Dear All,

This is something I wished to ask since the day I joined this IQ but had to wait because I didn't wanted to write in a bad mood.And now cannot resist asking you all.

The person who was very special to me (now is going to get married to someone else) met me for the last time and stated to me that he hasn't seen such a bad person like me and that no one can be with me for long.He knows me very well for 1year.I have never hidden anything about me to him.

I asked him how can you say that to me he said one line after which I went quiet and blank and Iam still now.I have no idea what has happened to me, except for doing my normal office work,reading IQ,household work Iam not able to talk to anyone much,laugh or listen to any conversation,watch tv,shopping.. anything.Iam simply not interested.

I just pray.

His line was "good things happen to good people and bad to bad people"."You decide your self from this line..that's the justification I have and ask no more"

I just analyzed this statement in depth, everything from my childhood days and I got my answer.

Yes he is right I was living in false notion..Iam not good in fact Iam a bad person totally, that's y I lost my mother ,that's why Iam on the verge of losing my job,people hate me and what not.

And yes good things happen to good people,that's why he is in best job,with best looks,marrying the girl he wanted to [the fair one iam dusky he cannot],good behavior. He is happy today and I wish him the best for his life.

I hold nothing against him and in fact thankful to him to have made me come out of my false notion about myself.

Iam in pain today crying and feeling bad about knowing the truth about myself.And thats y I pick this nic name.

I get this question always : Is god still on my side or he has left me because Iam bad?Is that why despite my all prayers to save her couldn't be given?Is that why Iam left alone without his support?

What can I do for God to forgive me?that's all I need even if the almighty doesn't want to be with bad people like me.

Request your opinions frankly even if it hurts me...


asked 18 Jul '12, 12:15

insilentpain's gravatar image


edited 18 Jul '12, 13:17

Kathleen%20Kelly's gravatar image

Kathleen Kelly ♦♦

"The person who knows my commandments and keeps them, that's who loves me. And the person who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and make myself plain to him." 22 Judas (not Iscariot) said, "Master, why is it that you are about to make yourself plain to us but not to the world?" 23 "Because a loveless world," said Jesus, "is a sightless world. If anyone loves me, he will carefully keep my word and my Father will love him.

(18 Jul '12, 13:25) white tiger

@inhappypleasure- Tsk, tsk tsk....There will most likely come a time, when you'll look back upon all this pain... and laugh about it. You really will.

(18 Jul '12, 23:59) Nikulas

@Nikulas-love your comment.

(20 Jul '12, 03:34) Zee

@insilentpain - Something to remember...when someone says something harsh or critical to you, it is always because they are feeling pain themselves, even if they are not showing it to you.

Anyone who is genuinely feeling good within themselves would never consciously want to hurt another in any way. So what does that tell you about what that person must really be feeling within himself, but trying to hide from you? Just something to think about :)

(21 Jul '12, 07:28) Stingray

@Stingray-Not sure so just want to know :if I take this person [despite knowing he is with other girl] to clinic for his pain & then I see him asking me to wait inside for 18mins while he is on call with her;if he calls me to meet him last time only to listen that he will have to call someone for his baggage dat has 2 carried & I end up walking around 1km by walk with heavy laggage.person doesn't bother 2call me back at 9pm dat night if i reached bck.he is damn happy but still hurting me ..not??

(21 Jul '12, 08:24) insilentpain

@insilentpain - The question you have to ask yourself is, are you ready to move on from these events yet? And it's fine if you don't feel ready. Sometimes people feel they must make themselves suffer and suffer and suffer before they are willing to finally let go of past hurts. They may think they want to feel better but a part of them is not ready to let go yet. That's okay - it's part of a natural grieving (releasing) process. But I can't help you if that's what you want right now.

