Hello everyone! I have a question that i understand but cant quit seem to comprehend- i hope there is someone that can provide clearance.
I like to put on Abraham while im cleaning my room or doing my homework- and most of the time i listened to the real basics of LAO- and after i was researching and gathering information about vibrations and the vortex)
But now youtube has this thing where it just starts playing videos that are alike to your current video and you can watch 24/7 non stop without ever having to even click once on another video if you did not want to..SO what happened is i jumped right from my vibrations and vortex videos into the wonderful videos of 'how to get ex lover back' or 'do THIS to attract soulmate' and i watched (and im not proud of this) like 4 hours straight to several hundreds of women that all in different stages of despair/hope were asking one thing: I want my ex back. What should i do. Help me.
So a couple of things that sparked my attention. i read about it and i do understand the reason but i still cant comprehend or process it. i hope someone can actually explain it.
So, if the woman wants her ex back,and she is really really freaking asking, like her rockets be poppin and she really believes that he is the one for her- they broke up because of circumstances- or she wasnt ready for it or he anyways- it wasnt something terrible and she believes he is her soulmate and its not happening for her- so she stands there before Abraham and this is what i noticed- the way i see it- law of attraction- you ask- it is done by the universe- you allow- (align) and you get it- if youre not some negative manifestation-blocking doubter- than the way I see it- she should get that ex/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend back right??
Well no, so what happens is Abraham is telling almost everyone- forget about that person just see what you liked in him and use aspects you enjoyed and the right person will come along- which is really weird to me because i never heard Abraham say- well you want that 5000 million dollar- well you cant have 5000 million dollars- but you can take the aspect that you liked about them and use them as an example because your 500 million Russian Rubles are waiting for you- and i think- we are creating our reality right? Well if we want 5000 million DOLLAR and THAT specific person than WHY is it that i should just take the aspects that i like and focus on another person?
Isnt it that it is ME asking- if it is not my soulmate or 'the one' than ME- while being in that relationship that i wanted to manifest- will understand that- dump him and move one. Thats the way other manifestations occur right?
Sometimes we manifest something and than its not what we wanted and then we have to manifest again and again and thats the joy of it but when it comes to this topic- its always a big fat no- but i dont understand that from the fact that it goes against the whole 'you create your own reality' for i think that many woman that were asking- got the answer- not him - so then if they chose that they wanted that person and got a 'no' as an answer then how is this?
Also, why is this almost only the case in relationships? Again, i never hear these answers about money or jobs or whatever- its always the ex. Thankyou!
I think it gets tricky because when you are trying to get an ex back the feeling of loss and need is so strong. When you are upset there's just so much resistance. That might be why they skirt around the issue a bit rather than encouraging you to try and break through all that. I'm not sure.
Have you read any of Neville Goddard's work? I feel like he compliments the Abraham material really well because he is still talking about the same principles but it always feels more straight forward and less limiting when he talks about it. For example, he says that if you imagine yourself touching or shaking hands with a certain person to the point where it feels like reality, you will soon meet them in life.
I really like Abraham, but sometimes it helps when you read wider and get a bigger picture.
Abraham, Goddard, Troward, Hopkins, Holmes - all of them indicate that manifestation happens more readily when we let go of the specifics of our desires. In other words, when we stop trying to direct HOW we will get to the feeling state we want, and we just focus on the feeling state. Abraham calls this "going general" until we can access the feeling state we want.
If a person wants to be in a relationship with someone else, they are actually desiring something they think they can get by being in that relationship: a sense of security, a feeling of companionship, an experience of shared interests and passions, great sex, etc. Very often, unfortunately, when a person wants to be in a relationship with a specific person, it is because they imagine the person can supply something to them that no one else can - and that they cannot supply for themselves. This is never true, and the focus on having that thing only from and in the very narrow condition of that specific relationship, makes a very tiny space for the creative powers to work through.
Sometimes a person who believes that a specific relationship is the only answer to their prayer, can find a place of understanding inside where they realize what they are actually wanting - that sense of companionship, playfulness, purpose, or whatever, and can see that there are infinite possibilities for fulfilling this desire. When they stand there, the universe has much more space to work, and can make that fulfillment manifest much more quickly. The manifestation may be a return to that specific relationship, or it may be the blossoming of an even better one.
"The universe is so vast, there are so many ways I can achieve the feeling state I want." This is a general statement which gives the universe a lot of working space. "I want this man, because he is the source of the feeling state I want." is a specific and limiting statement that severely limits the universe - besides not being true.
I have heard Abraham very strongly refuse to engage with limiting statements like the one above. There is no good reason to engage in that conversation, as it works against the manifestation the person says they desire.
answered 29 Dec '16, 14:02
I manifested a relationship with a specific person - but only because I wasn't tied to the relationship happening with that person. I have also, in the past, managed to push away a person because I was trying to manifest a relationship with them specifically.
