In respect to values I don't know where my place stands in this world. I know that the world want to see only confident people. To feel confident themselves. Otherwise no expression is valued without confident. I want to know till what extent a man a hold his confident. Every person love to live and except some cases where people pack-up their lives (please no assumptions, conclusions on the death of the person who commit suicide).

Nobody want to give time and respect to the person who is really hopeless. The person has to remain hopeful in front of others. If he doesn't do that however the people will kill him (in many kinds).

What should the person do if he always try to bring back his confident and fail to meet the parameters that require to success. Who is the one, really teach him the lessons of success if his strength is not supporting him (because of other deeds by other persons or himself). The option remain is to "surrender to pain" . If the person want to surrender he has to remain hopeful till the last corner point. If I'm the person who's present is this way. Let check it out whether I'll meet success(life) or failure(death).

I don't know why I'm here on IQ may be to make it complicated (as my life). A Lot thanks to IQ.

It all about analyzing the presence., no complains to anyone. Thank you.

asked 26 Apr '14, 06:43

PERFECT%20GOOD's gravatar image


edited 02 May '14, 06:22

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

I'm happy the life being so challenging and f__king.

(26 Apr '14, 06:53) PERFECT GOOD

"surrender completely to failure or death". This give rise to some kind of wrong expression. I think in real I don't understand failure or I mean to address "pain" which I wrongly termed as "failure". "Surrender to pain" this makes me feel good.

(30 Apr '14, 13:02) PERFECT GOOD
showing 0 of 2 show 2 more comments

"Nobody want to give time and respect to the person who is really hopeless. The person has to remain hopeful in front of others." I recognize this feeling so clearly. It's awful to feel that way, especially here on IQ, where there are so many loving people honestly wanting to help. In a way it is true, but not if you take a closer look at what is really happening (in my personal experience, anyway).

I remember years ago coming to the conclusion that when we suffer, we are all required to do so with a certain, acceptable level of decorum. Mustn't bother all the strong, happy people with our weakness, hopelessness, pain and grief. The problem was, I couldn't see what would be "acceptable" behavior, so I put on the best show I could manage, but it was never enough. I felt abandoned, unloved, and isolated, and I was bitter about it. It is a terrible feeling, I know. And I'm so sorry when I see that you and so many other people feel that way. My heart goes out to you, truly. I also have to admit that I still sometimes struggle with how to express myself when I'm not feeling my best. I have to remind myself it's a journey, and that there is no one, no one at all, who is perfect. Keep that in mind! :)

The thing is, the way I felt about myself and about other people, it was not quite right. Now that I have learned some things here at IQ, done some work on (for!) myself and changed the way I think, I feel so much better, and I can see things more clearly. I am now generally one of those happy people. Not always, but usually. :)

What I can see now is this: It's not about being always hopeful or cheerful or full of positive energy. That is the end result, certainly, but that isn't where it starts. It's about being willing to take responsibility for your own unhappy thoughts and feelings, and doing what you can about them. This, for me, was the very first step in changing my life, and I have to say, in my case anyway, it was a huge, challenging step.

You see, I honestly believed that my thoughts and feelings, circumstances and even my reactions to them "just happened". I believed that I had nothing to do with them, no control over any of it, so how could anyone suggest I "take responsibility"? Easy to say when you have a nice life, I thought. Nice to be you, when you're so lucky and blessed!

It seemed to me that it was cruel and unfeeling to suggest that my suffering was all my fault, as if I were wallowing in self pity - lazy, whining, expecting others to take care of me. That's how it seemed, like I was dismissed as "less than" everyone else. At best, I felt I was undeservedly outcast, misunderstood and alone. At worst, I would believe it was all true, that I was just somehow genetically inferior, or that the horrible things I'd been through had scarred me too much, so I could never fit in, and be like other people.

Sometimes I would think, "Well, if you had my past, or were in my present circumstances, you would be on you knees and howling! At least I can pretend, most of the time, to be normal like you." That made me believe I was pathetically heroic, that I could suffer more than my peers and still keep up some outward pretense of normality. That belief leads nowhere you want to go, take my word for it. I had it all wrong. I was coming at the problem from the wrong direction, and had to turn around and start again with some simple truths:

You are perfect. You are amazingly, blindingly beautiful. You are strong, vibrant, a magnificent creation. You are an extension, a manifestation of the loving energy that created the entire universe, in fact, you are all there is, and you can do anything. :D

Start from there. The other things that I believed about myself, that I was unlucky, helpless, sad, and hopeless, were picked up along the way, but they are not me, and they are not you. They are beliefs, and beliefs are simply thoughts that you think over and over again. Your beliefs set your personal vibration, and all people and circumstances that match your vibration will align with it, and keep showing up in your life.

