I've expressed the same views as Snow & Dragonflybreeze have on this site several times. It's always wise to do everything from a place of self love; but you can still love unconditionally even if your don't. Do you know any narcissists? Most are incapable of loving others & they surely 'love' themselves.
How do you love unconditionally? First let's define what it means to love unconditionally. It means to love another for who they are without any expectations or limitations; wanting only the best for another without expecting anything in return.
The only way you can love unconditionally is by letting go of the ego & dropping judgments. Read the Power of Now. I would also advise getting intimate with your emotions & learning to trust the Universe (God if you prefer). Trust allows you to give & to give without limitations, judgments or expectations. In my opinion happiness is more empowering than self love in creating the energy of unconditional love. Create happiness & unconditional love will flow from there.
Some people are natural care givers. Empathy comes naturally to many & develops fully over time. Perhaps it's a bit easier for women, not that men can't because they do & are. Perhaps it's partly due to your DNA or it's due to nurture, same as compassion & empathy which both come from a place in the heart through the energy of love. I think unconditional love & empathy & compassion are synonymous & the energy of Love is active & not passive. Can you teach compassion or empathy (unconditional love)? I see ad's on TV for Catholic colleges of nursing making this claim. It's certainly possible if one has the desire to learn. Usually this develops through experience & one usually learns by example from their parents & environment as they grow. A major reason to get a pet for children in to teach unconditional love & compassion. I've always found this concept fascinating & I tend to observe this type behavior in real life.
I know I've fallen totally in love with so many little people & I've certainly felt unconditional love when holding a baby & imagination allows me to create that feeling & vibration any time I desire. I did this even when I wasn't in love with myself because I expected nothing in return.
Again, the only way you can love unconditionally is by letting go of the ego.
All love is unconditional love.** If you put conditions on love; it's not love.
"How can I love selflessly and unconditionally?"
The question itself has the answer. No-one can love unconditionally until they truly love themselves. To try to love another without loving oneself completely will always leave one looking for the other to fulfill or gratify self serving expectations.
When we can truly love ourselves, as an aspect of the Source or Evolutionary impulse that drives this Universe, there is no expectation or dependency and the love we have to offer comes from our own place of fulfillment...and thus is completely unconditional with no wanting or needing required :)
answered 14 Apr '13, 18:50
You can............. but remember to always Love yourself first and do not let others take advantage of that... :)
answered 11 Apr '13, 21:02
About 3-4 weeks ago, I thought I had finally cracked the manifesting code (again) with success in attracting a partner.
Attracting a romantic partner is actually very easy. Sex, courtship, dating can literally be manfifested in as easy as a few clicks away on the internet. Even attracting the tools to mould yourself into a person who can easily attract the opposite sex is not very hard.
That doesn't sound like the usual old lovey dovey Nikulas. Sorry, let me re-phrase that.
The trick is attracting a partner who is loving themselves first and foremost; and then magnitising them into your life whereas they serve to be a reflection of your love of yourself.
Despite that there are many sources available that seemingly prescribe a "check list" of things to do to love yourself unconditionally (and even though the authors may have good intentions), I am yet to have the confidence of recommending any particular book, article or video that will simply give you the asnwers.
It is one of those things that does come with experience and time. That does not sound very comforting and helpful, and if I read that I would love to punch the author in the face.
My view is this: it is being comfortable who you are, it is about quite literally being yourself and knowing you are worthy of everything.
If someone tells you that you are not worthy, or "Don't expect things to go well in such and such..." literally turn around 180* and consider them crazy.
The thing is, eventually you get really tired of basing your life upon whether someone ignores you, accepts you are rejects you. I personally (being a sensitive person as well) would get extremely heartbroken when a girl I liked ignored me, but up until I discovered there is nothing wrong with me, that I am cool the way I am, that I am worthy of love the way I am, that there is a reflection out there that loves me for being me (disguised as love for yourself).....eventually you do love yourself, and you discover how good it feels and realise you won't ever return to the games of judging the way you feel based on how others view you.
Another insightful question you should ask me is, "Nikulas, why then do people choose to play that game?" Why do they choose to base their love on anothers opinions? Because it does, at times, bring results. Someone falls in love with you, and it's all amazing and romantic (best feelings that exist), and then they stop loving you, and you get hurt. You feel rejected, worthless and want to die, but this won't ever happen if you initially love yourself first, believe me on that. You won't get attached.
