This question may interest people struggling to become musicians.
I have been reading these questions and answers for a while and I really appreciate most of it, so I decided to ask my one burning question. This is a very complicated thing for me, and I have to tell the story before going to the point. I ask any person that has interest in it to be patient and read it through. I am already most grateful for any answers.
When I was five years old I had a friend, my neighbor, and she was a bit older than me. One day she took me into her house and played a song on her piano. Then and there I fell in love with the piano and this has never left my mind ever since. This happened 46 years ago.
My parents didn't have the means of giving me a piano and the dream of having a piano and learn how to play it was an impossible thing for me until, sixteen years ago, I finally bought one.
After I bought my piano, I started to take lessons, and I dedicated myself to the task of learning. I was intent on making my childhood dream come true.
As an adult, it was very difficult to learn how to play classical music at first. During the most part of ten years it was the most torturing thing I have ever experienced in my life.
I didn't give up, though.
In 2008 I watched the movie The Secret and it changed my life forever. I started to watch Abraham's videos on YouTube and read almost all of their books. In 2010 I also found Bashar's videos. I studied hard, learned that all by heart, started to apply the teachings and my life got better and better. I really believed that I could manifest my dream of becoming a good pianist.
That was hard, though. All teachers told me the same: I could learn up to a certain point, but to be a real pianist would be very hard, since I had started late in life (34 years old). I said: Ok, it doesn't matter, if I can learn enough so that I can teach, I'll be satisfied. The fact is that after sixteen years I really acquired a lot of knowledge about music theory and I have improved a lot on my playing.
However, after so many years torturing myself with the effort, my feelings of frustration took over, and instead of being satisfied with the good results, I was increasingly unhappy about them - never good enough. The end of the story is that now that I can play better, I feel bad about all the effort - I force myself into studying anyway, but I feel I don't really care about it anymore. I mean by that that I've got so frustrated about the whole story that the idea of playing the piano doesn't bring any excitement to my life anymore. As I read some questions and answers here, notably Stingray answers to some questions, some very interesting thoughts have come into my mind.
First: I have worked too hard - and Abraham sometimes tell that to people, that we should not work too hard on something.
Second: I have reached a point in which I feel I don't have that much interest in becoming a pianist anymore. But if that is so, am I not letting it go, if that is so, am I not right now on a better vibration about it all than I was before - thus, much nearer to manifestation than ever? If my indifference is any clue that I am now aligned with my Inner Being, that theoretically is already the pianist I wanted to be, wouldn't that mean that some miracle could happen that would manifest the abilities necessary to be a great pianist almost overnight and by magic? But when I think about that, I realize I still care a lot about my childhood dream, which, it seems, is the cause of my not getting the manifestation of it.
In one of Abraham's videos I watched some time ago, a man asked Abraham almost the same question with other words.
I said to myself: now this is it, now I am going to listen to them saying that all is possible and then...
They said it was hardly possible because his summoning of that desire had started too late in life!!! (Not Abraham's words, my interpretation of their answer).
It was the only time I heard such an answer from Abraham! That was and is surprising to me.
Now there are two aspects to this whole story: one is the hard work of studying the piano for long hours during sixteen years - that is to work too hard for something. At the end, I realize that at the time I really didn't believe that I could get there with less than that herculean effort. On the other hand, nobody becomes a pianist without studying every day - so how could I improve without that effort?
And to top that all... Abraham said it's impossible! (Actually, not possible in only one lifetime).
The fact is that when I think on giving up on my dream I feel miserable. But I also feel miserable about all that effort and the impossibility of achieving my goal.
What would you advise me to do? Let go of that effort and accept whatever results will come? If I stop studying, the results will never come!
I thank anyone who has taken time to read this through and for any answers.
Hmmm, interesting that Abraham says a piano career is not possible later in life, yet they say limbs can be regrown. I think most people would say the latter is less likely!
