This question is marked "community wiki".

I no longer suffer or feel pain of this world, and so it's time to go.

I'm just wondering how would you suggest I go about it? I would like it to be some happy way preferably and extraordinary if possible. Not just lying in my bed or sitting in my chair. Something fun. A way that makes everybody smile not cry, to feel joy not grief.

I die today, so I can live tomorrow. Farewell. :)

From 0:00 to 9:10 is the song I'd like you to hear - enjoy.

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~ Mark Twain

Bless You guys :). Reading your replies, I feel I should apologize in case I have caused you a little vibrational trauma with my post. It were not my intentions to make you feel bad or worry. It has been a lesson to me, through which I have understood, how realities of others may lead to misunderstanding and regardless of how I try to interpret my feelings they will hardly get picked up in the same way. This has only confirmed to me, that everyone has to experience life for themselves and you cannot really live from an experience of someone else.

There are actually several things my post was meant to convey.

  1. It was to show you that death, just as life, should not be taken too seriously, but rather playfully and with a smile.
  2. Despite saying "I no longer suffer or feel pain of this world, and so it's time to go" which in other words mean, I'm very happy, if not overjoyed you jumped to a conclusion there are troubles that bother me. I can assure you, there are none :)
  3. I felt a great compassion reading your replies, as I saw your attachment to life. Which I can understand. Many of you have said, that I still have some lessons to give to someone, may you see the lesson in this thread for yourself. I'm sure you remember what you have felt and emotions you had upon reading my post. All the thoughts that your mind have constructed in the process. I wish that through this experience you understand your own attachments and let go of them. They will only hinder you from living your life fully. Buddha said

The origin of suffering is attachment.

The origin of suffering is attachment to transient things and the ignorance thereof. Transient things do not only include the physical objects that surround us, but also ideas and, in a greater sense, all objects of our perception. Ignorance is the lack of understanding of how our mind is attached to impermanent things. The reasons for suffering are craving and ignorance. Because the objects of our attachment are transient, their loss is inevitable, thus suffering will necessarily follow.

When I wrote this post, I felt the ever pulsating heart of the universe. I observed the life and the whole existence and I kind of wondered, whether there would be someone, who did too, understood me from such point of view and simply wished me joyful experience on my way. I'm not disappointed nobody related to me this way, you were all answering from your own perspectives, which is just as great, because I'm not here to judge, merely observe. :)

I know everyone is locked in their perspectives most of the time, in my own perspective I'm mad about learning to surf as you may know. And I'm still planning on doing that, then going surfing around the world. Perhaps climb the Mount Everest one day, skydive and run a marathon. Just for experience of it.

There is a lot of things to do I got on my list, but whether I manage to do them or not, is of no importance. Once you let go of your perspective and touch the heart of the universe, you will understand. You will not try to stop anyone from doing whatever they want to do, or change anyone in any way. Lay aside your realities and their creation for a while, let go of your thoughts and tune into your heart.

Next time you happen to meet someone who appears to be contemplating taking their own life, you may still try to stop them from doing that, but you will also understand it from the existence point of view, that whatever decision is made, it's alright. You will no longer be attached to life and therefore its potential loss will not make you suffer. But you will feel the compassion instead.

I hope you take your time and search for the way to feel the heart of the existence. To feel all its beauty and love. There is no manifestation of any sort, which Law of attraction can bring to you, which comes even close to what you experience when you just are one with everything.

Love you :)

Yesterday was the death and the goodbye of my attachment to my Ego, so I shall live today for the first time. In Michaela's words

I die Now, so I can live Now!

To those who think I ought to apologize.

I see where you are coming from, but I cannot relate to that point of view. The message I have given out has yet to reach you and I cannot apologize for what you have created.

I wish you free yourself of constructs of your mind. My apology would only comfort you in them.

And to those who are holding grudge over what I have written above, I shall leave you with this - "Apologize to yourself and forgive yourself afterwards, and you'll be well on your way" :) When you understand, we shall meet again.

asked 05 Sep '12, 08:37

CalonLan's gravatar image


edited 12 Sep '12, 05:07

Barry%20Allen's gravatar image

Barry Allen ♦♦

I am very confused here. ???

(05 Sep '12, 08:44) Fairy Princess

I don't know what this is about. Haven't clicked on the link yet. But you are not done here. You have more to learn and teach. Somebody here needs you.

(05 Sep '12, 08:49) Fairy Princess

if u do talk, i will not try to change ur veiws, just want a simple chat with u

(05 Sep '12, 08:49) TReb Bor yit-NE

u know, one time i really thought about killing myself, i had it all planned out and when it came time my wife walked into the house, and i didnt, and after that i realized all the things between ere and now, i have helped change others lifes, and i got to watch my son grow up more and helped him live more, there is ALWAYS more to do in life, i promise u this ,

(05 Sep '12, 08:56) TReb Bor yit-NE

if no one cared u would not have got my number and comments, so please, ta least consider this idea, i am in u.s. and idk if u r too, but if u are, it is simple free call, i am here waiting for u my friend,

(05 Sep '12, 08:57) TReb Bor yit-NE

feeling bad or depressed is ok, we are emotional beings, and it is the fact that we judge ourselfs in this way that makes us suffer, when u know u are worth loving and that these momments of suffering teach us, this is what we realy need to understand who we are, wnding that prematurly is not gonna helps us whatso ever, then we have nothing to learn from, stop judging ur emotions and just let them go by, they will, and u will be able ot be a stringer person for it. i love u and u r worth loving

(05 Sep '12, 09:02) TReb Bor yit-NE

I have been sending love your way. I hope you are feeling it.

(05 Sep '12, 09:21) Fairy Princess

Life is for enjoying, not dying. So please get out and ejoy living.

(05 Sep '12, 09:28) Fairy Princess

When you take your own life you are dooming yourself to be a ghost until the time you would have died. That is a long time to feel regret over killing yourself. DO NOT DO THAT!

Jai & I will pray for you...

(05 Sep '12, 09:37) Wade Casaldi

You have a huge contribution to make in this world CalonLan. No one sees things exactly like you do. You are a very special person, and you are loved and needed here. I love you. I too am sending huge waves of love to you. Please open your heart and let it in. There is so much to enjoy in this life. You have so many wonderful experiences and friends and loves in front of you...

(05 Sep '12, 10:00) Grace

@Calon Lan Remember the Jimmy Stewart film - It's a wonderful life - you probably aren't aware of how many people you've positively affected. Please please don't go .... it would be a real waste. I am sending you love and appreciation.

(05 Sep '12, 10:14) Catherine

@CalonLan - Holding up love and light and clarity and peace for you, CalonLan. You are strong and wise and beautiful. You will get through this and shine brighter than ever. I love you.

(05 Sep '12, 11:29) Grace

@CalonLan I admit it - I still have many many attachments ... I'm just glad you are sticking around with us. I really appreciate your take on things.

(06 Sep '12, 06:17) Catherine

@CalonLan What was the song choice - my web browser is playing up again?

(06 Sep '12, 06:21) Catherine

@Catherine, it's The Himalaya Meditation - Awakening - Waking Call :) Enjoy

(06 Sep '12, 06:41) CalonLan

@CalonLan- I still am angry...I think you could have worded your post scared us all...I am soooooo glad you are okay, and explained yourself, tho.

(06 Sep '12, 10:58) Jaianniah

@Jai, They were just words, you gave them your own meaning, and got angry over it? :) Reality creation at work :) Be happy instead.

(06 Sep '12, 13:15) CalonLan

@Calonlan- Great to hear your fine and well and seemingly a bit more enlightened:)

(06 Sep '12, 15:14) Satori

@Calonlan well i did not have time to talk to you. you have free will and are responsible of it. that you want to stay or go is completely your choice and your responsability. but know this before you came in the world you made the choice to experience this life that you are having right now. so do not take this opportunity to experience this world,and waste it.let there be light,be the light that you can be,experience and enjoy.

(06 Sep '12, 19:36) white tiger

Jesus said, "Congratulations to the one who came into being before coming into being. Jesus said, "Congratulations to the person who has toiled and has found life." Jesus said, "Look to the living one as long as you live, otherwise you might die and then try to see the living one, and you will be unable to see." Jesus said, "Congratulations to you when you are hated and persecuted; and no place will be found, wherever you have been persecuted."

(06 Sep '12, 19:44) white tiger

Jesus said, "Congratulations to those who have been persecuted in their hearts: they are the ones who have truly come to know the Father. Jesus said, "If you bring forth what is within you, what you have will save you. If you do not have that within you, what you do not have within you [will] kill you."

(06 Sep '12, 19:46) white tiger

Jesus said, "I am the light that is over all things. I am all: from me all came forth, and to me all attained.

Split a piece of wood; I am there.

Lift up the stone, and you will find me there."

