Had an interesting couple of months and I'm blaming IQ (You're welcome!)

Back in August, I resolved to attract my soulmate, once and for all, come hell or high water, etc. I performed a week-long rite (daily meditation, ritual, and visualization with temporary taboos set on everyday activity) and it was potent. After years of depression, this rite kicked me up into elation, hallucination, and absolute certainty of my success. I came here asking for advice and have stayed since (great site, by the way, it's one of my home pages now).

I think I messed up because shortly after, I felt an odd impulse to go visit a park a friend had introduced me to over the summer. However, I managed to find plenty of excuses not to go. Following this came a long streak of bad luck that I realized was me crashing my car, to use Stingray's metaphor. However, I still visualized my soulmate on a daily basis and had built up a vision board (mostly to help me learn how to visualize colour). I'm still or had been until recently at positive expectation or optimism on the subject of Her.

I'll try to cut to the chase (it's a long story). I decided to let go of her; it felt like I was obsessing over her and neglecting other goals (health, wealth, etc.). I stopped visualizing or thinking about her and I deleted my vision board. This was two weeks ago and I was also looking at Paraliminals. I'd seen them endorsed by Steve Pavlina, Carl Harvey, and Stingray so I figured I'd be an idiot not to check them out. I also decided that I would end the period of obsession with a couple days of the Creating Sparks paraliminal. Boy, did that backfire!

I read the pdf stating I should come up with a simple intention to take with me into the paraliminal session. So, I kept it simple: I'm going to marry my soulmate. I infused it with as much conviction as I could and it was like riding a landslide. I just felt this rush of joy like that single thought and the ironclad truth of it was the happiest thing my mind could contain. The topic I was about to drop turned out to be like a freeway into the Vortex (or at least the parking lot outside)

I haven't rebuilt the vision board but last night, I made up a playlist of super positive love songs to fuel me up for the trip down the freeway. I was feeling really good, bouncing on couch, falling in love with a visualization. Suddenly, I remembered that I wanted to look up something for a project. I switched to my browser and opened a new tab. The default page loads with an ad for Stanley Park brewery (the park my friend took me to and I felt the urge to visit in late August). I took it as a message; both times I entered or got close to the Vortex with her in mind, Stanley Park showed up. So, today, I went to Stanley Park.

I laid out my trip (took a couple hours to get there) but played it by ear. For example, the park is north of downtown Vancouver and accessible by transit. I knew which street to get off the bus and head down to the beach for the walk to the park. The bus was busy so I didn't get off at that street but I noticed that a woman who got my attention by spilling her coffee when I walked past her, got off at the street that I was supposed to take. So, I took it as a sign, got off at the next stop and walked back, which was good because I discovered this:

alt text

Anyway, I walked to the park. It was late, dark, cold, and deserted so I sat near the beach, listened to the Creating Sparks paraliminal and went home. I admit I felt a great relief, like I'd accomplished a task set by the Universe. Later, on the train home, I felt some disappointment that she wasn't there. I squashed the thought because it was lack-based. However, I have to ask: what do you do with actions that seem inspired but also don't seem to resolve anything?

Don't get me wrong; I'm not saying inspired action has to result in manifestation. I'm just thinking that anything could have happened, like meeting someone who happens to know a person who knows a person, etc. But this adventure was purely solo and maybe an internal shift was all that was required...?

asked 30 Nov '14, 02:35

Concolitanos's gravatar image


edited 30 Nov '14, 03:09

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦

Thanks to everyone for your answers. This has been a bumpy ride, which from what I've read is to be expected so... I guess it's two thumbs up :)

And, forgot to give proper credit. The artwork is titled Engagement by Dennis Oppenheim.


(30 Nov '14, 19:24) Concolitanos
showing 0 of 1 show 1 more comments

All the answers are quite good and I would emphasize again the great truth i.e. "You always get it right" because your reality always mirrors the essential nature of your entire consciousness. Now, while you might have your most obvious focus on this soul-mate thing your circumstances will reflect the state of your consciousness in it's entirety with 100% correspondence to the general ideas you hold. I noticed some words you used that suggest you are trying to "push" (: only you can know exactly how you feel :) like "ironclad", "come hell or high water" and that you might have had more than a slight focus on the state of not having manifested your soul-mate yet because you seem to be looking for "signs". SIGNS FOLLOW A BELIEF OR A STATE and never precede them, the more you look for signs the more you'll get signs that you're searching for something i.e. haven't found something. I hope this helps.

