I need to clean-up my deep-rooted issues with my parents. I use focus blocks and Faster EFT as part of my daily 30-day vortex challenge. But these issues come up every other day, and even when I have been in the vortex in the morning as a result of my morning vibrational routine, these issues are ruining my daytime.
I often get consumed by rage against my parents, and any possibility of using Faster EFT at that point to neutralise the emotions go out the window.
Later if I try to use Focus Blocks on the issue, I struggle to find statements that give relief. Statements like "They didn't know better", or "They love me very much" only end up enraging me more.
I am sure many people here have similar problems, because problems with parents is far too common, sadly. I need your help.
I dealt with issues I had with my father primarily using focus blocks. I did it by breaking down the issues I had into very specific ones, whether present or anything they did in the past that I held against them specifically. Then cycled through them in a random manner.
Examples of topics ranged from "I don't like to answer the phone when Dad calls", "I feel guilty for not wanting to talk to my father" to past issues ranging from "Dad didn't (doesn't) like me laughing or really being happy" to...well, I won't specifically say the extremes since I don't want to accidentally implicate him for anything.
I don't think my statements would really help you since they are specific to my situation and relationship. But some examples are: "A lot of people mellow out more when they get older and my Dad is getting older now", "It wasn't specifically me, when he didn't like me laughing he wouldn't have really liked anyone else laughing either", "He wouldn't have tried to .... in his right state of mind", "He hasn't done anything to me for years now" etc.
Well, I actually didn't have much contact at all with my father and had plenty else going on in my life so they didn't rise up much (except when he called me). Focus blocks pretty much deals with anything for me - if for some reason it doesn't from a general sense then it always has when I break things down more specifically.
I actually didn't "finish" all the ones I wrote down (I notice now since I'm looking through all of them archived) but no, none of those issues with my father resurface now. I have a fairly good relationship with him now and in fact recently he has been saying how much he wants me to come see him and stay with him for a few weeks when I have the free time (and he wants to pay for all expenses like travel - he lives in a different country from me).
answered 30 Oct '14, 16:51
I think @Liam's advise is excellent in regard to dealing with those issues using Focus Blocks.
You need to make sure that you get specific enough to provoke the emotional intensity within your body. Because when you feel your issue(s) clearly, you can work with them quickly and effectively.
The same goes for EFT or Faster EFT. In my experience, when using (Faster) EFT you often have to be even more specific.
Robert Smith of Faster EFT suggests to find specific references to your specific problem. So he asks "How do you know you have a problem?". Depending on your personal internal processes, you could then come up with answers like
It seems that the fastest way to get rid of a problem (and all of its aspects) with EFT is to come up with specific memories, list them all, make yourself feel them strongly and neutralize them all until you feel zero resistance when you think of them (See table top analogy). I have worked with a few people and have neutralized all of their memories to deep seated problems in a few minutes or less than an hour using Faster EFT. That's really cool!
It's essential to tap on all the aspects of your memories (feelings, beliefs, faces, your own facial expression, sounds etc.) until everything feels neutral. Robert Smith also suggests to change the memory completely and make it a positive one. So every time you think back, it feels good and it's a positive experience for you.
Personally, I can rarely come up with a specific memory. For the most part, I just feel something in my body and it isn't always intense. When tapping on those internal representations, it seems to take hours (and sometimes even days) to neutralize a problem.
That's why I prefer Focus Blocks for deep seated issues the way @Liam described it. So you have to find out what works best for you.
But the key to deep and lasting changes is to be as specific as you can, whether you are using Focus Blocks or (Faster) EFT.
answered 30 Oct '14, 19:15
I'm not sure if any of these statements help, but sometimes you only need to pick one or two that resonate and it can put you on the right track.
*There are times when I have felt that his gloom is crushing my spirit.
I find myself wishing he could focus on the positives, that he would laugh and smile a little more.
I wonder if I make him happy and whether he wants me around.
Now I am a little older I have had a little more life experience.
Underpinning these times is nothing more than two people who have lost their rhythm.
When I see the slightest symptom of him feeling better, I'll talk about that
We're only one facet of each other's multifaceted lives.
When I am not with him, I'm gonna pretend he's improved
I'm gonna make an effort to be more positive about his condition
I'm going to work at making our time together as rich and loving as it can be.*
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