We've all been told, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Now, I used to think that if you treat people nice, then they will treat you nice in return, but it seems people take advantage of me when I'm nice to them. It seems easier to be mean to others than to be nice, because at least you get some respect. So I wonder if there isn't some hidden clause in the Rule that says something like "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you......but don't expect them to do unto you what you would have done unto you."

So what's the point of the Golden Rule if people don't treat me the way I want to be treated?

asked 08 Sep '11, 13:02

Terrence's gravatar image


Golden Rule is not a tool for achieving respect. The saintly path is a harsh one and you might never achieve respect. Saint knows that it only matters how does he look in the eyes of God. That is why Jesus said to the Pilate that if his kingdom belonged to this world, his followers would fight to protect him.

So we see clearly that the spiritual path won't grant you any respect. However, there are other paths that can. You can and you should make efforts to be respected, but by other means.

There is a thin line between helping others and being used by others. I too have gone through this. Then I realized that self-respect is as important as loving others. For if you do not respect yourself, you do not respect the divine spark that resides within you.

That is why balance is the key. The development of saints is one-sided, as well is the development of people that pursue power. The balance is to pursue power and love in the same time.


answered 08 Sep '11, 13:46

Asklepios's gravatar image


I like your answer, but perhaps it is the balance of self-respect and love for others. Not that love for others should be limited, its demonstration moderated by one's self-respect, not going too far if its not appreciated or wanted?

(08 Sep '11, 15:33) Inner Beauty

Even with a balanced development the main goal is STILL helping others. Power and love spring from different sources so I'd say one does not affect the other. Self-respect just makes you focus your efforts on people who really need your help, leaving your opponents (like people who want to take advantage of you) to their own fate.

(08 Sep '11, 16:12) Asklepios

I think the Golden Rule has everything to do with achieving respect, how could it not? If you want respect, then you treat others in a way that honors and respects them as well.

(09 Sep '11, 12:06) akaVienne

Then why in almost every school class there are cases of nice guys being bullied? Did the nice guys also bully someone so that they are receiving the merits of their past actions? I don't think so. Being kind and supportive towards others should come out of strength, not weakness. What you said is true, but I think that the Golden Rule is rather signpost on how to live your life morally, not a tool that will bring you what you want.

(09 Sep '11, 12:37) Asklepios
showing 2 of 4 show 2 more comments

You ask, "Does the Golden Rule really work?" I would have to say what I have stated before: I believe that God hard-wired the Universe to reward people who show love to others- as long as we love freely, without expectation of reward. The Golden Rule is another way of expressing what Jesus taught- "Love thy neighbor as Thyself"...For when we do unto others as we would have them do unto us, it is precisely the same action as "loving your neighbor". I have linked these two maxims together for a reason: When Christ was asked which of the commandments was most important, He answered,"The most important one...is this:...Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength...The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these." (NIV Bible, Mark 12:29-31) Why would Jesus mention this "Rule" if it was not of great Spiritual importance? So, from this, we can easily assume that the Golden Rule, which is expressed not only in Christianity but many other religions as well, is a guideline for living which results in a happy life.

So your answer to this question is "Yes, The Golden Rule works."

Blessings, Jaianniah


answered 08 Sep '11, 23:10

Jaianniah's gravatar image


Great answer Jai.

(09 Sep '11, 06:22) Paulina 1

Thank you!>>>>>>>>>>>

(10 Sep '11, 02:07) Jaianniah

The "Golden Rule" works, but it probably requires a bit of further explanation. For one, it states that one should do to others the sorts of things that one would like for themselves. This is fairly straightforward. However, it doesn't guarantee that the giver will receive anything in return. In general, unconditional love, the type talked about by Jesus an others, doesn't ask for things in return.. it is a movement of the soul simply to give, with no thought of payment. Expectations will totally negate the whole rule.. simply because the mind then expects on its own terms, and will get angry when it doesn't "get" exactly how it imagines it should. Secondly, it should be noted that many people don't actually know what is good for themselves or others! So this rule assumes that someone indeed knows what is "good" or "should be done" for themselves, and thus for others. Often people deem something very "good" for someone else, only to find out it wasn't the best thing to do/say/give after all. Intention is important, but it highlights that the best things one can do or give to others, is often the simplest things which involve no risk- the giving of time, attention and love.


answered 09 Sep '11, 04:38

dionysius's gravatar image


Love your answer.

