You know these kind of persons that when they see something you got, they cannot avoid pulling a face and instead of saying something nice, they make an agressive/mean/unpleasant remark? They may even be tenfold better off than you are, but they are always coveting the things you have, the way you behave, things you do, etc.

What is the best way to handle them and their nasty remarks? What do you personally do?

Iago:
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.
Othello Act 3, scene 3

asked 29 Oct '10, 13:17

BridgetJones09's gravatar image

BridgetJones09
4.2k563


If you have a negative emotional response to their remarks, you become the problem, not them, and they win. Consequently, my strategy is to simply smile, or not react at all.

After awhile, they get bored and go away.

Remember, you control your own emotions, not them. If they can evoke an emotional response from you (which is what they are after), they control you.

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answered 29 Oct '10, 15:02

Vesuvius's gravatar image

Vesuvius
30.1k120104

edited 29 Oct '10, 15:13

Hhmmm...thought provoking answer...

(29 Oct '10, 15:14) BridgetJones09

I always get thrilled at them.

If someones envious of me then point one, its their problem anyway and point two i must be blessed in some way shape or form for them to be envious.

Its good news for me ,but not so good for them.

If their spending their time in thinking these thoughts its not your fault is it? You cant be responsible for what goes on in another persons mind.

Graham

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answered 30 Oct '10, 10:26

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera
13.6k1621

I think it's important to remember that when someone is envious, they are generally unhappy within themselves - they feel something is missing in their lives and try to fill that void by coveting what others have or blaming others for them not having what they want.

This realization makes it a little easier to feel compassionate toward them and not react to their behaviour. They're already hurting enough and reacting to them would only exacerbate the situation and draw you into their drama, leaving you feeling not so good.

William Penn's quote sums this up beautifully - " The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." They're suffering already through their own self created thinking - you can do both yourself and them a favor by merely ignoring their remarks and not taking it personally.

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answered 29 Oct '10, 21:17

Michaela's gravatar image

Michaela
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You're right, Michaela. It's just that when they leave you feeling not so good is when you kind of forget they are unhappy themselves. But when I am watching or reading "Othello", I feel sooo bad for poor Iago! A sad character indeed, the best in the whole play. Couldn't have been depicted better. I just need to remember that envious ppl who sorround me is just as sad. And then I love my dog the best. :) Beautiful quote, btw!

(02 Nov '10, 12:36) BridgetJones09

Oh so many players in our own universes. All have their parts to play. I also just smile and move along.

I only give energy to things that make me feel joy and good feelings. Any potential "buzz-kills" get avoided on recognition :). And if unavoidable, I'll just be entertained. What a nice feeling it is to know you don't need to change anybody just your own perspective.

Life is so much fun.

If you chose it to be. Simple is hard.

Surfing the Universe...sweet

Michael

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answered 01 Nov '10, 02:37

jim%2010's gravatar image

jim 10
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edited 01 Nov '10, 13:04

Vesuvius's answer is VERY TRUE.

It is hard to remember this caught up in the moment but it really is correct.

People only have as much control over you as you give them!

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answered 29 Oct '10, 21:15

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Back2Basics
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Asked: 29 Oct '10, 13:17

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Last updated: 01 Nov '10, 13:04

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