Like others have said in their answers, there is a lot of resistance when you are tied to the fact that a relationship can only happen with that specific person. We may not always be aware of it, but the more we want our results to come in a certain way, the more resistance we will have. And the more we open ourselves up to allowing the Universe to bring our joy in the best ways, the better results we have (that goes for anything btw, not just relationships - you'll have a lot more success manifesting money if you don't NEED it to come in a specific way, and instead just let the Universe decide which way is best and easiest).
Additionally, even if you do manage to overcome the internal resistance and manifest the relationship, the person you have set your sights on may not be able to provide the specific relationship you desire. It's much better to focus on exactly the kind of relationship you want - and if the person is able to match with that, then you'll manifest a relationship with them. You can never know what a relationship with a person will truly be like - you may think someone would be your dream partner, when in fact the relationship could be horrible. Don't get attached to it being a certain person, leave this up to the Universe, because the Universe knows best.
Using my experiences to explain: many years ago, I had a fling with this guy I had a crush on, and I tried every technique I knew in order to manifest a relationship with him. Looking back now, I had a LOT of resistance which I didn't see and didn't address at the time. Well surprise surprise, for no seeming reason at all, he decided that he didn't want to see me any more - and previously, he had been really interested so that was a strange turn of events.
Now to the current relationship I am in. I had an intense crush on this guy for so long. We started seeing each other casually, but he was adamant about not wanting a serious relationship, for personal reasons. So, I continued seeing him once in a while, because it made me happy to spend time with him, but I made sure to enjoy the relationship for what it was, and not place any expectations on it (not as easy as it sounds, it took a lot of dedication and meditation). At the same time, I kept refining my vision of my ideal relationship, and working on manifesting that, without needing it to be him - in fact, I actually thought we wouldn't be compatible at the time, so although I liked him loads, I never thought it would be him.
Well, time passed, and eventually I decided that it was time to let the relationship go, because I was no longer at a point where I could enjoy the relationship for what it was without wanting more from him - and knowing his stance on relationships, I didn't want to pressure him (in words or energy) to be in a relationship with me. So I decided to stop seeing him. But I kept getting all these weird signs from the Universe pointing me back towards him. The last straw was, before a night out I had made an intention to be asked out by someone - anyone, as long as the person was attractive to me. I got my wish, but in the weirdest way - the person who ended up expressing interest in me was someone I could never date, due to the fact that he was closely connected to my guy. It was a totally random event bumping into this person, and I realised it was a clear sign from the Universe that things were not done with my guy.
At this point, I still wasn't sure that we were compatible, but I'm savvy enough not to keep ignoring the Universe, so I was like "FINE Universe, I'll ask him out since you keep fricking insisting!!" (imagine me pouting like a child being told to go clean their room by a parent - that's how I felt, because I was still sure he'd reject me and I didn't want to go through that). But anyway, I told him I liked him too much to continue seeing him casually, and I gave him the choice of either being strictly platonic friends, or to have a relationship. He chose the latter :) It's been 1.5 years now, and we are so super compatible, we've never even had a fight. It is pretty much my dream relationship. So that's my story of manifesting a relationship with a specific person, by actively trying not to manifest a relationship with the person.
The way I answer this question to myself is that you can create your own reality, but you cannot create reality to other people. I mean, a relationship is a co-creation between two or more people, so even if the person in love is convinced that the ex in question is the one, maybe the ex is not feeling the same - the ex doesn't want to co-create that relationship. It makes sense to me that if the person in love focuses on the qualities of the other person and releases resistance, sure enough the person may attract one other, new relationship, with someone with the same qualities. If the person gets stuck wanting just the ex, it seems almost impossible to get the next, and the next and the next...
answered 29 Dec '16, 07:02
i agree with your your question and thought about it alot myself. but i must say that abraham always says a brief "yes, you can ,and its hard" and than start their VERY VERY long speech about the "but...but..but" which contredicts their whole loa concept - i know! the first patr of - "you can" - not every one hears cause its really short, and they never elaborate about it. but other people on the web /youtube do.
again- i agree and think they creat in the questioner even more contredictions then they had befor they came in the chair but thats just me. maby someone should put that question to abraham.
also i think it is like that because people are different from things like money or a job when it comes to free will. i think its a matter of control. so yes, we do create our own reality but not others, so we can't create our ex reality ,only ours. but we can create money cause money doesnt have a will it is only a viberation.
so we actually need to co- create. to have both people to want to be together.
Let us keep in mind, Abraham says that in any relationship, we are really looking for the relationship with ourselves. I was searching for the quote I used to have in a file, but can't locate. So here is something from Adamus St. Germain, in the book, Masters in the New Energy. Says essentially the same thing:
I typed that out as much for myself as anyone else. :)
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