The good news is, you can change your thoughts. I strongly recommend doing the short, easy, Abraham-Hicks guided meditations every day. I can't say enough about those meditations, but I gave it a go here. ;) You'll find links to the meditations there, too.

Change enough of the thoughts you don't prefer to think, and you will change your beliefs. Change your beliefs, and your new, higher vibration will attract better thoughts for you to observe, better circumstances will line up with those better thoughts and beliefs, and your life will get better and better.

alt text

You don't have to think wonderful thoughts, just one, even slightly better feeling thought will help. Then just do that over and over again. Our @Stingray gave us Focus Blocks, an easy, simple daily practice that helps you do this.

Always, reach for one better thought, one that brings you even the smallest sense of relief. Keep on doing that. I am still doing that, and it is still working, and it's been almost two years. :)

There is a ton of great advice here for you as you go along. Don't bother with the tiny percentage of negative posts you might find, just ignore them til you feel stronger. My advice is to look for any writings of @Stingray, @releaser99, and @Cory to begin with. I would trust them with my life. In fact, I did. :)

Love, Grace :)

P.S. Need a quick boost? Turn your speakers up all the way, and click here.

(Dedicated to our @Stingray, the Master of Happy.) :D!


answered 26 Apr '14, 13:20

Grace's gravatar image


edited 26 Apr '14, 14:52


I'm happiness doubled. Thank you ha ha ...

(27 Apr '14, 03:13) PERFECT GOOD

@Grace Love to your answer. I consider to put it in practice.

(27 Apr '14, 04:52) PERFECT GOOD

amazing grace, loved it v v mch. thank you. God bless you :))

(27 Apr '14, 08:11) supergirl

@Grace You are perfect. You are amazingly, blindingly beautiful. You are strong, vibrant, a magnificent creation. You are an extension, a manifestation of the loving energy that created the entire universe, in fact, you are all there is, and you can do anything. :D

(27 Apr '14, 12:08) ursixx

@Ursixx Wow so good.

(28 Apr '14, 00:00) PERFECT GOOD

@Wade Casaldi - That's the spirit! :)

(29 Apr '14, 00:43) Grace

@PERFECT GOOD, @supergirl - I'm glad you liked!

(29 Apr '14, 00:47) Grace

@ursixx - Oh my mirror looks so much better since I've known you. You never let me get away with a moment of low self-worth. Love you! :)

(29 Apr '14, 00:52) Grace

@Grace My heart goes out to you, truly. Thank you very much for this. You truly addressed my situation.

(29 Apr '14, 04:06) PERFECT GOOD

@Grace I Love you.

(29 Apr '14, 04:07) PERFECT GOOD

@PERFECT GOOD You are perfect. You are amazingly, blindingly beautiful. You are strong, vibrant, a magnificent creation. You are an extension, a manifestation of the loving energy that created the entire universe, in fact, you are all there is, and you can do anything. :D

(02 May '14, 23:20) PERFECT GOOD

I want to appreciate myself, so I collected @ursixx wonderful truths and gave it to myself.

(02 May '14, 23:24) PERFECT GOOD

You know what you should do is copy that text. And hang it next to a mirror. Look yourself in the eye and repeat it to yourself with confidence and strength. You will see how powerful beilf changes can be. @PERFECT GOOD

(03 May '14, 02:35) ursixx

@ursix I definitely do it.

(03 May '14, 02:41) PERFECT GOOD

@Grace just think of me as the Windex in your life. The veiw in your mirror has always been great. But sometimes we need a little glass polish to see it clearly ♥

(03 May '14, 02:42) ursixx

@Grace When I read your answer my attention is intensified to understand my present situation at that time.

Now I read it again. In four paragraph whatever you have mentioned I understand the heat beats of your. I feel sorry about it. I can still compare the pain of your heart of that abandoned moments you have experienced.

I thank to God, that you are over through it & now ok :)

(03 May '14, 10:04) PERFECT GOOD

@Windex - What a lovely thought, thank you. :)

@PERFECT GOOD - I honestly believe that if I can make this change, just about anyone can.

