Help! How can I attract more interesting people into my life? I think I'm quite intelligent and interesting (!) but I end up spending all my time with lonely, miserable people having very simple conversations with them about their health and woes. I know I like to reach out and befriend those who are needy or lonely and I don't mind keeping casual acquaintance with these people, but there are a few people who always call me and want to make plans, and although sometimes I don't mind when I'm bored myself, recently I'm starting to resent this more and actually found myself agitated today when I received a text asking me to meet up on the weekend from someone who is lonely and depressed and I seem to be her only friend. I actually wanted to spend the weekend catching up on work and other things and relaxing and not making the effort to meet up with this person. I know it sounds horrible, but I have already spent so many weekends with this person, treating them to dinner and coffees because they don't have enough money etc and my heart just doesn't want to sing at the thought of meeting up again. It seems like a chore.

I also just am sad at the fact that I actually have very little company of my own age and educational level who make me happy, interested and intrigued in conversation, with whom I can have meaningful conversations and fulfilling friendships, even though I actually live in an academic town with thousands of smart and interesting people! I know I have some barriers to meeting these people as I sometimes feel challenged by their conversations and sometimes see some people as being too smart or knowledgeable, but I have so much more to give intellectually than my whole life going to meeting the same few people over and over with whom I don't have that much in common! How can I meet and have as friends just the right sort of people, who are mutually intellectually and emotionally fulfilling friendships. I feel I need more confidence to reach out to others and also more wisdom in how to interact with those I don't want to spend too much time with. I don't want to stop keeping company those who are in need but I don't want to resent it either.

asked 16 May '14, 17:49

Inner%20Beauty's gravatar image

Inner Beauty

"I attract into my life whatever i give my attention, energy or focus to, whether positive or negative"

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When you give your energy, focus and attention to things and people that you feel uninteresting, you attract uninteresting situations into your life.

Centering your attention on things and people that you find interesting and stimulating will attract interesting situations into your life ... or to put it more simply follow your highest joy

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answered 18 May '14, 05:31

jaz's gravatar image


I follow my heart but my heart follows you. Jaz please handle my heart with care.

Love you.

(19 May '14, 00:12) PERFECT GOOD

I feel like kissing your heart.

(20 May '14, 09:25) PERFECT GOOD

Thanks. I will think "interesting people'! And it's great that there are so many of you on this site!

(21 May '14, 16:47) Inner Beauty

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of a genius. Love, love, love that is the soul of genius" - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

(22 May '14, 02:27) jaz

Feel my love @Jaz..

(22 May '14, 05:08) PERFECT GOOD
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

I think what you are asking is "How can I meet more people who "mentally stimulate" me more than the deadbeats I'm currently associating with!?"

Although that statement may sound a little harsh....but is it really that far from the truth?

I say it that way because I keep a small pocket of those people in my life. I keep them because they are from my past. From a time in my past that I had fond memories. A time when I played the Rock and Roll, and lived Rock and Roll the lifestyle. BUT now, I keep these people at a distance. A 300 Km distance to be exact. I go to visit them every 4-6 months because I really enjoy having someone to talk and re-live old memories with.....They never left that world!....I still have to buy them coffee and meals and bring groceries when I visit. I listen to their hardships, buy them cigarettes and booze.....these are 50 yr old men! Some are on medication because of that lifestyle. They are deadbeats who will drag you down with them if you let them.

If I had them in my life on a daily basis, what do you think would happen? I would start living like them, (again) thinking like them, acting like them, talking like them and I would be so in vibration with them that "the people in my life now" couldn't possibly find me. Luckily, I did "get out" and it included a lot of time being by myself. Thinking and not knowing what to do. I went alone to places, coffee shops, bars, libraries and slowly over time people started to show-up in my life. Fun clean people. That was 20 yrs ago. I think another reason I keep them in my life is to remind myself that I used to live like that and I never want to live like that again!