Jesus said, "Why have you come out to the countryside? To see a reed shaken by the wind? And to see a person dressed in soft clothes, [like your] rulers and your powerful ones? They are dressed in soft clothes, and they cannot understand truth."

(06 Sep '12, 19:47) white tiger

Jesus said, "When you see your likeness, you are happy. But when you see your images that came into being before you and that neither die nor become visible, how much you will have to bear!" Jesus said, "The heavens and the earth will roll up in your presence, and whoever is living from the living one will not see death." Does not Jesus say, "Those who have found themselves, of them the world is not worthy"?

(06 Sep '12, 19:51) white tiger

Well it is not April, so we can't say April Fools. I guess that makes us all September Fools then...

(06 Sep '12, 21:13) Wade Casaldi

@CalonLan-I think you owe this whole community an apology...your whole post sounds like a suicide note, and I am sorry, but not everyone here is a Buddhist. How else could we take such a post?

(07 Sep '12, 08:25) Jaianniah

@CalonLan- something to ponder when you write that "they are just words " Courtesy of PSI TEK and Your Invisible Power ........

"In your every word there is the power germ that expands and projects itself in the direction your word indicates, and ultimately develops into physical expression " Light .... Love

(07 Sep '12, 10:10) Starlight

On the comical side, I'm just wondering if Simon would consider creating a "contraversial question" badge.

(07 Sep '12, 10:53) Nikulas

@calonLan, thank u for being who u are, and although ur efforts where not made many happy, sometimes that isnt what matters, it is ur journey. Happy birthday brother, and i love u. happy b-day is now TWO meanings, ;-)

(07 Sep '12, 18:04) TReb Bor yit-NE

I am not buying that it was only metaphorically about the Ego because you don't take pills and you don't ask for a way that's fun and brings joy instead of grief. It was imature and selfish. So just own up to it and be honest with us and with yourself.

(07 Sep '12, 18:53) Fairy Princess

@calonLan if you would really remove the darkness in you, you would not die but become alive. remember the dead are not alive and the living will not die. so you should have said today i will live and be the light that i can be...and so should you,you guys and gals

(07 Sep '12, 20:39) white tiger

@CalonLan & @Fairy Princess- FP, I agree with you. A suicide note was posted here. It says in Matthew 12:37: (Jesus speaking) "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Cal, you are not owning up to what you did. You scared us, and we cared about you. On the surface, not knowing you well, your post reads badly. You need to see that! I forgive you, but I still believe that you owe an apology to this community. My final say on the subject...Jai

(08 Sep '12, 10:40) Jaianniah

This incredible thread was on my mind today, thinking of comments on IQ. To me, it's obviously excessive, and an extreme example, but illustrative of the point that comments play an important role here. Even though the thread is massive, it looks like all the comments are on topic. I was also very surprised to see that there are, at this moment, exactly 23 answers; a number I thought I had just pulled out of the air. :)

(07 Apr '13, 18:55) Grace

@Grace "it looks like all the comments are on topic" Look again.

(08 Apr '13, 03:00) ele

@CalonLan "I observed the life and the whole existence and I kind of wondered, whether there would be someone, who did too, understood me from such point of view and simply wished me joyful experience on my way" There was some one watching who knew what you were up too. I watched it all from the beginning. FP sounded the alarm & Rob being Rob jumped right in. Then mass hysteria set in. I had been reading your posts for awhile & I could NOT figure out for the life of me why these people who *

(08 Apr '13, 03:45) ele

interacted with you so closely did not understand what you were up to. Did they ever read your posts or were they too busy thinking of new questions to ask or writing their own answers. I was absolutely shocked no one figured out what you were doing. I had no doubt I was right & Rob's post confirmed it. The first time I recall reading 1 of your questions, you were being dramatic, "what am I going to do with the rest of my life" - I thought you were a woman facing retirement alone & not ...

(08 Apr '13, 03:46) ele

a young man who just graduated college & who had just beat cancer. Next post I recalled you talked about reading a new self help book and how you always get carried away. Then synchronicities. Only hrs prior to you posting the song & meaning of CalonLan, I looked it up, it was familiar & I was in awe the next day when I saw your post. Only min's before you posted 1 of my fav quotes, I was reading it. I could go on & on. I did get a bit irritated because I knew you were sitting at your ....

(08 Apr '13, 03:50) ele

.... computer watching everyone go crazy with worry & you did nothing to relieve their fears. People were giving you their contact info. Why didn't they know what I did. You wouldn't take your life before you saw the ocean & learned to surf. Then when you came back the next day; the ANGER. Did you notice the more religious people on this thread were the angriest & least forgiving? When I came back, I planned on connecting with you but you were vibrating an energy I did not want to connect .....

(08 Apr '13, 03:58) ele

..... & so I was mean to you. Sorry. Now you make me laugh. Thank you.

(08 Apr '13, 03:59) ele

@ele, I remember our first interaction was an argue. haha. And yes, religious people specifically, but as a matter of fact all people who are set in their ways, have set of beliefs they work hard to reinforce all the time to re-assure themselves and clarify that the way they're living is the RIGHT way are in fact the most angriest ones out there. They want to push their ways onto the world.

Looking back, I'm somewhere else than I was when I posted it. Sort of different person within,...

(08 Apr '13, 04:22) CalonLan

...although being seemingly the same without.

It's a strange game of mind. With everything I post, I'm looking to clarify as well. Looking for someone who would agree with my perspective, but when I find someone like that, I think well, somebody agrees with me, something must be wrong lol!

I find it sort of amusing as well, that I'm not in denial about my personality, yet I do nothing to change it. Unlike many people who don't even realize how things they do and say project on their....

(08 Apr '13, 04:26) CalonLan

...environment. E.g. When I'm about to say something nasty, I recognize why I want to say it, what insecurity of mine makes me want to put the other person down, only so I can feel better for a moment. And then, instead of trying to appeal to better righteous person in me, I say the nasty stuff anyway.

I mean, what else you want to do? Look around and pick your direction then set on a journey. If you pick west, go west and don't second guess it. Should I be saying nasty stuff? Should I be ...

(08 Apr '13, 04:30) CalonLan

...going west? Shouldn't I be a nice guy? Shouldn't I turn around and go east instead?

People need to stop thinking there's something WRONG with them. Then they'll stop trying to get themselves and each other RIGHT.

People wanna feel important, like they matter, like there's a meaning to their existence in here, get the attention, be in the spotlight. Putting other down to feel just that is not nice you say? Well, but it is one of many ways. Why invite morality all of sudden....

(08 Apr '13, 04:38) CalonLan

...I will even go that far and admit I enjoy the attention, that you specifically, give towards me. It's always nice to come in here, and get some of it after days of living like a buddha. haha. Although I realize that very often, upon reveling raw essence of one's behavior, like this - all the glitter is usually lost and the other person might change their ways because of that. But no shame, no regrets! I just hope the amount of straightforwardness doesn't kill anyone. haha

(08 Apr '13, 04:43) CalonLan

hahaha! Bless your heart! You're too funny. I'm LMAOROTF! Seriously. What's really funny is I'm stone sober & I'm sure you're not. Trust allows me to laugh & to experience bliss & to give. Thank you. I'm going to do something totally awesome today cause I'm radiating joy & love. Much appreciated. Sad no one else gets you. They don't know what they are missing.

(08 Apr '13, 06:45) ele

@ele, they must be happy and all is well then. For knowing what they are missing and still be missing it, would be the real tragedy. =)

And I'm sober alright, still at work. Although I believe it's a stupid rule to forbid drinking during working hours.

(08 Apr '13, 06:57) CalonLan

I just read where you said you were at the office. Sorry, no offense intended. You must crack everyone up there. It would so much fun to work with you. Have a Great Day!

(08 Apr '13, 07:00) ele

BTW when I was (past tense) talking to MM2; he said (speaking strictly as a Buddhist) you were the most enlightened person he met on IQ. FWIW. I haven't spoken to him since he made those comments when he got banned.

(08 Apr '13, 07:03) ele

@ele, great day to you too =)

(08 Apr '13, 07:15) CalonLan

@CalonLan and @ele- Go on a date xx

(08 Apr '13, 07:24) Nikulas

@Nikulas I did ask him to our Oscar party. He would have been so much fun & fit in perfectly. Unfortunately I don't date guys as young as Cal. I prefer men my age. I would go on a platonic date with him. lol! This is Cal's thread to muck up. Thanks @Cal & you have a nice day too Nik

(08 Apr '13, 07:39) ele

@ele HEY I "get" him too...

