This is mainly a personal question but I hope sharing it can help others who might find an aspect of it for themselves- I really seem to have wedged myself into a hole.
A couple of years ago I moved to a really run down city and started a pet company located in a very specific part of town (i.e. location-dependent) I don't make alot of money- and am actually wayyyy below the poverty line and so my options for where I live are limited. I came out here to pursue my true passions but find my vibration lowered as I am dealing with slum lord landlords who dont return deposits or security, terrible roommates, no privacy and not getting my work done. I actually had some serious mental health issues resulting from it for a couple of years and its depleting my energy. But I am staying strong.
This week I finally found a studio apartment I might be able to afford but its in really bad condition and it would soak up all of my cash to move into it. I also don't know if I can trust that landlord either. I don't know how I got myself here, I'm educated, intelligent really creative and I should be having a higher vibration. My only thing is that I refuse to work for someone else as an employee- I LOVE owning my own business even if its sort of slow, it allows me time to take care of myself and my health And the only reason I started my business was because it gave me time to do what I love, which paradoxically isn't working out due to where I live I can't play music or paint and its really upsetting me. For some reason I haven't healed my belief that I can't do what I love for a living. I also came to this city to meet a few people and they both moved so that's not working out either... I try following my desires when I can but Its led me to this place (I had a desire to move here and I had a desire to start my company...) But maybe I came out here with the wrong beliefs.
So now there is the option of moving back in with my dad on the other side of the country which is much nicer with the understanding that I can remodel the downstairs and rent it out to someone else in order for me to live somewhere else while I figure out whats happening and take some time out to figure out something new to do. My dad has been convincing me to move home "for my own wellbeing" But I really know its because he has no friends or life and LOTS of health problems. He abused me emotionally as a kid and has narcisstic personality disorder which really wants me to avoid him at all costs. No one else in my family talks to him if they can help it and I try to uphold the same but my sister nor my mom will let me stay with them. So while he sounds very loving on the phone about me being in a better envrionment and our house would be a good place to escape the city where I am currently at and help me take care of my well being its also just another form of a nightmare as I can't tell if he is "saying all the right things" to manipulate me to "take care of him" and attend to all his needs, which caused me lots of problems growing up. I would have to be around him which I want to avoid at all costs and while I am in my own power somewhat where I am presently, even though any day my business could go down and I would have to move home by default. My perception is very limited now. I have lived in the basement before and I would have a higher vibration than I do now here in the city, but I would also be dependent on finding someone to rent his property in order for me to have my own privacy.
Where I currently live I have no privacy.
If I decide to move back home it would be a bad decision to go ahead and rent this studio in the city and then have to move once again. I have moved four times the last year and 16 times the last 5 years. I really just want a home for once but I got to get to a place where I feel ok. I just don't know if going home is giving up or going backwards, I can't seem to think straight currently. Any advice is greatly appreciated, I have so much potential to give back in this world I just don't think its right that "I can't figure it out". I refuse to compensate or lower my desires, even at the expense of everything else. I'm putting out the intention to have a plan soon.
Thanks and love
`` i stayed away from home, having no privacy, few friends, was happy but not so much as i am today..., so, i made a decision ...i moved back to my home.., i have a dad who is now "excellent dad in the world ,i would say..n mom ..she is super-dupper awesome.."..,but its present situation i am telling u..,
but about an year ago..,my dad was realy critical to deal with, same like you dad..,no one talked to my dad..,me n my dad's relationship was realy bad..,we didn't talked for months with each other.., but then..i thought its of no use in running from the problem, instead face it n change it. after all we have the power to change our circumstances.
here, along with my dad..,i have a relative n evn she is critical like him..,so..if i had to move home back ..-i had to deal with too critical family memebers. its my mom who has always been good to me but,sometimes she too gets annoyed. but..about an year ago-i made a decision that i have to change this no matter what, i am not going to run away,i m gonna face it. so,i moved home.
i took it as a challenge to change my circumstances. so..i practised LOA a lot, i did all i could do to be positive, i meditated,i practised gratitude,visualization..everything...
