Please, please treat my question with deep thought and respect, for I am trying to understand why I have felt this feeling my entire life...

I believe that, before I was born, I had the choice of when to "jump". I have mentioned this memory before here on IQ. I remember standing before a great vortex, and all my friends in Heaven were with me, as if I was going away and they were giving me a wonderful send-off party.

When I jumped into the Vortex, I found myself sliding downwards, as if I was on a helical slide. With each turn of the slide, it got darker and I realized I could not remember Heaven as well. I was determined not to forget it, and tried and tried to keep remembering. At some point, everything went very black, and I remember nothing after that until I was blowing out the candles on my second birthday cake.

My whole life, for the most part, has been a sort of horrific nightmare. I have not had a very good time living. I have suffered much, endured so much, and keep facing impossible crossroads wherein I always choose the wrong path. If I was Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz, I would be forever lost on the Yellow Brick Road, coming to crossroads, and always choosing the wrong path. This feeling of "wrongness" has been with me my whole life.

The Good News is that I have remembered Heaven! I know it exists; I know that when I die, I will return there. I also have learned that there is Free Will even in Heaven. God did not decide when I was to leave- rather, I just felt eager to get back on the physical plane- but I did not realize that I was going to "jump" too soon, and that I would jump into a physical existence that was just wrong.

But some Force seems to be trying to lead me to the right place, but because I jumped too soon, I am finding myself running out of time to do what I want to do- what I mean is that my body is very worn out, and I am getting to the point that it would be insane to try and start a new career at this age. But I still remain hopeful. God has led me to Wade, who is ten years younger than I (Go, Cougars!) and sometimes, that is a real hassle. But most of the time, things are great.

But I still feel that "wrongness" and am hoping and praying that I will eventually do something with my life that will that will serve God and humanity, and that I will die contented, having found the right path.

I have had a very awful time with my family just lately, which has resulted in my being call-blocked from speaking to my mom (my sister is a rich *itch and since she pays Mom's phone bills, decided to block me from speaking to Mom for whatever reason...It hurt so bad I cannot express the pain...)

I have expanded this idea into a Theory- that miscarriages, stillbirths, and even crib deaths may be due to the fact that that particular being just did not belong where he or she was, and went back to Heaven. The Soul just knew that it had "jumped" wrong. Maybe..maybe not.

But I would like to know what you all think about this. I am pretty sure that I was impatient and did not do God's Will when I chose to jump. So I have already learned an important lesson. I have had some wonderful moments in my life- but just brief vacations from the pain of living. I treasure these times.

So, my friends, what do you think? What can I do to make that feeling of "Wrong life" go away?

Many Blessings,

Jaianniah ♥♥♥

alt text

asked 14 May '14, 11:20

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 14 May '14, 19:37


Why do you suppose you chose such a difficult life?

(15 May '14, 19:12) Vesuvius

jai, it is no mistake

(16 May '14, 07:12) fred
showing 1 of 2 show 1 more comments

In 1972, Seth answered the following to a former student when he said that everything about him felt wrong.

What you are is good, what you do is good, you only have to tell yourself that until you believe it because it is the truth.

You are unique. There is no other in this room like you, there is no other in this universe or in any other universe like you. You are completely unique and through you the energy of All That Is flows in a completely unique, original and never to be duplicated pattern.

Therefore what you are is eternally with meaning and with purpose and rings through the universe. Your thoughts change worlds, worlds of which you are aware and worlds in which you are not aware.

I speak to you but I speak also to each of you for you are unique and like no other and All That Is flows through you in a way that it can flow through no other. The experiences that you have can happen to no other in precisely the same way. The smile that you can give can be given in no other way. You can smile at an individual in a way that no other human being, dead or alive, can smile and the touch of your hand can change a life in a way that no other individual, alive or dead, could change that life.

You act upon those that you know and those that you do not know in ways that no other individual can ever act. In each of you resides a uniqueness that is never really captured no matter how many times you are reincarnated.

The self that you are now is unique and it is highly important that you honor the self that you are through which the vitality of the universe shines. Honor yourself as you honor the gods then indeed you also honor others.

Deny yourself and you deny others. The truths, the honesty and, if you will forgive me, the magic of the universe shines through your eyes and your skin. Then why should you say that I am wrong?.

You are the reflection of All That Is as it has never been reflected before and never will again; therefore have trust in the nature of your being. And I speak now to each of you.

Your cells realize those truths. They are themselves and they sing to the universe of your being; then should you sing to the universe as you know it as freely and as filled with joy.

So, then rejoice in what you are and each of you never to be duplicated, never again to be known, yet you are eternally forever renewed in mysteries that you cannot understand. So know yourselves, honor yourselves.


answered 14 May '14, 18:36

T%20A's gravatar image


edited 14 May '14, 20:40

@T A- Another great answer- which makes me eat my own words- as I saw in the Mind of God posting I wrote. Yes, everything we do has consequences that reach all the way across the Universe, and our thoughts, too, move faster than Light itself...Thank You for reminding me! Boy, you all really have helped me today! Bless you! ♥♥♥

(14 May '14, 19:32) Jaianniah

@T A Nice one - thanks for posting this.