(08 Apr '13, 13:16) ursixx

Hey @ursixx who do you get? Cal? Now you get Cal? It's about time you get Cal. What took you so long? I thought you were working. I'm going to listen to Cal's love song again so I can get back in my happy place & lay down for a bit. I'm getting a headache. This was a convert maneuver wasn't it? Nice one - very cool. @Fairy Princess I talked about you on this thread too. I thought you were subscribed. I won't be talking to you or about you again. Have a nice day!

(08 Apr '13, 13:25) ele
showing 0 of 53 show 53 more comments

The question has been closed for the following reason "No longer relevant" by IQ Moderator 30 Dec '13, 14:45

CalonLan - please call Rob, you don't have to go today, you don't get to make that decision, please talk to someone..


answered 05 Sep '12, 09:25

MoonWillow's gravatar image



Like Michaela, I suspected you were talking metaphorically about your impending self-inflicted death rather than literally.

But I do also think you wanted an emotional reaction from many of the people here (which is what you got) and so I think you deliberately made your posting ambiguous as a result.

So while many of the people here may have been put in touch with their own feelings of vulnerability about the idea of death and may have gained some insights from that, I think you may also wish to consider what it is within you that requires others to be emotionally activated in that way.

This is not intended as a criticism, just a friendly observation. I have that same tendency within myself to want to "wake people up", so I know where you are coming from, but I just tend to be a bit more restrained about it :)


answered 06 Sep '12, 08:33

Stingray's gravatar image


edited 06 Sep '12, 08:34

@Stingray, Not that I wanted to active people in any specific way. I went out all the way being the way I was at the moment and I felt appropriate for the audience addressed. Were I to address, say, my real life friends, I could have never gotten the message across by way I might have here.

But what it might be in me that is tempted to "share" with others. Perhaps because of the very nature of oneness which shares experience of everyone and everything. It feels like a natural thing to do. :)

(06 Sep '12, 09:18) CalonLan

Have to say I agree with you @Stingray , whilst I may not have understood that this was a metaphorical question , I find it extremely disturbing that someone would ask for ideas (fun ? ideas ) of disposing of themselves .It won't matter to me now if there's any comment comeback because at day's end I am allowed to have my own feelings ,am still edgy about it , not because of a persons wanting to exit the planet , just the any ideas thing .

(06 Sep '12, 20:09) Starlight

@Stingray, this certainly did touch a lot of nerves, but then, so do you. The thing is, your teaching is kind and generous and comes from a different place, somehow. It does not terrify me, its gentle, and I don't have to hurt so much in order to learn, yet I have learned more from you than from any other living person in the world. This was a very interesting experiment and I personally got a lot out of it, but, just for the record, I like your way much better. Love you, @Stingray. ;)

(06 Sep '12, 22:09) Grace

@Grace what could you learn from this other than not to take a suicide threat too seriously? I agree with what Fairy Princess said of Crying Wolf. Could we be unaffected if the next person that threatens suicide is serious and we stand by and do nothing to help then find out it is too late?

(06 Sep '12, 22:16) Wade Casaldi

"I no longer suffer or feel pain of this world, and so it's time to go. I'm just wondering how would you suggest I go about it? I would like it to be some happy way preferably and extraordinary if possible. Not just lying in my bed or sitting in my chair. Something fun.

So could someone please explain to me HOW this refers to "EGO " , it is an intangible not a physical and I am really struggling with this "experiment " ?

(06 Sep '12, 22:44) Starlight

@Wade Casaldi, no no, please don't misunderstand - please read the edit to my answer. I learned that I consciously choose not to live without attachment, even though it obviously caused me a great deal of pain here. I agonized over him all day long, and would actually choose to do it again. The lesson for me was, I love that about me. I learned to respect it, don't want to change it, I don't want to be so spiritual that I don't care. My revelation is, that is beautiful, because its me....

(06 Sep '12, 22:52) Grace

...I don't have to be unattached like @CalonLan, that is not a goal for me; he's fine as he is, I'm totally different, which is also, just fine. I wish he had gone about this some other way, because I do feel that he did not respect our feelings, but the hard fact is I chose to care. I will always choose to care. The lesson is, for me, that I choose, and I'm happy to take the consequences. I hope I'm making sense, I do realize I'm running on.

(06 Sep '12, 22:59) Grace

@Grace this is real caring and compassion yes Grace I see what you meant now. :-) Yes it reminds me of a line from one of Jefferson Moore's movies. The girl asks Jesus, "Was it really as bad as that passion movie?" Jesus responds, "It was worse." She says, "You did that all for me?" He responds "Yes and I would do it all over again for you if I had to." That line that he would do it all over again for us is so moving and I agree. We with compassion would do this all over again if we had too. ☺☺

(06 Sep '12, 23:09) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi - "If we had to" being the operative phrase!

(07 Sep '12, 01:31) Grace
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

Actually, I mean no offense but the idea that we let our Ego go or say goodbye to it is not how it works. We need our Ego, we couldn't exist here without it. The idea is to align the Ego with your Spirit and in order to do that you must learn to love and understand the Ego. It is not something we want to get rid of, we just want to align.
Also want to point out that it is your Ego that gave you the desire to post the comment about it on line in the first place. An aligned Ego would have no need, reason nor desire to say anthing to anyone else about letting it go. When you have that feeling that you don't want to say anything or tell anyone or teach anyone anything, then you've got it. It would also be true that it is my Ego that is wanting to send this post response, and i'm okay with that, I love my Ego for allowing me to exist and participate.


answered 06 Sep '12, 10:47

Sherry's gravatar image


@Sherry, Ego is a way to perceive the world. You don't have to perceive it, you just exist in it. ;)

(06 Sep '12, 13:12) CalonLan

I just finished speaking to him. He is thinking clear and he is thinking well. He didn't seem out of whack like many people I have spoke to on the suicide hotlines I have before. I wont go int specifics because it is not my place. But he is at peace with himself and his surroundings. I think that is a good thing. no matter what it is good to be at peace with urself and surroundings.

love n light



answered 05 Sep '12, 11:23

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 05 Sep '12, 11:32


Thank you for sharing that Rob. Thank you for being there for him.

(05 Sep '12, 11:26) Fairy Princess

I'm so glad you were here at the right time. No coincidences. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for talking to our CalonLan. You sound positive, I am very hopeful for him.

Thank you so much again, you are such a blessing to all who get to talk to you. We are so fortunate here to have you.

(05 Sep '12, 11:28) Grace

@grace and fairy princess. Thank u too and i am gld that i could chat to him. lnl 2 u both

(05 Sep '12, 11:31) TReb Bor yit-NE

There is a world where there is a lot to be thankful about - to be grateful about!! Every time, even if I start to feel sad about anything- I just remember to ask why should I be sad? I really find no reason! And it clearly shows how we love each other here in IQ!!!! - we have to be grateful even about this. Hopefully, @CalonLan is getting better and better. My prayer for @CalonLan!

(05 Sep '12, 11:54) ZDCobran

@TReb Bor yit-NE Rob good job, we are all needed in one way or another. It is a blessing you are part of our group! :-)

(05 Sep '12, 15:27) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi . thank u my friend, i am great full to be here and i love every single one of u, so much i want to help others and i know every word i read, and every word i write here, is doing that, helping someone, me or them. and i love u all so much. u r great and i have always had great connection to u, ur advice in channeling has been so useful, thank u with my heart. and grace and fairyprinces, and zdcorbran, i love u all too and ty for ur great words of advice

(05 Sep '12, 16:58) TReb Bor yit-NE

Love you Rob.

(05 Sep '12, 17:19) Grace

@Treb- You are a legend Rob:)

(05 Sep '12, 18:17) Satori

Good stuff Rob, thankyou

(05 Sep '12, 21:29) Nikulas

@everyone lolol, thank u all for ur support. I do what compels me and I was drawn to I.q. yesterday mourning, usually it is a mid day to evening thing for me. I did connect to CalonLan yesterday and he explained what he did and why he stated that in those words and almost made me feel bad about worrying. He has great point in the fear of loss is what causes grief. If someone takes their life in suffering, it is not good, but when they die at peace, they will be at peace. I knew that he was fine.

(06 Sep '12, 07:55) TReb Bor yit-NE

Hi Rob, I believe you had the most difficult role to play in this little drama. You played it beautifully, I think. This was not easy for any of us who got involved, but your character, love, understanding and strength really shined in what you did here. I think even more of you than I did before, which is seriously saying something.

(06 Sep '12, 23:49) Grace

@TReb Bor yit-NE I still say good job Rob! Never stop caring or helping people. Just because some may say, "Do not care, don't judge, just let them go, everything will be fine for you." Care anyway, do something anyway, love anyway, have compassion anyway. :-)

(07 Sep '12, 00:08) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi -

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

(07 Sep '12, 00:56) Grace

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa :)

(07 Sep '12, 00:56) Grace

@Grace.... Now who could argue with Mother Teresa!