I see now that I practiced my own misery - fed and encouraged it by focusing my thoughts on it, as much as I now practice, feed and encourage my own happiness. It's not easy to admit that, but to me, it is an essential, inner revelation that can't be avoided or smoothed over. You really do get to decide what you think, and therefore how you feel. :)

(03 May '14, 12:30) Grace

I believe you Grace., I feel encouraged. Thank you.

(03 May '14, 12:49) PERFECT GOOD
showing 2 of 19 show 17 more comments

For some, confidence is just a ego tool or a smoke screen. It is one thing to have the answer(s) and be confident in your ability, and quite another to have a false bravado based on the ego. Many bigots, religious zealots, and cult leaders are confident, but their confidence lies in something untrue.

Now to truth. There is no extent to hope and no such thing as a hopeless situation. People may believe that they are in a hopeless situation because they are limiting themselves to only one point of view. As Grace alluded to above we think we need to act a certain way to not stir the pot or make waves among the people we are surrounded with. However, if we were real with one another, if we could really see the hearts of those around us we would see clearly that they also are suffering with their own unique pains. You perhaps are simply brave enough to put a voice to it, that is the only way to heal. Ignoring something does not make for a better situation. A person who can admit their truest and deepest feelings is not a hopeless person, they are a brave and real person. That is the path to real confidence, not the screen people put up and pretend that everything is ok all the time. Keep fighting...


answered 29 Apr '14, 17:52

Silverbird's gravatar image



if one would know the truth he would not have to fight against any one or pick a side this religion is better then this one. he could understand all of them know what is true about it and what is false about it. they all proclaim to be from the truth then why the need to fight? why are they rebelling against one and another? "Son of man, you are living among a rebellious people. They have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people.

(29 Apr '14, 17:57) white tiger
1 maybe they want to prove that the bible is telling the truth about them. even if they cannot accept it. it would be better for them to overcome remove that darkness and be the light that they can be. do not let your heart be trouble be of good cheers. Well you cannot say that I have no sense of humor.

(29 Apr '14, 18:00) white tiger

@ white tiger - I hear you friend. I come from a fundamental christian background (we are right and you are going to hell if you don't agree kind of thing). Your quote from Ezekiel is exactly the mentality. If someone does not agree it is because we are living in a wicked and sinful generation, not because the way they think is downright hostile, outmoded, and wrong.

(29 Apr '14, 18:24) Silverbird

@Silverbird Thank you.

(30 Apr '14, 08:21) PERFECT GOOD

@white tiger I love Jesus teachings.

(30 Apr '14, 08:40) PERFECT GOOD
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

I know I have enjoyed you being here in IQ. I can't as much say that hopefulness is in regard to each person as much as it seems as in regard to the moment. Some people seem naturally more hopeful, they have made hopeful a habit. But as well we must think of the optimist and pessimist, these seem like a born trait but I believe not so much. I believe that and have experienced that these traits can switch within a person, that a optimist can turn pessimistic and get depressed. This can also happen to the pessimist that the pessimist turns optimist as well. However there does seem to be a set point that to each is own and hence inclined to level toward eventually if not presently.

So there are times where I may feel hopeful a lot for everything, but other times where even something small can set my mind to, "What is the point, I'm tired of this!" I can't say it is as much an amount of time as it seems more to do with reflection on life and does it seem like I'm progressing or not? Where I am progressing I can feel hopeful but where life seems failing or stagnant or confusing that hope fades away.

I think this is something that is experienced by all, peeks and troughs, it is evident in biorythm charts that this happens to everyone. It must be observed that as sure as there are troughs there are peeks as well and we will experience those peeks if we ride out the troughs. It helps turning to God and putting your faith in God instead of yourself, "If I can't do it then I'll let him do it." It is easier to trust in God to handle things because he created to universe, this should be easy for him to care for. But even that can backfire if we are feeling pretty low and feel like God doesn't care or have time for us. I will tell you this much as sure as we may feel hopeless that this is not permanent there are happy days returning in the future, keep up the mindset that, "Every day in every way, things are improving, and life is getting better and better." You don't even need believe that but say that every time you feel down. Say it as a affirmation and mantra. Put that in a subliminal program to flash on the screen. This is not just some feel good thing it is a fact because as sure as there are troughs there are as well peeks! Fight through the troughs and climb those mountains to the peeks, you can do it, you have done it and will again, it is worth it to stick it through.


answered 26 Apr '14, 11:27

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi


I'm listening.... Thank you.

