i am in love with a married man, i have liked him since 7 years, he was single then and seemed interested in me too, but because we live so far away we couldn't take it further. then i never knew about the law of attraction and always thought he never liked me. but now that i know about the law of attraction i wanted to know if its possible to attract him, even if he's married???

i cant imagine being with anyone else but him, please if you could tell me if its possible and if so how, i am willing to do anything. i know it say's that we should be a vibrational match with what we want, how can i be a vibrational match with him so that he can be in my life as soon as possible. all the help will be appreciated. thanks

asked 22 Dec '10, 21:17

lovergirl's gravatar image


edited 18 Oct '12, 12:32

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

are you also dating someone right now?

(23 Dec '10, 00:30) Back2Basics

no im not dating anyone,as i always just think of him and wana be with him. thnx all for your response i know its not right and i should move on, but believe me ive tried so hard but i cant. my heart wont listen to my brain.

(23 Dec '10, 07:09) lovergirl

this man is vibrating in your life simply because you are thinking of him and saying and feeling that you love him, whether he is married or not is irrelevant

(03 Apr '14, 05:59) jaz
showing 0 of 3 show 3 more comments

The Law of Attraction is not a tool to manipulate the free will of others. You can influence them, but you cannot control them. This becomes especially important when you begin to deal with the kinds of circumstances that you describe.

Trust me, you don't want this. If you pursue it, you are going to rain so much grief onto yourself and the other participants that it won't be worth the little bit of happiness you might get from it.

Here are some things you should think about:

  1. By getting married, this man made a choice, and it wasn't you.

  2. If this man leaves his wife for you, how do you know that he won't eventually do the same thing to you?

  3. What is it about you that makes you feel incomplete without him?

  4. How can you decide to just be happy in your own skin, without depending on someone else for that happiness?

I suggest that, if you focus on changing and growing as an individual, being happy for the sake of being happy, feeling good about yourself and not worrying so much about having someone else to complete you (especially someone so specific), you will eventually attract (and keep) the person you were truly meant to be with.

When this happens, you will be far more contented and happy than you would be by pursuing this man.


answered 22 Dec '10, 21:52

Vesuvius's gravatar image


edited 22 Dec '10, 22:03

I totally agree with Vesuvius!

(23 Dec '10, 01:21) LeeAnn 1

woot-wOOt! Way to go Vesuvius!

(23 Dec '10, 02:01) figure8shape

Well said Vesuvius :)

(23 Dec '10, 13:21) Michaela

I would also suggest that you focus on attracting a man that has the qualities you are looking for and trust that the Universe is already working to make that special person come to you. I could even be an image of someone like the man you speak of but not him.

(11 Sep '13, 22:20) petitesweetyme

Couldn't have put that any better myself.

(12 Sep '13, 14:02) Monty Riviera
showing 2 of 5 show 3 more comments

Find the most knowledgeable,powerful and benevalent force/person you can. ( God )

Ask that person to do the choosing for your life partner.

Then leave it.

It works...trust me on this.



answered 23 Dec '10, 09:59

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

edited 23 Dec '10, 15:10


This is true from experience.

(20 Jan '11, 18:50) Back2Basics

I know my answer is a tad couple of years late, but I shall chip in what I have discovered in my experience with the possibility of helping someone who could use an honest boost.

Firstly, I agree with what @Vesuvius has commented. No denying the wisdom there.

Secondly, have a read of an amazing answer of why we (think we) need the approval of others. Discover that you actually have all the love inside of you from your source that you'll ever need.

And, for my point. I have heard Bashar help out a questioning woman about wanting a man she describes as her soulmate (though he wasn't single). Bashar has explained that her man should only act as a symbol for what she wants to manifest....The higher mind can see 100 different, better matches for you....Your physical mind can only see what is in front of you right now.

I was heartbroken about a year ago by a girl I thought was an absolute one and only angel out there for me. If only I could see down the path of a few more months that I would meet plenty other girls a ton better wife material than that one.

And even these days, whenever I think "oh she's the one" I have learned to quit 'trying' completely. Let the universe unite your lover, let the law of attraction create the situations in which you two can experience and develop a romance.

Yes, we have put it out there that we want a romance, or life partner. Now let your mind go on a vacation and experience all the bliss elsewhere. If it's out of your physical control (most of the time it is), then you have no option aside from to seek joy elsewhere. Once your lover physically arrives, and you're both in a relationship, then by all means you can go and portray your happiness within one another <3


answered 18 Oct '12, 21:07

Nikulas's gravatar image



@Nikulas - Wise words!