(07 Sep '12, 02:38) ursixx

@Grace Yes those are such wise words. We are given dominion over all the earth in other words care takers. We are here to help establish God's kingdom on earth. No more fear, worry, sickness, poverty, we put it all at the foot of the cross and walk away. To reach this there is much work to alleviate pain and suffering for others, to show they don't need to fear or worry. These are our brothers and sisters of the earth. :-)

(07 Sep '12, 05:36) Wade Casaldi

@Ursixx, I would imagine Osho would. lol

(07 Sep '12, 07:07) CalonLan

true @CalonLan but what is Ying with out Yang?

(07 Sep '12, 12:39) ursixx

it was goo lesson for us all. @Grace thank u my dear, thank u so much and i am happy to help, @ wade Casaldi, thank u too my freind. love u all

(07 Sep '12, 17:55) TReb Bor yit-NE
showing 2 of 19 show 17 more comments

I recently discovered this site. My first reaction to the discovery was absolute joy, to find what I thought were like-minded individuals who enjoyed exercising their abstract thinking "muscle".

--The fact that someone would leave such as message as this in order to"test" people's reaction is a turn off, and I believe it came from a place of anger and passive aggression!

Why not expend the same amount of energy challenging yourself to live your best life, and save this forum for people who feel emotionally open enough to share their deepest, heartfelt concerns? Allow folks the peace of mind of thinking that when they sincerely venture out with their questions, the answers will come from folks who take them seriously and whose responses come from the heart!


answered 06 Sep '12, 22:25

Blkfox's gravatar image



Agreed I think he is trying to say the next time someone says, "I am going to kill my self." That we should just be like Ebeneezer Scrooge and say, "Well hurry up about it then and decrease the surplus population."

I am compassionate and caring. I try to help and I pray for the person that needs it. I try to show how this is a passing moment in time. This is not the end of the line, but just a snag along the way.

I look at this as a test of my faith I will not let my heart be hardened. Care.

(06 Sep '12, 22:42) Wade Casaldi

@Blkfox, welcome to IQ! Please pardon our mess, we are all works in progress. :) I sincerely hope you will stick around. Perhaps you could think of us a very large, very loving, very accepting, possibly slightly disfuntional family... and there's always room for one more! :D

(07 Sep '12, 00:12) Grace

“It does take great maturity to understand that the opinion we are arguing for is merely the hypothesis we favor, necessarily imperfect, probably transitory, which only very limited minds can declare to be a certainty or a truth.” -Milan Kundera

So you see, there's no way to judge my actions. One can only be true to himself, not to liking of others. For what is a man, what has he got, if not himself than he has naught. To say the things he truly feels, and not the words of one who kneels.

(07 Sep '12, 02:08) CalonLan

@Blkfox, I understand your point of view, but all I can say to it, you always have a choice not to read it, and if you do you again have a choice not to worry about it. But if you do, don't blame me for you feeling bad, your feelings are all your creations ;-) It's interesting in a way, we talk so much about reality creation on this site, yet when the situation appears to get real, the awareness of it appears to disappear and many return to their perspectives to judge and blame. :)

(07 Sep '12, 02:14) CalonLan

@blkfox, i understand what u mean, but this is the first time i have ever had any type of experience in this group, I know CalonLan and know he is not like that, so i was hoping he was speaking metaphysically as well. and he was, and it was good. Besides this scare, i have had more great breakthroughs spiritually here than any place online besides my channeling. It serves as a great place to love and speak ur mind.thank u for speaking urs,and know all great things can have small flaws. Love 2 u

(07 Sep '12, 18:00) TReb Bor yit-NE

@blkfox,, what i meant to type was "first time i have ever had any type of experience that was like this....

(07 Sep '12, 18:01) TReb Bor yit-NE
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

@CalonLan, great answer. I think this is perfectly expressed. (02 Aug, 08:46)Grace

@CalonLan I thoroughly enjoyed the direction you went in with this answer. It did seem to flow and resonate a lot smoother with the song you linked to as well. Thank you for sharing some insightful and inspiring thoughts. (16 Apr, 12:15)Cory

Great answer, Calon, I enjoyed this very much as well :) (16 Apr, 12:33)LapisLazuli

@CalonLan: I also did like the link and the music is really good, good for meditating. I think I will put this on my mp3 player. Thank you. And I do agree with your answer. Live your life to the fullest, only answer to yourself. (16 Apr, 20:40)PurpleRose

I must say I enjoyed the experience too CalonLan. Your musical composition was well selected and your writing style captured my imagination as would a movie. I look forward to seeing more of your captivating collections. (19 Apr, 02:00)Constantine

Calon all I can say! It's like all of a sudden I can open my eyes and see the rich goergous sunset! The music link you've provided was the best thing since the forrest gump theme; but taking your perspective, which deeply strikes cords, everything is beautiful. Before I read this answer, I was having a blue moment. I asked God to give me an answer (I rarely get them), and this was the first thing I clicked on. Amazing...Just amazing. Thankyou xx (19 Apr, 08:57) Nikulas

Thank you so much Calonlan...."NEVER" have I "EVER" experienced an emotional "EXPLOSION" like I just did with your post. The combination of music and words, inspired by the music, was beautiful. I tip my hat for your creative idea. I have experienced the love I hear Bashar talking about but couldn't understand until now. Let me tell you what happened......(18 Aug, 22:00)Eldavo

This is beautiful Cal :) (17 Aug, 08:19)LapisLazuli

Thank you CalonLan for understanding my situation so wonderfully... I have thought over your answer for some days now and I agree.. It is the reality that we have made for ourself that gives trouble sometimes.. I am quite stable now.. Thank you so much for taking the effort to answer this.(01 May, 13:36)Perfection

@CalonLan, Love this answer, its so true. We get to decide what is going to be important. All of it is up to us. So easy to forget! And I too, loved the Buddha quote. For some reason, I've never seen that before. It's a keeper.(03 Jul, 16:20)Grace

@CalonLan - your answer is beautiful, it's opened up a whole new portal for me. It's amazing how the Universe sends me these wonderful messages through beautiful people like you - Thank you (11 May, 08:11)MoonWillow

@CalonLan, @MoonWillow is right. This is truly beautiful. Thank you.(19 Jun, 12:00)Grace

very well said dear! that was a great reminder! :) (01 Jun, 10:15)MagicalUniverse

CalonLan this is a beautiful answer and so true.(09 May, 01:19)Paulina 1

@CalonLan, what a profound quote and answer. Thank you:) Can I request you to maybe convert it into answer, I think readers tend to skip comments and jump to answers. Just saying. It'll be more beneficial to more people:) (06 Jul, 04:49)Xoomaville

@CalonLan - I agree. Living without fear allows one to also be happy in addition to opening the doors to everything else. Nice comment. Thank you.(22 May, 18:30)figure8shape

@CalonLan, oh man, how could I have forgotten this?? Amazing, if someone hasn't seen the film 'Rudy'-- 1993, great inspirational film...goosebumps, every time, Guaranteed!!! Thanks CalonLan for posting this:)) (29 Jul, 10:53)Xoomaville

@CalonLan I am so grateful to be a part of ur life. Even if it is short exchanges of teaching and learning from each other, it is well received and so much a joy of mine. I am glad to see it is with u as well. Love to you. :-) (27 Aug, 17:51)TReb Bor yit-NE


answered 05 Sep '12, 13:22

Satori's gravatar image


edited 05 Sep '12, 18:13


@Satori, This is so beautiful, my heart feels like its going to burst. What a wonderful thing to do for our CalonLan. Thank you. You amaze me.

(05 Sep '12, 15:23) Grace

@Grace- Thank you very much for your kind words Grace, least I could do.

(05 Sep '12, 18:15) Satori

Please don't go. Everything changes CalonLan. The way you feel will change. I promise. Please don't go.

Please call Rob.

I love you, pure heart, please don't go.


Edit September 6, 2012

@CalonLan - I am so very glad you are still here. I did wonder for a moment if this was deliberate deception, but ultimately, I felt that if you wanted to take your life, you would be in so much pain and feel so unloved, regardless of how you expressed yourself, that this level of agony and human suffering had to be my choice to accept as truth, because if I were wrong, increasing your pain was unacceptable to me. I cannot consciously cause someone unneccessary pain, just to save myself from being fooled.

For me, the last thing in the world I could do to a person suffering so would be to question them, the only thing I could possibly do, being Me, was to tell you how much you are loved and needed. I'm still glad I did.

I learned quite a bit from this. I was sad and worried all day. I was at work, and kept thinking about you, hoping that you could get past the pain and decide to live. It isn't about wanting you for me, as much as it is wanting you know the truth, because such a decision can't be based in truth. No one kills themselves because they feel loved and needed and strong, all of which you are.

