I've recently experienced a situation that has presented something of a challenge.
Rather than describe my own specific situation, I will posit an extreme, archetypal example that anyone could imagine themselves in.
Let's say you are on a ship in the middle of the ocean. And that ship is, for some reason, damaged and springs a major leak.
The ship begins to sink.
All around you, people begin to panic. Friends, family, and the other ship's passengers. There is no port nearby, and, based on the calculations of the ship's captain, the ship "must" sink.
But you are not worried in the slightest...because you have asked the Universe to get you safely to shore, and the Universe has never failed you. Somehow, you just know, a rescue ship will sail out of the fog, or a helicopter will appear, or someone will figure out an unforeseen way to patch up the ship.
So you're not too worried about it.
But meanwhile, everyone around you is panicking like mad.
And they look at you and wonder...
What the heck is wrong with him? Why is he doing nothing? Why isn't he rushing to help plug the leak to buy us a few extra minutes of life? Why isn't he saying his last rites with everyone else? Why isn't he rushing to comfort and sooth the frayed nerves of others in every waking moment?
Is he cold-blooded? Is he cold-hearted? Has he no compassion? Is he a downright psycopath?
What a horrible, awful [insert favorite expletive] he must be!
And as people observe this cool, detached, unconcerned manner in you, they start to react with outrage. Get in your face. Raise their voice. Judge. Attempt to manipulate. Whatever it is they feel that they need to do.
Now, the way I see it, there are a few possible paths to take:
I'm curious if anyone else has any additional thoughts, ideas, or suggestions.
answered 10 May '14, 19:12
Farmers had an old trick when they had a horse that was nervous and jumpy and out of control. They would put the horse in the pasture with the cows. "Put the horse with the cows" was the old saying. In no time the horse would calm down and act just like the cows. It worked everytime.
With people we seem to do the opposite. We are like the cows being put in the pasture with the nervous and jumpy out of control horses. As a result we turn into a bizerk stressed out anxiety filled individuals and for some bizare reason we think this is ok and normal!?? It takes an enormous amount of strength to stay calm around these people.
People will try to suck you into their beliefs because they believe that's the way you should be. You should do this or that, act this way or that way......because that's how "THEY" believe you should be acting. If you don't behave the way they think you should well then you're a piece of **...... They will use all their resources including yelling, screaming, throwing things, threats, manipulation tactics, whatever it takes to get you to act the way they want you to act, and they will never ever ever see things from your point of view.
When you resist these people, bad feelings of resentment surface and it's best to just "leave." It is best to stay away from people who are affecting your life with their insistence of trying to change you. Otherwise your whole life feels like the picture of the sinking ship in a storm.
Chef Marco Pierre White who is a famous British celebrity chef (Hell's Kitchen) and was at one time the youngest chef in England to have earned 3 Michelin stars. That's the highest rank in French cuisine. Gordon Ramsay trained under him. Then the day came where Marco decided to "Leave!".....watch the video:
answered 12 May '14, 12:13
ask them what it is they would have you do and
answered 10 May '14, 20:49
Here are my thoughts: Everything is a manifestation. That means that you are manifesting other people's reactions too. If their reaction to the events didn't mirror some belief you had, you would not be able to let this experience into your reality. You would not see them panicking about the sinking ship. Or perhaps you would, but it wouldn't bother you. You would feel completely neutral about it, so you wouldn't even have to ask this question in the first place, and you wouldn't have to think about how to react to their panic.
Everything is a mirror. So in your hypothetical situation, you could ask yourself whether it's really true that you aren't worried about the ship sinking. Perhaps a small part of you is afraid of what might happen. Or perhaps it's about something else - maybe you have a fear of people perceiving you as callous. Or maybe you have a belief that you are responsible for the way other people are feeling.
Or it could be something else, but there's definitely something there. Especially if other people are reacting so strongly, not just around you but towards you (as you said, "they start to react with outrage. Get in your face. Raise their voice. Judge. Attempt to manipulate.")
answered 12 May '14, 15:04
Some thoughts do come to mind in their usual random and disorganized fashion. I will try to restructure your sinking ship allegory to include these thoughts so that maybe they will apply to any similar hypothetical situations and possibly even your real world circumstances.
Using a sinking ship for descriptive purposes may seem a bit extreme to some. Consciously or unconsciously, however, you are aware that solutions that can be applied to such an "extreme" circumstance stand a good chance of working on any less extreme situation as well. It also covers any of the parties involved who might be seeing the real situation in such dire terms.
So, the ship has begun to sink. At this time, everyone on board is going to respond emotionally to some degree. Generally, the ones who respond in an overly emotional way will tend to ignore any attempts at logic or reasoning from both outside themselves or within. You must understand and fully accept that they alone are responsible for what they are feeling. They may feel a certain way towards your lack of emotion, try to blame you for how they feel, or assume that you should feel the same way. While acknowledging their feelings, do not hesitate to remind them that you are not responsible for how they feel. They choose to feel that way because of some underlying belief they have. You have no power over anyone else's emotions or they yours. This is a common and shared illusion that many people cling to. One has to ask; "Why would I choose to give someone the power and control over MY emotions?"
Having made this clear, you can then explain that what they see as a lack of emotion is simply you rejecting "fear" as a basis for your response to the situation. The trick is to apply emotion to your explanations (command, confidence, and conviction will usually suffice.) There is never a guarantee when dealing with people's emotions unless you can find and open a window to their reasoning, which has been overwhelmed by emotion.