(18 Oct '12, 21:32) lozenge123

@Nikulas, yes. I'm right there, right now. Those words could have come from me. Feels better, doesn't it? Not giving up, or giving in, it's about giving it over.

(18 Oct '12, 23:03) Grace

Hi, I've been there (more or less), so I understand the pain and the obsessiveness that can engulf you. I've also gone through the process of thinking that I couldn't live without ABC, only to find XYZ later whom I was just as crazy about, if not more. So, it is possible to move on.

Here's a tip on how to move on faster... check out EFT. There are some links on this site if you do a search. I tried it and my emotional pain disappeared in a week. I am not kidding. Once you are free of that emotional drag, you will be able to move on to the next phase, which is getting yourself happy. Stingray's posts have got a lot about that so do please check them out.

And soon enough, you will be on your next romantic adventure... :)

Best of luck!


answered 23 Dec '10, 15:54

Pat%20W's gravatar image

Pat W

We can say all we want to say, but only the candle feels the fire and that's the heart and the person who's experiencing such a thing. Call it Karma or God or whatever you wish. For the most part, the things I used to say "NEVER I would do", karma spills it on me, maybe to test my human heart, I don't know. But I used to say, I'd never deal with a married man, or even better, I used to wonder why these women are so weak with their boyfriends? I was strong and very independent with my mind and heart although I loved deeply but I would never allow a man to hurt me. Yea but then there is life it throws things at you. Now I pray day and night, in tears and never felt such an emotional pain as if my entire heart vibrates in my chest with pain...I want to be with this man so bad but he's married to someone else. I don't have hard time getting dates or flirting with men or be with a man, but I only want him and this is painful too because I so want to move on. Even though there is nothing between us we stopped talking but I feel him in my breath, in my chest. He's in my dreams, all the time in my mind. When I go to sleep he's in my mind, I wake up he's in my mind, I go out and have fun or eat something special and there you go he's in my mind...I mean come on, if someone can impact a human in such a way, there must be a Spirit connection or a reason to all this. I'm just gonna pray for God to lead me the right way because I need peace to my heart, and I deserve to be happy. But you have no idea how much I want to be with him. Please people, don't judge women like this because I was one of them, and it hits you hard because it's BEYOND your control!!! I didn't attract this to myself. It came to expand my heart, to learn how far your heart can go with love...pain expand the heart I think. I pray this makes me a better person, at least I experienced something really unusual, a powerful love, I've never felt it with people i've been in love with before. So let's hope there's enlightenment out of this. I'd do anything to go back to my normal state and I would do anything to be with this man. I hope there is a way.



answered 12 Jun '11, 04:18

LunaLure's gravatar image


Welcome to Inward Quest!

(12 Jun '11, 04:40) you

Why do people seem to think that because someone is married they are owned by another person or that they can't be attracted to another, love another? The whole idea of marriage is rather antiquated. Maybe this girl was with the man in a previous life and that is why she feels so drawn to him. Who is to say they wont be together in the future or when after he learns whatever lessons with his current wife? A person can have more than one soul mate. Who to say this girl isnt a more suitable match than the mans current wife? I say he should put her intention out into the universe and to the person a swell then detach and let the universe deal with it. Live a happy life,date others, enjoy your freedom,don't feel desperate and he may come around if not in this life time perhaps another if it is meant to be.


answered 07 Sep '13, 00:38

kay's gravatar image


a person to person soul connection can be the person or persons with whom you are vibrating "now" and can last anywhere between just the time of a fleeting glance with a stranger, or a lifetime with a long term partner, friend and beyond ... they are mutually inclusive and all carry a message

(03 Apr '14, 05:54) jaz

The last thing you want is Obsession. If you lose it you will have to get professional help. Forbidden fruit never taste like you imagine.


answered 22 Dec '10, 22:44

Tom's gravatar image


so true..........save yourself!

(23 Dec '10, 00:17) Back2Basics

Welcome here lovergirl. If it feels right, stick around this place. It starts with LOA and then it snowballs from there. Very fun!

Be well and you will be fine on your journey. There are no wrong choices. Some just teach greater lessons than others.



answered 22 Dec '10, 22:50

jim%2010's gravatar image

jim 10

Let me start by saying WOW! I will try to make this answer as easy on your feelings because no matter what you have gotten yourself into, it is probably still painful.

Through friends, I have found out about girls in the past who liked me and I had no idea! The question to myself was, why didn't they say anything to me!!??

It is crazy to think how our life paths could have been altered by such things.

Anyways, looking back think about all the times you had before he was married to make something of it. I understand there was distance, but if there is a strong will, there is a way.

No, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. My point is, the will wasn't as strong as you think it was, there was "something" there that kept you two apart...either within you, him, a "divine intervention" or a combination of all three.... and perhaps it was for the better.

The Law of Attraction back then would not have guaranteed him in your life either. Right now, the Law of Attraction is already in work and it appears you two are not meant to be!

This is a good thing! Think of how much you have no clue of it has saved you from!

Do not dwell on it, do not beat yourself up. Everything really is OK.

Now, if I was him, I would love to find out about something like this, perhaps he is in need of an ego boost and you in need of detaching from him completely.

So what you could do is write him a letter/e-mail. Something like, "I thought you may like to know that I had and still have feelings for you. However, since I care for you, I am so happy to see that you have found someone and are happy. I also think it is amazing how we were kept apart regardless of how we felt and that I am in awe with how things unfold in life...when I am ready and dating again and feel good about myself, and am more consciously awake I am excited to be friends!....etc etc.

Also realize how your feelings have changed over time for him. Perhaps you did not like him as much in the past as you think you did, just becasue you do now...

Anyway, focus on yourself, get yourself healthy, happy, and move on but it would not be fair to him to wreck what he has, and if you care for him you won't try to make him yours now.

In conclusion, you have so much to look forward to! More than you know. (I should write for a dating column in the paper! haha)


answered 23 Dec '10, 00:16

Back2Basics's gravatar image


edited 23 Dec '10, 00:22

There is a saying that anything is possible in life, but in the same token, there is a saying that you should be careful of what you wish for? With that being said, you can use the LOA for good, or evil! What do you want to use the LOA to create for you? You will have to decide for yourself, and to be prepared for the consequences of your action!

My friend, sometimes it is better to leave well enough alone! There are still many fishes in the sea swimming around, not yet caught, so cast your net out into the sea, and see what the LOA will manifest for you! Good Luck.


answered 23 Dec '10, 03:31

Inactive%20User's gravatar image

Inactive User ♦♦



answered 23 Dec '10, 09:32

DR.AYEBAZIBWE%20M.GEOFFREY's gravatar image


I understand your pain. Just accept the fact that you do think about him constantly. You will realize that you think about him because you see that he can give you some kind security that you desire. Now, it time to work on you, what can you do to understand what you want? No one who deserves you, not even him is going to vibrate into your life until you are willing to satisfy your needs. If you desire to have someone hold you, take you on dates, have walks in parks, trust, you must do these things, appreciate them, for yourself first. It is the golden rule: you must take of yourself, not just finacially first. hj


answered 23 Dec '10, 21:59

Hj%201's gravatar image

Hj 1

I totally understand where she is coming from, I'm married and so is my first love from when we were 12 years old then found each other again at like 20 yrs old and now again on facebook we both married for the wrong reasons because we were lonely and wish we could be together because we now have a stronger love for each other than we ever did before, so I will never give up hope that we will be together because it feels so right. But until then I will continue to work on me.


answered 20 Jan '11, 02:01

marg's gravatar image


Attraction , how did Prince Charles manifest Camilla into his life when both he and she were married to someone else? Is it possible? People are going to get hurt but in a few years time wounds heal and life goes on.


answered 12 Sep '13, 17:09

Laucan's gravatar image


You need to see the story of A.B. this is a story from Florence Scovel Shinn.

For example: A woman came to me and asked me to "speak the word" that she would marry a certain man with whom she was very much in love. (She called him A. B.)

I replied that this would be a violation of spiritual law, but that I would speak the word for the right man, the "divine selection," the man who belonged to her by divine right.

I added, "If A. B. is the right man you can't lose him, and if he isn't, you will receive his equivalent." She saw A. B. frequently but no headway was made in their friendship. One evening she called, and said, "Do you know, for the last week, A. B. hasn't seemed so wonderful to me." I replied, "Maybe he is not the divine selection--another man may be the right one." Soon after that, she met another man who fell in love with her at once, and who said she was his ideal. In fact, he said all the things that she had always wished A. B. would say to her.

She remarked, "It was quite uncanny."

She soon returned his love, and lost all interest in A. B.

This shows the law of substitution. A right idea was substituted for a wrong one, therefore there was no loss or sacrifice involved.

Florence Scovel Shinn The Game Of Life And How To Play It.


answered 01 Apr '14, 22:19

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

I would just like to add another perspective... if you get into the vortex you can have this man - as there is nothing that you cannot do, be or have. But, once you're in the vortex you won't have any yearning for him or any thoughts of needing him to fulfill you or make your life 'better' so he will just be a choice, you could take him or leave him, whatever the outcome of the scenario with him you would still feel good about it.

