I think I've worked out that one of my main challenges is that I'm just afraid of tomorrow, not only the bad, but also the good. For example, I want to meet 'the one' - but not today, later... later sometime when I am feeling well, looking good etc... but today is not the day... I'm busy with other things. I want to get a better job, but today I'm happy to just do the things on my to do list .. . I guess it could be put down to a fear of failure or success that many of us share. But I'm wondering if there is something else fundamentally underneath this that makes me many of us afraid of going forward.... is it just the 'subconscious' wanting to keep things in status quo... or some fundamental fear of life? Has anyone been able to overcome this challenge and see big shifts in their outlook and approach to life? I'm sure many have, but would be grateful for any views on how to overcome this 'fear' of change and of moving forward. Is it just dealing with the fear and resistance as each comes up or addressing something more fundamental?

asked 18 Jun '15, 23:10

Inner%20Beauty's gravatar image

Inner Beauty

edited 18 Jun '15, 23:14


Hi @Inner Beauty, imagine I'm your magic genie and I can grant you three wishes, but there's one condition; you must tell me being very precise why you want what you wish for.

"what's your first wish?"

(18 Jun '15, 23:37) jaz

Hi Jaz, I have a feeling you're going to tell me the real reason for what I want is to be happy??? :-) But, to answer your question, I think what I would really wish for is to have freedom to experience life - travel, meet people, be useful without burdens and 'should's'. Precisely why? Yes, I want to experience the joy of life and not be held back by current circumstances

(19 Jun '15, 03:49) Inner Beauty

ok @Inner Beauty lets play the mirror game

"why do you wish to have freedom?"

(19 Jun '15, 04:02) jaz

to be happy and at peace

(19 Jun '15, 04:38) Inner Beauty

"ok so you don't really want to have freedom what you really wish for is to be happy and at peace and you think that freedom will make that possible, is that correct?"

(19 Jun '15, 05:17) jaz

yes that must be the underlying reason.

(19 Jun '15, 07:28) Inner Beauty

Abraham says 'there is no light at the end of the tunnel if going through the tunnel isn't fun' @jaz is right in that you only really want to be over there because you think you will better travelling, meeting people etc over there then you feel now over here. But, that's not possible, your vibrational habits determine what you're feeling. The thoughts you think determine how you're feeling in any moment. This is why we get confused when we see celebrities going off the rails, taking drugs...

(19 Jun '15, 08:50) Yes

.. or in extreme cases committing suicide. How can they do that we think to ourselves when they have all the things that I am waiting for before I can be happy. They have the luxury homes, the designer clothes, money the perfect life and they're not happy? Directing what you think which dictates how you feel is the only thing that will make you happy. There is no experience or thing that can do that for you. But, that's good to know because it means you can be happy NOW, you control it, just you

(19 Jun '15, 08:53) Yes

ok @Inner Beauty

"What's your second wish?

(19 Jun '15, 08:54) jaz

I guess it would be to have someone to experience life with

(19 Jun '15, 10:46) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty

"What would it bring you to experience life ?"

(19 Jun '15, 10:57) jaz

@Jaz generally more fun, mainly ability to do things that I wouldn't be brave enough to do on my own e.g. travel to certain places and share the experiences with someone

(20 Jun '15, 04:38) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty ok so you don't really want to have someone what you really want is to have more fun and you think that having someone would make that possible, is that correct?

(20 Jun '15, 06:05) jaz

yes @jaz - that's true.... rather selfish reasons for wanting someone.... but also I guess to give love, care and support to someone.....

(20 Jun '15, 06:15) Inner Beauty

ok @Inner Beauty

"What's your third wish?"

(20 Jun '15, 07:11) jaz

Use my talents - feel like they are not being used...

(20 Jun '15, 07:14) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty

"If you used your talents what would it bring you?"

(20 Jun '15, 07:20) jaz

fulfilment, joy, self-esteem, feel of value

(20 Jun '15, 07:22) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty "ok so you don't really want to use your talents what you really wish for is fulfilment, joy, self-esteem, feel of value and you think that using your talents would bring you all that, is that correct?"

(20 Jun '15, 09:02) jaz

yes @jaz! :-)

(20 Jun '15, 09:47) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty

Let's resume; we've observed that the hidden motivation for everything you do is always a feeling, whatever you say you wish for is just an imagined pathway into the feeling you really want, and ultimately the feeling was always happiness or an associated feeling, let's say group of happiness feelings (fun, joy, excitement) those that are usually labeled highly "positive" emotions.

Consider this;

what you think will happen when you get what you want "never" happens.

(20 Jun '15, 11:15) jaz

Thanks @Jaz. You made that very easy to understand! So just be happy now?

