In respect to values I don't know where my place stands in this world. I know that the world want to see only confident people. To feel confident themselves. Otherwise no expression is valued without confident. I want to know till what extent a man a hold his confident. Every person love to live and except some cases where people pack-up their lives (please no assumptions, conclusions on the death of the person who commit suicide).
Nobody want to give time and respect to the person who is really hopeless. The person has to remain hopeful in front of others. If he doesn't do that however the people will kill him (in many kinds).
What should the person do if he always try to bring back his confident and fail to meet the parameters that require to success. Who is the one, really teach him the lessons of success if his strength is not supporting him (because of other deeds by other persons or himself). The option remain is to "surrender to pain" . If the person want to surrender he has to remain hopeful till the last corner point. If I'm the person who's present is this way. Let check it out whether I'll meet success(life) or failure(death).
I don't know why I'm here on IQ may be to make it complicated (as my life). A Lot thanks to IQ.
It all about analyzing the presence., no complains to anyone. Thank you.
"Nobody want to give time and respect to the person who is really hopeless. The person has to remain hopeful in front of others." I recognize this feeling so clearly. It's awful to feel that way, especially here on IQ, where there are so many loving people honestly wanting to help. In a way it is true, but not if you take a closer look at what is really happening (in my personal experience, anyway).
I remember years ago coming to the conclusion that when we suffer, we are all required to do so with a certain, acceptable level of decorum. Mustn't bother all the strong, happy people with our weakness, hopelessness, pain and grief. The problem was, I couldn't see what would be "acceptable" behavior, so I put on the best show I could manage, but it was never enough. I felt abandoned, unloved, and isolated, and I was bitter about it. It is a terrible feeling, I know. And I'm so sorry when I see that you and so many other people feel that way. My heart goes out to you, truly. I also have to admit that I still sometimes struggle with how to express myself when I'm not feeling my best. I have to remind myself it's a journey, and that there is no one, no one at all, who is perfect. Keep that in mind! :)
The thing is, the way I felt about myself and about other people, it was not quite right. Now that I have learned some things here at IQ, done some work on (for!) myself and changed the way I think, I feel so much better, and I can see things more clearly. I am now generally one of those happy people. Not always, but usually. :)
What I can see now is this: It's not about being always hopeful or cheerful or full of positive energy. That is the end result, certainly, but that isn't where it starts. It's about being willing to take responsibility for your own unhappy thoughts and feelings, and doing what you can about them. This, for me, was the very first step in changing my life, and I have to say, in my case anyway, it was a huge, challenging step.
You see, I honestly believed that my thoughts and feelings, circumstances and even my reactions to them "just happened". I believed that I had nothing to do with them, no control over any of it, so how could anyone suggest I "take responsibility"? Easy to say when you have a nice life, I thought. Nice to be you, when you're so lucky and blessed!
It seemed to me that it was cruel and unfeeling to suggest that my suffering was all my fault, as if I were wallowing in self pity - lazy, whining, expecting others to take care of me. That's how it seemed, like I was dismissed as "less than" everyone else. At best, I felt I was undeservedly outcast, misunderstood and alone. At worst, I would believe it was all true, that I was just somehow genetically inferior, or that the horrible things I'd been through had scarred me too much, so I could never fit in, and be like other people.
Sometimes I would think, "Well, if you had my past, or were in my present circumstances, you would be on you knees and howling! At least I can pretend, most of the time, to be normal like you." That made me believe I was pathetically heroic, that I could suffer more than my peers and still keep up some outward pretense of normality. That belief leads nowhere you want to go, take my word for it. I had it all wrong. I was coming at the problem from the wrong direction, and had to turn around and start again with some simple truths:
You are perfect. You are amazingly, blindingly beautiful. You are strong, vibrant, a magnificent creation. You are an extension, a manifestation of the loving energy that created the entire universe, in fact, you are all there is, and you can do anything. :D
Start from there. The other things that I believed about myself, that I was unlucky, helpless, sad, and hopeless, were picked up along the way, but they are not me, and they are not you. They are beliefs, and beliefs are simply thoughts that you think over and over again. Your beliefs set your personal vibration, and all people and circumstances that match your vibration will align with it, and keep showing up in your life.
The good news is, you can change your thoughts. I strongly recommend doing the short, easy, Abraham-Hicks guided meditations every day. I can't say enough about those meditations, but I gave it a go here. ;) You'll find links to the meditations there, too.
Change enough of the thoughts you don't prefer to think, and you will change your beliefs. Change your beliefs, and your new, higher vibration will attract better thoughts for you to observe, better circumstances will line up with those better thoughts and beliefs, and your life will get better and better.
You don't have to think wonderful thoughts, just one, even slightly better feeling thought will help. Then just do that over and over again. Our @Stingray gave us Focus Blocks, an easy, simple daily practice that helps you do this.
Always, reach for one better thought, one that brings you even the smallest sense of relief. Keep on doing that. I am still doing that, and it is still working, and it's been almost two years. :)
There is a ton of great advice here for you as you go along. Don't bother with the tiny percentage of negative posts you might find, just ignore them til you feel stronger. My advice is to look for any writings of @Stingray, @releaser99, and @Cory to begin with. I would trust them with my life. In fact, I did. :)
Love, Grace :)
P.S. Need a quick boost? Turn your speakers up all the way, and click here.
(Dedicated to our @Stingray, the Master of Happy.) :D!
For some, confidence is just a ego tool or a smoke screen. It is one thing to have the answer(s) and be confident in your ability, and quite another to have a false bravado based on the ego. Many bigots, religious zealots, and cult leaders are confident, but their confidence lies in something untrue.