(21 Jul '12, 08:42) Stingray

@insilentpain - When you do finally feel ready to move on, I suggest you take a look at Why are people mean to each other? for some insights - and consider where he must have been on the vibrational scale for him to do what he did. But you'll have to feel better first before reading that, otherwise you will just feel like you want to punch me for pointing it out to you :)

(21 Jul '12, 08:43) Stingray
showing 1 of 7 show 6 more comments

If it makes you feel any better (though it probably won't because feeling better is ultimately up to you), I'm probably about as "bad" as they come :)

Over the course of my life, I've probably managed to violate (often quite deliberately to prove a point) every possible religious principle of every religion that exists :) And if I missed any, please let me know and I'll be happy to violate some more if I feel like it :)

I haven't actually murdered anyone, though I've got pretty close on occasion in my earlier days when I had a strong tendency to violence as a solution to personal issues. That was a long time ago now though and I've mainly given that up because violence never ultimately achieved anything.

So if "God" was going to give anyone a good slap in the face, I can assure you I'd be high up there on the list fighting for the top spots :)

Am I suffering? No

Do I live an unhappy life? No

Do I suffer from any particular affliction of any kind? No

Have I ever suffered any kind of punishment of any kind that I couldn't trace to something I was doing to myself? No

I just enjoy the adventure of my life and it just gets better and better every day :)

So when someone comes up with a line like good things happen to good people and bad to bad people, it just makes me smile because I know it's total nonsense.

If you think about it, people's definitions of what is "bad" and what is "good" just happen to match what makes them feel good and what makes them feel bad. Isn't that an extremely strange coincidence? :)

Interesting, don't you think?

It's almost as if the ideas of "bad" and "good" are used as a method of manipulating others to conform to certain behaviors for the purposes of controlling them... (hint, hint) :)

So, the answer to your question of "Is God/almighty still on my side or has he left me because I am bad?" is that "God" is always there for you...because what "God" is, is also what You are.


answered 19 Jul '12, 08:03

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 19 Jul '12, 08:07

Reading this answer I felt as though an angel had come and wiped my tears.

God bless you for your wonderful answer..couldn't have asked more.

(19 Jul '12, 09:23) insilentpain

@insilentpain - I'm certainly no angel :) ...but you are very welcome

(19 Jul '12, 09:35) Stingray

@Stingray - Great answer. I just love this, gave me belly laughs at 6:00 a.m., always much appriciated. Set point for the day. ROFL, saying - Ooooh you wicked little sh*t! Thanks for a great start to my day!

Keeping this link to be shared with all such sufferers. Wonderful.

(19 Jul '12, 11:47) Grace

@Grace - My pleasure to bring some unnecessary wickedness into your life :) Just to add to the theme of the answer, the best retort I've ever heard to my lack of "punishment" came from my own extremely religious parents. Their view is that "God" is building me up with lots of good things in my life so that my "punishment" will be even worse when it finally comes. Simply superb, that one :) The creativity of people in conjuring self-imprisoning belief systems never ceases to amaze :)

(19 Jul '12, 12:30) Stingray

@Stingray - Ingenious, that. Beautifully constructed prison bars for you to blast to bits. I think this illustrates perfectly the idea (Abraham again?) that you choose parents that give you cause you to launch so many passionate desires early, so that you set yourself up to experience a multitude of wonders the rest of your life. Congratulations on that. :) You are obviously doing extremely well. :)

(19 Jul '12, 12:56) Grace

@Grace - Yes, I've also heard Abraham (and others) talk about how those who come forth with a strong desire to "uplift" others often create "painful" circumstances early on in their lives to help them wake up more quickly. After all, you cannot really "teach" to others what you haven't lived and experienced for yourself. Depth calls to depth.

(19 Jul '12, 14:51) Stingray

@Stingray- If God was gonna give you a slap in the face; do you know how funny an image I can get of that in my head!

(20 Jul '12, 03:52) Nikulas

@Stingray, I don't believe I've ever seen a wise, gentle and beautiful soul who hadn't been through sheer bloody hell of one form or another... Except perhaps Abraham. How do they come to have all that they share? Or is that also like asking why water is wet?