(26 Apr '14, 11:57) PERFECT GOOD

Perfect Good,

You and I, and the other 7 billion humans residing on earth, belong to a race of Conscious Energy Essence Personalities. We exist to create. To become "successful" creators, we must learn how to skillfully manipulate the energy environment in which we exist. As energy beings (Souls), we can never know death. We can change form, just as all energy can, but we simply cannot be destroyed. Earth is a school, one of many space/time playgrounds where all that is educates its youth in the proper use of energy manipulation to satisfy our natural impulse to create. Apparently, incarnating and reincarnating multiple times in a three dimensional material world serves as the best way for us to receive basic training.

Consciously or unconsciously, you are creating what you perceive as your reality. Together we create what we perceive as the mass reality. All of this is done in accordance with the universal Law Of Attraction. LOA teaches us that we will attract what we give our attention to. If you are dwelling on your failures, you will attract and experience more of the same. Observe how your emotions are gradually moving from feeling "hopeful" and "confident" (positive) to despair, doubt and disenchantment. Your feelings/emotions are not some kind of psychological quicksand, from which you cannot escape. They are an internal guidance system, designed to help you navigate through life. In this case, they are simply telling you "Perfect good, warning, you are giving your attention to failure, check for program errors, check your beliefs about this subject. Pay attention to your thinking." Delete beliefs that are not serving you in a positive way. When your thoughts are back in alignment with your desires, your guidance system will show you though an increase in positive, hopeful, feelings and emotions.

Now, or at sometime in the future you will come to understand that all events in your life are born and raised from the beliefs you hold. Altering beliefs will alter your personal reality. Below are the beliefs revealed in your post, either stated or inferred? I apologize for any misinterpretations on my part. Any comments with respect to a belief are there to offer you a different perspective, which you may or may not choose to consider.

"The world wants to see only confident people." This is an unhelpful belief. Confidence is a positive quality that souls desire; they may spend many lifetimes filled with failure after failure in order to attain this goal. The "world" of souls wants only to see others "successfully" fulfilling their greatest potentials. This life may be solely devoted to confidence building for one and compassion for another. You might alter this belief to instead read, "The world wants to see people, who despite repeated failure, are confident enough to keep trying!"

"No expression is valued without confidence." Negative Belief. Suggested change to read: "By giving value to every expression, I can help someone to feel more confident about themselves and what they have to offer"

"Every person loves to live." (Widely recognized as the best way for one to deal with knowing they can never die.")

"Nobody wants to give their time to a hopeless person." If this is your belief, this will be what you experience. You create your reality.

"Nobody wants to respect a person who is hopeless." People are not going to respect someone just because they are hopeful either. We generally respect a person because of the qualities they have. We do not necessarily withhold respect from someone because of a quality they do not have.

"A person has to remain hopeful in front of others."
Maybe if you believe you have behave in certain ways just to please others. Remember, your emotions are there to help guide you. If you feel you cannot be yourself around people, I suggest you find new people to associate with, ones who are not judging you because of how you feel or appear.

"If he does not do that people will kill him in a number of ways." If you believe that, that will be your perception. Again, if these are the type of people you want to associate with, then you are surrounding yourself with their negative energy. No wonder you are feeling hopeless.

To be successful is to live. To be a failure is death. Your personal success in this life might depend on whether or not you realize how limiting and counter productive this belief is. Furthermore, your success may eventually come because of what your failures are teaching you, as is often the case.


answered 26 Apr '14, 18:21

i4cim2b's gravatar image


Truths are never been negative or positive.

(27 Apr '14, 04:03) PERFECT GOOD

@i4cim2b just you have rounded your lips and blew my question by appreciating your own knowledge without being experiencing any facts. Its been very clearly understood in your answer. Thank you.

(27 Apr '14, 04:18) PERFECT GOOD

@PERFECT GOOD Maybe I didn't quite understand the question. I thought it was about dealing with failure and the resulting loss of confidence. Over the past 50 years this has been my only experience as I have failed to be sucessful at everything I've tried, except for discovering the truth about the nature of this reality and the existence that I must endure. Truths are never negative or positive; truth is what it is.

(27 Apr '14, 12:21) i4cim2b

Beliefs, however, are not truths. They are repetative thoughts. that may or may not reflect what is true. They are valid expressions of conscious energy that can have an effect which, in our terms, is perceived as negative or positive. My own belief that I am likly to fail at any future attempts at worldly success is certainly a "negative" belief, which also effects my confidence negatively, In MY perception and by My allowing it be so.