(20 Jun '15, 11:21) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty and the million dollar question is

what is "happiness?"

(20 Jun '15, 11:25) jaz

This is going to sound circular, but to me happiness is freedom from worries.... I'm sure it's more than this but that's what it would look like for me..... A state of being without worry about the future in particular but also the present and past

(20 Jun '15, 12:34) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty believe me there's a lot more to it than that :) you have certainly experienced complete happiness often, what do you really enjoy doing that puts you in the "vortex" for want of a better word ... some enjoy sports, others reading, listening to music ... what really turns you on?

(20 Jun '15, 13:45) jaz

"Why do I keep wanting to delay the future?" ... because I want to stop the world turning and get off ...


(21 Jun '15, 00:21) jaz

@jaz - thanks for that. I don't think there is much at the moment that puts me into the "vortex", but I will definitely start working on it. Yesterday I came across an ad for a voice and drama teacher and I've been wanting to do something with my speaking voice for a while, so perhaps I'll pursue that.

(21 Jun '15, 03:27) Inner Beauty

And good suggestions in the "wikihow" article. I think I'll start with singing "I'm a survivor"! :-)

(21 Jun '15, 03:30) Inner Beauty

ok @Inner Beauty I feel a bit like a survivor too ... when I ask what do you enjoy, it can be simply an everyday activity ... do you enjoy watching a favourite tv program, reading a good book, looking after children, cooking, talking with a friend, (talking with me via IQ) ? ... something that you enjoy doing that takes your mind off the mundane

(21 Jun '15, 05:08) jaz

Thanks @Jaz, definitely being on IQ and reading up on spiritual psychology is something that I enjoy! And thanks for the help and conversation. It feels so good to be supported. Yes, there are definitely things that I enjoy doing that I've stopped... e.g. watching TV, going to the movies, reading books.... you are right I must go back to doing those things.

(21 Jun '15, 09:06) Inner Beauty

@Inner Beauty what does it stir in you when you are supported, when you watch tv, when you read books?

(21 Jun '15, 10:32) jaz

@Inner Beauty as we've already seen it's "feelings" and what happens when I read a good book, see an exciting movie, etc ...? I experience a whole range of feelings ... and this gives a clue to what happiness really is

(21 Jun '15, 12:16) jaz

@Inner Beauty "Happiness" is often depicted as being a feeling amongst many others on an emotional scale, yet in an exciting film for example you may experience many feelings including "negative" emotions of fear, anger, powerlessness however the action is fast and they all blend together to form a enjoyable story, a "positive" experience

(21 Jun '15, 12:26) jaz

when I'm doing something I really enjoy I can experience a whole range of emotions. I used to be a vehicle thief, I was good at it and gained a lot of money fast(yummy), sometimes it was dangerous, sometimes I was afraid, it took a lot of hard work, planning, mental and physical energy, I fear in my gut very very often, so why did I do it? it was so damned exciting, I enjoyed every minute of it. Happiness is to experience as wide a range of emotions as possible even those labeled "negative"

(21 Jun '15, 12:35) jaz

so what do I now know? I know through personal experience that any emotional scale depicting emotions as positive or negative is a load of -------- (I'll leave you to fill in the blanks, if I printed the word I have in mind I risk getting my account suspended, but I think you get the idea, in fact I'm sure of it!)

(21 Jun '15, 12:45) jaz

@jaz - I think you're saying just live life without overthinking or worry about how you're feeling?

(23 Jun '15, 02:53) Inner Beauty

@Inner beauty what I'm saying is that I feel "Anger" ... a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility

(23 Jun '15, 03:23) jaz

ok, the opposite then! :-) Understand what you're feeling, speak with it, relate to it? I was trying to do this with some anger I had recently and it was effective - just trying to understand why something made me feel so angry.

(23 Jun '15, 05:09) Inner Beauty

@Inner beauty what made you feel so angry?

(23 Jun '15, 05:32) jaz

I've been living with my parents for a couple of months. My mum triggers me a lot and some of the things she does make me feel angry although usually I don't experience the emotion of anger that intensely and am rather placid. One thing she always does for example is take over in any conversation I am having with others... so I end up being invisible and unable to express myself. She does all the talking basically. This happened recently and I felt intensely angry with her.

(23 Jun '15, 11:12) Inner Beauty

I tried to understand why this made me so upset and I tried as an exercise to ask the anger why it was feeling so intense! I'm not sure if I figured it out, but I think it came down to not wanting to be controlled. I felt better after exploring for a bit.

