A question I keep coming back to is: Do we create our reality ourselves, 100%, always?

My current answer is: No, our reality is a mixture of what we have created and what we have let others create on our behalf.

That we create reality is out of question. But if we say that we and only we, and nobody else creates our reality then there are certain logical problems: It follows then that:

  • There is no point in wishing anybody well, trying to heal anyone or help anyone by your thought – because until they also want it, your thought will have no effect on their reality. And if their reality does improve, then it’s their thought that did it, not yours – so you needn’t have bothered in the first place.

  • Really young children who die, get killed, or are abused all think themselves to their fates.

  • If two people want the exact opposites and, let’s say for the sake of arguments, they are both equally good manifesters, what happens? Each of the three possible outcomes (A wins, B wins, stalemate) gives rise to a contradiction of our starting premise. If A wins then B is living a reality of A’s creation, and so on.

If on the other hand we say that you create your reality to a large extent, but your reality is also affected by the extent you have relinquished mental control to others, then all these logical problems are solved.

  • You can make the life situations of other people better by being very good at manifesting, and then by imposing your focused, trained and strong thought over their unconscious and scattered wish. There is nothing to stop you from harming them either.

  • Young children who die, get killed, or are abused attract their fates not by their own thoughts, but by allowing their thoughts and feelings to be affected and controlled by negativity of the people surrounding them (parents, carers, relatives etc.). Children are particularly susceptible to mental suggestions. Even babies in womb react positively to goodness and negatively to stress.

  • If two people want the exact opposites then whoever is the better manifester wins. If both are equally good manifesters, then stalemate occurs, but that is also logically consistent with the premise.

It is therefore our (people who are aware of and practise LOA) job to be very, very good at controlling our mind, so we do not get affected by others. Knowing all this, it is unforgivable if we allow this to happen to ourselves.

PS. Please nobody mention 'subjective reality'. Nobody understands it, including its proponents.

asked 23 Aug '14, 15:49

cod2's gravatar image


edited 23 Aug '14, 15:50

You have some very good links that have already been shared by @Grace that help to answer your question, including one of my own answers that sums up my opinion pretty clearly.

It also seems that you have somewhat made up your mind about each individual creating their own reality by answering yourself in your own question. So any answer you get may clash a bit with your already built in belief system.

Lets look at "what we call reality" in a different way for a minute. Just for a moment, lets look at physical reality as an experience.

Physical reality is simply just an experience.

I admit, it feels really real.

It feels like something that we should take so very seriously.

It feels like something we shouldn't joke around about.

It feels like something that we shouldn't make light of.

It feels like something that we shouldn't leave all of the bad stuff that happens to people in the world in the darkness.

But in the end, it is simply experience.

I can't prove to anyone that it is just an experience. I can't give facts that it is just an experience. I don't try to force people to believe that it is just an experience that we are playing around with as masterful non-physical expressions of infinite consciousness. I just know that this physical life is an experience. Simply knowing that gives me as an individual great relief.

I look at physical life nowadays like I look at a movie screen. I can watch the show closely and at a certain point become so engrossed into what is going on emotionally, but in a broader scope I know that it is just an illusion of physicality and that everything is okay in the end because it is all just an experience that I chose to go through for growth and expansion.

Every single one of us are born and every single one of us will die (physical earth form) eventually along the path. Why come into physical form and just bang around in a negative way to simply just die a meaningless life in the end. To me, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. We are here to create through vibrational frequency and then experience the repercussions of said vibration and choose if it is the right path to go down.

Do we create our reality ourselves, 100%, always?

Again, my opinion on this is answered quite thoroughly in the first link that @Grace provided.

Just to add to it though, who's eyes do you see through every single day?

The answer for me is my own eyes. So every single thing you experience in human life is filtered through you one way or another.

We all create our own versions of what we believe is a collective agreement, but essentially, it gets filtered through our own belief system in the end.

What we perceive as physical reality is all contained within our consciousness. So no matter what happens within that consciousness experience, it is all created by us, because it "is us."

What you vibrate or pulse out consistently is what you experience in physical reality. A person standing right next to you could see the world in a completely different light, no matter how many of your facts ot truths you try to force upon them.

This is what I find so cool about physical reality on earth nowadays. I get to make the choice that I create my reality 100% all by myself while other people flail around trying point fingers at each other in blame.