(09 Sep '11, 06:24) Paulina 1

Doing good for others if done with the right intention to help without expecting reward or approvel is rewarding in itself. You should feel internaly rewarded for being blessed enough to be able to do your good for someone else. Your true reward however will come about in time some other way and from someone else. You reap as you sow remember.

If you are taken advantage of (and who hasn't been taken advantage of sometimes) learn to stop this from happening. If you are nice and kind and people take this to mean weak and want to use you, stop them right there. Don't allow others to abuse you and if you helped someone and they abused your help than stop helping them. Let them know why you are doing this but in a kind and respectful way. Sometimes people dont like others helping them for it makes them feel small and insignificant.

Yes the goden rule does work as if you truly treat people the way you would like to be treated (without expectation) it will come back to you but not allways from the same people or in the same way. If you hold grudges against people for not returning your goodness that is what you will get. They will hold grudge against you and be mean. Be mean and you will attract mean.

Be your kind and loving self but with authority let those that take adventage know they will not get it right and you will be a better person and happier and luckier. The one thing you should learn is to say NO. This simple word can change your life. Say NO to those that use your kindness for their own greed. Saying NO a few times works and if they don't like you for it, that is their problem for after all we can't allways please everyone. Do yourself a favour and be kind but say NO to abuse.


answered 09 Sep '11, 08:03

Paulina%201's gravatar image

Paulina 1

What if the golden rule really means "Love others as you would like to be loved?" When it's stated that way, there is no weakness to it since love is a place of power.

Love is about being compassionate, not judging, honoring and respect. If you treat people from a place of love, as opposed to being "nice", then you can treat yourself to the same love and not allow behaviors that are not loving or honoring to you.

This is my call to action for everyone to start loving everyone, including and maybe most importantly, yourself!

With love for no reason and every reason :)


answered 09 Sep '11, 09:08

akaVienne's gravatar image


the point is the congruence with the harmony of nature,
the thought leading to the plan of being saw the ultimate,
of sharing, sincerity and compassion,
not self-centeredness,
lest we forget there is an evolution in our destiny
and that we were here before and will be again,
so why tempt karma?


answered 09 Sep '11, 22:56

fred's gravatar image


well terrence what is easy is not always what gives you what is best. as for respect it is from you first from other after. respect works both ways. if people are not nice to you it is their problem not yours. if you know you did what was best does it matter to you that people judge you or believe annything they want?

1 Tim 5:24 (Phi) Remember that some men's faults are obvious, and are equally obviously bringing them to judgment. The sins of other men are not apparent, but are dogging them, nevertheless, under the surface.

Prov 28:13 (NIV) He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.

Rom 2:5 (Phi) Or are you by your obstinate refusal to repent simply storing up for yourself an experience of the wrath of God in the day of his anger when he shows his hand in righteous judgment?

Rom 1:32 (Jer) They know what God's verdict is: that those who behave like this deserve to die--and yet they do it; and what is worse, encourage others to do the same.

Gal 6:7 (Phi) Don't be under any illusion: you can not make a fool of God! A man's harvest in life will depend entirely on what he sows.

Rom 9:15 (NIV) ..."I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."

Luke 23:40-41 (NIV) ..."Don't you fear God?" he said... "We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong."

Mat 18:23-27 (NIV) "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go."

Mat 18:28-31 (NIV) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened."

Mat 18:32-35 (NIV) "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from the heart."

Micah 6:8 (NIV) He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

Luke 1:50 (NIV) "His mercy extends to those who fear him..."


experience and enjoy.


answered 09 Sep '11, 01:46

white%20tiger's gravatar image

white tiger

edited 09 Sep '11, 01:54

Wow White Tiger your knowlege in the scriptures is excelent and you allways find just the right verse to convey your message.

(09 Sep '11, 06:30) Paulina 1

paulina Giao if i tell you that it is not so much from my knowledge of the scripture but from my understanding. i do not know the bible by heart but i know what i know. thank you for your comment.

(10 Sep '11, 08:21) white tiger
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