(27 Apr '14, 12:36) i4cim2b

There are many things to appreciate in this life that I have yet to discover and many that I have discovered yet fail to appreciate. It is clear that my inability to suceed in the usual sense is due in part to my stubborn pursuit of knowledge, thinking that truth seeking was an acceptable career choice. What knowledge I have, and whether it is based in truth or not is not "my own". I had no idea that I would be able to learn it all in a few days from a future internet service.

(27 Apr '14, 13:09) i4cim2b

If I "blew" your question, I probably didn't understand it. For that, I apologize. However, I don't understand how "appreciating my own knowledge", has anything to do with the question. I don't share what I have learned just to satisfy my ego. I share what little I have learned in this life, hoping to help my fellow souls, born from the same ocean of being, who like myself, face many of the same challenges inherent to a life trapped in flesh. If my response doesn't apply, simply disregard it.

(27 Apr '14, 15:36) i4cim2b

@i4cim2b. I really liked and appreciated your answer. After starting to challenge my own beliefs a couple of years ago, I am astonished by the number of ideas I held as "truth", for which now I hold the exact opposite belief! And now since starting the process, I realise my own unchallenged beliefs almost on a daily basis and it's a wonderful thing to be free of these so called "truths", which are only false hand me downs from others or society. Your suggested new beliefs are very creative.

(27 Apr '14, 18:34) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty Thank you for that comment. I have something for you in case you haven't had a laugh lately.

(27 Apr '14, 18:59) i4cim2b

@i4cim2b you know what the truth is in this case, you should enjoy the pain you got it from my comments. Nothing can be disregarded just like that. Sorry sir, but I don't have enough strength to accept your answer.

(27 Apr '14, 23:24) PERFECT GOOD

I enjoyed dogs expressions. Thanks for the video.

(27 Apr '14, 23:27) PERFECT GOOD

@i4cim2b One of my fault in my life is all the time I tried not to pain anybody. Later I understand that pain is undistructable. I should manage to give pain or take pain. If able to engineer the pain then wonders happens. I think That is what you have mentioned "we must learn how to skillfully manipulate the energy environment in which we exist".

(28 Apr '14, 09:16) PERFECT GOOD

@i4cim2b I also understand that there is nothing that can be denied or ignored completely. I should just give access to all energies believing that "the best is all". Last but not least always be "Cheerful".

(28 Apr '14, 09:41) PERFECT GOOD

@i4cim2b I won't appology you, because it just separate me from you. Its painful not to appology you. But I think I can manage it and love it. I lost my father in 2008 but hope he would have guided me same as you did. I miss you dad.

(28 Apr '14, 09:47) PERFECT GOOD

@PERFECT GOOD There is no need for you to apologize. I have learned that I cannot blame someone else for causing me pain. No one can hurt my feelings unless I allow them. If I do that, then I am giving them control over my emotions. Why would I want to do that? How often do you hear someone say "You hurt my feelings" or "You make me so angry". They are really saying "I am giving you the power to control how I feel." Then they can use this power to make you feel guilt when you are not guilty.

(28 Apr '14, 12:59) i4cim2b

The guilt then turns to shame. The shame leads you to question your self worth, which lowers your self-esteem. Your confidence slowly dies; doubt and despair take its place. Then anger, resentment and depression which can make a person feel powerless. If the persons cannot accept defeat, they will have no choice but to fight the uphill battle to reclaim the positive emotional state they once enjoyed, all because they gave others the power to control their emotions.

(28 Apr '14, 13:02) i4cim2b

It is so much easier to choose not to let others affect my emotions in the first place. Most of my relatives, friends, and associates know that I will reject any attempts to "guilt trip" me, so they simply do not try. I, of course, must show them the same courtesy in return. I hope this helps you to understand why there is no need to apologize. You have done no wrong.:) I am sending a link to a PDF download. (It is available in many languages) I believe your father would want you to read it!

(28 Apr '14, 13:06) i4cim2b

"You make me so angry". They are really saying "I am giving you the power to control how I feel". Well said sir, its a real truth, I'll remember it. Thank you.

(28 Apr '14, 13:07) PERFECT GOOD

Yes it is.

(29 Apr '14, 01:14) PERFECT GOOD
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Asked: 26 Apr '14, 06:43

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Last updated: 03 May '14, 12:49

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