(15 May '14, 11:08) Catherine

@TA Perfect answer. Thank you.

(16 May '14, 09:50) PERFECT GOOD
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Hi Jai,

I know you are familiar with all the processes we celebrate here on IQ so that helps me a lot with this answer because I can speak in code. :)

Firstly, you are in a physical body living in this physical time-space reality so that cannot be 'wrong' because if you weren't lined up with being here in this body then you wouldn't be here so that clears that up straight away. :)

I think you have some dominant vibrations, or 'pipes' as Abraham often calls them, open to things that do not serve you at all.

If I were you, I would open new Focus Blocks to change your vibration (pipes) on these topics: the wellness of your body, the abundance of time, your age, career options and your sister. You have some dominant thoughts on those topics which have gained a lot of momentum in a negative direction so you need to neutralize those and then you can point in the direction of what is wanted more easily. There are lots of examples of Focus Blocks on here so you can find plenty of inspiration to get you laying some new pipes, as Abraham would say.

It is hard to receive inspired (career) ideas when you are firmly out of the vortex and I do sympathize with you there. (I've been there!) It's like you can't quite reach them but you know they are there, there's interference on the line blocking them from coming that's all.

If you focus on doing things that are fun and reaching for relief where you can you will train yourself up to where all the good stuff is so try not to worry now. You're on the way to it. :) Be easy with it, follow your excitement as much as you possibly can and open some Focus Blocks on those stubborn topics.

Your Inner Being/Source just cannot agree with you when you're thinking ill of your sister because your IB can only see her perfection. Your IB can't join you in thoughts of lack whether that is lack of time, lack of health, feeling inferior because of your age. These are all thoughts that your IB cannot agree with so thinking those thoughts will always make you feel bad because you're IB is screaming 'No!!!!!!' at you and then running away from you and will stay away until you stop thinking those thoughts. It's tough to change the direction of momentum at first, but start with Focus Blocks on some thoughts that your IB can agree with and you will start to feel relief and you will start to feel better and then you will have clear access to lots of wonderful opportunities and experiences that are just slightly out of view for you now. They are there though, they exist. You just can't see them right this minute but they will come.

Good luck :)


answered 14 May '14, 11:57

Yes's gravatar image


Wow, @Yes-! What a great answer! You have helped pinpoint what I need to do "fix" that IB and also, shift myself to the Yellow Brick Road which will lead me to Oz, and then---Home!!! (I wonder if anyone has ever seen the symbolism of the W. of Oz? That we all get "whisked" to the physical plane,

(14 May '14, 15:26) Jaianniah

and have to find the correct thinking (The Scarecrow), the correct Sympathies (alignment with our Higher Power (the Tin Man-Heart) and of course, the courage to do what we must do (the Lion)...follow the correct path...which leads to Oz...Death...and then...Home (Heaven) again! Neat, eh? Frank Baum wrote something pretty important there, I think!) Blessings to you, and all who read your answer! Thanks! ♥♥♥♥♥

(14 May '14, 15:26) Jaianniah

I too have the thought the same thing about The Wizard of Oz :) and Harry Potter! :) x

(15 May '14, 11:05) Yes
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Yes Jai it happens to most of us at some time, doubts that stealthily creep into the back of your mind without you being fully conscious of their presence, the recurring theme i'm talking of is "negativity" that keeps revealing itself through different questions "am I beyond the point of being able to fix myself?", "isn't it true that the loa fails to explain childhood trauma ...", "what do you do when you live with someone who blames you for all their problems?".

There is a powerful antidote you can use, the negative synchronicity reinforcement diagram allows you to realize in what form all these negative illusions can manifest themselves and the positive synchronicity reinforcement diagram shows the way to expansion, positivity and growth

alt text

please, please examine all of the following video, Bashar explains in detail about the "Tricks of Negative Beliefs" and how to use these template diagrams


answered 17 May '14, 02:59

jaz's gravatar image


@Jaz My expansion expanded 5 times bigger by watching this video. Thank you very much.

(17 May '14, 05:16) PERFECT GOOD

yes @PERFECT GOOD expansion certainly feels more comfortable than contraction, however as Bashar suggests later on in the video, both positive and negative are necessary for us to find the point of balance where real freedom waits patiently

(18 May '14, 02:44) jaz

If we try to find and expand negative beliefs, the negative beliefs will say to us, you are nothing without me.

So instead of expanding the negative belief, we play around with it, by saying OK OK you are right.

Traps of negativity, wow!!! Jaz.