"Now, the way I see it, there are a few possible paths to take"
I am guessing you are the type of person who would prefer to take an honest approach. Path # 1. "Continue to act honestly" is followed by a description which might fit if you are only "acting" honestly. In effect, all three of the suggested paths involve some acting on your part. Wanting to be honest and true to yourself be not quite in alignment with the feeling that you have to act or pretend in some way in order to placate the other people involved. This is understandable, because if you are to really be honest you will have to tell them that the reason your not worried is because you believe and hold faith that the "universe" will ensure your survival as it always has in the past. This honesty may not be so well received. People about to drown are not interested in a solution that sounds like something they once read on a bumper sticker.
You could however prepare a letter that explains your position with regards to the current crisis. That you are on this ship with them and the Captain (the one person who knows the ship better than the rest) has made his assessment and has concluded that the ship "must" sink. You refuse to give in to the fear that everyone else is succumbing to as evidenced by their fear based emotions and behaviors. You intend to get through this crisis as you have many times in the past. You are not concerned with fixing a sinking ship. Your only concern is to remain afloat when the ship goes under. No further justification for your attitude and behavior should be necessary.
I would bring to your attention one additional point to consider when relating your allegoric sinking ship to the real life circumstances. The idea that the universe will save "you" by sending a ship, helicopter or finding a way to stop the leak are not remedies that are consistent with saving you, since these remedies are big enough to save all aboard and likely would require some degree of collective faith in the universe. Since that is not the case, your rescue may not be in the way you would expect. You would do well to start searching the ship for anything that might float and the rations you might need to keep you alive while drifting on the oceans currents. The universe can save you in a way you do not expect. You do not want to miss the life raft, the universe sent for you, which happens to be in the crate you are sitting on while you wait for the ship to go down!
answered 11 May '14, 02:50
if people are afraid and judge other panic and do all kind of things to other that they would not like being done to them self does it help other or them self? why do they judge the person that is not afflicted by the same kind of ill as them? do you think doing bad to one self and other that will do the same to you is good or bad? if you can fix the boat good. if the boat reach shore before it sink good. if it sink and you have to take a life boat and swim to shore and you can do it good. if rescue come before the boat sink it is good also. acting from fear or desire and going in the extreme does not help you at all. what if the person can be the one to give you courage and faith what if he can guide you or show you a way out of your fear and your own entrapment would you not learn of is way o men of little faith. would you not say that the people that panic fear and judge other have all ready lost the fight against the storm inside of them self; then how can they win the fight against the storm outside of them self? How can you then overcome?
Yes you are afraid the boat is sinking. what is more important the boat or the living one in it?
Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.
In this enormous situation of a sinking ship or in any smaller situation of everyday life, every person and every circumstance that you encounter has to be a vibrational match to you. So if you are encountering people who are outraged with you or are "in your face" then there is something that you are offering vibrationally that has invited these circumstances into your life.
If someone is responding negatively to you, remember that everyone in this world has good and bad qualities. In a situation like this, your only job is to find a good quality in that person and focus on that. Focus on their best and whenever you encounter that person you will bring out their best.
A couple books describe what thought wins between the co creation. "TFN three principles to life" is the easiest book to read, but if you want a more challenging encrypted book, read principalities and powers in heavenly places ( written in 1800's). TFN is short and explains how behavior and morals impact the conduit along with the thoughts and emotions create the experience.
answered 11 May '14, 21:54
Your question itself so honest and practical.
For the beginners who shows change in attitude they definitely get bad comments or it not appreciated by people around.
But as you continue with the same thoughts with firm believe for over a period of time. Then that automatically strengthened your vibrations, helps to influence other minds.
It's wrong that we don't have control over people or circumstance around. Or people don't understand your behavior. People definitely understand it but try to drop your faith or want to test your faith.
Your belief definitely make difference. Only matters is strong faith. So, that people look at you, to understand what they have to do for themselves.
All that matters is, 'the time spent on practice' or 'no doubts on your beliefs'.
Love and Light.
This is an interesting subject that applies to life as well or even more than that ship.
The calm mind finds the answer, it is the mind that asks, "What needs to be done here to solve this?"
I experience this in my dreams, if I am having a nightmare, my mind goes into this, "What do I need to do?" mode.
When Jesus commanded the storm to be calm, he did it from a calm mind. His twelve followers were panicked. Peter said, "Lord if it is you, then by that same truth I should walk on the water too!" Jesus told him to come out of the boat, Peter did and was walking on the water. But as he was walking, his calm mind shifted to fear and he sank, Jesus had to pull him out because he couldn't swim.
The calm mind is at the center in control, when I am sparring two or three of my students, I am in a calm state of peace. I am in control of all of them because I know the direction I move or turn controls the direction they have to go to try to get me.
Most people could not handle that and would panic. Another thing people would do is be afraid and fear freezes you, you can not survive if you shut down in fear.
Maybe the answer is repair the boat but calmly, rationally and clearly. The calm, clear, rational mind controls the situation. If the ship does sink and you are going to drown, all the panic and worry does nothing for you. So you might as well to use a quote from Bob Marly "Don't worry, be happy."
Here is a Zen joke to remind you to stay happy.
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