Old IQ users will be able to back up that I came on IQ originally to learn how to attract love. I hope I am able to help you out in this endevour. Ricky martin certainly was able to make a nice difference on my life through his story:
Just an initial update...Ricky Martin nails is beautifully when he says that the entire process of loving yourself cannot be forced upon. You will love yourself when you are ready, if you hate yourself right now then I wouldn't force yourself to be the opposite...Love comes naturally and effortlessly, when you are ready you will come out in love and it feels fantastic. I am proof of that, and though I'd love a one and only woman/ reflection, it doesn't bother me that I am yet to kiss a woman.
Loving unconditionally means that you love someone. When we put conditions on it like, "I love you because you are beautiful," or "I love you because you are nice to me," or "I love you because you do what I want you to do," but as soon as the condition changes, the love retracts. Most parents love their children unconditionally. They might get mad at the child or discipline the child, but they love them unconditionally.
So how do you define love? I define love as wanting good things for the other. Whom are you wanting to love unconditionally? Friends? Family? Lovers? Everyone? The guy who cuts you off in traffic?
One way to love unconditionally is to pray for those who hurt you, your enemies, who make you mad, etc... For example, if you are driving on the road and another car cuts right in front of you, you can yell at them and curse them or do nothing or you can pray for them and bless them. Praying for them and blessing them would be loving them unconditionally. In this way, if you keep in mind that most people who behave hurtfully toward others, are really in pain themselves. They don't behave that way from a place of peace, love, joy, they are hurting, suffering of some kind. So bless them and pray that they find peace and love and joy of in their heart. Do this any time you feel negatively toward another person.
Also, you can perform random acts of kindness where ever you go. You don't have to look for people who are misserable if you don't want to attract them into your life, just spread joy and cheer where ever you go.
You can also pray every time you hear an emergency vehicle. Pray that the people that are in need of emergency services. Send them love and blessings. Pray for the homeless or downtrodden people you see on the streets. Pray for the grouchy cashier. Pray for the rich people to find true peace. Whatever disturbs you in your day, pray and send love and blessings.
"how can i condition my mind to achieve that state of 'giving selfless love'?"
Unconditional love does not come from the mind/ego.. it's a feeling.. and I do know how you can get there.. but I'm gonna assume you don't really wanna..
I'm gonna provide this transcript from a bashar session.. which explains clearly and well.. how to be in unconditional love for the mind ;)
from "9 levels of consciousness"
Okay this is track 4 (61:22) starts about 32:30
Q: I have another question this is about my brother
Q: Umm, since I've know him my whole life he's always had a very negative presence
Q: Umm, as a child he described himself as a "dark spirit"
B: Ohh, sounds exciting!
Q: He was the word I would say is "troubled" and I'm very worried about him.. currently he's having a really hard time experiencing extreme paranoia
B: Well, that's no surprise is it?
Q: What can I do to help him?
B: Do you love him unconditionally?
Q: Yes, even if I find it strange.. I do want him to be well..
Q: Ohh, yes
B: meaning you accept him as he's chosen to be..??
B: that you accept what he's chosen to explore?? you can always offer that there are other ways to define things, to label things, other ways to experience things, other ways to have a relationship with things.. that he can different meanings to things
However, if he has chosen to explore the idea of negative energy in this way.. then that may simply be what the spirit has chosen to explore for a variety of reasons not the least of which may be to aid and assist you in choosing the opposite
Q: Wow okay
B: Sometimes individuals will explore very dark corners, very strongly because they have a variety of reasons for doing so that are not necessarily just limited to them sometimes their a great teaching tools for others
But at the same time he may be exploring these things shall we say.. euphemistically to get it all out of his system very rapidly
Q: Okay, good
B: Because again this may be a expression of what we call the "rubber band analogy" the farther back you pull a rubber band when you finally let go the faster and farther it will fly in the other direction.. likewise when individuals on your planet seek to explore darkness and to such a great degree of limitation
When they finally decide to let go the degree of darkness they've explored will actually allow them to shoot into the light that much farther, that much faster.. so he may be getting it all out of his system very rapidly.. that doesn't mean necessarily it has to end or change in this lifetime.. do you understand?
But it could.. and if you simply accept him as he's chosen to be.. and let him know he is unconditionally loved no matter what choices he has made for himself energetically.. then you offer him at least the opportunity to choose something else that you may suggest to him without needing him to choose it.. let him know that you don't need him choose anything you suggest, love him unconditionally no matter what he chooses and by doing it that way you afford him the greatest opportunity to at least consider choosing something that your offering him.. but he doesn't have to.