(23 Jun '15, 11:16) Inner Beauty

When something triggers you in the outer world (I like to name it Story Space) you retreat into your Inner Space(Inner Space is that space within) to find peace and tranquility ... :) What do you think would happen if you separate what is happening in Story Space(which is outside of your body) from the emotions you're experiencing in Inner Space

(23 Jun '15, 13:16) jaz
showing 0 of 42 show 42 more comments

As long as you say to yourself, "Tomorrow I'll get what I want" or "I'll get it later," then it will never manifest in your current reality. The only moment that matters is right now. Do you feel good right now? Do you have a positive expectancy of your desire right now? Are you doing things and thinking thoughts that generate the feeling of having what you want right now?

It is not possible to "keep the status quo." Everything in the universe is made of moving energy. If energy stopped moving, then nothing would exist. Change is always happening for the good of you and everyone else. Everything we attract to ourselves is good because it causes us to learn and grow. So, there's no need to fear what lies ahead of you. Every life circumstance or situation you attract is for your benefit.

To release that fear/resistance you have, I'd suggest doing the resistance release exercise on this site. I think it will help you uncover the reasons why you're afraid. A belief is just a habitual way of thinking, so you just have to practice thinking about your life as you'd like it to be. This may seem difficult at first, but try it for about a minute and you will attract more like thoughts and feelings with ease.


answered 19 Jun '15, 09:48

Drops%20of%20Jupiter's gravatar image

Drops of Jupiter

@Drops of Jupiter I'm only interested in what I can actually observe in my own personal experience... It's clear to me that the path to "true" happiness is nothing like what you've been taught and accepted as true

(19 Jun '15, 10:22) jaz

This is a great answer. What you observe in your experience is what was in your previous thoughts. So mix up your thoughts a little. @Inner Beauty wants a partner. So, the universe has answered that request in the split second it was launched. So, you have your partner now @Inner Beauty. What are you and your partner having for dinner tonight? Are you going out or staying in? What are your plans for the weekend together? Isn't his birthday coming up? Did you buy him a gift yet? What did you get?

(19 Jun '15, 11:04) Yes

@Yes Do you have any tips on how to do this without the resistance of feeling delusional?

(19 Jun '15, 18:07) Bluebell


"What does feeling delusional bring you?"

(19 Jun '15, 23:23) jaz

@yes, @jaz, thank you for your comments. I resonate with bluebell's question - doing this would make me feel silly... and I do feel a strong resistance to it..... what if it never happens and then I'm left feeling foolish for asking my non-existent partner what he wants for dinner?

(20 Jun '15, 04:46) Inner Beauty

I'm trying to get my head around @jaz's question - what does feeling delusional bring you? Not sure I quite understand it.... but I think for me the biggest resistance is around feeling FOOLISH if it doesn't happen.

(20 Jun '15, 04:48) Inner Beauty

In fact I think I'm realising that one of my biggest fears is looking foolish or a loser!

(20 Jun '15, 04:53) Inner Beauty

@Drops of Jupiter - thank you for your answer (nice name by the way). I think it's true that I don't want things to change... maybe it's because I've had some traumatic events in life that where associated with a lot of change and I just want people and things in my life to stay the same at some level. I'll also have to stop thinking that "tomorrow I'll get what I want." very true. thanks again.

(20 Jun '15, 05:26) Inner Beauty

The easy answer is get in the vortex, when you're feeling good you have access to a more positive range of thoughts all the time, on all subjects. From outside the vortex it's more tricky... The fact is this, LOA is responding to your every thought and creating your reality from what you're thinking and feeling. So, if you're thinking about your partner then the LOA has to bring you a partner, that's universal law. You get what you think about. If you think about being delusional or foolish...

(20 Jun '15, 05:27) Yes

.. then LOA will bring you proof of that in your reality. The resistance that you feel to it is only because you're out of the vortex so the doubt voice is louder than the you can have everything and anything voice. Give up, let go of what you want would be faster for you than trying. If you give up on ever getting your relationship then your resistance (practiced negative thoughts on the subject) will go and the Universe can feed some positive thoughts/experiences to you through the gap.

(20 Jun '15, 05:30) Yes

Come on now Drops of Jupiter. Out with it. What's your original user id? No way you are new in this forum :-)

(20 Jun '15, 05:43) cod2

I'm kind of new. I've read posts on this forum for a while, but I rarely answer questions.

