Everyone can relate to having things done and said which they would like to undo. Similarly we all experience the reverse, moments and thoughts left undone or unsaid which have come and passed already.

For me personally, being ultra-critical of my own behavior has lead me to much too often err on the side of caution, letting an opportunity pass me by because the reward isn't worth the wager of the risk. More often than not my judgement will tell me at the time, this is only what you want because of impulse and you'll think better of it in a moment, this is what you want to imagine doing but not actually do, this is what you should do according to some personal or societal standard, and these are the things you wont do because they're nonsensical or counter-intuitive.

As a general rule, when I believe I'll regret not doing something in the moment hindsight ends up reinforcing that thought. Despite this, every once in awhile (generally on or near a full moon, by the way) I will rethink my impulse to do [or not do] something despite preferring the idea of not doing it as long as my judgement doesn't have any major red flags. This generally works out for the better more often than not, in the case of doing because usually my inhibitions are simple and pertaining to unfounded paranoia, in the case of not-doing because I have a whole lot of bad ideas which have no business being pursued. This tells me I need to work on being less concerned, paranoid, and scared; and keep myself more grounded in reality. It isn't logical to begin with, but at the time delusional paranoia has a way of making its arguments sound very convincing.

Now that's fine and I have an area to work on but here is the topic of my question: Sometimes the aforementioned type of scenario arise, but all of my judgement screams against it. My better judgement, logical, illogical, even straight up delusional all says run. Despite all of this, I sometimes find myself walking in the direction of the to-be-avoided topic. (Or in the case of the reverse, walking away from something which seems like an amazing opportunity I'd have to be a fool to pass up.) Ignoring every conscious thought, I'll pursue obscure objectives which my mind tells me is risky or dangerous or simply pointless.

Many of these situations simply end with nothing happening at all, no good no bad. Perhaps I unwittingly avoided a bad situation that'll I'll now never be aware of, who knows. But on a few occasions I have found myself in extremely random and unlikely scenario which could not have unfolded in any other way and end up dramatically changing my life, or I end up avoiding an otherwise unforeseeable undesired event. It's these events which has lead me to on occasion ignore my judgement and behave in a way which is completely nonsensical to everyone and myself.

I know there is likely no absolute answer to this question, more-so looking perhaps for methods people use to decide in similar situations, insight into the mechanisms behind this phenomenon and/or how to refine it, insight into why my judgement would be trying to work against me and prevent me from doing something which ends up being beneficial, etc. The latter most in particular is my point of interest, because it seems like self sabotage however my judgement's entire purpose is to preserve my wellbeing and protect me, which generally it does decently.

asked 23 Jul '13, 10:57

Snow's gravatar image


If you have to talk yourself into something then don't do it!

If you need not do this then go ahead.

Also remember that any wrong turn isn't the end of the world. The pendulums of this world make you believe theres one right way and hundreds of wrong ones.

Make a belief system where every choice will be bound to lead to good. Even if you take a seeming wrong turn this could fast track you to a great turn of events.

Your in a maze.........with thousands of ways out!


answered 25 Jul '13, 02:35

Monty%20Riviera's gravatar image

Monty Riviera

"Your in a maze.........with thousands of ways out!" Love that!

(05 Aug '13, 05:05) ele

Just to add to this, we often think the fastest way from A to B is in a straight line. What if going from A to C to G, then to B is actually the fastest way? Maybe the route you didn't think would lead you to the right place was the only way around the broken bridge of the straight line.

(06 Aug '13, 14:18) Symbiotx

I would say, "Go with your gut."

I'd like to offer a bit of advice Abraham gave: Guest: I kind of promised I wouldn’t ask this question. (I’ve mentioned it to people and they said, “Oh, don’t.”) But, this is a quick one: Why do dogs risk getting bugs in their eyes by sticking their heads out of car windows?

Abraham: Well, tell your friends that you have given us an opportunity to give the answer we have been waiting a very long time to give. And that is, because the contrast of the bugs in the eyes is a small price to pay for the exhilaration of that ride. And it is exactly the same way you felt when you made the decision to come into this physical existence. You knew there would be contrast here, but you said, the ride is going to be worth it!

Excerpted from the workshop in San Francisco, CA on Saturday, July 30th, 2005


answered 25 Jul '13, 20:39

Beach%20Baby's gravatar image

Beach Baby

part of your quest is finding
what perceptions are pure and
what takes one backwards
your true guide is wisdom


answered 24 Jul '13, 17:16

fred's gravatar image


It sounds like you are doing a good job. As the Bible says the heart is not to be trusted, check everything to make sure it is good and true.

You are presently doing just that, you are not just letting impulse lead you like a lot of people that are in jail or prison do. Example, "I don't believe this guy just cut me off!" you follow him until he stops and you take a crowbar to his hood! That will show him not to cut you off. "Oops wait he called the police! I should have thought this through!"

Proverbs 28:26 - He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.

Jeremiah 17:9 - The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Matthew 15:19 - For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies:

Check for Red flags before acting out on impulses.


answered 24 Jul '13, 21:10

Wade%20Casaldi's gravatar image

Wade Casaldi

edited 25 Jul '13, 00:57

"The human mind is more deceitful than anything else. It is incurably bad. Who can understand it? "

~ Jeremiah/17:9 Net bible



Try thinking with your heart - heart doesn't lie - tis the seat of the soul & perhaps where our higher consciousness resides..

(05 Aug '13, 17:07) ele

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding"

If you cannot trust your heart & you believe it is deceitful & wicked - how can you trust God or yourself @Wade?

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" Proverbs 23:7

(05 Aug '13, 17:29) ele

@ele Actually what I am talking about is temperance. It is really a right brain/ left brain thing. Both are used together we don't trust one over the other. I can have an idea to build something. But I need to feel it out if it feels right. Likewise I could feel like building something but I need to know how to do so. Temperance is the key here to success. I believe that was what the Bible was really trying to point out.

(06 Aug '13, 13:05) Wade Casaldi

responsibility for actions may try to discern from where the impulse comes and what part of me seems most taken, then does it sit right with all

(06 Aug '13, 19:41) fred
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Asked: 23 Jul '13, 10:57

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Last updated: 06 Aug '13, 19:41

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