Now to truth. There is no extent to hope and no such thing as a hopeless situation. People may believe that they are in a hopeless situation because they are limiting themselves to only one point of view. As Grace alluded to above we think we need to act a certain way to not stir the pot or make waves among the people we are surrounded with. However, if we were real with one another, if we could really see the hearts of those around us we would see clearly that they also are suffering with their own unique pains. You perhaps are simply brave enough to put a voice to it, that is the only way to heal. Ignoring something does not make for a better situation. A person who can admit their truest and deepest feelings is not a hopeless person, they are a brave and real person. That is the path to real confidence, not the screen people put up and pretend that everything is ok all the time. Keep fighting...
answered 29 Apr '14, 17:52
I know I have enjoyed you being here in IQ. I can't as much say that hopefulness is in regard to each person as much as it seems as in regard to the moment. Some people seem naturally more hopeful, they have made hopeful a habit. But as well we must think of the optimist and pessimist, these seem like a born trait but I believe not so much. I believe that and have experienced that these traits can switch within a person, that a optimist can turn pessimistic and get depressed. This can also happen to the pessimist that the pessimist turns optimist as well. However there does seem to be a set point that to each is own and hence inclined to level toward eventually if not presently.
So there are times where I may feel hopeful a lot for everything, but other times where even something small can set my mind to, "What is the point, I'm tired of this!" I can't say it is as much an amount of time as it seems more to do with reflection on life and does it seem like I'm progressing or not? Where I am progressing I can feel hopeful but where life seems failing or stagnant or confusing that hope fades away.
I think this is something that is experienced by all, peeks and troughs, it is evident in biorythm charts that this happens to everyone. It must be observed that as sure as there are troughs there are peeks as well and we will experience those peeks if we ride out the troughs. It helps turning to God and putting your faith in God instead of yourself, "If I can't do it then I'll let him do it." It is easier to trust in God to handle things because he created to universe, this should be easy for him to care for. But even that can backfire if we are feeling pretty low and feel like God doesn't care or have time for us. I will tell you this much as sure as we may feel hopeless that this is not permanent there are happy days returning in the future, keep up the mindset that, "Every day in every way, things are improving, and life is getting better and better." You don't even need believe that but say that every time you feel down. Say it as a affirmation and mantra. Put that in a subliminal program to flash on the screen. This is not just some feel good thing it is a fact because as sure as there are troughs there are as well peeks! Fight through the troughs and climb those mountains to the peeks, you can do it, you have done it and will again, it is worth it to stick it through.
answered 26 Apr '14, 11:27
You and I, and the other 7 billion humans residing on earth, belong to a race of Conscious Energy Essence Personalities. We exist to create. To become "successful" creators, we must learn how to skillfully manipulate the energy environment in which we exist. As energy beings (Souls), we can never know death. We can change form, just as all energy can, but we simply cannot be destroyed. Earth is a school, one of many space/time playgrounds where all that is educates its youth in the proper use of energy manipulation to satisfy our natural impulse to create. Apparently, incarnating and reincarnating multiple times in a three dimensional material world serves as the best way for us to receive basic training.
Consciously or unconsciously, you are creating what you perceive as your reality. Together we create what we perceive as the mass reality. All of this is done in accordance with the universal Law Of Attraction. LOA teaches us that we will attract what we give our attention to. If you are dwelling on your failures, you will attract and experience more of the same. Observe how your emotions are gradually moving from feeling "hopeful" and "confident" (positive) to despair, doubt and disenchantment. Your feelings/emotions are not some kind of psychological quicksand, from which you cannot escape. They are an internal guidance system, designed to help you navigate through life. In this case, they are simply telling you "Perfect good, warning, you are giving your attention to failure, check for program errors, check your beliefs about this subject. Pay attention to your thinking." Delete beliefs that are not serving you in a positive way. When your thoughts are back in alignment with your desires, your guidance system will show you though an increase in positive, hopeful, feelings and emotions.
Now, or at sometime in the future you will come to understand that all events in your life are born and raised from the beliefs you hold. Altering beliefs will alter your personal reality. Below are the beliefs revealed in your post, either stated or inferred? I apologize for any misinterpretations on my part. Any comments with respect to a belief are there to offer you a different perspective, which you may or may not choose to consider.
"The world wants to see only confident people." This is an unhelpful belief. Confidence is a positive quality that souls desire; they may spend many lifetimes filled with failure after failure in order to attain this goal. The "world" of souls wants only to see others "successfully" fulfilling their greatest potentials. This life may be solely devoted to confidence building for one and compassion for another. You might alter this belief to instead read, "The world wants to see people, who despite repeated failure, are confident enough to keep trying!"
"No expression is valued without confidence." Negative Belief. Suggested change to read: "By giving value to every expression, I can help someone to feel more confident about themselves and what they have to offer"
"Every person loves to live." (Widely recognized as the best way for one to deal with knowing they can never die.")
"Nobody wants to give their time to a hopeless person." If this is your belief, this will be what you experience. You create your reality.
"Nobody wants to respect a person who is hopeless." People are not going to respect someone just because they are hopeful either. We generally respect a person because of the qualities they have. We do not necessarily withhold respect from someone because of a quality they do not have.
"A person has to remain hopeful in front of others."
"If he does not do that people will kill him in a number of ways."
If you believe that, that will be your perception. Again, if these are the type of people you want to associate with, then you are surrounding yourself with their negative energy. No wonder you are feeling hopeless.
To be successful is to live. To be a failure is death.
Your personal success in this life might depend on whether or not you realize how limiting and counter productive this belief is. Furthermore, your success may eventually come because of what your failures are teaching you, as is often the case.
answered 26 Apr '14, 18:21
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