(20 Jun '15, 07:15) Drops of Jupiter
showing 2 of 12 show 10 more comments

Instead of overcoming the fear it would be much simpler to allow it to surface without judgment so it can dissolve on it's own, as there really is nothing to ''deal'' with, you see, we must be ready [allow] for what we wish to experience in our physical reality, and at the same time we must ''trust the timing'' of the manifestation knowing that it will be made physical at the appropriate time and place. It may take some time for the resistance to dissolve should you ''allow'' it, but to judge it as it surfaces will only reinforce it even more, delaying the desired reality. It is natural to be afraid of change and it's a process of allowing the fear to dissolve by itself without judgment [resistance] and this cannot be done by focusing on the future, only ''now'' matters. As being in the present becomes your dominant focus you will dissolve the [fear] resistance and come more from a place of relaxed joy/relief as well as ''embrace'' the uncertainties [changes] that lie ahead, allowing the shift to occur thus manifesting your desired reality. Sooner or later we'll stop fighting the stream and move ourselves into the flow of it, then everything would just take care of itself, but in the meantime we'll complicate the process, [I've gone through this myself] and that's okay, we are human and this is a learning process, and eventually we'll let go of the need to question and control the outcome, allowing everything [desired realities] to unfold in their own perfect time.


answered 21 Jun '15, 13:24

Kreatr's gravatar image


@Kreatr intellectually I fully understand what you're saying, however I know by experience that it's only personal experience that counts ... in other words the text shows me "what" I must do to change but it doesn't show me "how" to induce the emotional experience. For example explaining the sexual act to someone who never experienced it that person could say "oh yes I get it, you put that in there" ...

(21 Jun '15, 14:16) jaz

however the emotional experience when you actually do it is quite a bit different from just intellectual comprehension :)

(21 Jun '15, 14:23) jaz

letting go is a gradual, learning process, the ''how'' depends on the individual because we all have different approaches to alignment [clearing methods] so whatever helps you to induce the emotional experience you wish to experience would be completely up to you.

(22 Jun '15, 12:34) Kreatr

I completely agree with you that it's the personal experience that counts, but when it comes to how to induce your desired emotional experience it would depend on how much you are allowing, I didn't know how to induce the emotional experience myself, it just happened naturally when I learned to let go and allow.

(22 Jun '15, 12:49) Kreatr

@Kreatr "to induce your desired emotional experience" implies that the "target" is known ... this reminds me when I was at kindergarten the teacher said something that has always stuck in my mind, she said "If you don't know something ask me and i'll tell you what it is" lol ... how can I ask for something if I don't know what it is? if I don't even know that it exists? ... anyway in the phrase "I don't know how to induce the emotional experience myself, it just happens naturally" ..

(22 Jun '15, 14:07) jaz

the solution is in the phrase ... "it just happens naturally" lol

(22 Jun '15, 14:09) jaz

Indeed, that emotional experience does have a known target, which is simply finding/allowing the feeling of ''relief'' emotionally, and after learning to let go and allow [resistant thoughts] to surface and dissolve on their own, I always seem to end up in a neutral zone, it's working wonders, but I'm still a work in progress though.

(22 Jun '15, 16:36) Kreatr

"relief"? ... 6 symbols arranged in a certain order to form the symbol "relief" ... identification positive! possible definition of relief in The Free Dictionary "rescue from a siege" ... @kreatr what is hiding behind the symbol "relief"

(23 Jun '15, 00:14) jaz

thanks @Kreatr. Aiming for neutral zone for now.

(23 Jun '15, 11:06) Inner Beauty
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

known being replaced by unknown,
history of intrepidity,
beliefs of limited
futures, fear of growing


answered 19 Jun '15, 20:51

fred's gravatar image


true words again.

(20 Jun '15, 05:27) Inner Beauty

Wanting to delay the future is one indication that you are learning live in the moment. That is quite an accomplishment. In a sense, you are not really delaying the future; You are simply allowing it to present itself in the present. Learning to live for today in the most genuine terms, however, requires that you let go of the past as well. That can be much harder to achieve.

When you are able to release yourself from both past and future concerns, then all your attention and 'the power of intent' can be focused on whatever circumstances you are dealing with right now.


answered 22 Jun '15, 19:35

i4cim2b's gravatar image


Thanks @i4cim2b. That is encouraging.

(23 Jun '15, 11:03) Inner Beauty

SHE LET GO .... without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgements.

She let go of the opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the "right" reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn't ask for advice. She didn't read a book on how to let go. She just let go.

She let go of all the memories that held her back.

She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of all the planning and all the calculation, about how to do it just right.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and moon shone forever more.

Written by Ernest Holmes (1887 - 1960)

Love, Grace ;)


answered 23 Jun '15, 12:30

Grace's gravatar image


@Inner Beauty - I was just giving myself the gift of reading this poem again this morning, and it made me think of you. So I thought I'd share it with you. I hope it helps. :)

(23 Jun '15, 12:34) Grace
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Asked: 18 Jun '15, 23:10

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Last updated: 23 Jun '15, 13:16

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