Hi. I've been dreaming about a girl 3 times in the same night. 1st dream ended, woke up, fell asleep, 2nd dream began, 2nd dream ended, woke up, fell asleep, 3rd dream started, 3rd dream ended, woke up.
Here's a little backstory just in case it helps.
Okay so I was going through a lot 3 years ago and she helps me out emotionally. Eventually I thought she was purposely trying to hurt me so I decided to hurt her (but not as bad) emotionally. After that big mess, I realized she WASN'T. I felt really bad it bugged me for months. Eventually I talked to her and she asked if I did (something to get back at her) and without thinking, I said yes. That began the "hate cycle".
2nd year, we were enemies. But I tried 100% to make things right but she just ignored me. The guilt eventually went away because I realized I did everything I possibly could. So I left it at that.
3rd year we started talking (I forget how but it was on facebook) and she said she was sorry. In MY mind I was mad at her because she refused my appology and made me feel 100% worthless. Everytime I tryed to make things right she brushed it off and ignored me. I couldn't forgive her because shes holding me to something that happened 3 years ago. I was in gr 8 and we are in gr 10 now. You mature in that timespan. She got mad once I said I couldn't forgive her because It is her who has to forgive me. While that is true, both sides have to forgive each other not just one.
So, she blocked me. I spammed her number (assuming I was blocked on texting too) and eventually she replied. She said to stop or she will call the cops. So, I left her alone because right at that point I realized that worrying about her is USELESS. I removed her from my life 100% at the end of year 2 so I had no problem doing so again.
3-5 months later I get this dream. I USED TO like her back in grade 8 if that matters. I never think of her in fact she never even crosses my mind.
SOOOOOOO now to describe the dream.
We were at elementary school and on each dream I was near her and I was with my friends. The dreams were lucid and I had full knowledge of the current situation with her. She interacted with my friends and I joined in a little for the 2 dreams. It was a lot of fun actually more fun then I've ever had in my life. 3rd dream we are all in class and it seemed I was in highschool just like my buddies and her but we all got demoted to grade 8. So, I didn't act as happy and when she cracked a joke I just put on a fake smile and yeah. I talked to my teachers and it was sooo similar to a real life event. Thank god for lucid dreams eh?
So... what do these dreams mean?
EDIT: I was thinking about her before I fell asleep.
Dreams generally reflect your state of mind on this issue / person and only you can assess it effectively. Dreams point to a timeline you're walking with regards to this issue that can be changed when you realize it and change your focus / thinking. A good indicator is the feeling of the dream but exact meanings are best understood by you. I'd say it's just telling you that you're tolerating something or suppressing something i.e. putting on a facade of some sorts with regards to her and living in the past a bit (: demotion to grade 8 :). You are the best judge though.
answered 11 Jan '15, 06:40
well it seams you have a conflict not resolved with her. you also have some emotion deep down that you did bad at first and it could have been good. and now you dream in the past tense of what could have been.
what does it mean according to you?
that you have some issue not solved in you. like some regrets of what could have been. you have acted stupid now in response she as acted stupid. and now you still booth act stupid to not be the stupid or guilty party. the children still need to grow and move out of grade 8.
you are judging her as a joke and your self as a fake smile. the question is does the joke deserve the fake smile, and does the fake smile deserve the joke?
know thy self and reform thy self.
and since you are thinking of her before you go to sleep it is not hard to figure that you will dream of her. since the mind goes where the heart is.
Let there be light, be the light that you can be, experience and enjoy.
Dreaming about a girl 3 times in the same night. 1st dream ended, woke up, fell asleep, 2nd dream began, 2nd dream ended, woke up, fell asleep, 3rd dream started, 3rd dream ended, woke up.
Your dream, in my opinion, isn't so much about the content other than the fact that she is over you and happy to move on with her life, where as you are still trying to relate to her from the perspective of an 8th grader (you are being demoted to the eight grade). In essence, the message here is that you have not actually matured as much as you may think.
"I was in gr 8 and we are in gr 10 now. You mature in that time span". You should not let this upset you in at all. No intelligent person would expect a 10th grade student to be emotionally mature. Be patient with yourself. Emotional maturity takes years to develop, some people never actually do. Your experience with this girl is just the beginning of a long process ahead of you. Let this experience teach you what it can so that it will help you to deal with the next one. The fact that you are exploring the details of your relationship is a positive sign. The significant aspect of this dream is to be found in the way you have structured it. First, it is a lucid dream. This can be a way of saying to your self, it is important for me to have a "clear" understanding of what this dream is telling me. That is: I have been dealing with this girl issue for three years (three dream segments).
