too.
If I truly didn't believe that this stuff worked I wouldn't have stuck with it for this long. I even adopted the mindset a while back "if I become the person I will be when I get the manifestation, I will be ready to receive it" and also years ago took into consideration that I wasn't ready to experience certain things because I wouldn't be able to handle them (lack of confidence, self doubt, immaturity, etc.) and back then took a stand to get myself in check. And for the most part I am NOW the person I had been striving to be. I don't get it. I am ready, I have been positive, I have ran through the list of things to do and would absolutely love to be able to help people out with these teachings and shed some light on those struggling, except I DON'T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.
Quite literally, career wise (which would be a great service to others if I could get it going) I will either get a sign of which direction to go and go %100 for it, then it turns out being nothing (multiple times). It doesn't matter if I go with the flow or take action, the result remains the same and I don't ever expect that either. Same thing goes for friendships, love, family and any other thing you could think of. Something good will happen and then bam, one step forward one step back. It's driving me nuts. Before you start analyzing me personally, no, none of this comes from desperation and I follow my instincts and inner guidance on everything, and can clearly distinguish co dependent attachments, unhealthy interactions, etc. with other people and am well educated on the subject. None of my interactions with people are the case.
One thing that's always thrilled me when I heard it was "believing is seeing", and I completely grasp that concept and literally every time I would think about that it would put me immediately in that state of mind. Today and for the first time, it's exhausting and angering to even think about. All I'm saying is, I've done my part, I've "believed" I've had faith, prayed, visualized, let go, everything. If the universe, source, god, or whatever you wanna call it requires those things, then I think it's time for IT to do the work. I've done MY part, it's time for the universe to deliver.
Sorry about the rant, and I mean no offense to anyone. But in the short amount of time I've been on this site you guys have helped me out tremendously :) I am asking for some of your personal stories, insights, thoughts, opinions, ideas. But more particularly your personal stories of those (what you'd consider) big manifestations or miracles in your lives that have made you believe in the way that you do. Particularly on career, relationships, health and friendships. Feel free to share your stories, and thank you if you actually read all of this.