Finally, think of the 5 closest people in your life right now......Do you see a similarity in these people? Because that similarity is also YOU! Also, the average amount of money these 5 people make a year is about the same as what you make a year.

Coincidence?...I think not.


answered 17 May '14, 17:38

Eldavo's gravatar image


Thanks. Yes, I did ponder that question and true the 5 are all similar to me in many ways, although not with the money earning but I think it's because I don't like associating with people who earn the same as I do.

(21 May '14, 16:46) Inner Beauty

Hi @Inner Beauty! Abraham quote in my mailbox seems to me to be a perfect fit, once again:

Q: There seem to be two kinds of guys for me, the boring one and the exciting ones. The deliberate creators seem to be the bad guys and the nice ones are boring.

Abraham: All right, we're going to start at the very beginning. You Create Your Own Reality! And what you believe is the way it is for YOU! So everything you just said is true.

We'd say it differently if you want it to be different. And we would convince ourselves that there are powerful, beautiful, aligned men who are in perfect vibrational alignment with who they are, who understand that they live in an expansive universe, who are sifting through life experience and are coming to new conclusions. Who are tuned into themselves, sensitive to their own emotions and deliberate about guiding their thoughts. Who are understanding that they can be or do or have anything! The planet is crawling with them.

But when you make statements you just made, you don't have vibrational access to them.

Love, Grace :)

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 19 May '14, 11:02

Grace's gravatar image


edited 19 May '14, 11:02

Who are understanding that they can be or do or have anything! The planet is crawling with them. this statement made me laugh. in this world you are not alone and you are not the one that makes the rules for everyone. everyone as free will. to have anything will it make you more happy? or to do anything will it make you more happy?

(19 May '14, 11:56) white tiger

as for the creator is bad and the nice guy is boring. the creator can be good or bad or what he create can be good or bad. the nice guy can be boring or not boring. or maybe you need a not nice guy to complain all day long against him? then it is your choice so stop complaining. if you need disciple from the nice guy to not find it boring just tell him. or maybe you are afraid to tell him. then why complain?

(19 May '14, 16:10) white tiger

@Grace, woa, That's a good one. Thanks!!!!! Will be saying that on a daily basis! ;-)

(21 May '14, 16:53) Inner Beauty
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Inner Beauty,

lol Hope I could get for you Superman, Spiderman, Heman, Batman to cheer you all the time as you wish. lol

In real if they exist in this world. We all want to meet them and spend time with them. We can make most wishes accomplished with their help. We will be huge in our lives.

Dear Inner Beauty, if you and I want to meet superheros in our lives like all other do. It's not the greatness of your's or mine. It's the great qualities that superheros possess and we attracted to that qualities.

It clear means that we don't value our own presence in the way it is. If there is no value of our own self, then no matter how great persons (superheros) we meet; we never be happy. We always back to square one blaming the world with logical and illogical reasons.

Now understand please, where ever you go, you meet the same persons. Instead of dropping you interest, cultivate interest.

Respect the people whomever you meet. Learn to love them. You see your confidence level get increase. Everything will work in harmony.

Try yourself to be the interesting person or superhero. Do not search in outer world. Because the meaning of interesting person the world doesn't know better then you know it. So, Be yourself and Love yourself.

Please remember my love for you @Inner Beauty.



answered 17 May '14, 13:07

PERFECT%20GOOD's gravatar image



Thanks @perfect good. You're so right. I will try to be more interesting and loving myself! Warm love to you.

(21 May '14, 16:48) Inner Beauty

Thank you inner inner... beauty for you love.

(22 May '14, 00:33) PERFECT GOOD

It is hard to say what interesting people are. For example everyone thinks they would like to meet and talk with Albert Einstein. In reality if most did meet and talk with him they would probably have no idea what his amazing conclusions are. He would be excited sharing with you and me his latest discovery and we would be confused and bored because to us he is just saying letters and numbers, let alone the fact it may be the key to existence, if we don't understand it we lose interest.

