I know that judging - judging anything, as good/bad right/wrong can be a major cause of unhappiness, but how do you simply stop? What is the difference between judging and having an opinion?
I want to be peaceful and happy, and I think that judging things, people and circumstances is getting in my way.
How can I stop or replace thoughts of judgment? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think that in trying to be brief, (for once :p) I made my question a bit too vague.
I am thinking about when I see what I judge to be of poor character, unkind, cruel, self-serving, deceitful, or just plain old mean, I get frustrated with myself for thinking so. I mean, who am I to judge? I am very far from perfect, obviously, and I feel like it is unneccesary and self-defeating at the very least.
Also, things like the hot summer days are currently making me unhappy, (I'm much more of a good book by a cozy fire with a cat in my lap kind of girl) but that is a judgment, too, isn't it? See what I mean? It feels like me passing judgment on everything gets in the way of being happy.
I think I am looking for a perspective or a mind set that will help me to think as I really feel - which is that people and circumstances are what you make of them, and all have value. I feel that just about everything is either beautiful, or presents an unique opportunity, or both. :)
I don't like judging like this. It is not constant by any means, but it feels like I can do better, that it is not really me somehow; that I picked it up from watching others, and now it seems to be a mental habit that I need to break, and don't know how. I also work with a few very judgmental people, so it brings to mind often exactly what I don't want to be, and why. It makes them so unhappy, and limits their perception of people and situations so much.
I hope this clarifies my question a bit, and thank you for reading it and thinking about this with me.
This is a sign are already making good progress:) Because now with your new improved higher vibration you have become more aware you are judging and its less comfortable for you.
The first thing is to stop judging yourself for judging others. This only puts more of your attention on this, ie, what you don't want. Don't worry about it Grace. I think we all do it to some extent. Its the Mind's job to judge, label and rationalise things. Soon, as you spend more time in the vortex this wont be an issue for you :)
If I catch myself in the moment judging eg a person, I instantly turn it around and wish peace, love, health, wealth and happiness upon that person:)
Here is a great clip of Bashar on the meaning of judgement
@Grace...simply, don't try to stop. Instead watch yourself in the moment when it arises, without adding any extra story to it, and your awareness will begin to expand. Each time you do this the judgement will let go of you without you having to let go of it, until eventually it will cease to arise.
As your awareness expands your natural compassion will grow and eventually you will reach a point where judgement does not exist because you'll understand fully that every person you meet really is doing their best from their own present state of awareness.Then you'll only ever feel genuine compassion and a desire to offer something positive if the situation and person is open to receiving it.
And I would also reiterate Satori's words of advice by applying this when you catch yourself judging yourself...go easy on yourself and extend that same compassion to yourself as you would to others :)
answered 25 Aug '12, 21:41
Was going to answer earlier but it kept coming out terrible:)
Think of it this way, when you are judging you are merely choosing to see something a certain way. Remember, there's many different ways to see a particular person/object/situation. So choose to see something different, something positive.
Judgement's only bad if you are focusing on the bad. It's not the fact that we judge that causes unhappiness, it's when we search for faults and magnify them that causes unhappiness.
I will meditate or tap (EFT) if I find myself being overly negative, they seem the most effective for me.
You've established that you want more positivity.... throw in some positive thoughts, water and let 'em grow :o) I learned a fun exercise from Jack Canfield at one point- 'counter' your negative thoughts. His example "If you say 'I'm fat' counter it and say 'I'm skinny'"
Have a wonderful day <3 :)
Ok lets get this started on the right foot
YOU are perfect
And now you want to change how you walk
answered 26 Aug '12, 00:54
EFT has been extremely helpful in several areas of my life, including judgment. Try not to be so hard on yourself. The more accepting we are of ourselves, the less we tend to judge others.
answered 28 Aug '12, 22:45
You cannot stop judging. Ever.
The only difference is whether your judgement will be positive, negative or neutral. But you will always take a stance. Even as an observer you judge things as 'none of your business'. Basically it's impossible to escape the judgement.
It all comes down to what you want your life be like. Then judge in accordance to that.
If you love someone, you judge them positively. If you hate someone, you judge them negatively. If you don't care at all, you judge them neutrally.
The first step is to be aware that you are doing it. Then find the belief that you must have to think that way. Then mold that belief into one that eliminates the judgement. Then send love to the people or situation, actively helping when appropriate. I am not sure what situations you find difficult in this area. Two Hands Touching helps me with any uncomfortable feelings. People judge different things for different reasons. If you have a specific instance you want help with, do share it. Otherwise, I will give example/s.
For example if you see a mother yelling at her kids at the store and judge her for being harsh on the kids, stop and realize that the kids are being difficult and her job is not easy. Then send her and her child/ren love and appreciation and blessings. You can even offer to pray with her or ask if there is anything you can do to help her if you feel inspired to do so.
