Until now I have used the simple test that if something feels easy and simple then I tend to go with that. But now I have a situation where nothing is simple.

I am an IT contractor. At my current client site I report to a man who is very political, manipulative and generally disliked. Yes, I know that I have attracted this person and that now I am judging him – but let's keep that aside for the time being. My question is around practical moment-by-moment decision making.

This person and I work as a small team of two. He has made it clear that he wants to be the spokesman and that I shouldn’t really contradict him in front of others. He gets aggressive when questioned. I thought initially that was the direction of the flow and so I played along, because the alternative was a lot of aggro. I never contradicted him in open forums and made no attempt to correct him – even though most of what he says makes me cringe. I just kept my head down and did whatever I was specifically asked to deliver. I wasn’t happy inside because what I saw troubled me, and that’s not how I work, and everyone wants to enjoy what they do – but I said to myself “Hey, what do I know? A flow is a flow – just play along”. Every time he'd ask me “Do you agree?”, I'd lie and say “Yes, I agree”, because I had worked out early on that saying “No, I don’t agree” only leads to trouble.

Then in a meeting one day, with everyone already fed up with this person, they turned to me and asked me directly what I thought. I said the first thing that came to my mind, which was what I truly thought, i.e. exactly opposite to everything this person stands for. Everyone else agreed with what I said.

Predictably, this person now has taken this as an affront and become hostile.

So what was the flow here? Did I go with the flow or against it?

What is the 100% foolproof indicator of which way the flow is at any point in time?

Edit (06-03-2015)

After I wrote this question, it occurred to me that while I thought I was going with the flow in the first instance, I wasn't. I was unhappy and I was complaining inside, which is not much different from physically fighting something.

asked 05 Mar '15, 04:33

cod2's gravatar image

cod2
2.6k124

edited 06 Mar '15, 06:27


'The Flow' is another way of saying 'the vortex'. It refers to the SOURCE end of the stick on any and all subjects. Source's view, your Inner Being's view on the world stands firmly in LOVE. Source is always in the vortex and you are either standing alongside Source on a subject or you're not. (You can easily tell if you're standing with Source on a subject by your feelings of positive emotion. If you feel any emotion below neutral and into negative emotion then you're not agreeing with the Source on that particular subject.)

If you look at the EGS, you can see that the top end of the scale (Source's view) centres on the emotions of 1. Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Appreciation/Love.

On the subject of this gentleman that you work with. You described him as manipulative and generally disliked. (That's probably number 10. on the EGS which is, Frustration/Irritation/Impatience). That is where you vibrational setpoint resides on this man so the Universe MUST give you scenarios to match that. So, you will find yourself in situations where he acts to reinforce your view of him, he 'acts up'. He can do nothing else in your reality because he can only behave in the way that you create him to be. He must match up to your view of him.

The problem you will also have when your interacting with him is that your opinion of him is set at 10. Frustration etc. and Source's view on him is set at 1. Love etc so that's quite a disagreement you're having with Source on this particular subject. As Source won't leave 1. to join you and you're sticking firmly at 10. that large gap between your two viewpoints will be felt as your negative emotion.

Source is effectively calling you to join up together and see the man through the vibrational setpoint of number 1. Source knows if you see him through the eyes of that love-based setpoint you will feel positive emotion and your experiences with him will be all positive and Source will always try to call you to that. You can follow Source or you can not, that is up to you, of course.

Ultimately, what we're all trying to do in this life is agree with Source on as many subjects as possible. Staying in the flow/the Vortex as much as we can so that we feel dominant, positive emotions on a consistent everyday basis.

That's living in the flow (the Vortex), but it does take some practice. :)

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answered 13 Mar '15, 12:01

Yes's gravatar image

Yes
4.3k312

2

Very nice answer, @Yes.

(13 Mar '15, 15:53) cod2

The "flow" is quite simply in the direction of your greatest Joy. What makes you feel the best? What do you love to do?

Do it. It is just that simple.

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answered 13 Mar '15, 07:50

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill
11.6k1693

yes, just do it :)

(24 May '15, 02:08) jaz
But now I have a situation where nothing is simple.

I once said to someone, "when life is constantly kicking the bench from under you, you learn to hold on to the air with your teeth, and with time and practice, you start to really succeed in it."

I find that life tends to remove from me all the ways I used to rely on, including choosing physical circumstances to participate in, decisions in situations etc. The farther it goes, the more I come to just "finding the relief", then "finding the relief" again, then again, and so on.

As AH say, making finding a relief more important than finding the solution.

I just kept my head down and did whatever I was specifically asked to deliver. I wasn't happy inside because what I saw troubled me, and that's not how I work, and everyone wants to enjoy what they do - but I said to myself "Hey, what do I know? A flow is a flow - just play along". Every time he'd ask me "Do you agree?", I'd lie and say "Yes, I agree", because I had worked out early on that saying "No, I don't agree" only leads to trouble.

I once saw an AH clip on YouTube, from a seminar they had, it was a question about food. They said, yes, eating a cookie is a path of least resistance, but no one said you should make it the last step!

What usually happens, is that in a sadness, we choose to go for a cookie, and it does comfort us and helps us feel better, but the next step we usually blame ourselves for doing it or just go again to the worrisome thoughts. While what could be done, is finding the next relieving step.

And what I found, the most relieving step is usually for me an ice cream finding a thought that feels better. And an ice cream, yes :) When I manage to hold it in good feeling thoughts.

So my answer would be.... to ask you, why you want to find "the 100% foolproof indicator of which way the flow is at any point in time." To be right? To come to feeling good eventually? To know that you're going in the right direction in a specific situation? To once decide and then follow a path you know you won't judge yourself on it?