I learned that my spiritual goals are not the same as yours; maybe not the same as most; that they are maybe not as they should be. I have no wish in me anywhere to be so detached that I could not feel for someone suffering as you appeared to be. I never ever want to see someone in apparent agony, and think, oh ok, well, your choice. That may be what I should do, I'm not sure anymore, but I personally will not be reaching for that goal.

It may be unwise, as it would certainly avoid personal suffering, but I don't want it. It is helpful to have the knowledge that I choose this, because it helps to avoid being completely overwhelmed by the pain my attachments cause me.

The best thing, the most valuable and precious thing I learned, it that I no longer despise this tender-heartedness of mine - in fact, I find that I truely love myself for it. It has to be balanced and healthy, and I have to let it go if I feel it doing me harm, but the love that came soaring out of me for you, my intention to help however possible, which may be ugly and pathetic to others, is absolutlely beautiful to me. It is pure, it is human, and it is me. I don't have to be ashamed of it, I love it, I really do. :)

It may not be what you intended to show me, @CalonLan, but I am so glad to finally settle this in myself. Somehow, conversely, this has made me feel free to love without fear, knowing that I choose attachment to certain things. Very best of all, I can respect myself for the choice. What a gift. Thank you, our CalonLan.

I also discovered that I have a very hard time saying "I love you", which accounts, no doubt, for the fact that I seldom hear it. You smashed that wall down with a sledgehammer.

So thank you again, our @CalonLan. I love you!



answered 05 Sep '12, 09:20

Grace's gravatar image


edited 06 Sep '12, 09:37


Cinderella, even miracles take a little time- The Fairy Godmother

(05 Sep '12, 10:12) Grace

Look for the bare necessities, the good old bare necessities - Baloo

(05 Sep '12, 10:17) Grace

No matter how your heart is grieving. If you keep on believing. The dream that you wish will come true.

(05 Sep '12, 10:20) Grace

@Grace- I feel your magic will touch him, sincerely. A song from disneys The Princess and the Frog

I know my wish has come true. I wish Calon would stick around to see his dreams come to life.

(05 Sep '12, 11:33) Nikulas

@Nikulas, from your mouth to Heaven's ear, I sincerely hope so. And I am so glad you decided to stay, truly. You are an inspiration to so many of us. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

(05 Sep '12, 11:42) Grace

Can you feel the love tonight? You needn't look too far/Stealing through the night's uncertainties/Love is where they are

(05 Sep '12, 11:43) Grace

You're the best thing I never knew I needed. Beautiful, @Nikulas.

(05 Sep '12, 11:46) Grace

If you can bring yourself to say hello, our @CalonLan, we all would love to hear how you are. We will wait for you.

(05 Sep '12, 11:47) Grace

Hey CalonLan, my email address is in my profile. If you think that there is anything at all that you would like to talk about with me, anything I could do for you, I would love to hear from you. Please feel welcome to contact me any time. I've lived some life, and if nothing else, I am a good listener and I would sincerely love to be of any assistance to you that I can be. I'm also on FB with that address. Please stay with us, let's talk.

(05 Sep '12, 15:34) Grace

@Grace, life is a journey.And if you take time to make yourself aware of it, you see how amazing it is. Eventually, all the paths lead us home.Some may take longer than others, maybe several lives, but we will get there sooner or later.Reading your update was beautiful. The sense of experience of evolution,of a new dawn, was sensational. Regardless of which path you choose to walk, it is always an amazing journey to walk and observe. I wish you're always aware to enjoy every little bit of it. :)

(06 Sep '12, 10:03) CalonLan

@CalonLan, thank you. I hoped you would understand what I was saying, what happened to me in this experience, and it looks like you do. I would much prefer to learn things in less brutal ways, and I can't say I liked feeling manipulated, but there is just no way to deny that this was a profound breakthrough for me. I have been chipping away at so many areas of self-loathing for quite a while now, and you just blasted one whole frozen corner of my heart wide open. I feel exposed but alive!

(06 Sep '12, 22:24) Grace

@Grace, you surely understand I cannot change my ways for everyone I meet :). Just like a plane doesn't slow down nor speed up, because some of its passengers might be frightened or bored. You can always choose not to read what I write, or not to bother about it if you read. Choose the speed of learning about yourself that's comfortable to you. My way of being is only reflection of what I am willing to undergo myself. I learn in this speed and leave the trace at the very same one. :)

(07 Sep '12, 01:58) CalonLan

@Grace- I feel like I've met you before. What you're saying in your update is so wise and under-rated, and also so truthful. I get the sense you are pocess quite strong, loving, mothering qualities; there is already so much great proof of that here.

(07 Sep '12, 10:50) Nikulas

@Nikulas, thank you. I am very glad you liked my update, it was extremely truthful, and your kind words are much appreciated because that update really meant so much to me. I am truly seeing life differently since that moment. I hope I can live up to your high opinion.

I have a soft spot in my heart for you, partly because when I landed at IQ, I was looking for how to manifest a love for myself, and your questions were always mine before I could ask them....

(07 Sep '12, 18:39) Grace

...and helped me so much. But on a very different note, it is also because you remind me so much of my own son. He is a martial artist, a gymnast, very intelligent, a deeply spiritual thinker, and a romantic. His is about your age, and attempted suicide in 2008. I am so very happy to say, he changed his mind at the last possible moment; standing on the edge of a 10-story building. Feeling the breeze and admiring the beautiful view, he had an epiphany...

(07 Sep '12, 18:40) Grace

...that he wanted to live, and he's been thriving ever since that day. (Of course, I have his permission to share this, or I would not have done so.) I don't know what your circumstances were sweetness, but I am always especially happy to see your posts here, because you changed your mind too, thank goodness. :)

(07 Sep '12, 18:40) Grace
showing 2 of 16 show 14 more comments

@CalonLan - It would be great if you could post a question on what is bothering you and why you were considering ending your life so we can provide some insight into your situation and provide some solutions if we have been through something similar ourselves.


I also think that you could have worded your post differently if it was really not meant to get the reactions you have now got from the community but oh well you chose to do it that way, let's not judge.

Too bad, I will have to cancel my request to get your Karma points...


answered 05 Sep '12, 15:15

Pink%20Diamond's gravatar image

Pink Diamond

edited 06 Sep '12, 14:13

@Pink Diamond, I marked it "wiki" post, so I shall not receive any points even if you voted it up. I don't ask for any.

And I feel it was worded just as it should. To make one think less, and feel more. For mind is a tricky mechanism and it only stands in our way of experience most of the time anyway. :)

(06 Sep '12, 14:33) CalonLan

@CalonLan - I think I must have badly worded my edit because you didn't get my joke about the karma points :-)

The joke was that I would have to cancel the request I made to the administrators for ME to get all YOUR karma points on the site if you had really killed yourself as you would obviously not require them then.

(06 Sep '12, 14:46) Pink Diamond

Ah, :). But even then you are asking wrong entity, running maybe 50% of succeeding. You could just ask me and I'd give them to you. :P

(06 Sep '12, 14:57) CalonLan

@CalonLan - I am glad you got the joke. I will keep your offer in mind although I have to emphasize again that it was only a joke :-)

(06 Sep '12, 15:09) Pink Diamond

@Pink Diamond, and I'll keep the offer opened, for jokes are often times more than just that. We often joke about things we wish were real, but for some reason dare not to make them appear to be part of our selves. As if we didn't want the world know, that this is who we are. Jokes make the topic seem distant and unrelated to us and we feel a little bit 'safe' :)

(06 Sep '12, 15:40) CalonLan

@CalonLan - I agree that jokes often do stem from things we wished were real but not always.

Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I don't deal in small change, lol :-))) If I really did have a wish for more points, I'd probably ask someone who is swimming in points, like Stingray :-)

(06 Sep '12, 18:12) Pink Diamond

@Pink Diamond - "I don't deal in small change, lol :-)))" - Indeed :) Actually, your discussion reminded me that @CalonLan would probably have alot more points if he hadn't given all of his away to me some months back. I don't know why he did it - I never asked - but this seems like an opportune moment to "pass the favor along" with a donation of my own. @CalonLan - hope you don't mind me butting-in on your offer. @Pink Diamond - hope you enjoy the "little boost" to your IQ points total :)

(06 Sep '12, 21:52) Stingray

@Stingray, your answer at the time was bigger than all of my understanding, so I felt only appropriate to reward it with all I've got. :)

(07 Sep '12, 02:23) CalonLan

@Stingray - 10,000 points!!! are indeed unbelievable. Thanks very much for being so generous. I was just having a playful exchange with CalonLan. I guess you must have liked the joke very much :-)

@CalonLan - I guess the joke is on me as you have contributed to some of Stingray's points :-)

(07 Sep '12, 05:25) Pink Diamond

@Pink Diamond You deserved the points. You had the most helpful answer in the form of a question. "It would be great if you could post a question on what is bothering you and why you were considering ending your life so we can provide some insight into your situation and provide some solutions if we have been through something similar ourselves."