Come to think of it, there really is no definite answer to you question. There really is only a choice to believe or not believe that we create every single thing in our experience.

Every choice is completely valid since we are all the one same thing in the broader scope of existence.


answered 24 Aug '14, 02:35

Cory's gravatar image


cory, it is our mental read of what is capable of being perceived by us for each choice, however, we live in a society and a finite world each governed by laws for their kind, an interdependence outside of anyone's individual manifestations

(24 Aug '14, 05:36) fred

Yes. It's 100% you creating 100% of your reality all of the time. One way to get closer to accepting this idea is to realize that without you 100% of your reality will cease, not a piece, not a part - ALL OF IT. This makes it easier to entertain the idea that the presence of your awareness is ALL IMPORTANT. Consider this discussion we're having: the questions we ask, the debates we have, the reasons we desire, the awareness of knowing or not knowing etc. ALL OF THIS IS WITHIN OUR AWARENESS and is created by it. Without our awareness nothing can exist in our experience. To even argue that it would exist in someone else's awareness requires YOUR AWARENESS. It is from this fundamental truth i.e. THAT CONSCIOUSNESS IS THE ONLY REALITY as far as anything conceivable is concerned that we arrive at the "You create all of your reality" truth. At the level of consciousness ALL IS ONE and there is no illusion of separation, so at the core that remains true even when creating in the illusion of separation.

Subjective reality is very easily understood (: if we just dump the terminology aside :), subjective is just being all about YOUR awareness i.e. NOTHING in your experience - no matter how you cut it - is going to exist outside of it and even the examples and counter-arguments you come up with require your awareness of it. This is the essence of subjective experience i.e. WITHOUT YOU NOTHING IS.

You are VERY CORRECT IN ONE ASPECT I like the way you phrased it, "to the degree we relinquish mental control to others". Yes, if we should structure our awareness such that something that appears "external" is in some way more important than us, then that is what we experience.

And again all of these questions are the result of your creation of the illusion of separation in YOUR AWARENESS. There are no "others". There is only Self.

Anyway, for the sake of the illusion, let me respond to the questions:

a) This is easy. You're right. You'd do well to mind your own business i.e. focus on keeping your awareness on something pleasing and tending to your own vibrational well-being. "Others" are free to muck their lives up - let them. If you insist on caring that it is your responsibility. Yes, you can wish well for people but if they are determined to be stuck then they will be until they realize the truth for themselves.

b) I might not be able to articulate this well because some of this is really beyond words. Some people, at the level of soul or spirit or Self, decide to exit at different points of time and in different ways. All this sense of tragedy is due to the unnecessary obsession with a long life and insisting that this is the most desirable thing. The child you see seems helpless but it is an Infinite Being and is quite literally your Self from another perspective. It is far from helpless. It comes and goes for its own reasons, and is not obliged to conform to any notions others have about what is "good" or "Bad". Each should mind their own business. The vibration of others MAY influence on a superficial level, but when it comes to dying that's really the Infinite Being of that person that's operating. So the child knows what it is doing in the seemingly coming and going from this experience. It does not have to run its script to any societal preference of "good" or "evil". In the case of abuse, the things the child chooses to accept from the outside-in (: this is hard to swallow, but yes some children accept and some don't :) are the usually cause because going outside-in is allowing the illusion to rule. Fortunately, this isn't too common because most kids and the "others" in their experience usually choose quite favorably for themselves. Err..yeah, this principle of awareness / focus and vibration doesn't distinguish between child and adult. That seems harsh, but as I've said, that child isn't as "child" as you think it is. It really knows what it's doing at a deeper level. As always, in the larger scheme of things, all of this is a dream and All Is Forever Well.

c)Very easy. First, we NEVER want (: no matter how things seem :) exactly the same thing because our inner states of consciousness are totally different. It is always the total of our consciousness that effects our circumstances and the trajectory of our life. Even though it seems that two people are competing for the same thing, it never is fully that, they are both competing with their own internal states and other desires that they may not be fully aware of. Circumstances unfold according to that not their focus on the specific "contest" at hand. The only contest is with Self and our inner state. The A and B wanting X or Y object scenario is really but a shadow of what's going on - and it's all inside and it's a lot of different inner desires in contest in each individual. Neither is actually "winning" or "losing" at the expense of the other: each is manifesting exactly what corresponds with the his consciousness. Again, we never compete with anyone but our own selves.


answered 24 Aug '14, 06:51

harsha's gravatar image


edited 24 Aug '14, 07:48

There are already so many great answers to your questions here on IQ. I have been having a blast looking some of them up for you. :)

"Do we create our reality ourselves, 100%, always?"