What if there wasn't a 100% foolproof indicator, what would you do? Would you listen inside a bit more? Would you try to find a guidance in each case separately, listening inside? Would you give a bit more permission to yourself, to what you want in any case?

What if there was no right answer?

And what if every such situation doesn't matter by itself, it matters what you do with it, and more than that, which thoughts you choose about it?

Not trying to foolproof yourself from now on forever, just making letting yourself feel better in the current moment, then the next current moment, then the next current moment..

Which thoughts would you choose then about the situation above, how then would you describe it?

I myself would start with this:
1. Focus delight (general)
then this:
3. 3-3-3 (visibility, security, openness)
then this:
46. Praising you (our own Babemba)
and this:
52. Questions for a new week

This one is a good reference, too.

But I think it is better to find that guidance inside, in every single case. And then continue going higher.

Be happy :)

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answered 05 Mar '15, 07:48

Olga%20Farber's gravatar image

Olga Farber
1.8k7

edited 05 Mar '15, 17:21

"Why you want to find "the 100% foolproof indicator of which way the flow is at any point in time."

Answer: To follow the advice "Go with the flow". If it's possible to go with the flow without knowing what the flow is, please let me know.

"What if there wasn't a 100% foolproof indicator, what would you do?"

Answer: Then I'd conclude that the concept of going with the flow is just a waste of time.

(05 Mar '15, 09:13) cod2

"Would you listen inside a bit more? Would you try to find a guidance in each case separately, listening inside? Would you give a bit more permission to yourself, to what you want in any case?"

Answer: Very vague suggestions I'm afraid - and lead to all kinds of contradictions. See below.

(05 Mar '15, 09:13) cod2

"And what if every such situation doesn't matter by itself, it matters what you do with it, and more than that, which thoughts you choose about it?"

Answer: If no situation matters, then logically it also doesn't ultimately matter if we go with the flow or not, or if we listen inside ourselves or not, because they are also "things" and "concepts". I am happy with the premise that absolutely nothing matters. Are you?

(05 Mar '15, 09:13) cod2

"...just making letting yourself feel better in the current moment, then the next current moment, then the next current moment.."

Answer: And why does THAT matter?

(05 Mar '15, 09:13) cod2
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

Another way to know which way the flow is, by being in a constant state of allowing, moving with the life stream, allowing people and circumstances to be as they are, without judgments, having no expectations, letting go of the need to control, and this is just one of many different terms of being in alignment, we all have our own methods but they all have one conclusion, being one with source.

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answered 31 May '15, 23:32

Kreatr's gravatar image

Kreatr
1.5k36

"Go with the flow" (YOU say) and "how do I know which way the flow is?"

The phrase 'go with the flow' is an original American idiom generally spouted by individuals who are not resolute or committed enough to their own views. There is nothing positive, healthy, or helpful about going with the flow unless you are lazy and just do not care about your direction in life. Going with the flow is more often a cop out for people to afraid to stand up for what they truly believe.

The circumstances you described are a perfect example. You are being looked up to as a spokesperson for a group of people and instead of standing up for the ideas that both you and they agree on, you would rather succumb to some silly slogan invented by some laid back stoner.

There is, however, nothing wrong with going with the flow if it is you who has determined which way it is. Standing up to your associate may not change anything in this instance, but it will get you the respect from others in the group that will likely benefit you at some point in the future!

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answered 05 Mar '15, 10:49

i4cim2b's gravatar image

i4cim2b
2.6k28

edited 05 Mar '15, 10:51

2

"The phrase 'go with the flow' is an original American idiom generally spouted by individuals who are not resolute or committed enough to their own views."

Some might disagree....

(05 Mar '15, 11:14) cod2
2

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them. That only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like" - Lao Tzu

"I am like a cast-off leaf in the wind. The wind propels that leaf to everywhere it likes" - Ramakrishna Paramahansa

"Whatever you fight, you strengthen, and what you resist, persists" ― Eckhart Tolle

(05 Mar '15, 11:14) cod2

Like I said, you're just making excuses for not having the guts to stand up for what you believe, opting instead to use a misconstrued slogan (go with the flow) to justify your inability to voice your opinion. The examples you have given are not applicable to the circumstances you described. Your IT job issue is not born out of a "natural or spontaneous change". You are not a leaf in the wind blowing through your corporate career. I your case, however, Eckhart Tolle may be accurate.

(05 Mar '15, 19:56) i4cim2b
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

You went against the flow when you spoke and criticized another. It's ok, though. No judgmental there. It is what it is. Continue focusing on what you appreciate and creating a happy experience for yourself.

Give as little attention to the negativity you feel towards him. Find a way to appreciate something about him, or keep getting off the subject and focusing on happier things except when you have to talk to him, and always be Nice/Kind.

The energy you give, you get back - your vibration is your atttaction (manifestation).

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answered 04 Jun '15, 17:35

arpgme's gravatar image

arpgme
4.4k15

"You went against the flow when you spoke and criticized another"

not necessarily! If it was up from the state he was in, it is not against the flow! It's only then important not to stay at that stage (or start blaming himself), but to continue moving up, this time resolving the energy in the ways that would feel better than blaming otehrs.

(04 Jun '15, 17:45) Olga Farber
1

Yes, it's important not to judge yourself and continue to Alignment. Offering resistance (fault-finding, criticizing) is going against the flow, because when you are in Alignment your Awareness isn't on "lack" and "dislike", but even that's OK because it helps you to be aware of where you are so you can return Alignment/Flow/Joy.

It's called Law of Attraction, not law of exclusion. Energy goes where attention flows. It's important to give energy to what we DO like rather than what we don't.

(04 Jun '15, 17:55) arpgme
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Asked: 05 Mar '15, 04:33

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