Do you get enjoyment out of playing? The way you describe it sounds like it's a grind. Have you tried your hand at other aspects such as composing? I tend to agree with Seth that, "If it's not fun, stop doing it." On the other hand, if you gave yourself a break, you might find yourself returning to the piano with fresh enthusiasm. And remember, you can perform in other venues besides classical concerts. Could be fun? http://geraldineinabottle.blogspot.com/2010/09/19-jobs-for-pianists.html?m=1
Consider that no effort is ever wasted. It's often been said that phenomenons like Mozart are partly reaping the fruits of their labors from other incarnations, along with their native talent. The singer Jackie Evancho also seems to be an example of this. She had little vocal training but was singing like a highly trained diva as a young child (she's 16 now). She held her own, singing with Sarah Brightman. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7-TF_4x-ME
Anyway, I think you should be proud of your hard work, not miserable about it. Remember Abe: "You can't get it wrong, and you never get it done." You have eternity to practice music in one form or another. Just remember to have fun doing it! :)
Oh my, a piano career! That's incredibly good. I can sense the musical energy from here and it feels like an incredibly powerful vortex. I also get some kind of clump- and noticing a few things from your question, I would say you have an allowing problem based on limiting beliefs. I'll make a list.
"I have to be like Mozart, or else I am unworthy". This makes no sense. Mozart lived in the 18th century- how far do you want to take it? Wear a wig? Drink champagne and fool around under a harpsichord? Mozart was Mozart and you and you- the comparison is probably completely irrelevant because you live in two very different worlds. Even worse is the way we are used to using people like Mozart. In our minds, they are worthy because they are exceptional- isn't that the very nature of a lack based belief, where only the few get to be worthy and the rest must suffer severe unworthiness? The age of the "star" is plain over- because we all are star people. Get it? ;)
And this literally true. There are people who have millions of fans- more than ever even heard of Mozart in his lifetime, for how would they have? Have a carrier pidgeon sing the flute registers to them? Travel was hard and building a decent sized concert hall took decades. Today, people can get heard by millions- and the rest has no idea who they are because they are not relevant to them. So it would probably be a good idea to let go of the Mozart comparison and go for stuff that is representative of you- and Mozart literally couldn't even dream of. Today, twenty-something music majors teach his tricks of the trade in tutorial videos on YouTube for a couple hundred bucks a month of Patreon spare change. The world has evolved. And if piano teachers missed the beat of the last three centuries and take out their confusion on you, there is no reason you have to agree with them.
"A real piano player" so you at your piano are somehow an imposter? Play me a fake concerto piano solo, please, I am dying to hear one. Oh, so it is not about the notes, but about the youthful squiggliness of fingers that is somehow absent in everyone who didn't start while still in the womb, no exceptions, not even one? I don't get it. These days classical musical careers are mostly about marketability anyway, so I am guessing the need for young people with a decent number of practice years is mostly about the rather mundane free-market demand of older men who would like to enjoy an evening of having something to stare at, but still feel sophisticated. So you could solve that problem rather neatly by using the Law of Attraction to become jaw-droppingly gorgeous, if you are not already, regardless of your age or commonly held notions about who it is appropriate to ogle.
"Good enough to teach" you're good enough to teach now. Market yourself. Degrees are just marketing tools, you can be persuasive in any way you like to. I've held programming jobs without an IT degree, and I usually did some variant of demonstrating I was good at the job in my application, combined with communicating my "weakness" as a strength; no degree = practical and hands-on. Plus, you get to play the "magical story" card- the story you just wrote there would make a terrific brochure. "They said I couldn't do it yet here I am!!!". You can get concerts- just say your lack of formal training in your younger years gives you the freedom to interpret the classics in your own way. Adult-learned fingers? It's good, because it's special. Every boy and his dog started playing at three in an ivory tower, my fingers are filled with a lifetime of real experience, and you can hear it in my music- for twenty bucks. If you're okay with the bleachers." The stuffy concert hall bookers don't agree? Find unstuffy ones. Go for it. Market yourself. And for heaven's sake take a break if it's not fun any more.
answered 28 Nov '16, 19:08
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