Initially, I was very frightened by CanlonLan's post. Were you?
It seems that we all learned some valuable lessons from his post, especially how much we care about each other!
Another point is evident: we are a very forgiving community.
What did you bring away from these past days after his post? I am hoping that we can see the good both in the experience and in our community, and move towards making this a learning and healing experience.
I learned that i am able to reach out to people with no hesitation, which i already knew but needed reminding lol. I also learned how assuming ones words and actions can be devastating to the relationship. The fear we all have of loss can effect us very badly as well.
love n light
answered 08 Sep '12, 15:55
TReb Bor yit-NE
I learned that a very worthwhile person can have an episode that puts him in a different world for a while. We are not our episodes. We are much more than that.
answered 09 Sep '12, 20:37
Years ago I heard a "Thought for the Day" broadcast on the radio and it affected me deeply.
At the time there were many reports in the press of gangs of beggars (pan handlers on your side of the pond) "working" the London underground and pretending to be disabled, destitute, hungry and making a tidy living out of it.
Many Londoners had become hardened to this begging and the advice, I think, was not to encourage it by giving money. I had gone along with this and pretended to be reading my magazine or whatever when they appeared.
The "thought" on this programme was that it was better to give to a thousand bogus beggars than to turn your back on the one person in genuine need.
It stayed with me and if anyone appears to be dire circumstances and comes asking for my help, I try to give it because sometimes, from the safety of the shoreline, it is difficult to tell if someone is waving or drowning.
I don't think any of us can say with 100% certainty whether Calonlan was waving or drowning - only CalonLan.
If he was waving - maybe it was something that got out of hand, he didn't get the reaction he thought he was going to get, he was bored etc etc. Maybe he intended to do me a service by "waking me up". You got me CalonLan but that's OKay. I know I misjudge situations all the time or sometimes things don't pan out the way I intended.
If he was/is drowning - my hand is still held out for you.
All I know is that if I read a similar question as soon as right now, I would try to offer words of hope and comfort ... and I love the way others on this forum reached out to Calonlan when they thought he needed it.
If I had one regret it would be that in the moment that I thought he was asking for help - my British reserve got the better of me - remaining in my head rather than moving to my heart and I noted some others were much more able than I to reach out without reserve. I was genuinely touched by the way many reached out to him.
Next time I intend to reach out without reservation. So CalonLan you've done me a service - you've woken me up but not to a life without attachments but one where people operate more from their heart and less from their head.
I hope he hasn't left the site as Stingray says. We all gained I believe from this in our own ways. Trials and test build us and make us better people as we learn from them. We all make mistakes and learn in our own ways from those. I sincerely hope he has learned from this as I have. Forgiveness is most important for all, it frees us and leads us to learning from the trial.
One thing is we need to be quicker to pray for those that hurt us and forgive sooner as well. When we feel hurt by someone and pray for them we are released from that pain. Once I reached that point of praying for and forgiving I even congratulated him on being born again, I guess a born again Buddhist maybe? Anyway it does take a lot to say death to my old self so I can raise up born anew as a new being. Not just say it but live it from that moment onwards. so his courage in taking that step is congratulated as well.
I think compassion and not letting trials harden our hearts to others is important as well that we never let that "Cry Wolf" syndrome stop us even if we are tricked a thousand times. That thousand and one time may be the time someone really needs the compassion and help.
Never stop forgiving and throw all grudges to the foot of the cross, love and peace are the constant.
Edit added more 9-8-12
I have turned this over to God to reveal the lessons he had in this for me to learn, here is what came to me.
We unknowingly help many many people every day on here without so much as a Thank You. They search the web, find here, get their answers and leave. Now there is a difference between appreciation and an outward display of appreciation. The words Thank You are outward displays of appreciation.
Just because the outward display of appreciation is missing does not diminish the value of the information nor the poster. We need to think am I doing this because I care or because I want to hear the words "Thank You?"
As we grow up we are taught to always say thank you and feel good when we are thanked, so this becomes an expectancy that when we do something we will be thanked. To be thanked is an acknowledgement, appreciation and honor. But we must ask what part of me wants to be honored, respected, acknowledged and appreciated? Is this the divine in me or something much lower or worldly part of ourselves?
It is not God's work if we get upset over lack of gratitude, this is not the reason why we help. We help because of friendship, we care, we are compassionate. We want to do God's work in the world because we love God and everyone on earth.
We need to understand if our post is not appreciated by the one we are responding to that it does not diminish it and many others may find it helpful. It is not God through us if we need to be appreciated but ego in us if we need to be appreciated.
Lastly if it wasn't for the original question these teachings would have had to find another vehicle to teach us through. So for that CalonLan deserves our thanks for letting God use him to stir us to learning where we needed to grow.
If someone aggravates you, ask God, "What do I need to learn here?"
A man builds a center and makes his town happy and prosperous because he builds it. There is a plaque on the outside of the building with his name on it. Over the years his name wears off but the building stands. We must never lose sight of what is important the building or the plaque. If it is the plaque then he didn't need to build the building. He could have just had a plaque with his name nailed to some tree for everyone to say, "Who is that and why does he have a plaque?" Had he built that building even without a plaque of appreciation, his building would still have been appreciated for many decades.
Forget the thanks, do what is right anyway. :-)
OK, just typed up my answer and then wrote this over it. Got it off my chest without having to air it.
THT I am connected in love with everybody associated with InwardQuest. Let the Divine idea come out of this connection. THT I am connected in love with @CalonLan. THT Salute the Divinity in @CalonLan and send him love. THT