(20 Jul '12, 11:13) Grace
showing 2 of 8 show 6 more comments

My dear,

Your pain has been evident through any number of your posts. You are obviously very uncomfortable in your own skin, and also want and need constant approval from those around you...when they disapprove, your self-worth collapses, and you shrivel and want to die for the self-hatred you feel.

This is a shame.

Why does love matter so much to you?

The love of other people, I mean.

God loves you. GOD DOESN'T MAKE JUNK!!!!! You are a worthy person who has taken responsibility for all sorts of happenings that were actually NOT YOUR FAULT. Nobody is THAT bad.

I suggest that you go inot a small room, and lock the door. I suggest that you get down on your knees and start talking- I mean really talking- to your God. In the end, I want you to praise Him for giving you life, and I want you to thank Him for already seeing that your future is going to be better. Why? Because you are seeking and you are asking questions, and you will learn- that's why.

Please stop hating yourself so bad. It is really a waste of time. Instead, start changing what yu do not like about yourself, and let go of the past. There is nothing you can do about the past at all. It is gone.

So let it go.

I pray for you with all my heart-Hang tough, sweetie-

Jaianniah ♥♥♥♥♥


answered 18 Jul '12, 12:33

Jaianniah's gravatar image


I've often wondered similar things (does one receive good or bad fortune in this life according to their moral choices or worth), and have searched for answers in the ancient texts and spiritual traditions.

The consensus confirms exactly what Stingray said in the sense that the Law of Attraction is completely impersonal. I think what happens, at least it is what happened to me, is that people confuse God himself, the Creator or Originating Spirit, with the LOA. Of course the LOA was created by God along with the rest of the Universe and its laws, but interpreting every instance of bad fortune as a judgment on your moral worth handed down from God is kind of like tripping over a tree root and then thinking God made you trip because you were bad. God certainly created the law of gravity, but your tripping because of that law doesnt mean it happened due to moral reasons.

The ancient Greeks, Hermeticists, Jews, Christians, as well as the medieval and renaissance philosophers believed in a concept termed the Anima Mundi, or Universal Soul. The Yogis refer to it as Vijnanamaya Kosha. The alchemists referred to it as mercury, or water, in their systems. The Buddhists have an exactly corresponding concept. The Universal Soul was created by God, soon after Creation, as a subservient Operating Principal, Substance, or Organ. It is not the same thing as God himself. It is on this level that LOA operates, and it is completely impersonal. This is why some famous successful people can still be mean and nasty...God did not reward them for their meanness...all they needed was confidence and faith and belief to succeed. (their personal lives, however, if you notice, will turn out to be not as successful if they are mean people). Simple LOA at work, at least to my mind.

The afterlife may be another matter...there may be judgment at that point, who knows? Maybe there is Heaven, or reincarnation, or Valhalla. I have no experience or authority on that subject.

But I think confusing God with every LOA manifestation in the physical reality could really drive one crazy, especially one with religious convictions. I know that it almost did to me at one point.

I also firmly believe, and I think history has shown, that God can personally intervene in the affairs of the world if He so chooses, and in extraordinary ways. I was raised an agnostic, but something happened to me in my mid twenties which revealed to me beyond a doubt that God is definitely real, and he can definitely intervene instantly and dramatically when he so chooses.

Regarding forgiveness, Wade said it perfectly. Just ask God, and it will be forgiven. "Ask and it is given." Then try to be a good as person as you can in the future, so you will feel worthy of that forgiveness.


answered 04 Aug '12, 01:49

lozenge123's gravatar image


edited 04 Aug '12, 20:17

@lozenge123, I like your answer. I agree with a lot of what you said, and I hope that you cleared up contradictions and confusion that make many people very unhappy. I spent many years studying the Bilble and learning about the Christian church (not neccessarily related to one another). One of the many precious little pearls I picked up was that "sin" is simply anything that will harm you. When I follow that thought through, things make more sense. No judgement; love. Big difference. :)

(04 Aug '12, 09:34) Grace

@Grace, glad you enjoyed it. I really find this sort of stuff fascinating, and enjoy thinking and talking about it.