(08 Apr '13, 04:02) ele
showing 2 of 10 show 8 more comments


Look mate,

Have enough diginity and respect inside to just listen to what I have to say, when I say this,

I have been there before, and I've come out feeling so incredibly better

If you feel your life is pointless, useless, boring, depressing, tragic, sad, heartbreaking, lonely, bitter, unfair and just plain emotional hell, there are two things I'd get you to do in order to get feeling better.

What I will say now is nothing out of the blue. In fact, it's very common, and it doesn't fit a metaphysically based website, but for the emotional position you are in, these are things you can do.

1- Talk about your problems to someone who will listen. The more people, the better. You just have to talk talk talk talk talk talk talk for a while.

2- Stick around. And that is it. Just get through every day...Your mood will pick up a bit at some stage or another. I cannot say when, but it shall.

Until you are feeling a bit better emotionally, I will not offer any other links or advise about what to do.

Drop this subject for a while, and just trust the idea that things will turn around.

If anything, do it for me. About 4-5 months ago I was there, Calon...And it is the most horrible thing in the world; to feel emotionally upset and lost. There isn't anything more dark, because, when you're in the hole of tragedy, you truely know and believe you'll never, ever get out.

But you will. And when you do, you'll be glad you stuck around. I am living proof, and no-one here can deny that. Embrace the darkness. Embrace the coldness, feel it entirely, and let the road get as bumpy as it may in terms of your emotional rollercoaster. But please stick around. You have the power to change anything you don't like in your life, and, because you exist on this planet, you are worthy of nothing except true love and happiness.

I feel gay saying this, but love you. If you'll believe me, I am in tears right now begging God/ Universe/ Something for you to get better and stay.


answered 05 Sep '12, 11:02

Nikulas's gravatar image


edited 05 Sep '12, 11:03


I wish I could vote this up a hundred times. @CalonLan, he's been where you are, so have I. Please listen. We love you.

(05 Sep '12, 11:19) Grace

@CalonLan- @Grace and I are dearly wishing you the best, and I'm sure everyone else is as well.

(05 Sep '12, 11:29) Nikulas

@Nikulas This is a lovely answer Nikulas and I agree when you're in that state of mind you think it will never end but it always does because nothing lasts forever, even really really bad feelings and you are absolutely right - you are always glad you stuck around. @CalonLan - I hope you can read all this!

(06 Sep '12, 03:09) Catherine
showing 2 of 3 show 1 more comments

I hope you've changed your mind... I just lost someone in my life and this was a little upsetting to read. But Rob said he feels you are in a good place and that is very comforting...

I don't know what to say. I just wish you all the best... I don't know what the reason is you want to do this. I mean, in the end it's your decision and I don't want you to base your decisions on what others feel. But why? Is there something your trying to find or accomplish? I believe it's all already here for us... and to take ourselves early is almost like robbing ourselves of our own opportunities.

At least, maybe take time to reconsider? We're all going to physically die at some point anyway... why rush it?

At the same time... I can kind of relate to this idea. I seriously considered taking my life at one point, because I was miserable and I could not understand why I should have to put up with it anymore. I saw no hope or light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't want to live a miserable life forever, if I couldn't have what I wanted then I wanted to end it now and stop wasting my time.

For me, I've discovered the flaws in thinking like that. I've confirmed for myself that the only limitations in life are the ones that I place upon myself. I can remove those limitations just as easily as I place them.

And you can, too. If there is something you are looking for, you can still find it here. You don't have to die to achieve it. I mean, you're here because the you wanted to be here at one point.

I hope we get to hear from you. If not, farewell and I will miss you dearly... sending my love to you.


answered 05 Sep '12, 22:34

LapisLazuli's gravatar image


edited 05 Sep '12, 23:47

Wow... I apologize for the typos... will fix them tomorrow when Im back at the computer. Take care everyone, have a good night...

(05 Sep '12, 23:50) LapisLazuli

@CalonLan Ha! When I read your post last night I was tempted to leave an answer but didn't. I knew you were not referring to the death of your physical body but to something much deeper. I think you've touched on the fact that death does not exist in the sense we usually perceive. In a sense we die each and every moment to the person we were and when we can truly die while still in this physical body we do indeed begin to really live life as it should be. If I had to change anything in your post it would be your last sentence...

I die Now, so I can live Now.

Good for You :))


answered 06 Sep '12, 05:59

Michaela's gravatar image


You are right Michaela, I die now, so I can live now :)

(06 Sep '12, 06:31) CalonLan

Could someone please provide the Cliff Notes on what has happened here? It seemed to me, Stingray and Michaela that @CalonLan was speaking metaphorically, yet the general consensus was that he was going to kill his physical body, i.e., commit suicide.

A lot of people were very upset by this declaration from CalonLan. Very upset. Continued ambiguous remarks did little to assuage these desperately hurt feelings, fears and cries for CalonLan to reconsider. Appeals were made that his previous posts were of great value to many people.

Unquestionably these previous posts were of great value, yet I see that no points were awarded for this post. Whether said points counted on a Wiki or not, no points. Does that indicate the value of this post?

Certainly a feeling of relief when he made it clear that this was metaphorical, but, so what? Is this feeling of relief, Joy?

What have we learned here?

Is this a situation whereby we have gained great, deep understanding? I would really like to believe this.

Or some cruel joke? I don't want to believe this. It does not seem like the CalonLan I have come to know and respect would be, could be anything but loving.

Whatever, God Speed CalonLan. Sincerely hope this answered your query and I very much mean this in Love and Light. I don't go in for sarcasm, please don't take it that way.

EDITED: 9/7/12 Here is a picture of our Spaniel, Gunther, he is also my profile picture. He is the epitome of Joy and Unconditional Love!

Forgiveness is given. I want to see this through the Eyes of Source. Let's keep the baby and toss the bathwater! There is good here and loving lessons yet to be learned.

alt text


answered 06 Sep '12, 19:24

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill

edited 08 Sep '12, 09:57


It was just a joke on us, as I wrote in my answer. Unfortunately there are real suicidal people that may find this post very offensive. I don't think suicide is much to joke about myself.

(06 Sep '12, 21:01) Wade Casaldi

Wade, me neither. Not a joke. Years ago I gave up April Fool's day. An April Fool is where someone tells a lie that someone else, believing them, is frightened until they find out it was a "joke". Usually no-one laughs except the person who told the "joke".

(06 Sep '12, 21:31) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill - "Could someone please provide the Cliff Notes on what has happened here?" - Basically, a couple of days ago, @CalonLan posted a brief message saying he was planning to die today (original version can be seen here: ). Rob (@TReb Bor yit-NE) managed to speak to him by Skype a few hours later in order to counsel him not to commit suicide. Rob later posted this message: . The next day...

(07 Sep '12, 08:54) Stingray

@Dollar Bill - ...@CalonLan added to his original message (it starts "Bless You guys :)" above in the currently visible question) to make clear he was speaking metaphorically. During that period of about a day without any response from @CalonLan following the original message, there was much concern and worry expressed on IQ about his fate and I believe people are now upset because they were put through that period of emotional turmoil. Those are the facts as I understand them. Hope that helps

(07 Sep '12, 09:00) Stingray

@Stingray- The way you articulated your response sounded exactly like a news reporter....Good ol skills are shining through again :P

(07 Sep '12, 10:37) Nikulas

@Nikulas I thought the same thing... made me laugh lol

(07 Sep '12, 10:48) LapisLazuli

@Stingray - Thanks for the concise report. It seems that CalonLan was originally in a suicidal state and he pulled out of it either on his own or through the kind help of Rob. This was not, as I surmised from some of the other comments a joke, nor premeditated. I am glad to hear this. I was having a hard time believing it was intentional on CalonLan's part. We all have our ups and downs in this great Tapestry Of Life! God Speed CalonLan.

(07 Sep '12, 12:13) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill It is too bad I had already given an up vote because this forgiveness post is the best! So if I could you'd get another up vote just for that forgiveness post. :-)

Jai and I already prayed for everyone and forgave. I think that is the main lesson here to forgive and move on. Anger is a passing moment, hurt is a passing moment, being upset is a passing moment but love and peace is a constant. :-)

(07 Sep '12, 16:43) Wade Casaldi

@Nikulas @LapisLazuli - Yeah, I see what you mean...almost sounds like a legal statement :) "Good ol skills are shining through again" - More like "old habits die hard" :)

(07 Sep '12, 18:49) Stingray

@Dollar Bill... I really don't think CalonLan was "originally in a suicidal state". I think he was 'playing' to see where everyone's awareness was... not intentionally in a 'bad' way but just to allow others to see where their own state of awareness was. And @CalonLan I think You may be pretty close to that "death of the ego" ( which is how I interpreted your post) but it is quite a trickster so don't allow it into fooling You that you've reached 'enlightenment' just yet.