Try to spend more time in meditation (: entering "the silence" :) instead of manifestation oriented ritual work and also focus on just feeling good. That's really the big reward.


answered 30 Nov '14, 10:36

harsha's gravatar image


edited 30 Nov '14, 10:40


I love this answer. :)

(30 Nov '14, 10:43) Olga Farber

Thanks very much. Glad it helped someone.

(30 Nov '14, 11:00) harsha

Thanks, @harsha! Very good advice! I used the word ironclad because I've been working on differentiating the states in Abraham's emotional chart. So, when I think of her, sometimes it's optimism but usually it is positive expectation. Our being together feels inevitable whereas last year, I would have called it a pipe dream. I think maybe the switch from Disney-level fantasy to actual possibility has lit a fire under me that's making this more difficult than it needs to be.

(30 Nov '14, 13:21) Concolitanos

Well, I think you're just under the performance pressure thing now that you realize it's as real as you are willing to imagine to be. You're trying to (: somewhere in the back of your mind :) "push" it along. Effort is an enemy. Go about your day as usual. Neither force action nor avoid action just chill and do what you normally do.

(30 Nov '14, 13:58) harsha
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

From Abraham's teachings (not a quote): The process of manifestation can happen all in an instant or can take some time depending on how your vibration is a match to what you want and the amount (or absence) of resistance, and how consistently you hold the match. But, one think that Abraham has stated repeatedly is the fact that A THOUGHT OR AN EMOTION IS IN ITSELF A MANIFESTATION!!!.

If you raise your vibration and you have access to thoughts that were not available before, those thoughts are a manifestation as well as your improved emotion. And that's just the beginning or the previews of the actual physical manifestation.

So remember what you felt/thought after you visited the park (you stated): "I admit I felt a great relief, like I'd accomplished a task set by the Universe". That was in itself a manifestation. Also think on how you excited you felt by following your instincts, going to the park, seeing the picture you posted, it's all about getting there, and while you were at it you were "in the flow".

Then when you noticed that seemingly "nothing happened" you derailed yourself out of that. So pat yourself in the back when you manifest a new better feeling thought, an emotion, inspired action, etc and try to hold that and not the fact that "she" hasn't appeared.

Finally don't worry, there are infinite opportunities for you to line up to it, if you miss one, the universe has another one just after that. And also, as Abraham says, remember that: "It is DONE!"

Hope it helps.


answered 30 Nov '14, 11:33

Kriegerd's gravatar image


I love this thought :)

(30 Nov '14, 11:52) Olga Farber

Actually, it helps a lot, thanks, @Kriegerd! I have experienced a lot of emotional change lately, for the better. Working/obsessing over this particular goal led me here and most of what I know about Abraham-Hicks, I've learned from posters like yourself. The emotional approach just seems to click with me in a way that ritualistic or psychological systems don't. After years of battling depression, I can now observe my emotional state, put it on a chart, and deal with it.

(30 Nov '14, 13:38) Concolitanos

Glad it helped! :-). Keep going at it and easy does it. All the best.

(30 Nov '14, 14:27) Kriegerd
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

An answer to purely the topic question: to choose the thoughts about it that feel better.

"Just feel for it", as Abraham say :)

It's a rewarding process all by itself - to feel for the answers to your question that feel better.

And to "I'm just thinking that anything could have happened, like meeting someone who happens to know a person who knows a person, etc. But this adventure was purely solo and maybe an internal shift was all that was required...?" - I think if you could leave out the thought that there is a final destination to this path - the marrying that soulmate, but that it is the path that matters, then you may start see it in satisfying the inspiration that comes driving the path.