(04 Aug '12, 14:44) lozenge123

@lozenge123, you seem very well read on a variety of subjects. It gives you such a broad perspective to start from, and seems also to give you quite a treasure chest from which to draw your own conclusions and answers. It makes your posts interesting and enlightening, in my opinion. :)

(04 Aug '12, 15:07) Grace

@Grace, thanks, that's very nice of you to say. I'm glad that someone's getting something out of these posts. I often think that book knowledge is nothing compared to practical knowledge, yet I do find it interesting that so many ancient spiritual traditions have this sort of overlap where they say the exact same thing. Helps me to have a little more faith in it, I think. And learn a few things in the process. I'll definitely share more info in the future now that I know someone's listening. :)

(04 Aug '12, 20:05) lozenge123

@lozenge123 - :) Nah, its not just me! And I believe the book knowledge is just the start for facinating and profound conclusions you will come to all on your own. Your studies give you the context and framework, but those connections and conclusions you come to and share with everyone are uniquely your own... Sorry, don't mean to preach, I just would not like to see you devalue your own power. :) And I do get a bit preachy when I haven't had my tea. I'll go get it and lighten up a bit. :)

(04 Aug '12, 20:19) Grace

@Grace, thank you again for the kind comments...and in the future, I will try not to devalue my own power...maybe some preaching is just what I needed. :) In any case I will definitely continue my studies and share whenever I think it can help, or think that people will find it interesting. Thanks again for the boost in's always appreciated!

(04 Aug '12, 21:42) lozenge123
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

You are not so bad that you are unforgivable. Even a murder can repent and ask Jesus to be his personal savior. He will be forgiven as Jesus died for all our sin all, you are forgiven just ask Jesus and you are forgiven. He says go and sin no more, we all fall but when we come back to God then God rejoices! Read the story of the Prodigal Son in the Bible.


answered 19 Jul '12, 00:20

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

One very easy way to feel better is to do EFT or better yet FasterEFT. It is a perfect remedy for all of us who get caught up in self judgment and criticism. Look for "Robert Smith EFT" on YouTube. I am wishing you the best.


answered 19 Jul '12, 08:18

purple_iris's gravatar image


Thanks a lot dear!

(19 Jul '12, 09:24) insilentpain

why judge? you will be judge with the same mesure. and judging your self is the same. it is alot better to stay in truth with a good heart. God is truth. and you need to worship in spirit and truth.

(20 Jul '12, 20:07) white tiger

@White tiger-Agreed your point but my consciousness always questioned me 'Iam I bad or good" and hence the question.Or may be sometimes with proof it becomes evident.It kills me to see that bad things happening to me prove his point that Iam bad.While his good things prove that he is good.What can be the deepest pain to hear the person who knows u very well give this feedback.wat say?

(21 Jul '12, 06:42) insilentpain

then sit down and meditate. all those question you will see in truth. the light in you will reveal it all to you if you make that choice. once all is reveal you will have a calm lake in you born of water.

(21 Jul '12, 12:30) white tiger
showing 1 of 4 show 3 more comments

God is with us always. We are all a part of All that is. Separation is an illusion, therefore being cut off from God is an illusion.

We create our reality with our beliefs, our emotions and thoughts. Therefore if our reality is 'bad' then it comes from 'bad' thinking, beliefs. That doesn't make you a bad person, it just means your thoughts are taking you where you don't want to go.

Ultimately, you control your beliefs, thoughts and emotions. If you want to change your reality, change your beliefs, thoughts and emotions. If you seek forgiveness, forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself.

How do you love yourself? Well, how would you know if you were loved by God, or by another person? Answer that and then do that for yourself, as long as it is not destructive.


answered 04 Aug '12, 10:46

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

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Asked: 18 Jul '12, 12:15

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Last updated: 04 Aug '12, 21:42

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