(07 Sep '12, 21:49) Michaela

I think we all have still a way to go :))

(07 Sep '12, 21:50) Michaela

Ps. If I could negate the negative point on your post I would... but I already voted it up when I answered. And remember everyone when the need to defend arises you're in the presence of your greatest teachers and that's where real growth happens...keep on growing:))

(07 Sep '12, 21:53) Michaela

@ Wade Casaldi - I very much like your heart. While you are a solid Christian, you do empathize and relate very well with people of other faiths. We all have our various paths. Yours, and mine is Christian, but we do not demean, criticise nor discard others for believing differently.

As Christians, we are called upon to forgive. That does release the prisoner that is us. It is time to move on to other posts. YBIC Bill

(08 Sep '12, 10:09) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill Yes I have more than a tolerance for other religions I really would like to understand. Like my Nirvana vs Heaven question I really want to understand others better. I have studied about other religions in the past, they all have their good points. I just happen to believe Christ, he made it so easy and did everything for us because we could never do enough to please God or be worthy of heaven, so Jesus paved the way for us himself. :-)

(08 Sep '12, 11:27) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi - thank you very much for the Christian video. Powerful impact. At the end, I was wondering if He was going to take the man's place or haul him out. Nicely done.

(08 Sep '12, 12:02) Dollar Bill

@Dollar Bill You are very welcome YBIC †

(08 Sep '12, 12:46) Wade Casaldi
showing 2 of 16 show 14 more comments

Cal, you just NEGATED every positive, good post you posted with this crazy stunt. I cannot believe that you are doing this to this community. Go to my Emergency Support Question and read the link called "Before you Suicide". You need to get to a hospital, FAST!!!! You are seriously depressed. I hope this makes you angry; I hope this makes you act.



answered 05 Sep '12, 10:04

Jaianniah's gravatar image


edited 05 Sep '12, 10:06


evn,i ws intruinged tht something is actually wrong wth CalonLan..

(05 Sep '12, 10:10) supergirl

previous message form janniah support page............... please, read ur own answer,,,,,,

would tell them to go away from whatever place they are at for a moment, go to another city, countryside, or even another continent and read Buddha. While it is not a quick fix in form of aspirin for their headache, the knowledge they learn from his teachings will show them how to never get a headache ever again. But to be able to focus on it, once must find a place which doesn't distract him and provides him with peace. Somewhere where you have no business to do. So you can just be. Although I understand and can confirm from my personal experience, that nobody fully understands what he reads for the first time, until he goes all the way round and ends up where he started. It's like, you get your first book, and it will give you ideas, then you'll go and may read thousand other books you have been inspired to read only to come back to the one you got at the beginning and then you'll understand it better. Then you go another round, and when you come back you understand it even deeper. Same words, same sentences, same book. Yet it still provide more and more knowledge. It is because of the spiral of awareness. The more you know the more your awareness raises, which causes your perception to change, which leads to seeing more than you saw before. But yea, I would start with Buddha definitely. link|award points|edit|report|more ▼ answered 28 Aug, 07:26



answered 05 Sep '12, 10:52

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

We are all One. When one hurts the whole hurts. There are few natural attachments we have in life and one of them is self preservation, survival, to live. When someone takes their life, that is not a sign of being at peace, since our natural instinct is to live.

Then there is the issue of why would somebody ask it as a question if they don't want an answer? So either you are reaching out for help from compassionate people, or you are hiding a message in there. Since you did post it on This particular site, knowing that we understand these things, then what could you really expect from us? You may be typing into a computer, but there are real people on the other end here who assume they are communicating with real people on the computer also, and not the computer itself.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!"

The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

"Don't cry 'wolf', shepherd boy," said the villagers, "when there's no wolf!" They went grumbling back down the hill.

Later, the boy sang out again, "Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!" To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away.

When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'wolf' when there is NO wolf!"

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more.

Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, "Wolf! Wolf!"

But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn't returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping.

"There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, "Wolf!" Why didn't you come?"

An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village.

"We'll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning," he said, putting his arm around the youth, "Nobody believes a liar...even when he is telling the truth!"


answered 06 Sep '12, 09:59

Fairy%20Princess's gravatar image

Fairy Princess

Survival instinct is there only if you are afraid of losing something of value.But what is there,in the world of self-imposed and illusory value really worth thus making you afraid of losing it? And when you find such thing,answer Why it has such value?You will find that all values are subjects to certain beliefs.But all beliefs, opinions,definitions,are but a half of the truth.All things are even,they are all transient and so are their values we attach to them,and then cling to this attachment.

(06 Sep '12, 10:13) CalonLan

But as it was already said, why not live if you're here at last. Still the point is in awareness of life, it comes and go. It's not something to cling onto. Life is a fair challenge of the universe, either I live or I die, but I resent neither. People who are trying to prevent death, are trying to prevent life as well.

Nice story by the way :)

(06 Sep '12, 10:16) CalonLan

@CalonLan Taking one's own life is different than dying unintentionally. At the cellular level we move toward nourishment and away from poison. We have survival instincts. That is not the same as a fear of dying. I am not afraid to die, but I want to be here for my son. Not because I want him to be attached to me, but because I am his only parent, and it is nice to have parents to go to in life. We are all connected and when one dies at peace, it is not the same as when one is suicidal.

(06 Sep '12, 10:19) Fairy Princess

When we are fully present, in the Now, we are not worrying about death. We are not in the past nor future, only the present. That is the point.

(06 Sep '12, 10:22) Fairy Princess

I said to live while you are here.

(06 Sep '12, 10:28) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess, and I agree with you. In fact, people who want to die, and seem to have a reason to suicide, also have a reason to live - it's the opposite of it. Paradoxically, when you have no reason to live, you don't have a reason to die either. For in a true reason worth living for, one also finds the reason worth dying for.

(06 Sep '12, 13:36) CalonLan

@Fairy Princess This Boy That Cried Wolf story has a somewhat happier ending than the one I remember of, "He was never heard from again." I guess there are many versions but all have the same message. I agree with your assessment but don't let his test ruin your heart. Keep the compassion and caring for others in need. :-)

(07 Sep '12, 00:28) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi Don't worry, I won't let it ruin my heart. I will continue to care about others. However, he has blown any credibility he may have had with me.

(07 Sep '12, 07:42) Fairy Princess

@Fairy Princess- Amen!!!!!!! I am sorry, but that whole post was worded like a suicide note...I agree with you. Jai

(07 Sep '12, 08:08) Jaianniah
showing 2 of 9 show 7 more comments

hey hey hey hey hey ,, can u call me please?? i would relay realy like to talk to u please,, ??? my phone number is ,, please call me now,, i felt compleed to get in, and there is a reason for this, please call now??or skype name treb_bor_yit-ne??? please, i would love to chat with u .


answered 05 Sep '12, 08:43

TReb%20Bor%20yit-NE's gravatar image

TReb Bor yit-NE

edited 05 Sep '12, 09:07


Rob, I'll get home in about an hour and half, max two. I'll install skype then :)

(05 Sep '12, 09:01) CalonLan

please, please do, than u so much for doing that, ill take my phone number down and keep up my skype adress, thank u so much

(05 Sep '12, 09:03) TReb Bor yit-NE

@CalonLan please leave me ur skype name in case i am off the computer and then i can add u so u can accept then just call, if u are ok with doing that u can erase it as soon as i add it

(05 Sep '12, 09:07) TReb Bor yit-NE

@CalonLan nvm lol, u said u had to install lol, srry

(05 Sep '12, 09:08) TReb Bor yit-NE

i will keep this page open untill i hear from u, i also an on oovoo which is free. let me know if u have any troubles getting it set up, and u have to remember ur skype name, it is how we add each other on contact list i await ur response my friend.

(05 Sep '12, 09:49) TReb Bor yit-NE

@CalonLan are u back yet? r u needing to still talk?

(05 Sep '12, 10:53) TReb Bor yit-NE
showing 2 of 6 show 4 more comments

CalonLon...- remember ur here for a reason, u hav ur personal destiny.., u hav unlimited power to change ur life at any point of life u want to.., u hav evrything inside u right become n do what u choose too, don't give up in between dear.., show the almighty,tht u are his best creation indeed,GOD has created each one ..for a particular purpose..,just try to discover tht purpose n start living again, its never too late to start again. do it.., do it..might be u can help someone in ur life..,to change there's. don't talk such things as dying n all.GOD has given us this wonderful life to live. n if u are HERE thn, teach n help others who are in need of u to how to live life which is full of life. lotts of love, light n blessings ur way dear...GOD BLESS YOU:)))


answered 05 Sep '12, 09:57

supergirl's gravatar image


Hi CalonLan,

Came here just now, if living or dying makes no difference then why not continue to live ? just be what you are. That which is real cannot die and that which can die never was real. If you want to die in an extraordinary way, well, what can I say, is not the ordinary infact the most extraordinary ? and extraorindary to whoom and for whoom ? Does not the orinary die everymoment to give birth to a newness everymoment ?