n now i l tell you the results...- just in a month i started seeing the awesome results. my dad n my relationship improved a lot. even,he himself changed cos what he needed all of his life was simply...LOVE..LOVE..N LOVE...,COMPASION.,.ATTENSION , which i gave him.now, not only me but, each n everyone talks to him n he is completely improved without any medication.
the best thing i l tell u..is "USE POSITIVE ASPECTS..", the people which i found difficult to deal with i practised this..,i wrote positive aspects of them..,though in the beginning its difficult to write positive about such people but, with practise u can make it also possible..cos u know every person has atleast one positive aspect of their personality. u must be knowing that "a single positive thought is very strong against million negative thoughts. n if u keep in mind that odd person's even a single positive aspect for the whole day in ur mind..he is sure to change towards you..positively.
today- i tell u..i feel that i am the most happiest n most luckiest person on the whole planet earth. i n my dad..,we are best friends now n our relationship is getting stronger day by day. he shares with me everything. we laugh together,he even cracks jokes, we prepare our dinner's together on holidays n he alwayz stands by my side when ever i need him..that too guaranted. even people around us says-he is so changed,doesn't seems to be the same person we used to know a year before. we both take care of my mom together.now he is indeed more fallen in love with my mom..just cos she has even,started giving him more n more love ..than she used to give a year ago.my mom is also happy all the time now . we all are damn happy together.i feel so blessed to have such wonderful parents n family.
u see...LOVE IS THE ANSWER OF EVERY PROBLEM...", give love more than hatred n complaints n i guarantee u that u will definately receive nothing but simply...LOVE,LOVE N LOVE.
so,don't run away , face them, instead of moving from here n there..., relax urself,meditate n ask ur higher self which is the best place for me to get settled. n u l get all the answers., or my suggestion would be..if ur parents are settled at good place..why don't u thnk to start ur work there..its good when u have ur family n work at the same place..,family is a great support to you..
i hope my answer helps you..,n remember dear..we are gifted by God with such an incredible mind,that has all the powers to win over any sort of circumstance,,the only condition is..., u should know how TO PLAY WITH THIS TOY (MIND POWERS) .use that Godly Gift within u properly.i hope ur issues get solved as soon as possible. i l pray for u...n may u live with peace, love n happiness.
love,light n blessings ur way..kanda
answered 24 Nov '12, 03:32
too many variables by your intellect,
answered 23 Nov '12, 17:50
well from what i read your main concern is finding a place,each place you go is not the right place,bad landlord bad room mate your father want to help you and it is not the right place,because you still have stuff to fix in that relation ship. and probably in the other relationship as well. and since your sister and mother do not want to have you with them it might be the same there again. maybe the point of all this is to stop running away and solve what needs to be solved. yes those people might have problem and are not perfect but no one is. if you are looking for perfection it does not exist in this world of duality,it is still a work in progress. as for helping your father it is only normal did he not pay for you when you where a kid? did he not put a roof on your head? did he not pay you some stuff? and give you a hand? you will eventually be in the same position that your father is in right now. put your self in is shoe, would you take it if your son would say this?My dad has been convincing me to move home "for my own wellbeing" But I really know its because he has no friends or life and LOTS of health problems. He abused me emotionally as a kid and has narcisstic personality disorder which really wants me to avoid him at all costs. No one else in my family talks to him if they can help it and I try to uphold the same but my sister nor my mom will let me stay with them. if your father has problem to fix help him if you can. maybe you both are ready to have a good talk and solve problem in your relationship? he as made the offer to help you i think it is a step in the right direction now it is your turn. the ball is in your camp. yes i know you want privacy,individuality,freedom etc.... you can still have all of those with who ever you are staying. talk put your limit explain to the person why it is not working and find a common ground,so it will work for both of you. has for the business you said it your self it is going to die soon. so onlest you have something to try to turn that around you know what will happen. so did it solve many variables? will also say this if it might help you in your life. he who does not honour the son does not honour the father, and he who does not honour the father does not honour the son. know the truth and it will set you free.has for the place that you need to stay in first is in you.if there is conflict and unsolved thing in you where ever you go the same will be there.if you can solve conflict in you you can also solve conflict outside of you. why do you wash the outside of the cup? do you not know that the one that made the inside is also the one that made the outside? so let there be light,Be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.
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