Edit per your comment, "I think I am working more on a general irriatation and frustration level." For general irritation and frustration, use Two Hands Touching to feel better Now. Also, you can use it with affirmations to change your beliefs that are causing the disharmony in your mind, body and reality.
My message: Move into your heart and know the truth. Know that whatever you are judging is an expression of God's love. Simply see God's love and there will be no judgement that needs to be made. Peace
answered 25 Aug '12, 19:23
Figure8shape has got it spot on. It does not seem to be obvious to most people but when we are judging others, it is because we are judgmental of ourselves. Things that we do not like in others are things we do not like or would not like in ourselves.
So, when we stop judging ourselves and start to give ourselves the freedom and permission to do and be anything we like, then we will also be less judgmental of others.
Also, judgement does not serve anybody including oneself as it is very subjective. What you might dislike in somebody or yourself might be what somebody else actually likes.
It is also key to note that when we are judging someone, WE are the ones experiencing negative emotions which with time will manifest in a negative manifestation in the physical reality such as a disease for example.
The key is to just relax and stop judging ourselves as there is no right thing or wrong thing. Anything we decide to be or do is fine.
answered 31 Aug '12, 15:15
This seems confused as to judge something as good or bad is wrong somehow. When we read in Genesis how God created the universe he said everything was good. That was a judgment of course by the creator his self.
This judgment keeps us safe, when we feel an uneasy feeling about going someplace or entering someplace that is a discernment placed on you through the Holy Spirit. This discernment you could say is a judgment of the Holy Spirit, now if listened to it will keep you safe. If ignored you may find a situation you do not like or something that even harms you!
You are driving in the night, roads are flooded everywhere and you approach a bridge with water flowing over it. Now you could say I am not going to judge this I am going to just drive over it anyway. Or you could make a judgment call and say, "Whoa there this here bridge doesn't look too healthy!" As you back away you find the bridge breaking in half being washed away.
The problem with judgment is not in the judgments but in the decisions about those judgments, for example you could see some people ruining their lives and and souls. You could make that judgment call but here is where it can turn sour you decide to sentence not only judge. That is God's part not your part, if you judge then sentence and say "You are all going to hell accept Jesus and turn from your sins now!" You may actually succeed in doing the devils work and turning them even farther away from God. You never condemn anyone, that is God's part and we never step in that part. We pray for those people and lead them by example and show them how great our God is. There is an old saying that says you can catch more flies using honey than you ever could with vinegar. In other words telling people they are bad and should turn from their evil ways is not going to make them feel like turning to God. But telling them what a wonderful loving God we have and how God blesses you when you accept Jesus and allow God to live in your heart that is planting a good or God seed. It gives a choice rather than pushes a person in a corner with no choice but what you are trying to make that person be.
God gives us free will and we should be as kind to others to give that free will but showing the alternate choice to where they are is pretty nice.
We can judge but when we judge use that judgment for love and compassionate guidance. Never use that judgment for jealousy, envy, hate, condemnation or self righteousness. Jesus spoke of two men, one was a religious scholar, the other was not so well educated. The scholar prayed to God and said, "Lord God thank you for not making me like that street bum and thank you for not making me like that thief, the list went on and on and then he asked for something in his prayer. The second man approached God and said God, please forgive me a sinner, bless those less fortunate than me and if you could I would like you to do this for me. Jesus said the second man was heard and his prays granted. The first man was proud and arrogant and judged everyone else as unworthy. He made himself unworthy by feeling superior so he already had his rewards, the feeling of superiority so his prayers were unanswered.
It is what is done with the judgment that matters even anger when channeled properly can be beneficial. Example, "Look at all the starving homeless people! Why doesn't someone do something for them? Very well if no one will then let it start with me!" That is a judgment of course but it leads to God's work on earth. You could have said this statement. "Look at all the starving homeless people! Why doesn't our government do something about them! They need to get these people off our streets! Yuck filthy homeless people!" That is as well a judgment but as you can see it has also a condemnation after the judgment. There is no compassion in that it is a selfish judgment of wanting these people out of the way, out of site out of mind. If these people feel this way they may even condone evil acts as the government killing them off with the self righteous justification of, "Well at least they are cleaning up our streets." I think this kind of condemnation is what leads to terrible atrocities, because all the people can think of is, "Does it make my life better? I don't like those people so it must." "It is for the greater good." This is all evil, recognize that, never fall into that trap. Always Love and judge for love and guidance and prayer.
Agree with some of the comments to be aware and mindful of such thoughts. It is difficult to stop unless you are completely detached?
Maybe you are concern if you will act on your judgement?
answered 27 Aug '12, 06:07
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