It is kind of a manifestation - to meet outwardly the desire, the inspiration that came from inside. If you could let yourself feel that inspiration a bit more with the attention to it, itself, in the moment, without expecting it to lead somewhere, and then you would satisfy this inspiration on the outside, somehow, the way that would feel good for you, you might feel how this is the moment of the path. Satisfaction on the way, joy on the way, elation on the way, life on the way.

P.S. A video that feels like to be quoted here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jVBREiJ2aw

I don't quite know logically why, it just feels like an in the moment inspiration, so I'm satifsfying it. :)

P.P.S Bashar has a lot of material about the excitement being self-contained kit and every little, seeming to be unrelated, excitement on the way, being still connected to "the" thing, because all your excitement is the feeling of Who You Are, and also about "zero expectation". If I find a video about it pointed, I will add it here. Maybe someone else remembers a clip like this and can add it here, too.

P.P.P.S I want to add here my opinion about the suggestion that you "goofed the opportunity".

First of all, Abraham always say that there is no such thing as you showing up in your dock and seeing your ship gone: there will always be an another ship, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another, and another..

Next, if our emotional response is our feedback from Source, if the thought we're thinking is serving us, I wonder, when the thought "I goofed my opportunity" would feel good? Maybe only as a better feeling thought after a really helpless one, "these are all circumstances, life is just against me, I never get what I want" etc. But then when you find thoughts that are higher than that, I doubt it that it would feel good = would be serving you.

It can feel good when you say "I seized the opportunity!" - about your past, that you did succeed in something. Yet again, the very model of having to seize the opportunity, clearly brings some tension into equation.

And when it's in the future, the thought "I must seize the opportunity, or else", "never returns", I have to be on the lookout for the opportunity and act fast, even if I don't feel like Hell Yes at that moment, or else" - it's a motivation, not an inspiration, it gives a lack feeling, a lack vibration.

"The Universe will always bring me another manifestation, and another, and another, it will never-endingly support me, there is no rush, I can play vibrationally, it's all vibration anyway" feels better to me.

And one more thing: "seizing the opportunity" is of a model, where you have to have the conditions to feel good. Where the conditions let you feel something, that you can't achieve without them. While when the matter is of your connection to your Source, and the conditions just an expression, something that follows - something that always IS, somehow, then you feel differently and you see it differently.

Something I just found in my blog, posted long ago, while looking for an exact quotation about the ships:

Q: What would you most value in friendship? What should we be looking for in each other?

Abraham: Nothing. You should look for your connection to Source, and in connection to Source, you are self sufficient. And then you radiate to all, value.

Q: But, we all have a desire to...we have something called loneliness.

Abraham: But loneliness means you are looking for something in a way that does not allow the full essence of who you are to flow through you. In other words, we would look to others for example of well-being, but we would not ask anything from another to fill any void within ourself. We would understand that any void can only be filled by allowance of connection to that which is our Source. Sometimes you look to others, you find someone, someone for example, someone who loves you, and as they hold you as their object of attention, oh it does feel delicious, because in their love of you, they are connected to Source energy and they are flooding it all over you, and you say oh this feels so good, but now you need their undivided attention, if they give their attention to someone else or something else, then you feel like a puppet that somebody has let go of the strings. Where if you are interested in the feeling of love flowing through you rather than being loved by someone else, now you are utterly self sufficient, now you are connected to this eternal stream.

It gives a different angle to it all, doesn't it?


answered 30 Nov '14, 05:04

Olga%20Farber's gravatar image

Olga Farber

edited 30 Nov '14, 19:17

IQ%20Moderator's gravatar image

IQ Moderator ♦♦


Thanks for this answer, @Olga! The video was just brilliant. I don't have an external figure like a Fred to obsess over but other than that, my situation feels very similar to that of the woman asking. I'm taking your advice to heart, as well. I think I'll turn my focus to my health and more self-sufficiency.

(30 Nov '14, 18:43) Concolitanos

:) I'm so glad it was helpful to you :) By the way, here's a "Fred clone 2013" video YouTube brought to me yesterday as I was re-watching Fred:


I also wanted to add, after reading @corduroypower's answer, that maybe even what you felt now, the way you reacted now, even it is leading you the most effective, the most pleasurable, the most satisfying way, to what you really want? Maybe this situation was there to create exactly this reaction?