If you choose him, a life with him, all you have to do is line up with the reality - that exists - where he is single, available and in love with you. Every single thought creates a reality around that thought, it's a living thing, that situation exists for you if you want to line up with it.

Just ensure all your dominant thoughts are on him being single, he is about to call you, to turn up to see you, to want you. Line up with the reality in the now moment and it has to manifest, that's universal law.

If you have a lot of momentum built up around his wife and his situation as it stands it will be more difficult, of course.

I hope you found your resolution, whatever the outcome, as time has passed. :) :)


answered 02 Apr '14, 18:57

Yes's gravatar image


I am a former marriage counselor and SoulMate Coach. What you are describing is a desire for someone who is totally unavailable. This is a sign that you have insecurities you do not want to face, such as a fear of intimacy or commitment.

When someone is unavailable, you can enjoy the experience of longing and the fantasy of a perfect relationship, but when you are involved with someone who is available to you, you have to learn to deal with your own fears and issues and the reality of the other person. As long as you yearn for someone who is unavailable for a real relationship, you cannot grow and learn to love yourself or them as a flawed human being.


answered 19 Jul '14, 17:44

EliteSoulMateCoaching's gravatar image


I completely feel her pain. My issue is that, though Im not married, i am committed to a man. We have a 16 yr old daughter and were apart for 15 yrs. He found me over a yr ago and we have been together ever since. The problem comes in when I became friends with someone I was working with. We were in the same dept for months and neither one of us were attracted to the other. It wasnt until we were placed right in front of one another that we began to talk and get to know one another. Falling in love and loving one another happened so quickly.. He is married by the way. We both agree that neither one of us are unhappy with our partners, but we feel, and he told me this, that he and I would make a better pair than who we both are currently with. We havent crossed the line as far as sex goes, though we wanted to, we both agreed we couldnt live with that. But emotionally, it is all kinds of wrong. He recently moved to a different state. We are both taking it hard. He has never asked me to leave my situation and I havent and wont ask him to leave his. We both sincerely want to be together, but we will not leave our situations to be together. We spoke about it recently and agreed that we would always be apart of each others lives and that if/when the opportunity comes, we will be together. We hold high hopes. Everything about he and I being together feels incredibly right and wonderful. I know there was a reason for God bringing him into my life. Was/is it to be my husband later?? I have no idea...I honestly dont see God giving me someone else's husband. But if he leaves his marriage because its whats best for him, and not to be with me...then maybe it is possible. It is painful and I pray everyday that if he is not meant for me, that my feelings and desire and wanting to be with him will cease. I ask God to remove it if it isnt supposed to be there.


answered 30 Mar '11, 21:07

8th1daoftheworld's gravatar image


yes he is taken find someone else! would you like it if another women wanted to take your men? you reap what you sow! so find one that is single! because even if you steal him away you will lose him!


answered 05 May '11, 01:07

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

Simple,you have 3 choices 1- Forget about him. 2- become his concubine. 3- Polygamy

So at the end is your willingness to conform with his reality and to force him to conform with your reality. Whatever you decide is not wrong or right unless you decide it is. My advice, you never steal someone's property, but you can occasionally use it with the due permission.


answered 01 Apr '14, 19:14

DragonflyPR's gravatar image


Try to remember that you are here on a temporary basis. There is always the possibility that He is a soul mate. Soul mates do not always share lives together as mates. They usually do play some role in our lives though. Remember the reason we come to incarnate here is growth, and that is often accompanied by challenges we don't understand. If you were soul mates and over lifetimes you had grown overly dependent on him, you both may have chosen this sort of thing because you need to be able function apart from him. You will not know all the roles that are being played out for the benefit of one soul or other . This example is not necessarily what is going on here. You just don't know. For all you know the other woman may have been your sister or grandmother in another life.

Maybe you had a severe problem with jealousy in previous lives. You may have chosen to challenge it in this life and your soul mate and his spouse are doing this because it is what you wanted to do, and because they want to help you do it. That is just one more possible reason. One of the reasons this is all done here on earth is because our costumes of flesh hide who we are so role playing will be possible .

You are the one who has to figure it out and make the right decisions so get past whatever it is. In the end, if he is your soul mate. you can look forward to a happy reunion when you both return home. I realize this isn't an answer you're going to like much. Understand that it is just another life in the day of a soul.


answered 02 Apr '14, 09:02

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Asked: 22 Dec '10, 21:17

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Last updated: 19 Jul '14, 17:44

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