(19 May '14, 10:54) PERFECT GOOD

thanks Bashar for having presented the mechanisms in such a clear practical graphic form ... for a deeper understanding of how all this works see the "brick wall beliefs" videos

(20 May '14, 04:10) jaz

I love you Bashar

(20 May '14, 06:45) PERFECT GOOD

Bashar is completely connected with higher self and answering all the questions. Oh Wow I feel blessed by seeing this video.

This one video, teaches many many subjects.

Thank you @Jaz

(20 May '14, 07:25) PERFECT GOOD

Bashar speaking with very high power. I didn't even attempted any affirmation with that high degree vibrationalized power.

(20 May '14, 07:28) PERFECT GOOD

Bashar where ever you are, I know you are listening to me. I want to thank you the way you thank to the people who questions you. Thank you for being connected with this planet. Help me to listen to you directly. Please send your vibrations to me. I love to accept your vibrations.

I love you Bashar.

(20 May '14, 07:36) PERFECT GOOD
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

"I am finding myself running out of time to do what I want to do- what I mean is that my body is very worn out, and I am getting to the point that it would be insane to try and start a new career at this age".

Darling Jaianniah, I'm feel sorry about the pain in your heart. The acceptable pains are always like the wound to the hearts.

I feel your pain. I feel your love towards life. I feel your optimism, I feel your energies that are very powerful to find the means to the life and many more..

Jaianniah I love you and my very close request to you Please Drop The Age Factor From Your Heart. I don't know how to express it in the way that it is in my heart to make you understand how strong I really want you to do it.


Age factor is a monster in human life. 'Age' the term gives rise the feeling of limitness, narrowness, some kind of stupid attitude behavior.

This is because when we heard it from people. People always made us to realize their failure in their personal life at that age. This vibrations continued from generations. It became a genetical disorder. This lead to acceptable suffering in many minds blaming the age factor.

The actual reason for sufferings could be different. Not allowing your imagination to go beyond your age.

So, please Jaianniah, modify the pain that is in your heart. Never discuss the age factor to anyone else in your life now after. Tell them upfront I don't want to tell it. Or you could put it in different words like 'I'm sweet sixteen' with true smile at them. That should give rise the feeling that you are really 'sixteen years old'.

People may not able to read your expression which you have thrown at them. But they understand your confidence.

Although there may be few laughs at you. But you should strongly believe that you are "sixteen years old". (or some age where you feel comfortable).

To all Inward Quest members I request you to avoid talking about age factor to the most you can in your life. Or try not to ask age of your friends. They feel more freedom spending time with yourself.

My request to @IQ moderator to welcome the new users without entering the 'date of birth'. This make them feel some liberty to express their thoughts in all different categories.

Many minds fight to find age of the person who answers the questions. But after some time they accept the answers whole heartedly. There hearts delete the age factor from their mind to some extent.

Let's begin this fight right now right here.




answered 17 May '14, 03:16

PERFECT%20GOOD's gravatar image


edited 17 May '14, 10:57

Right Perfect Good. In this age-bound society we must say as Jose Saramago (a Portuguese writer) said:

"How old I am? Who cares? I have the age that I feel. The age in which I can shout what I think without fear; the age in which I do what I want without fear of the unknown because I have the experience of my life and the certainty of my desires". etc.

(17 May '14, 09:59) T A

TA Thank you for sharing Jose Saramago sayings. I memorize it to answer whomever question for age.

(17 May '14, 10:47) PERFECT GOOD

@PERFECT GOOD- Thank you so much for posting this answer. I always feel young, but my body is breaking down (example- spinal stenosis, compression fractures of the spine, diabetes run riot, etc.). @TO ALL- I think that age is a matter of mind over body. But some days, I just feel challenged by the aging process. Hmmm? Another question for IQ, maybe? Love you, PERFECT GOOD! ♥♥♥

(17 May '14, 18:53) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

if I tell you that you made the choice to come to this world that God only offer you the opportunity and you made the choice, that if you are born of spirit and water and enter the kingdom of God as a peacemaker one that does not make inequity with a pure heart he would show you that you made the choice to come to this world before you came to this world and leave it to you to make the choice to come back in this world or to stay in the kingdom of heaven and that your choice matter and that God does not judge you, he understand you and would even tell you that you can always come back here in heaven and he know that you are sad to come back to this world because you now know the truth and are a witness to above. that very fee have overcome and they would not understand even if you would tell them they would probably judge you and say that you are crazy and many would be afraid of you because they fear what they do not understand. and he would say to you experience and enjoy.

I am talking to you and saying to you that you are a passer-by in this world. you come to this world just for a little while. use the time imparted to you wisely. Understand this in this world many make mistake some learn from them and improve them self and some do not. the choice is yours little child where you not created in the image of God? God The father is greater then I.

Let the children grown.

Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.


answered 15 May '14, 18:48

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 15 May '14, 18:51

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Asked: 14 May '14, 11:20

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Last updated: 20 May '14, 07:37

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