Another interesting man might be the crocodile hunter. Yes it might be interesting talking with him until you get bored listening for the thousandth time how you have to watch out for their teeth.

Jimi Hendrix might be interesting if all you want to talk about is guitar.

So interesting people is a broad phrase, and could fit scientist, musicians, artist, anarchist, criminals, billionaires, magicians, actors, hoodlums, street people, I could go on and on. I know of a homeless guy that used to produce a childrens television show, he is interesting.

So to find interesting people, you need to find first what that means to you. What you would enjoy because we are all interesting in one way or another.


answered 17 May '14, 13:58

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

I remember hearing of a curse from some place that said, "May you be reincarnated into interesting times." As I pointed out interesting is not necessarily a good thing, it could be bad also.

Maybe if instead of interesting you were more specific as to your wants.

(18 May '14, 15:35) Wade Casaldi

Good point @Wade! I'm perhaps being too judgemental when I say 'interesting'. Maybe what I need is just to meet more people of all types.

(21 May '14, 16:50) Inner Beauty

Everyone is in need in this world. what is your definition of interesting people? do you consider your self interesting? what if you would meet your self? would you find your self interesting? or would you find that you are wasting your time with someone that is not interesting? if everyone would be like you. you would find it boring. the difference brings something new it makes something to share and new experience. the problem could be that you do not find what you need. do you expect other to find it out for you? if you expect other to find it out for you maybe they expect the same thing from you? by knowing your self and other you will find what you need. if you do not know your self then you look for other to find it for you and they do the same. and when you find someone that does not do the same then you say we have nothing in common I want to find interesting people. you have free will like everyone else. if it feel like a chore to meet some people maybe they are to needy of you? Or maybe they are to needy for you? if the balance between you and other is making inequity for them or for you who as the free will to change this? in this world many expect to much from other and they are not in their shoe if so they would change their mind about what they are thinking of them self and other. if someone is thirsty give them water so they can drink abundantly. Do not be like those roman that ask to much of other and do not want to give to other. if one is thirsty he will drink. if he is not thirsty he will not drink.

I have gave you water on this very day so that you may not thirst again.

will it become a spring in you? you have free will.

Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.


answered 18 May '14, 11:08

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 18 May '14, 13:28

Thanks @White Tiger - see my comment above to Wade. Yes, I think I am being too judgemental. I think I just need to meet more people in general and have more friendships, then it wouldn't be a burden to meet and show love to those that I see all the time.

(21 May '14, 16:51) Inner Beauty

Hi Innerbeauty,

Just a few weeks ago, I was considdering the same topic as you. Recoginizing I was judging recent people as not inspiring. Then I came to realize that I was coming up to these people different then I would the 'interesting' ones. I expected them to be the way they have always shown me, and therefor leaving them no room to show me otherwise. For many years I was listening to Abraham as my only true Source, which helped me greatly. When the desire came to me for inspiring people and focussing on it. My daily relationships changed, but also, I found more and more interesting people online. Considering the fact that in person I do not feel to have a tremendous amount of time to uphold personal relationships, online inspiring people are my way of least resistance. I would say to you, try not to judge your current contacts, but focus upon the people you would like to meet. No matter where. Be open and trustfull it will happen.


answered 09 Jul '14, 10:35

TimH's gravatar image


When you spend all your time emotional energy on people whom you don't find interesting, you don't have time to find the interesting ones. Look at your motives for keeping those others in your life. Does it make you feel good about yourself? Are you having problems setting boundaries? Does it allow you to feel better about yourself to associate with these types of people.

You say it yourself, you have blocks about associating with smarter, more stimulating people. Learn to clear those insecurities using Emotional Freedom Technique or PSYCH-K. That's what's keeping your from them.


answered 19 Jul '14, 20:53

EliteSoulMateCoaching's gravatar image


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Asked: 16 May '14, 17:49

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Last updated: 19 Jul '14, 20:53

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