(01 Dec '14, 02:35) Olga Farber

As look - it led you to post your question here, and there're so many great answers, giving food for thought :)

And one more thing.. I think, the feeling, going after the feeling can be key, too. Meaning, you just said, you don't have the outside figure to obsess about, so you have the possibility to discover from inside, how being with your Vortex partner would feel, maybe you could catch some of that feeling in that park?

(01 Dec '14, 02:35) Olga Farber

As, if emotion is a manifestation, what if you could catch some emotion there in the park, and not physically meeting someone who would know someone etc..? :)

(01 Dec '14, 02:36) Olga Farber
showing 1 of 4 show 3 more comments

I heard an Abraham session recently where Abe says, to someone who has a problem, that humans tend to obsess about the problem (the "imbalance") and deny that it's part of the solution. Their example was walking. When you're walking, for quite a bit of the stride, you're "off-balance". Your leg swings forward, you're not balanced, right? But it's part of the process of walking. It's only when you (I am paraphrasing) take a snapshot of that one moment in time where you're imbalanced that you conclude that everything is going wrong.

It has been a really helpful metaphor to me.

What if NOTHING has gone wrong with your journey toward your soulmate? What if this thing you're going through right now, if you stop resisting it, is changing you and your reality in exactly the precise way that will line you up to bump into your soulmate, primed for epic love?

In other words, what if you ease up on your response, and assume that whatever is happening is good and moving you toward what you want?


answered 30 Nov '14, 14:56

corduroypower's gravatar image



just great! thank you!

(30 Nov '14, 14:58) Olga Farber

You couldn't possibly be suggesting common sense, could you, @corduroypower? ;)

My mistake was reading meaning into an emotion-based process. When, in fact, I went, felt relief from the going, and finding relief is the way to navigate this process so yeah, I guess it is perfectly fine.

(30 Nov '14, 19:19) Concolitanos

I am wondering if perhaps you are really asking, "How do I interpret the questionable results of my inspired action(s)?"

This is a very good question. First of all, I would ask you this: When you said to yourself that you were going to find your soul-mate, weren't you really acknowledging your lack of a soul-mate? And in a mission to correct this lack, under the rules of the LOA, aren't you instead going to actually create more lack?

The urge to be mated, to be in a great, stable relationship, is a huge part of being human. Having a mate you love, a person to share your life with, feels absolutely terrific. But it is unbelievably complicated in the light of the LOA. It's hard to ignore such a strong desire when you know that living in that state of expectancy all the time just leaves you endlessly expectant. There is such a fine line to tread here: To have this enormous urge, to be pounded by the media, by the marketing industry, by biology, and by family, and society- to have this urge and then to be told by the LOA to put that request out there, and then leave it alone...OMG. It sounds really impossible. It sounds very, very hard.

alt text

Finally, when endless nights in a little single bed have been spent, devotedly following every rule, every discipline, every single ritual the gurus of love have dictated, one ends up feeling very alone and wanting nothing more than a good cuddle. You are almost to be forgiven when a little scrap of hope comes along. I would be the first person to dash off in pursuit of that possible link to The Great and Wonderful Future, and I would almost be sure to have the Universe reply to this eager, hopeful, and certainly impulsive behavior by blowing me a big raspberry, and leaving me feeling like a total fool.

alt text

I have been mentor to quite a few young women, and all of them had almost only one thing on their minds: find a guy. I saw pretty quickly that the harder that they tried to get a guy, the more they failed to get a guy. I tried to tell them to focus on themselves, to enrich themselves with education, with work, with travel- anything but finding a guy. (I certainly had learned this one for myself!) For some reason, it always seemed to take a year of awful hard turn-downs before they tried the advice they had asked me for...And, sure enough, when these women turned away from chasing after men, they all very quickly ended up finding the man of their dreams.