My favorite answer for your first overall question is our @ Cory's here: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/62962/are-we-100-responsible-for-all-the-things-that-happen-to-us/62974

The short answer is Yes. We definitely do. 100%. Always.

"There is no point in wishing anybody well..."

Our @Stingray's answer here: http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/9638/can-someone-else-manifest-for-us/9640 explains this really well in a personal account from his own life, and also refers to this answer http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/1222/can-we-send-our-energy-remotely-to-other-people/1223

The short answers - Yes there really is a good point in wishing folks well, but yes, it is ultimately their decision to make of your good wishes what they will. :)

"Really young children who die, get killed, or are abused all think themselves to their fates."

I think we all have grappled with this at some point, but the video clip in our @releaser99's question here http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/62181/have-6-million-jews-really-attracted-their-own-deaths shows Abraham-Hick's answers to this, and that along with our @Stingray's answer there will help you to understand, I think. It helped me. No short answer to this one, but for me, it helps to realize that you are assuming that death is a bad thing. :)

If two people want the exact opposites then whoever is the better manifester wins.

@Stingray again, here. http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/1508/who-wins-if-two-people-have-conflicting-desires/1516

I would say that the short answer is yes, whomever is most aligned or has least resistance to success will get the manifestation they want... But you say that as if it's a bad thing. (?) Surely, that is all to the good, that a person who is most ready for a manifestation achieves it.

Otherwise, they would be certain to lose it pretty quickly. :)


"Knowing all this, it is unforgivable if we allow this to happen to ourselves."

...Unforgivable? Nah! If there were any need for forgiveness, I am forgiving myself a hundred times a day.

It's ok. Nobody's perfect. Be gentle with yourself. :D

alt text

Love, Grace :)

This answer is marked "community wiki".

answered 23 Aug '14, 17:23

Grace's gravatar image


edited 23 Aug '14, 17:50

To Harsha - Maybe not 'create' but experience reality. You... experience your reality 100% of the time, unless you're in a coma, passed out drunk or things like that. Your sensors are your senses and that is how reality gets into your brain. No sensors, no reality. If you did not have your 5 physical senses, the physical world would not exist 'for you'. You might develop your psychic senses but that's another topic. Reality exists outside of you and you bring it into your brain and filter it via your senses.

To Harsha, yes, there truly is no separation between all of us and the physical universe. At the sub-atomic level we are all one. Science has proven that.

To Cory, "I get to make the choice that I create my reality 100% all by myself while other people flail around trying point fingers at each other in blame."
I'm thinking it's a matter of 'experiencing' reality, choosing my reality, how I will RESPOND to what comes into my world, things like that. To actually 'create' reality you'd have to be the One who created all that exists before 'we' were here. But I get what you're saying.

To Cory - "What you vibrate or pulse out consistently is what you experience in physical reality." "There really is only a choice to believe or not believe that we create every single thing in our experience."

So what you're saying is, if you vibrate happiness & contentment that's what you'll experience in your world and you can choose to believe or not that you create EVERY single thing in your experience?
OK. Let's say I'm a mischievous impish 9 year old kid. You're walking in the park having a happy day, the sun's out and life is good. I'm playing whiffle ball with my friends. Just for fun I run up to you and hit you as hard as I can in the ankle and run away laughing. You're instantly introduced to pain. Were you vibrating that event and then it happened to you? Did you create that event and I was only the instrument that made the event happen?
If everyone creates their experience as you say, then you created the afore mentioned one and will create others like that when they happen to you. I'd love to know your thoughts on that.

To Grace - "Really young children who die, get killed, or are abused all think themselves to their fates."
Who threw the baby out with the bathwater? Does the majority of the spiritual community 'really' believe little children are totally responsible for their lives? A week ago a 9 year old girl was at the Oregon coast. She was in a deep pit dug into the sand and was playing. The walls of the sand pit caved in on her and she died. Did she vibrate until that experience came into her existence? Absolutely NOT! She was in a very dangerous circumstance and the unthinkable happened. Like a kid running after a ball out into traffic. Bad cause and bad effect.
Did Jerry Hicks 'attract' or vibrate Leukemia into his body? Yes, if you believe what Abraham teaches. Was he able to use all the close, personal, intimate teachings Abraham provided through Esther to heal himself? No. If he did, he would've beaten Leukemia, but he didn't. Maybe he didn't 'allow' enough or vibrate health enough. Really? Come on! How about he got cancer (or a spider bite as we were told by Esther) and died. So many will miss him and it's a great loss but sometimes cancer wins and sometimes you win.