B: You have to be as unconditionally loving on your side as he is being unconditionally negative on his
answered 05 Dec '13, 17:22
Pretend you are a dog. They know how to love unconditionally. And they know how to exist in the moment, thereby easily expressing that love without asking for anything in return. Maybe a cookie, but they will love you anyway.
answered 05 Dec '13, 12:18
Okay. Everyone is talking about "selfless love". That's fine.
But that is not unconditional love, which doesn't exist. Because it assume there is no reason or condition for such love. If there is no reason/condition/cause then it doesn't happen. For nothing comes out of nothing. Thus you would not even think of such thing.
The very reason you are thinking of something like unconditional love is conditioned by thoughts which you perhaps do not, or wish not, or want not, or are not able to recognize and/or would like to ignore in your oblivious state of wishful thinking to preserve the idea of unconditional love. (Maybe cause it sounds better, and you would feel better giving unconditional love rather than just love). Is your love not good enough that you need to have unconditional one?
Perhaps deep down you want the world to be a better place or you want to spread love. That itself is condition, which defies the idea of unconditional love.
Merely re-wording the label - from unconditional to of no reason - shows it can't find its place in the world of cause and consequence. Where there is reason for everything. Thus all is destined, there is no luck, no love, no chance, no choice. And these are simply labels, all of which are constructs of feeble human intellect exploiting its inability to grasp onto reality of interconnection of things in the cosmos.
This answer is marked "community wiki".
YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN: Love selflessly and unconditionally.
The key to doing this is learning how to love. True love is all that you mentioned and yet comes from a place of honesty within. To love another you must first love yourself and be your own self fulfilling love source. Then you can be honest with others you love and completely fulfilled without the need to seek out anything from others.
Mind should not be the master, but a tool. Love from the heart and the mind will follow.
answered 29 Apr '13, 00:32
L- learn to accept everyone and everything as they are
O- open your heart fully
V- victory over ego (soften judgments completely)
E- extract all expectations
Add with a sprinkle of compassion and you are well on your way. Sending you lots of unconditional love now, and in every moment there after Be well and enjoy your loving journey :o)
answered 29 Apr '13, 08:45
Yes it is possible, God loves us this way. God sent Jesus to die and go to Hell for us.
God doesn't want us in Hell so he decided to stand in for us himself. That is his gift offered to us. Furthermore he wanted us to have back everything he gave Adam and Eve. His full authority, power and command! All of this he did for us because of that unconditional love for us. It is his gift waiting there for us, much like if we were running a race and as we ran by God is holding out a bottle of cool refreshing water for us. It is there in his hand just waiting for us as we run by.
This same love we see demonstrated in humanity to a lesser degree in volunteers that help people with free food. The gift is there, they are working hard and people come in and get their free food. Free help also, many people do very much free and without even a thank you many times because they work behind the scenes putting the boxes in the back getting them opened for the volunteers up front.
There are many that anonymously do good things for strangers, not for any reward or recognition but just for the love of humanity.
it's your individual
answered 05 Dec '13, 19:32
Anything we do based on our thinking and our emotions. Whether we did something because of someone else, but eventually we did
An understanding that we couldn't stay away from selfish, this doesn't mean there is something bad on our behavior (attitude, personality or similar to these). But seeing selfishness as a good behavior must be viewed from different direction.
There is no way for us to understand completely (essentially) selfless except by understanding that completely selfless must assert "no connection to our thinking and our emotions".
Essentially (without our consciousness):
Practically (with our consciousness):
We do something for our happiness. This happiness may be in line with (or against) our ethics and moral (for some religions). Happiness has levels, but essentially to get satisfaction (whether it's bad or good).
We can do evil and we will get happiness. We can do good and we will get happiness. But both have differences.
The points are:
Is it possible to be truly selfless?
However we throw "our needs to be rewarded" away from ourselves, but still we can't throw our ego fully, in the sense that there is a little bit linking, addressing, our love to another thing for a reward.
When you give to others you feel Valued, you feel Important, you feel like a Good Person bringing happiness to others.
Jesus Christ said "It is better to give than to receive", believe in this and be happy and we will transform the world.
Thought, Emotion, and Action goes together. They are ONE.
answered 20 Dec '13, 18:40
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