The first year I should have "woken up" to the fact that I ruined the relationship. When she was trying to be there for me emotionally (something an 8th grader is not really able to do) and I thought she was out to hurt me, Which I later realized she wasn't, but not before I decided to hurt her back but not as much as she hurt me! (More on this later)
Rather than waking up to, the fact that you messed up, you instead chose to take it into year two (2nd dream segment) and a "cycle of hate". That should have again "woken" you up to the fact that the relationship with this girl was over. Period. This was emphasized in the dream experience of waking up a second time.
Now your into a third year and still haven't come to terms with what is essentially having a difficult time dealing with rejection. Welcome to one of the most popular clubs in the world, for men and women alike. Just about everyone you know or will ever know will be challenged by the experience of being rejected for whatever reason. Being rejected is one of the means we use to "reality check" our feeling of self worth. If being rejected causes us to get depressed, angry, resentful, revengeful, hateful or other negative response that affects our self esteem, this is generally an indication of low self worth. This can appear outwardly as a bad attitude and lead to anti-social behavior such as stalking in both the real world and virtually on the internet ("spamming").
A person who recognizes, and has a sense of their self worth, will respond to rejection in a much different way. They know that they are valuable, deserving and worthy (as you are) and they will see rejection as a positive thing, something to be grateful for. "Thank you for rejecting me and allowing me the freedom to seek out someone who will recognize my great worth. Tell yourself: "When someone rejects me it is because it is their job to steer me in the direction of the true and everlasting love that I prefer" Thank them for their time and move on. You might even make some real friends along the way.
The question this dream is trying to get you to ask is: Am I ready to "wake up" and let go of this girl. There is nothing that either of you need to forgive. You were both doing what teenagers do. That is how you learn about life. It is all part of the process of maturing, growing, and finding your sense of self worth and your own unique place in the world around you. Being open and honest in all your relationships to whatever extent, you are comfortable can go a long way in helping you to avoid unnecessary drama in your life. Question your assumptions, Avoid becoming judgmental of yourself and others and rid yourself of expectations and you will never be disappointed.
You will learn now or at some point in the future that NO ONE can "hurt" your feelings. They belong to you and you alone are responsible for how you feel. You can, however choose to allow someone else to take control of your feelings if that is what you prefer. Why would you want to do that? How often do you hear someone say "You hurt my feelings" or "You make me so angry". What they are really saying is "I am giving you the power to control how I feel." They can use this power to make you feel guilt when you are not guilty. The guilt then turns to shame. The shame leads you to question your self worth, which lowers your self-esteem. Your confidence slowly dies; doubt and despair take its place. Then anger, resentment and depression that can make a person feel powerless, all because they gave someone else the power to control their emotions.
What follows are some of the things you said and some remarks (all of which should be taken lightly with a sense of humor J)
"I thought she was purposely trying to hurt me." When you think someone is mistreating you in some way, it is up to you to confront him or her and be honest about your suspicion. Give them the chance to express what is going on in their mind.
"I decided to hurt her (but not as bad)". Why? Trying to hurt a women or girl can backfire in the worst way. Men generally perform better in physical endeavors but women are by and far the masters of the emotional arena. Unfortunately, you will have to learn that through trial and error since it is unlikely that you will just take my word for it.
"Eventually, I realized she WASN'T (trying to hurt me)" When a woman is trying to hurt you emotionally or otherwise, she will make it abundantly clear!
"We started talking and she said she was sorry. I was mad at her because she refused my apology" made me feel 100% worthless. Every time I tried to make things right she brushed it off and ignored me. I couldn't forgive her because It is her who has to forgive me. Both sides have to forgive each other not just one." Again, neither of you needed forgiveness. Neither of you did anything wrong. If anything, She did you a favor by giving you the opportunity to make a bunch of mistakes that are common in failed relationships. Learn from them and move forwards into YOUR future.
Your worth, however, is not hers to take. No one can take your worth from you unless you choose to allow them to and even then, it is only temporary. Your worth comes from the source of all that is. It is inherent to your existence. She has learned much from you as well, however you can still teach her that your worth in inviolate and well beyond her reach.
"I removed her from my life 100% at the end of year 2 so I had no problem doing so again." Then lets hope you will not need to be woken up a fourth time.
answered 13 Jan '15, 18:32
If you are seeing this message then the Inward Quest system has noticed that your web browser is behaving in an unusual way and is now blocking your active participation in this site for security reasons. As a result, among other things, you may find that you are unable to answer any questions or leave any comments. Unusual browser behavior is often caused by add-ons (ad-blocking, privacy etc) that interfere with the operation of our website. If you have installed these kinds of add-ons, we suggest you disable them for this website