How about this viewpoint. Everyone is 80% responsible for their lives and the other 20% 'stuff' happens. That 'stuff' can be miracles or tragedies. A miracle if Jerry Hicks beat cancer but a tragedy that he didn't. It might be easy to embrace the 'you are 100% responsible for what happens to you in your life' mindset as long as your life is filled with love and light and no tragedy touches you or the ones you care about. Did you get breast cancer? Did you loose your job through a merger or downsizing even though you were vote employee of the year? Did your spouse of 17 years divorce you and take everything? Did you vibrate or manifest those things into existence? Or did LIFE just happen to you? And if it did, how will you respond?

Hey, in the Bible there's the story of Job who did no wrong before God and yet he was subjected to the loss of everything he owned, and lost ALL his children. Did he manifest that? No. The Bible says God let the Devil test Job. So 'stuff' happens. And how we respond is what matters, at least in my opinion, of which I have many.

I know people on InwardQuest (and usually everywhere) will have strong opinions about being totally responsible for what happens to you and on the other side there will be the "I'm not responsible at all to what happens to me" people. How about we live in harmony together, have balance and meet somewhere in the middle. Balance is in the Universe. Balance is in Nature. Balance can be in ourselves. After all, when things are in balance things are in harmony.

By the way, I love your quote and its picture: 'Be gentle with yourself'. How true and so much needed for these times.


answered 05 Sep '14, 00:03

SNightwing's gravatar image


edited 05 Sep '14, 00:06

Consciousness is the only reality and the basis of all things including the arguments for or against it being the only reality. No consciousness no reality. Period. Within and without are just words catering to the illusion of space. In principle everything is in you and you are in everything because all is consciousness. What you are conscious of you MUST experience unless you shift your focus to something else. You are Infinite and can create pleasant and unpleasant. Choose well.

(05 Sep '14, 07:11) harsha

As for all the scenarios / events you mentioned: yes, 100% self created EVERY one of them. You always win even if you insist you lose. The only thing to note is that there is a correspondence -not a detail-for-detail match of - circumstance to inner state. There can be a time lag between the state you occupy mentally and it's physical reflection which will match the general idea not necessarily the exact form of the imagination that caused it.

(05 Sep '14, 07:14) harsha

The things that just "happen" are actually the result of our own desire to have new experiences but whether they are pleasant or unpleasant has only to do with our state of mind. We do want to do something more (: we'd go nuts if we stood still permanently :) but the manner in which we present ourselves with a creative opportunity will correspond to the state of mind i.e. happy state = happy path and events. I always say you are bigger than any "obstacle" because you put it there.

(05 Sep '14, 07:18) harsha

And as for your suggested viewpoint: Yes, you can hold it as a belief and your experience will validate it. There's room for Infinite number of truths. Also about "balance": this is so popular even with spiritualists, there is only one real and irrevocable balance, and that is the correspondence of outer conditions to state of mind. You can definitely hold your Pareto approach to life and it will work for you because your belief will be balanced by it's corresponding experience.

(05 Sep '14, 07:36) harsha
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Your question includes the ASSUMPTION that there is one universe - that stretches out form one edge to another like a sheet. Your question does not include the assumption that we live in a multiverse, where, as at least one theory suggests (with abundant evidence) that many alternate realities exist - stacked upon and beside one another, bumping into one another, merging with one another along the edges, making a seamless transition from one context to another. When you accept the definition of reality that does not contradict the science, then you will realize that yes, you are 100% responsible for the condition of your reality - always - whether you like it or not.

But this becomes a GOOD thing, not a bad thing. Only in the flat-sheet universe reality is such an idea perceived as a bad thing.


answered 26 Sep '14, 09:36

Gail's gravatar image


edited 26 Sep '14, 09:38

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Asked: 23 Aug '14, 15:49

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Last updated: 26 Sep '14, 09:38

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