People hang on to life, so we will not let you go easily if you ask us, is that compassion or attachment I cannot answer. Individual physical life has to end some way but its best to let it happen naturally, do not interfere or try to make death spectacular ... yes live life fully and something unfolds and blossoms through when there is no clinging, then when its time to leave the physical body you will be smiling no matter what.

If I had a wish like you do calonLan, I would be very aware for you just might get it ! Wish you a joyful experience on the way, every experience is joyful if we create it joyfully lol.

See the experience of my accident here, I am still wondering if I created this !

All the best.


answered 06 Sep '12, 07:52

DesirelessAbundance's gravatar image


edited 06 Sep '12, 07:55

First of all I thank God this was just all a joke on us, I would hate to see anyone throw away their life and their eternity.

Now for this view from a Buddhist perspective of non-judgement and non-attachment. You are basically saying as I understand we shouldn't have given a rats patoot whether you killed your self or not, no big deal there are billions of people on this earth what is one less?

For me being a Christian I have compassion and see the value of everyone. Example: Nikulas he poured his heart out to you showing he did REALLY contemplate suicide and because he did not kill himself we are still blessed with his writing here. I thank God he is still with us, but with this cold non-judgemental non-attachment view it is not suppose to be a big deal one way or another no-one has any value. You are saying we shouldn't care maybe that is how the Buddha was but Jesus he cared and that is who I aspire to be like.


answered 06 Sep '12, 13:09

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, and it's all fair and square. There's no way of telling which is better or worse. Because all things are even. After all, all things are one. Planets die, stars go supernova, leafs fall in autumn time. We don't seem to miss them much and some of them were so much bigger than us humans. We don't care about dying stars, but would we care if the Sun was dying? Only if it meant, we die too. Otherwise it would be just another star to disappear...and we would say "there's billions.

(06 Sep '12, 13:24) CalonLan

...of them" :). You don't have to live in non-attachment way of living. The point is to be aware of attachment and it gives birth to suffering. Just like @Grace, you may not want to choose it, and you may choose to judge and attach yourself, but be aware for times you find yourself down and depressed, suffering, where it originated from. And as you are aware, you can let it go and free yourself of bad vibration. That's all there is to it. Regardless of what way to live you choose, it's alright.

(06 Sep '12, 13:27) CalonLan

But there is no love there. I thought the Buddha was a loving being, this shows me I was wrong. To you family, love and friendship must mean nothing to you one way or another you don't need or want love that much is obvious you just want Nirvana (Nothing, Emptiness, Void.) For me I'd far rather the supreme love of the Father God, but to each his own. If emptiness is your desire then that is what makes you happy.

(06 Sep '12, 13:46) Wade Casaldi

@Wade Casaldi, you are spot on in the most of your assessments. And as you say, to each his own. :) As you may know, love is only what we make it is and how we define it. There is no universal definition of love, maybe just the one majority of people would agree on. But love is expressed and experienced in many ways. There is plenty of love in emptiness of mind. In fact, there's a heart full of it. :)

(06 Sep '12, 14:08) CalonLan

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." clean the inside of the cup not just the is not what you put in your mouth that will defile you it is what comes out of it. why do you want to know they end?if you would have know the beguinning you would have know they end and not tasted death.

(06 Sep '12, 21:04) white tiger

Nobody drinks aged wine and immediately wants to drink young wine. Young wine is not poured into old wineskins, or they might break, and aged wine is not poured into a new wineskin, or it might spoil. be passer-bye and love each other in truth, be light and not darkness,do not cast stones and do not look at the pieces of wood in your brother eyes, rather lift that stones so you are not trap under it,and split that pieces of wood in discernement understanding in truth,to help your self and your

(06 Sep '12, 21:10) white tiger

brother,so let there be light, be the light that you can be experience and enjoy.

(06 Sep '12, 21:12) white tiger
showing 2 of 7 show 5 more comments

@CalonLan- Dear don't try to kill yourself.You may not need others but there are definitely people are there who need you.Try to find purpose of your life.Try to help others.Try to keep happy others.Try to make spiritual connection with God.And you will find true happiness.

Actually,when we crave for things,we run after things ,then at some point we lose interest in life.

The purpose of this life is not to run after material things for happiness.They cannot provide true happiness.

Only two things can give a guarantee for true happpiness
.First.Worshiping and remembrance of God.
Secondly. Serving others without any personal interest.

If you don't believe in God,then nothing can provide you true happiness and sense of fulfilment. All others are false methods.


answered 06 Sep '12, 03:07

Zee's gravatar image


edited 07 Sep '12, 02:51

ursixx's gravatar image


Many wise words @Zee

(07 Sep '12, 02:51) ursixx

Great words dear brother.

(07 Sep '12, 18:02) TReb Bor yit-NE

We die every night and awake free to live again every day. Each day when we wake, we take our thoughts and mold a new life from them.

Perhaps this post by @CaLonLan is metaphorical. That he is considering the death of the Ego.

Whatever it is intended to mean, we go on. We change form from physical to non-physical, and maybe back to physical again.

Maybe we "progress" as we learn the lessons of the physical. Maybe we regress. Maybe we have a "karmic burden" to "work" off. Some people believe that if we suicide, we must come back and re-live the situations again and again that caused us to seek solace in death.

Some people feel that when their time on earth has allowed them to develop to a certain point, they project out of the body and don't stop until the Silver Cord is broken, the body ceases to function. I had a Tibetan friend who did this. According to bystanders he sat down in a meditational position, closed his eyes and said, "Phut!" I wished Norbu, God Speed.

Almost did this myself, once, reached the end of the Silver Cord attaching me to this physical body and knew I could break it, but I had things yet to do on earth.

Whatever the reasons @CaLonLan has for these declarations, I respect them. If it is allegorical I respect his choice. If it is physical, that is also his choice.

In either event, he seems to have touched the Heart of the Universe, consciously, and I think this is a great thing. I see more love and joy in his post than pain and suffering.

I wish him Unity through Love.

God Speed, @CaLonLan and stay in touch!


answered 06 Sep '12, 06:09

Dollar%20Bill's gravatar image

Dollar Bill

edited 06 Sep '12, 10:51

@CalonLan How wonderful it is to know that the initial shock I felt when I read the heading was nothing to do with physical death but the death of the ego.

Be like melting snow, wash yourself of yourself...Rumi. Well if you tamed your ego than you have acheived this and all I can say is congratulations for you deserve it.


answered 06 Sep '12, 18:37

Paulina%201's gravatar image

Paulina 1

edited 06 Sep '12, 19:22

When we accept Jesus Christ as our personal Savior we die to the world and are reborn to Heaven. We know that the old us will die: the sinful self, all worries and fears die with that old self. We are born into peace, love and happiness; we no longer have to feel being alone or worry of dying, so all fears diminish.

However we do not carelessly announce to the world that we are going to kill ourselves. Maybe we could say, our Old selves or Worldly selves, but even still this would be confusing and cause many to think we mean physical suicide.

Furthermore there are many depressed individuals that may be on the verge of physical suicide that would take great offense and hurt at seeing such an announcement as "Today I die." except if it was followed with and something like "and I will be born again in Christ." Then it would be in the context and understood in the context it was meant to be understood in.

Today the old you died and the new you was born, good for you CalonLan! I do not know what you were reborn into but only you do. If this makes you happy, remember never to return to your old ways, and if you do you are digging up from the grave the old you. When you remember this you can say that is not me anymore I am beyond that self now, that self is dead to me.

I congratulate your choosing to undergo this initiation into a new life, I just wish you had been more considerate in how you worded it to your friends here. However that was the old you that wrote that maybe the new you would take more time in considering the possible ramifications on your readers.

Congratulations CalonLan Today You Live!


answered 08 Sep '12, 07:29

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

Click here to create a free account

If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website



Asked: 05 Sep '12, 08:37

Seen: 2,706 times

Last updated: 08 Apr '13, 13:25

Follow this question

By Email:

Once you sign in you will be able to subscribe for any updates here



Answers and Comments

Markdown Basics

  • *italic* or _italic_
  • **bold** or __bold__
  • link:[text]( "title")
  • image?![alt text](/path/img.jpg "title")
  • numbered list: 1. Foo 2. Bar
  • to add a line break simply add two spaces to where you would like the new line to be.
  • basic HTML tags are also supported

Related Questions