When the path I am on starts to feel hard, I have found that it means that I must change what I am doing altogether. God really does want us to be happy (Or the Universe, or your Higher Power- God, as you understand Him)! If you had to do all of this, and all you manifested was a small clue about a park...well, hmmm. Were you actually inspired, or did you mistake grasping at really small straws for inspiration? Maybe, if you let go and let God, and get busy doing something else...well, just maybe that park will turn out to be the place you and your wonderful new honey get married in...And what you are feeling today about that park is waves of happiness from your future. :)

alt text


Jaianniah ♥


answered 30 Nov '14, 12:33

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 30 Nov '14, 14:49

Honestly, the whole thing has been strange, like a period of falling apart and rebuilding. A few years ago, I visualized leaving a job that was killing me that manifested very solidly and followed with losing my home, investments, etc. and now, I'm out in a city I've always wanted to live in going back to school. It's either a midlife crisis or I've released enough negativity to start manifesting the life I've always wanted. In any case, she felt like "the next logical step"...

(30 Nov '14, 18:52) Concolitanos

almost planned. I'd like her to be with me as I develop my new career and wealth, etc. When I looked at my past work for building a portfolio (drawings, fiction), she shows up with unusual regularity so she's always been there. I think you're certainly right about grasping at straws. The sculpture of the rings felt like a wink or a nod but beyond that, I do feel somewhat the fool. I do have plenty of other goals though so should stop digging up the seed to see if it's taking root, so to speak.

(30 Nov '14, 18:58) Concolitanos

http://www.inwardquest.com/questions/93004/how-can-i-expect-a-partner-when-ive-been-alone-all-my-life here is a question I asked earlier, which relates to some of this discussion.

(30 Nov '14, 19:46) Inner Beauty

Jaianniah, I'm still not sure what is best - to 'give up' on the idea of finding someone, or to completely 'turn towards' and focus on manifesting. There are people who support both. I know for much of my life I wasn't looking and didn't meet anyone and when I decided to focus on finding someone through visualisation etc - I still didn't meet anyone! Definitely though not focusing on it feels better and helps my vibration, so maybe you are right and that is the way to go!:-)

(30 Nov '14, 19:48) Inner Beauty

@Concolitanos- I had to chuckle when I read your comments. Yes, perhaps it is time to stop digging! I tried to express how hard that must be. I do remember that not so long ago, I was suddenly alone, thirty-odd years of marriage down the tubes. I tried very hard to focus on "improving" myself- I even re-enrolled in college, and worked towards finishing my degree. But I was so surprised when it seemed that God had other plans for me. ;) Wade and I joked a bit about this...(cont. below)

(30 Nov '14, 23:53) Jaianniah

(-cont.)- We both worked on manifesting, and that led us both to IQ, and being on IQ led us to each other. Now that is manifesting with a vengeance! I really had no plans when I started corresponding with him by email. He just seemed so nice, and I always felt that I just had to reply to all of his emails. It all has worked itself out. Now, if we could just figure out how to manifest some money as easily! ♥

(30 Nov '14, 23:58) Jaianniah

@Inner Beauty- I truly know what you mean about this struggle between either ignoring the problem, or going at it, head-on. I never seem to know which to do. But I learned fairly young that putting all of my attention onlack never felt very good. But ignoring our lack of money does not seem to be working very well. I guess it is a new test of the LOA. Since we are desperately broke, it is becoming harder and harder to make an intentful wish and just forget it. Just as you tried...

(01 Dec '14, 00:06) Jaianniah

@Inner Beauty- (cont.)- ...to ignore your lack of a man. Sometimes I wonder why the Universe seems to be able to respond so fast to trouble, and so slow to finding a solution. I will pray that you find Mr. Right...right under your nose! LOL! ♥

(01 Dec '14, 00:09) Jaianniah

@Jaianniah - that is so sweet and kind. Thank you! What I do know is that ignoring something when you really do feel it is a problem doesn't work, so perhaps your suggestion to just be happy and not see it as a problem is the best. I hope finances change for you soon. I took Derek Rydall's 'Awakened Wealth' course earlier in the year and it was really life changing. It didn't make a huge change to my finances, but I stopped being in the red and had a much better outlook on money.

(01 Dec '14, 10:25) Inner Beauty

He does free podcasts and I really recommend him as someone who can change your outlook and help you see past your present reality. I also see a more spiritual perspective in his work on manifesting than a lot of other perspectives that focus on physical manifestation for purely one's own happiness.

(01 Dec '14, 10:27) Inner Beauty
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments

I'd suggest you have a quick read through the following three answers by @Stingray, which should give you some clarity:

Not all inspired actions will lead you to a manifestation. Many will lead you to a path to manifestation.

Wait for the "Hell, yeah" moment.

Take it easy.


answered 01 Dec '14, 13:32

cod2's gravatar image


edited 01 Dec '14, 17:33

Thanks for these, @cod2! One of these days, I should just read everything Stingray has ever posted :)

(02 Dec '14, 06:04) Concolitanos

@concolitanos, that would be a very good idea. Go for it.

(02 Dec '14, 06:24) cod2

As I read this, my thought is that you totally blew the opportunity to manifest your soul mate. Think of it like you are flowing down stream. There is a fork in the stream if you pick which side you want you can't turn around and say you goofed up and want to try the other side, it would be too late you keep flowing in the direction you are moving in.

Had my Jaianniah not come to see me or had I not responded by following up with her, that would have been blown as well. We would not had ended up together.

I know that there are plenty of past things that I blew the opportunity for in the past, they are gone, never to return. Example, Jai and I could have bought a beautiful fold up bicycle from Good Will for $50.00 but we had already spent our money and didn't want to try to take everything back in return for the bike. We totally blew the opportunity and that bike was sold to someone that jumped at the opportunity that we did not jump at.

Someone else may come along, just be ready to jump at the opportunity when it shows up, don't mess up the next one.


answered 30 Nov '14, 07:22

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 30 Nov '14, 07:25


I see what you're saying, Wade. Had I gone in August when the urge struck, the beach would been packed and she may likely have been there. I feel like this trip was a form of closure. Missing my shot was bugging me so I think going this time was to close the door on this one, get some relief from skipping the opportunity and prepare for the next one. If nothing else, seeing those giant engagement rings tells me the universe isn't done with this conversation.

(30 Nov '14, 22:27) Concolitanos

The universe isn't done with this conversation! Love it, yes we are all here learning to get things right. :-)

(01 Dec '14, 01:18) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi @Concolitanos- There is a reason they call it "Falling" in Love... :) ♥

(01 Dec '14, 05:15) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

Thank you for your question, as I really want to know the answer too as I had a similar thing happen to me. I had a very strong feeling and voice in my head to visit a particular bookshop a couple of years ago after listening to some meditations about manifesting a soulmate. After some hesitation, I did finally go there, hung around a bit and then thought to myself, "what am I doing here"?!!! And I did feel rather silly at the time as no potential person appeared who was vaguely interested in talking to me. But who knows? Maybe I needed to have stayed a bit longer? But anyhow looking back I don't regret it. It kind of a felt like a nice romantic thing to do, even though the person I was meeting turned out to be only in my imagination!! :-) If I got another feeling to do something similar, I think I would do it again. First of all - you never know. I have definitely heard of people meeting someone after being inspired to doing something or going to a specific place. Secondly, even if you don't meet someone, you might have a new and different experience. And very often something else happens that might have significance in your life even if it's not the thing you expected. I'm pretty sure I bought a book that day that helped me in some way.


answered 30 Nov '14, 19:38

Inner%20Beauty's gravatar image

Inner Beauty

edited 30 Nov '14, 19:42


This is what I was telling Concolitanos hesitation is the deal breaker. Imagine you are a baseball player and someone hits a high ball in your direction. If you start to run now, you may catch it, but you decide to hesitate before running to catch it. You of course miss the catch because you did not act when you needed to.

As Joe Vitale said in the secret when the iron is hot you must strike. You must move soon as you get guided to. Otherwise you will miss it.

(30 Nov '14, 22:09) Wade Casaldi

I see what you mean Wade! Definitely will try to catch the wave of the intuition next time!

(01 Dec '14, 04:55) Inner Beauty

And not run away at the first chance!

(01 Dec '14, 04:57) Inner Beauty
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Asked: 30 Nov '14, 02:35

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